He kissed me on the lips. We had a mini make-out, with his warm tongue in my mouth, and his lips on mine.
When he touched me, though, I tingled. Instead of knowing what's happening, I felt new, cleansed. When Scott kissed me, it was a wake-up call, and it just wasn't….new.
Someone's phone vibrated.
We pulled away in shock. I guess I was in shock, because I wanted to cry.
I looked over at his phone.
NEW TEXT! NEW TEXT!
FROM: Cassandra
MESSAGE: where r u?
Spence, where the f*** r u? u bettr b here in 5 min or ELSE, u b****. Bettr not b w/ Ms. Ugly wanna be.
He looked at me, slightly embarrassed. "Uh, she kind of hates you…"
"Yeah, no shit."
"Look, I'm sorry, I-"
"Don't be. I'll see you at eight."
He turned to me, then turned back and walked out.
A tear rolled down my face. I felt like crap. I drank too much, said too much, and hung out with the wrong people way too much. I can't control myself anymore. I feel like a robot, just with way less potential and ability. Spencer's in hell, I'm in hell, and so is Scott and Tiffany…
I thought about Scott. I almost forgot his face. His blue eyes like ice, his cheekbones a little more noticeable than usual, and his peach lips…his tan skin with the fades, and his messy, choppy look just….just…was supposed to be MINE.
Now those lips I kissed, I touched, they touched…..it was all love. Pure love, and I loved it every weekend together. When we went skinny-dipping, partied, celebrated, cuddled, got drunk, it was the attachment to us. It was what I dreamed of…Scott just…he just….wasn't here.
But those lips were now on Tiffany's pregnant body. And not on mine. I didn't have Scott, anymore, but I'm guessing Tiffany did.
I suddenly faded into the deep sleep….the hate-free sleep.
Deep sleep….
BEEEEP-BEEEP! "….we are who we are! We're dancing like we're dumb, dumb, d-d-d-dumb! Our bodies goin' numb, numb, n-n-n-numb! You know we're superstars, we are who we are! DJ turn it up..."
I bolted alert at the sound of my phone. I looked around at my room. Sunlight shown through the windows and blinded my vision. I turned around to look at the time…8:04 a.m.
I turned back to my phone on my bed, and stared at it for a little bit. I felt like I forgotten something, and I felt like I just fell asleep. But I thought about it for a while. I tried to think up what happened the night before, but it was a pretty big blur. I mean, who was I even with? Mom? Scott? Tiffany? Someone famous? I forgot about it and drifted back to sleep.
Wait. A. Fucking. Minute.
I looked back at the time. It was 8:16 a.m., and I just realized what I forgot.
I grabbed my phone of the way to the bathroom, and multi-tasked a little. I pulled towels out of its shelves, cranked on the shower, undressed, and pulled off the accessories. I looked at my phone, and almost screamed.
It was from Spencer. 27 text messages. From Spencer.
I just stood in the shower, half in half out, texting and somewhat showering.
I read all of them over and over.
Hey, I bet you're still sleeping but I'm really excited for the beach. C u 8!
Um, yeah i know, AGAIN? Well, its 7:00, and since I know u, ur prob up & getting ready as girls do.
Oh, did I mention I was excited? Well, i am!
Yeah, it's a lil' chilly this morning, sry, didn't look the weather when planned!
Did u wanna bring ur bikini…..we may or may not need it ;D
Umm….well Im already there. Nice day.
Soo bored. Sry if I bothered ya!
Umm..either a, ur busy….b, ur phones dead….or c, ur on ur way early.
Hey, me again. Cant wait 2 c u in 25 min!
Oh, 4got 2 ask…hows the tiff/scott dealio?
20 min! cant wait!
Ur gonna love this, Amanda!
Hey, baby, bring r cell phone!
Oh yeah, its not on the full public beach half, its on my end, and ull know where I am.
K, answer me!
Aww, a guy just proposed! Someday that shuld b us.
Ok, 15 min! hope ur coming soon!
Answer me! Sry, anxious.
Amazing….u r amazing. Bring ur surf board? Idc…(:
Hey, 10 min…
3 u 3
Ur the best, mandy!
Amanda, 5 minutes. I hope ur here.
Uh, Amanda…3 minutes. Can u txt me?
Where r u? its 8:08!
Umm…did u want me to get u?
Look, if u don't text soon…just, plz come…:/
I started to cry. He's so nice, and I finally get a good guy again, and I blow it by forgetting. Wow, what a great person! I quickly text him back.
I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SO SO SOSOOOOO sry spence! I overslept, i'm just getting out of the shower…I'm sry. I'm so sry.
I keep getting ready, putting on a white strapless dress with baby blue swirls and silver flip-flops. I dry my hair, and pop a baby blue and white flower in my hair. I finish my make-up and accessorizing, and run out the door, just barely looking at Scott and Tiffany. I stopped, grabbed some mints, popped up my middle finger and flashed it at them.
I kept running down the beach until I finally spotted a table with flowers. I looked at my phone for the time, and noticed it was 8:57 a.m. I almost screamed into full WTF mode. He wasn't there. There was a slip of paper on the table. I walked over trying not to cry.
I opened it, and started to read it slowly.
Amanda-
I'm sorry I didn't stay that long. I guess I thought you wouldn't come, if you did. So, while I'm writing this, I hope you know I really thought you'd come. I guess I was just stupid to think you'd even talk to me. Don't worry about apologizing. I already got the memo. See you at the set. Don't bother on calling or anything. It's not worth it.
-Spencer
I burst into tears. I felt so horrible. I just fucked up again.
I felt so bad for him. I knew I should've done something. But I guess its too late.
We're too late.
