Okay, I just had write this. It's probably crap because I didn't feel like writing this morning and I probably shouldn't write when I don't feel like it... but here it is anyway. Oh, I thought that the fight was pretty freakin hilarious. But I guess that was just me.

okay read on readers. Read on.

I feel like crap.

I really do. I was horrible to Edward. I can't believe I could be so... stupid and temperamental. I'm standing outside the hotel afraid to go back up. He's going to be mad at me... he won't understand, ugh, I have to see him some time. I mean we are getting married. So that makes it kind of hard to avoid someone. Oh, no. I thought wildly. What if he breaks off the marriage! And all because I had stupid mood swings. Geez, if I wasn't a virgin I'd swear I was pregnant and hormones were messing with my mind. But I couldn't talk to him. After all... he yelled back.

Another side of me said that was because you provoked him, that I scared him and it was his way of defending himself.

On the other hand... he... he... he is so ridiculous! My anger started building up again and adrenaline kicked in. I would do exactly what Alice told me to.

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I feel like crap.

I really do. I was a complete imbecile to Bella. My sweet innocent, loving, worrywart, paranoid, blushing Bella. I can't believe I said those things. Blaming her calling her names, that wasn't me. Why was I so upset? Yes, she's going to dinner with another guy... but I have to have a date with another girl too. But... this is Bella. My Bella. No one else's. And I had been cruel to her. I hurt her in more ways than one.

I was pacing in the hotel room, wearing a hole through the floor.

Would she forgive me? What if she couldn't trust me again? Oh no. I thought horrified. What if she called off the wedding? I don't think I could handle that. And just because I couldn't handle my emotions. Should I care? After all... she yelled first.

My sensible side told me that no matter what Bella did I couldn't let her get away. I couldn't let myself stand by as she went along with her normal human life. Human. Humans have mood swings.

On the other hand... she is... she is so impossible! One little thing and she totally took things out of proportion. She wouldn't even listen to me let alone talk her out of doing something she'd regret. She is completely unstable. I knew this. I knew this two years ago when we were 'dating'. I must be a masochist to hang around. I decided to do exactly what Alice advised me.

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"Emmett. Seriously. I really don't want to see your junk in you trunk. How on earth did you get a hold of so much spandex?" Jasper shirked back.

"Dude. You have no idea what you're talking about. I look hot."

a/n sorry. had to add that in there.

Jasper shook his head. "Vampires." He muttered as he ran downstairs where Alice sat on the couch not really looking at anything but still staring intently at something out of sight. Her hands wrapped around her bent legs and she leaned back on the back of the rocking chair, a smile playing on her lips.

"What are you up to now?" Jasper whispered in her ear and pulled on one of her spikes.

She joked. "Fixing the future from total destruction. Why? What have you been up to?"

So it was going to be one of those days.

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"Hello, Isabella. Isabella's brother." Ahaj nodded to me and Edward. He opened his mouth to say more but he closed it again and scrunched up his eyebrows. He really did seem familiar.

I felt awkward standing next to Edward. We hadn't talked since we had yelled at each other earlier. And even though it was awkward... it still felt right... I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I chanted in my head. Then it didn't feel awkward anymore. It felt like a chance to revenge myself and all of the little people.

"Perhaps you mean to say that you want to take us to a special restaurant that no one hardly knows about and the food is excellent." Edward said smoothly. Stupid gypsy mind reader.

"Sure." Ahaj smiled.

We walked quite a distance. It seemed like two hours before we finally stopped at our destination even though it was only thirty minutes. The smell wasn't bad at all. We were out a little further, close to the country I imagine. Little one level Shoppe's lined the road. It kind of looked like a third world country. Probably because it kind of is a third world country... or second world... what's the difference?

I looked the building directly in front of us. Ahaj's smile filled up his face and I got the sense of de ja vu again. I shook it off.

"This is Perdia Mehon." Ahaj stepped into a dark alleyway. "Come on. It's okay." We followed him, I, glad that Edward was there. The alleyway creped me out. I scoffed as I realized that I felt safe because Edward was there. Of course, the epitimy of safety is a vampire in a dark alleyway.

Ahaj pointed to a curtain that hung carelessly from the door. A sign read. Perdia Mehon and other type that I wasn't familiar with.

We entered. Edward froze, and I gasped out in astonishment. Alice was a genius.

As I've said before, I wasn't really in the mood to write this. i think I have a stomach ach... to much milkshakes last night I guess.

And yes, I do realize that i am evil. Deal with it.

- Rosalie