Report
The following documents the events that proceeded on the U.S.S. Enterprise during Captain James T. Kirk's simulation. The simulation was officially initiated at 1000 hours, and ended at 1434. Starting condition of the ship was normal, but there remain some minor malfunctions that must still be attended to. There are no deaths or severe injuries to report.
1000: One hour into Beta shift. Captain Kirk ordered Chief Medical Officer Dr. Leonard McCoy to infect ten members of the crew with Levodian flu. This particular disease was chosen because it is highly contagious but not dangerous. Its symptoms are similar to the common Terran flu virus, and the disease runs its course completely over a period of 29 hours. There is no cure for Levodian flu, but a vaccine can be developed according to the specific strain.
1200: Infected crewmembers began to show symptoms of Levodian flu. Three of those infected chose to report to Sickbay and found necessary replacements. The seven others decided to disregard their symptoms and continue working, facilitating in the spread of the disease throughout the ship.
1210: The captain initiated the security exercise.
1211: Other crewmembers not originally infected with Levodian flu show symptoms.
1221: Reports came in from security of a breach. Lt. Giotto dispatched three teams to neutralize the threat. The captain activated intruder alerts, Lt. Rairdon, the on-duty navigator, made a ship wide announcement notifying the crew of the presence of unidentified persons with malicious intent.
1225: The captain ordered Commander Spock to commence the computer simulation, Chief Engineer Montgomery Scott to commence engineering and weapons systems simulations, and Lt. Uhura to commence the communications simulation.
1226: The ship's lighting systems failed. This was one of the captain's 'wild cards,' or unexpected elements added to the overall simulation. The captain ordered emergency back-up to come online, but that also failed. Engineers were ordered to fix the problem immediately, but unexpected complications arose. Lt. Rairdon informed the crew of the malfunction and ordered use of standard issue NVGs.
1231: The engineering department's on duty senior officer reported a major circuit failure. Speed was reduced to sublight.
1233: Computer systems reported that the ship's computers had been compromised, and the scientists were investigating and attempting to patch the breach.
1238: Weapons systems reported a serious malfunction related to the ship's phasers, repairs were under way. At the same time, Nurse Chapel issued a warning to all crew members that any who felt ill should report to Sickbay, as the nurses suspected an outbreak of Levodian flu. Quarantine procedures were engaged for crew's quarters and recreational and dining facilities.
1239: The captain ordered all science personnel who were not infected or working to fix the computer systems to assist the Medical Department in quarantine procedures and to develop a vaccine against the flu. He ordered that the engineers first contain the damage on the circuits, then assist those repairing the phasers. All crew were to operate using NVGs.
1241: The communications department reported that sensors were offline and there was an incoming transmission from an unidentified source.
1242: The computer systems scientists reported that the virus was attacking the life systems programs and posed a serious threat to the safety of the ship. This was the captain's second 'wild card.' Orders were given to all communications officers with proficiency in computer or mathematical languages to assist the computer scientists. The captain then tried to contact the security guards at auxiliary control, presumably with the hope of taking manual control of life support systems.
1244: The security officers at auxiliary control sent a brief, frantic report that the intruders broke through their defenses and now had control of the ship. The captain gave command of the ship to Mr. Spock and left to attend to the security simulation.
1247: Security reported that the intruders at auxiliary control were holding the guards captive and were firmly entrenched in their position. Any attack would require cutting through the walls, which in turn would require experienced engineers. All engineers were occupied, but a team of three was dispatched to assist Lt. Giotto and the captain.
1251: Engineering reported that damages on circuits were extensive but temporarily contained, and that the maximum speed available Warp 2. Repairs on the phaser system were still underway. Two members of phaser crews were sent to Sickbay with second degree burns. Mr. Spock ordered the pilot to increase speed to Warp 1, then ordered Lt. Uhura to send a message to Starbase 19 that the Enterprise would arrive on schedule.
1259: Sickbay reported that a simple vaccine based off previous Levodian flu vaccines was found and synthesized in the laboratories. Quarantine procedures on all decks were initiated and successfully proceeding.
1305: Mr. Spock decided to lend assistance to the computer teams. The new variant planted in the computer systems was not according to the design of his simulation, and he ascertained that it would inflict considerable damage to the ship's life systems if not defused.
--
"Isn't it weird to refer to yourself as Mr. Spock? I mean, what's the problem with writing in first person?"
At times it is difficult to ascertain whether the captain is being deliberately obtuse so as to find amusement in my reactions, or whether his unintelligent comments reveal an equally unintelligent thought process. These two options are not mutually exclusive.
"Your academic records indicate that you completed the course on technical writing, captain. If you recall--"
"I don't really remember it. But did you have to write down every single thing that happened? I was there, Spock. Just skip that shit and give me your analysis."
"You requested a formal report, sir. And while it is true that you were on board the ship for the duration of the simulation, you left the bridge at 1247. From that point forward, you cannot claim to know the exact sequence of events. In order to understand my recommendations, it is necessary to understand the context. Furthermore, presenting all the data allows you to implement your own analysis and perhaps consider other options I may have overlooked or failed to mention. Presentation of data is standard procedure among all scientists."
The captain gave no indication that he heard, let alone understood, anything that I said.
"What are all these graphs for?"
"If you read the entirety of the report, then the information presented in the graphs would be self evident."
"The analysis begins on page seventeen? What the hell did you write about—why is there an appendix?"
It appears that the captain was telling the truth when he said that he didn't remember any aspect related to technical writing. This also explains his stipulation to omit formal citations of each Starfleet protocol followed, or violated.
"Page seventeen," the captain stared at the datapad. "Oh. I get it."
"'Get' what, captain?"
"You're pissed off that I messed with your computer simulation."
"That is not relevant to the matter at hand."
"Sure it isn't," the captain smiled. "You're just mad that I was able to use the same trick twice, installing a subroutine that made your whole simulation reboot—"
"Vulcans do not 'get mad,' captain. Once again, you fail to understand that my actions are dictated by the requirements of my duties and my position as Starfleet officer and scientist, unlike the flagrant and meaningless liberties you take based on your compulsive need to rebel and affirm your sense of self worth. The report provided was not written based on my caprice, but what is expected according to Protocol 309-5 subsection C. If in the future you desire only analysis, then I request that you state your orders clearly such that ambiguity is not possible. Your ability to lead, such as it is, is undermined by your propensity to give unclear commands."
The captain's expression closed off. He then looked at me, eyes narrowed, brows furrowed.
"We keep missing each other," he said to no one, shaking his head. He then straightened and stood up from command chair. "Thank you for the analysis, Mr. Spock. Your report will be made available for all crewmembers." He made a motion to dismiss me. "Oh, and there's going to be a ship wide conference at 0900. We'll be at Starbase 19 in about 25 hours. I'm going to check on the repairs with Scotty. You have the conn."