A/N: Hello everyone, I'm back! Sorry it took so long to update, I've had a serious case of writer's block and I'm also trying to plot out a new story. As always, I appreciate everyone who reviews, favorites, follows and reads this story! Keep it up and you'll get more! :)

Chapter 10 - Sorry

"Kenzi what are you doing here?" I asked her, completely surprised by the unexpected visit. I was going to ask how she found me, but then I realized that Bo could have told her. She could have sent the girl to apologize or her mistakes.

"Hey Lauren. Sorry for dropping by like this, but I was hoping we could talk." She answered.

"Uh sure. About what?" I asked.

"Actually, it's about Bo." That was the last thing I wanted to hear. My suspicions were right. Bo did tell her to come talk to me. Was she too much of a coward to come apologize herself? Then Kenzi continued, "She's using again Lauren." My eyes widened. It did actually surprise me to know that Bo was on drugs again. Honestly, I wasn't sure I should believe what she said about her past. This did hurt my heart to hear. It hurt me even more to find out that Bo lied to me though.

I took a deep breath in and exhaled. "Look Kenzi, that's bad and all, but if you're here to get my sympathy for her, it's not going to work. It was nice to see you but I have to get back to something." I said sternly and began to close the door.

"No, no it's not like that!" The smaller girl said frantically. "Look, I came here with Bo because she wants to apologize. She's really sorry Lauren. Lying to you was obviously a dick move, and she's been paying for it since returning to New York." Kenzi said. "She's just been this incredibly sad person and I can tell that she regrets doing what she did. She really cares about you Lauren." She finished.

"Well if that's the case, why are you here instead of her?" I was becoming irritated that it was Kenzi saying all of this instead of Bo herself.

"She's here." She said waving her hand towards the side of my house. Bo walked out and moved up towards Kenzi and I. She held her head down. I could tell that she was genuinely regretful. Or at least it looked that way.

"Hi Bo." I said calmly.

"Hi." She replied, head still hung. I wanted her to look at me. I wanted to see those brown eyes that I adored so much. I wanted to reach out and put my hand under her chin and make her look at me. But I couldn't. She still hurt me, and I wasn't just going to forget that.

"So, are you going to say anything? Because there's things I need to do." I said to Bo. I wanted her to come right out and say whatever she was going to. Knowing her it was probably going to be short, and straight to the point. I probably wasn't going to be forgiving her anytime soon.

Bo finally looked up at me, eyes filled with emotion. Her face changed a bit, it looked like something clicked inside of her. "Lauren, I am so, so sorry." She said sincerely. "If you'll allow me to come in, I will explain everything to you. And tell you how sorry I am...please." I considered it for a moment before moving out of the door frame as motioning for them to enter. We sat down in the living room and Bo continued her apology.

"Lauren, the last thing I would want to do it hurt you, please believe me."

"Then why did you lie to me, Bo? Why?" I felt my emotions rising to the surface and struggled to keep them down.

"I lied to you about my work because I wanted to forget about it. I didn't want to think about it while with you. But, I never thought that anyone would follow me out here. Please believe me Lauren." She paused and inhaled. "I also did it because I didn't know what you would think about me if I told you what my job really was." Her eyes were diverted towards the floor.

"You should've just told me the truth." She nodded. "Why did you lie about Kenzi too?"

The girl in question turned her head toward Bo. "What? Why lie about this awesomeness?" She said quirkily. It made me want to laugh a bit, but I held a straight face, Bo looked up at me. "I said that Kenzi lived back home because I wanted it to sound like I lived alone. I wanted you to come back to Manhattan with me, and somehow I could get Kenzi out of the place for a little while." She said and looked at her friend. The younger girl feigned a shocked expression. She sighed and continued.

"I guess I just wanted you to think I was better than I actually am." She said sadly. I couldn't help but feel bad for her despite what she did to me. I still love her, and that's something that won't go away, not easily anyway. "Truth is, Kenzi lives with me because she is also helping pay the rent."

I spoke up, "Bo, your occupation and living arrangements won't change how I see you." She looked up at me with those big brown puppy dog eyes. "What I mean is, I fell in love with who you are, not what you have."

"I'm really sorry, Lauren." She apologized again. I really wanted to forgive her right then, but she still hurt me. If she can't be honest with me after all these years of knowing each other, I don't know how I can trust her again. "So what about everything else you said? About your past, and the drugs, is that a lie too?"

"No, that was all true, I swear. I wouldn't lie about something like that."

"What about your girlfriend, Ashley, was it?" She looked away for a second and took a deep breath.

"I met Ashley after I divorced Dyson. I became friends with her, and started having casual sex with her when I was feeling down. She mixed sex and friendship and thought we were dating, I decided not to deny, at least for a while because she could lend me money. After I got enough to come see you, I wanted to stop seeing her. I should've made that clear before I left."

"So you're not dating her?" I asked.

"No. Not anymore."

I had to ask one more question. The one I was actually fearing the answer to. "So...when you said you loved me..." I didn't get to continue because I was cut off by Bo's answer.

"That was the truth Lauren. Please believe me. It's still weird for me to say it, but I do love you, and when I'm away from you, it kills me. I fall back into old habits like doing drugs again. When Kenzi said that, she wasn't lying."

I was worried about Bo when she was away from me. Perhaps more so than I should have been. She did hurt me by lying to me and breaking the trust that we had. But I couldn't not think about her. I honestly didn't know what to believe after she left, but I did have a thought in the back of my mind that she could be getting into some trouble. I didn't want her doing drugs again, screwing up her mind and body. I don't know what I would do if she overdosed again, especially now that we reconnected. I held back the tears forming at the thought of it.

"Bo, please stop with the drugs. I mean it. You did hurt me by lying, but I don't know what I would do if I lost you for good." I said sincerely.
She gave me a small smile.

"I will stop this time. I promise. But, I need you in my life again." I do want to be in her life, but there are no doubt things we need to work on before starting a relationship. "It's like, without you, I lose myself. I lose myself in drugs, and sex and partying..." She sighed.

I bit my lip and turned my head away. I was taking in what she just said. If I was going to be with Bo, she needed to clean up her life. I couldn't help but think that I could be a huge help in that. "I don't know Bo. I want to be with you, but you need to fix yourself first. Straighten out your life and then we'll see where we stand."

She looked at me intently. I knew Bo so well, that I could tell what she was feeling just by looking at her face or her eyes. They portrayed sadness and doubt. She also looked a bit confused. I suddenly felt a twinge of guilt. "I could help you with that. But you need to promise me that you will be honest with me from now on." I added.

Bo nodded, "I will, I promise." And smiled slightly. "So, um, do you forgive me?" She asked.

"No."

"No?" She repeated me.

"You broke my trust in you Bo. That's not something I can just forget about and move on."

She was brooding now. "Oh...I just thought-"

"I will forgive you, but in time." I stated. She continued to focus on the floor, so I put my hand under her chin and tilted her head up. "Ok?"

"Ok." She said. She looked as if she was contemplating something. "Um, Lauren. We aren't doing anything later, so uh..." She hesitated. "If you're not busy...did you want to maybe, go somewhere?" Kenzi elbowed her and whispered "dude!" I wasn't sure what that was about.

That caught me off guard. I didn't want to refuse her offer, but I had already made plans with Tamsin to go for drinks tonight. "Oh, well...I would love to." Bo smiled. "But, I already made plans with Tamsin to go somewhere tonight. I'm sorry." Why am I apologizing? It's not like I knew Bo was coming to visit again. I simply made plans with my friend and not with someone who lied to me. I shouldn't feel bad, but somehow I do.

"Oh..." Bo said plainly. "Well, it was nice talking to you Lauren. Thanks for listening to me. Kenzi, we should probably get back to the hotel now." She got up to leave. She walked out the door without so much as a goodbye, Kenzi followed but stopped to say something to me.
"Sorry about her doc, it's just that she's still got stuff in her system and it's just making her over emotional." The small girl said.

"It's alright Kenzi. Just, watch her. Make sure she stays off the substances." I told her. She nodded and walked out the door. Now I was left alone with just my thoughts that were like a monsoon in my mind. I wasn't going to get over the fact that I loved her, but I wasn't going to get over the fact that she hurt me either. Not too soon anyway. I really did want to go out with Bo tonight, but what was I going to say to Tamsin? 'The girl who lied to me and crushed me came to visit today. And by the way I'm blowing you off to go out with her.' I called Tamsin and told her what happened the day I left Bo at the racetrack. I was in tears when she picked up and it definitely sounded like I was crying, even though I was trying not to.

I picked up my cell and texted Tamsin.

L: "hey T, you'll never guess who just stopped by."

T: "Who? Please don't tell me it was Bo. Do I need to break that girl's face for you?"

I laughed, Tamsin was protective when need be. I actually appreciated it, because other than Bo, there was no one who would ever stand up for me.

L: "actually it was. But you don't need to break anyone's face. We just talked about what happened that day."

T: "well, I assume she apologized then? What's your status with her now?"

L: "I told her I would forgive her, but in time. She is using drugs Tam. She told me that she had a problem with them in the past, but I wasn't sure if I should believe it."

T: "I know a guy who can get her help if it's needed. But good to know you guys talked through your shit."

Tamsin and I were talking about her life yesterday. She told me that all of the relationships she's had in the past 3 years haven't worked because they weren't handled the right way. Instead of talking about things, she would just walk away or get angry. It was the same with her partners. I actually felt bad for her. She wasn't a bad person and didn't deserve to be treated so poorly in the romance department. She deserved to be happy.

T: "but if she ever hurts you again, let me know and I'll be sure to handle it."

L: "thnx Tamsin, but I don't know if I'll be in need of your services...we still on for tonight?"

T: "yeah, sure are. Meet u there at 8. g2g, ttyl."

And with that, the conversation was over. After that, I decided to call Kenzi instead of Bo, I wasn't what was up with her just leaving like that. I left a message on her voicemail asking if she and Bo wanted to spend the day with me tomorrow. I wanted to talk to Bo about what happened before she left as well as just spend time with her. The past week was grueling to get through without her and especially her leaving without us talking about what happened at the racetrack. I was thinking about the last thing Bo said to me before we got to the track. We were in the car, about to arrive at our destination. She looked at me and said in a soft tone, "I really like being you Lauren," and put her hand on my thigh. I teared up remembering her words. We shared that sentimental moment, and then about 10 minutes later I was yelling and running from her. I actually abandoned her there since I was her ride. Looking back, I kinda feel like an ass. But it wasn't undeserved.

It was almost time for me to meet up with Tamsin. I finished getting dressed and doing my hair, before grabbing a jacket and walking out the door. When I arrived at the bar, I greeted Tamsin and we each ordered a drink.

"So Lauren, how are things?" The other woman asked me. The way she said this, made it sound like she was talking about general everyday things. But the double meaning about Bo was not lost to me. I didn't really know how to reply to her. How were things with Bo and I?

"Things are...alright." I hesitated. "How about you?"

"Fine." She took a swig of her beer. "Let's cut the crap Lo." I looked at her, confused. "Did you forgive and forget, or are you holding the bullshit lies against her?"

I cleared my throat and looked away for a moment. I didn't know where this came from. I knew Tamsin was protective and didn't want to see me get hurt, but she wasn't usually so concerned about my relationship with others. "I said I would forgive Bo, but in time. We talked about what happened and she said it would never happen again. I believe her, for now. And hopefully it doesn't happen again."

"Yeah well, how can you really trust her after lying to you like that? I mean, she's known you for a long time and still had the nerve to lie to you about something like having a dangerous job or a girlfriend."

"Because I love her Tamsin. That's not something that will just dissipate overnight or over a couple of days." Tamsin sighed and looked down. "Besides, why does it matter to you anyways?" That came out sounding harsher than intended.
I was expecting her to say something typical like 'because I'm your friend and I don't want to see you get hurt.' But, instead she looked at me intently for a second, before grabbing my shirt and pulling me in to a kiss. It was quick, only lasting a few seconds, but I was shocked when I pulled back. I stared at her wide eyed and mouth agape.
"Wh-what..." Was all I could stutter out.

"I like you Lauren. As more than a friend. But it's very clear to me that you love Bo. I know she cares for you too, but I just really don't want to see you hurt by her again." I was still staring at Tamsin. I can't believe she just did that.

"Um, Tamsin, I..."

"It's ok." She interjected. "I know you have eyes for someone else. But just be careful with her...I don't really trust her after that stunt she pulled a week ago. I couldn't stand listening to you crying and sounding so hurt that night. I would've came over, but I couldn't leave the station."

I forced a smile to show her that I appreciated her concern, but I was still confused. I never knew that Tamsin had feelings for me. Why didn't she ever act on them? We had know each other for a few years now. Could she have known that I was in love with Bo, even before she knew I'd reconnected with her? I had talked about my past with Tamsin, but never mentioned what I felt and still feel for Bo until a couple weeks ago. And it's not like I was ever taken the whole time I'd known Tamsin, I was always single. But I don't think I'd ever be able to give myself to her completely because a part of me would still be wishing that I was with Bo.

"Thank you Tamsin, for always looking out for me. But, I can't say that I like you in the same way." She nodded but looked away. I put my hand on her face forcing her to look at me. "You're my best friend, and I don't want that to ruin what we have." I was suddenly reminded of when Bo and I were younger. I had said almost the same thing to her more than once. I had immense feelings for her but couldn't bring myself to admit them, or be in a relationship with her because I was too afraid it would ruin our friendship if there was a bad outcome.

"No, we're good. I do like you, but I can get over it. I know that you love Bo, and I don't want to come between whatever it is that you guys have." I smiled for real this time. She really did care about me. "I know that she makes you happy, but she also has made you cry on more than one occasion, even without being here." She finished. It was true, I had cried over Bo even when she wasn't here.

I grabbed the other blonde and pulled her into a hug. "Thank you Tamsin." I whispered.

"Yeah, no problem. Uh, I've got an early morning tomorrow. So, I should probably get going." Tamsin paid for our drinks before giving me a hug and leaving. I finished my drink before I decided to leave too. There was a lot on my mind and being in a bar was not the best place to fully comprehend things. I reached my car and headed home for the night with my mind racing. It was filled with thoughts of Bo, Tamsin, the past week's events, and the events of the past couple hours. For now, I just needed to get home and relax. I will figure things out tomorrow.

Ohhh...yes I stirred the pot by adding that kiss. What will happen next? You'll just have to wait and see! ;)