A/N: Thank you yet again to Jezebel Jai-Braxlin for beta reading this chapter. Also, I know this chapter is shorter than normal, but hopefully it's an important enough chapter that you'll forgive me for that. Or maybe you won't...

October 13th, 2009

"Hey," Embry greeted as he lowered himself to the ground under our usual tree.

"Hey," I returned with a grin.

Embry's smile was strained. Something was wrong, and I felt my own grin slipping.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

Embry's eyes widened before he got himself under control. Had he really thought he was hiding it well enough for me not to notice?

"Nothing," he replied. His voice was stiff and distant, a clear sign that he was doing a bad job of lying to me.

It was uncharacteristic of Embry. Not that he would try to act like nothing was wrong when it was, but that he was easily readable. No one I knew could conceal their innermost thoughts the way Embry could, and his failings now alerted me to the fact that, whatever it was, it was a bigger deal than I wanted to know.

I nudged him in the side to get him to focus on me again.

"What's wrong?" I repeated.

With a large sigh, he glanced back down at the ground. I could read the defeat on his face. His plans of acting fine had failed. There was no way I was letting him get away with not explaining himself, and he knew it. I wanted an explanation.

"We need to talk," Embry said with a long exhale.

My stomach dropped, and my heart began racing. While I'd been worried before, that had been for Embry's sake. Now I was terrified, and it had nothing to do with how Embry felt.

"You were going to lie to me about us needing to talk," I said in an attempt at a joke. Except I couldn't laugh, and Embry sure as hell didn't either.

He didn't say anything, just stared out at the horizon as if willing this situation to magically disappear. Except it wouldn't. It couldn't now that he had put it out there. Truthfully, we had gotten on a train months ago that was heading for this and would have reached it no matter what. Embry's reluctance was only one of the many delays we'd experienced along the way.

Because I knew what Embry wanted to talk about. And I didn't want to talk about it with him.

"Leah," Embry started again. We'd been silent for so long by then that I was hoping we'd be able to stay that way before departing home once the sun was up. Embry wasn't going to let that happen, not now that he'd had the courage to speak up in the first place.

"Yeah," I said, failing to sound nonchalant.

A sliver of sunlight began to peek over the horizon. My gaze zeroed in on it.

"The kiss." I sucked in a sharp intake of breath as soon as Embry said it, stopping him from adding whatever he had planned to say. I hadn't meant to do it. It had only been a reaction. Not only my cheeks but the entire length of my neck flushed.

We fell silent, but this time, the air was filled with tension. Embry's words hung between us, unwilling to dissipate.

I wasn't going to be the one to talk first. I had nothing to say, nothing I could say.

Embry whispered, "It happened."

I closed my eyes, willing the gathering tears to go away.

"Uh huh," I replied dumbly. Saying anything more solidified it too much. If I only replied vaguely, the memory could remain something that had happened in a dream world. It didn't have to be dealt with in reality. But Embry wasn't going to play by those rules anymore. He'd proven that already.

With a sigh, Embry said my name again. I didn't want to respond, but the combination of his voice saying my name and his gaze on me drew my eyes to his. He was watching me as if scared I would bolt if he moved too quickly. He watched me as if I were a scared bird with a broken wing who he wanted to help but had to approach cautiously.

I didn't like it. I didn't want to be some sad, injured animal.

But my only other options were pretending like nothing that had happened mattered to me or embracing it and going all in. Neither one of those options were appealing.

"Leah, we have to discuss this. It's only going to get harder the longer we let it fester between us."

I shook my head. "Not if we just act like it never happened."

It was the most I had been able to get out since the subject had been brought up, and the result was Embry looking heartbroken. I cursed myself. I had meant what I said, but surely there were more sensitive ways to phrase it. I didn't want to act like it had never happened because I didn't want to be with Embry. He had to understand how terrifying the idea of "us" was.

After everything Embry had watched me go through, he couldn't believe I could do this. Not with him, not with another wolf. Embry was tied up in my past. He had seen how spectacularly relationships blew up in my face. I didn't know if I was ready for that again.

"Embry," I said hesitantly. He wouldn't look at me anymore. Already, I'd screwed things up. This was why we couldn't talk about this. Nothing good would come from it. All we'd managed to do was mess things up. They'd been fine before.

"Embry," I tried again, laying a hand on his arm. "Think about what would happen if something between us blew up in our faces. We're wolves. We're in the same pack. I'm your beta. We see into each other's thoughts. What would that be like if we broke up? You saw what happened with me and Sam. It would be that all over again. Whether there was an imprint or not."

"Why do you always think about what will happen if things go wrong?" Embry asked. His voice was desperate for me to view the situation like he did. "Things can go well, Leah. That's as good a possibility as things going bad is."

"No, it isn't," I scoffed. "Any relationship is more likely to end than not end. It's foolish to think otherwise."

Embry growled in frustration. "It's not foolish, Leah. Actually, maybe if you think like that it is foolish, but if you're determined to make things work, then it's not. Then you stand a chance."

"A slim chance."

Embry leaned back against the tree trunk, eyes closed. I tore my eyes away from him to stare at the sunrise. Today, there wasn't any enjoyment in it. The colors appeared muted compared to most mornings, like these came from a watercolor where the artist had used too much water.

Embry spoke again in a whisper. "And if we did break up for whatever reason, that isn't doomsday either. I know the situation with you and Sam was as shit as any break up can be, but that doesn't have to be how things would end with us."

I felt relieved hearing Embry acknowledge that a break up was possible. It was the most rational he had sounded since the start of this conversation.

"I guess," I said with a shrug.

It was true that it was difficult to imagine Embry hating me or me hating him. That wasn't the disastrous future I pictured. What I pictured was far more terrible. Because me being torn beyond compare was far more frightening that any possible anger I could feel. Embry and I could hate each other all we wanted. Anger wasn't the emotion that destroyed you.

Embry didn't say anything as he watched me. I could feel his eyes on me without looking at him. Tears pricked my eyes, but I wouldn't let them fall.

Finally, Embry stood up. I felt simultaneously relieved and distraught, a combination of emotions I had never believed possible until that moment. I wanted to pull him back down and keep him close, but I also wanted this conversation to end. I wanted it to disappear into the abyss, never to be heard from again.

It wasn't over though. Embry hovered above me, watching as he spoke.

"You have to stop running someday, Leah. You already have in so many ways. Someday you have to take the last step."

I held my breath as he disappeared into the trees.

Last step. I hadn't thought about my life in terms of repairing it and moving on in more than a year. Sometime after setting my major, I'd begun to feel discouraged about most things instead of optimistic about them continuing to get better. That combined with knowing I was finally unaffected by Sam and Emily had led to a belief that I was fine. I hadn't been looking for a last step. My life felt more like a flat plane now that I had a job that would presumably stick around for a while. I wasn't moving up or down anywhere, just forward with the flow of time.

That had become enough for me. After feeling as distraught and angry at the world as I had, just moving forward felt like enough of an accomplishment. I was happy. Could I see ways that I could be happier? Yes, but there was never going to be a time when I couldn't. Not unless my dad came back, I got ahold of a billion dollars, and I got the power to receive any wish I wanted. There was always going to be a way I could be happier, but that didn't mean I wasn't happy now.

What Embry wanted was for me to chase the potential happiness even if it increased my chances of getting hurt all over again, and I didn't know if I could do that. I certainly wasn't robbing a bank to get those billions of dollars. It was too high-risk. If dating some random guy was the equivalent of gaining happiness from a paycheck, then dating Embry was trying to get happiness from that bank robbery. I wasn't stupid enough to do it.