Title: Changed by an Angel
Chapter: 10
Author: Ashlee Angel
Email: ashlee_c69@hotmail.com
Disclaimer - Sailor Moon belongs to Naoko Takeuchi..... And frankly, I'm not Naoko Takeuchi
*.:.*.:.*.:.*.:.* Chapter 10 *.:.*.:.*.:.*.:.*
* Recap *
'Don't say it Darien . . . don't say it . . . whatever you do, don't say it. . . . ' Serena thought, her hopes dropping when she saw the smile fade from Darien's face.
"Serena . . . we need to talk."
. . .
Serena let his words sink in, then closed her eyes and heaved out a huge sigh of relief, stretching the silence.
"You seem . . . relieved?" Darien asked, a bit puzzled by her reaction.
"I am. I was thinking you'd say something along the lines of 'I don't love you anymore'," she said, not afraid to tell him what she thought.
Darien seemed surprised by her answer. If he had been expecting anything at all, it wouldn't have been this. He knew he had been acting different lately, but not enough for Serena to think that he didn't love her anymore. "You think I don't love you anymore?" he asked quietly.
"Well, you're so distant sometimes. All you ever do is stare at that rose of yours and just drift off into God knows where. . . . For all I know, you could be thinking about some other girl you liked," she said, turning her head so she wouldn't have to talk into Darien's gaze. There was no way she would be able to say what she felt when he looked at her like 'that'.
But Darien did something Serena had definitely 'not' thought he'd do. . . . He laughed. Then seeing the baffled expression on Serena's face, he pulled her into a hug.
Now Serena was beyond the point of confused. "Darien . . . are you okay?" she asked warily, putting a hand on his forehead, just incase he was running a fever.
He smiled, putting his hand over hers. Then bringing it down to his lips, he kissed the palm of her hand. "I'm fine." Then giving her a softer version of his half smile, "But you're not. You've had a hard day, so get some rest. I don't think the Prom emcee would want bags under her eyes. And just for tonight, I want you to relax and get some more sleep, alright? You deserve it."
Serena, too tired to argue, just nodded sleepily, before letting her head rest on Darien's shoulder.
*********************************
Finally seeing the distress leave Serena's fatigued form, Darien stood up, and carried the exhausted blonde to bed. Whatever he had to tell her would just have to wait. . . . For all he knew, she was probably already asleep. And even if she wasn't, he couldn't tell her.
Not now anyway.
Not when Serena thought he didn't love her anymore. It would just add to her doubts. He'd just have to tell her some other time . . . if there's going to even be another time. . . .
As much as Darien wanted to let Serena sleep in his arms, he settled her down in bed. Then kneeling down beside her, he watched her eyes open slightly.
"Darien? Do you know what it says on the inside of your ring?" she asked out of nowhere.
Darien looked down Serena, then at the ring she gave him for Christmas, twisting the band around his finger with his thumb. "If I remember correctly, you told me our names were engraved in it. Is it not?" he asked, not questioning why she brought it up.
"There's something else, too. Except it's very small. I sort of forgot to tell you before, so yeah," Serena said, closing her eyes again. "That's all," she added.
Darien stared at Serena for a moment or two. She could be a mystery when she wanted to. "Alright, night Sunshine," he said, leaning over, and giving her a quick kiss. "And remember, I love you, and only you," he reassured her.
Serena smiled halfheartedly. She believed him, but nothing lasts forever. . . . "Night Darien," she said, before she felt a rush of cold air course past her.
Peeking open one eye, she gazed upon an empty room. Shaking her head slightly, she let her eyelid flutter shut. 'Couldn't he just used the door?'
************************************
* On the roof *
The night was clear. Not a cloud in the sky. Darien sat on the edge of the roof, above Serena's room, staring at the star speckled horizon. It was like gazing into dark infinity. Quite amazing what the skies can actually tell you.
But today . . . they said nothing.
Darien sighed, letting out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding. He should've told her . . . but he didn't. He couldn't. The only problem was that he might not get another chance . . . ever. 'Let's just hope I get a chance to explain,' he thought, as the rose materialized in front of him.
He wanted so much to curse it, to make it go away, to never see it again. But most of all . . . he wanted that last petal to stay.
That last petal. . . .
Even though it could drift down at any given moment, it still held a magic that no color of red could begin to describe. Something that reminded him of the red that lay on his finger.
Looking at the ring now, he remembered what Serena had said. Slipping the gemmed band off his finger, he held it up to the light of the rose. Around the inside of the ring, it read 'Serena T. & Darien S.'
Then turning the ring on a different angle, he spotted a few words along the bottom, near the rim. From the looks of it, those words were made to be on the ring, and not engraved in at a later time.
And like Serena said, they 'were' quite small, but significantly clear at the same time. Almost as if the words had just been etched in.
Now the words themselves.....
Quite something....
* * * * * *
To love someone is nothing. To be loved is something. To be loved by the one you love is everything.
* * * * * *
Yeah . . . definitely something. . . .
Wonder why they would carve it on a ring, of all things. 'This makes so much sense that I don't get it. . . . ' he thought ironically. At least his life still had everything. . . .
Notice the past tense of that. He just hoped that nothing would happen until after he got a chance to say good-bye. Whether he liked it or not, his life was going to go back to stage number one:
Nothing.
***********************************************
* Prom Night *
Serena sat on the roof of her school staring up at the night sky. Actually, she wasn't really sitting, she didn't want to ruin her dress. The light blue, almost white satin hung loosely from two thin cut straps, accenting whichever way she moved. It was simple enough, but quite elegant.
Suitable for the prom emcee.
Her hair was much too long to put up, so she kept it down in curls (with a little help from Mina). And it wasn't half bad looking either.
It was 8:15pm. Still some time left before everyone started arriving.
Her, Mina, and the entire committee had to come early to do some last minute preparations. And since Darien and Andrew were their dates, they came along as well.
Serena had spent the last half hour making sure everything was done, and nothing was missing from her program. Now that everything had been checked and double checked, they could finally relax before the night started.
Which brings Serena to the roof, where she had a perfect view of the back of the school, where everyone would be arriving. Unlike most schools in the area, their school had a special area for dances, parties, ceremonies, or whatever. But the area was reserved for seniors.
Ever since Serena had been in kindergarten, she had always wondered what it was like in there. She had thought that maybe there was some sort of hidden treasure in there that only graduation students could see. Though like many other things, she was wrong.
But tonight's the night. Whatever's going to happen, good or bad, would happen tonight. . . .
'Let's just hope my luck favors the good side,' she thought, as she continued to gaze upon the night sky. It was pretty out tonight. No different from any other night, but still pretty. The stars were already out. And soon, she'd be able to locate the constellations. Find the star that she would just stare at whenever she had any spare time. The star Darien gave her was out there somewhere. . . .
Somewhere. . . .
It's funny how the color kept reminding her of Darien. Or actually his eyes. The same flame of blue flared in them. . . . It almost as if the star was part of him. You'd be able to tell his every feeling and emotion just by looking at the star. When he was happy, the star would shine brighter. When angry, it would throw bolts of flame into its orbit. When melancholy, it was just still, silent, and duller somehow.
Or maybe, it was just her imagination.
But the sky was still an amazing site, no matter what. The blacks, the blues, the whites. . . .
Just then, a blur of red twirled in front of her. She blinked. Red?
Serena focused out of the darkness and into the scarlet blur in front of her. She smiled. A rose. "Hey Darien," she said, taking the rose from his outstretched hand.
"Hey Sunshine, thought you'd know it was me," he stepping up beside her, casually slinging an arm over her shoulder.
"Mmmhmm . . . I don't know how you can be so at ease in a tux."
"Am I? It's not very comfortable," Darien said, pulling lightly at his collar.
Serena gave him a look before answering. "It's not supposed to be . . . So what're you doing up here?" she asked, leaning her head on his shoulder, looking back up at the stars.
"I could ask you the same thing."
"I was just looking for the star you gave me. I don't know why, but it reminds me so much of you."
"That's because it 'is' me," he said, looking up at the night sky.
"Care to elaborate on that? I don't get it."
"Humans have hearts. Angels have stars," he said simply.
Serena frowned slightly. "But you have a heart. I've heard it beating before."
"Of course, but if it stopped beating---which it won't, I'd still be alive. But as soon as that star burns out, I'm gone," Darien said, remembering something else that could cause him to be 'gone'.
Maybe he should tell her . . . she deserves to know. But there were too many what if's. He didn't want to ruin the night for her. Just hope that God would let him stay one more night.
Just one more night. . . .
**************************
* Three hours later *
The night had been something along the lines of interesting. There was still an hour left, but Serena's throat was already a bit sore from the announcing. Though she had fun . . . almost.
Something kept bothering her, she just didn't know what.
There was just that really bad feeling at the pit of her stomach. And Darien. . . . She wasn't complaining for anything, he was the perfect date . . . and the perfect actor. Something was troubling him too, but Serena had a feeling that unlike her, he wasn't clueless as to what it was.
And he was keeping it from her. Almost protecting her from it, but she wasn't completely stupid. Serena could see through the act, though Darien would never know that. The worry was evident in his eyes. But what was there to worry about?
She never even got a chance to talk to him about it. And the Grad King and Queen were going to be announced in . . . five minutes.
Too bad she dropped out of the voting, but she didn't want to be the Grad Queen anyway. She didn't really want anything at the moment.
Or so she didn't think.
***********************
Serena waited for everyone to quiet down as she stood on stage, behind the glass podium, with the results in hand. Raye looked from the resonant crowd, back to the stage where Serena stood patiently, waiting for everyone to quiet down.
Since she was closest to the stage, she might as well do something about. Walking up to the stage, she leaned into the microphone in front of Serena.
"I suggest you all shut up if you want to know who the King and Queen are!" Raye's voice blared in the speakers, causing everyone to turn their attention to the stage.
"Thanks Raye," Serena said, giving her a grateful look.
"No prob, you knock 'em dead girl," Raye winked, before going back to the audience, followed by Serena's laugh.
"Okay, now that you've all 'finally' quieted down, I can do my announcing. I'm sure you all know 'what' I'm going to announce. . . ." Serena started. "You know what the best part about being the emcee is? I get to brag about knowing the results beforehand. But I won't. Though before I open these two envelopes, how 'bout taking a guess at who the winners are? Will it be Mina? Ken? Trish? Beryl? Andrew? Raye? Darien? Alan? Katie? Ryan? Michelle?" Serena asked, as shouts from the audience could be heard after each name.
There were too many voices shouting at once, it was hard to distinguish them. "Alright, alright. I get the point." She didn't, but it would shut them up.
"Now, should I announce the King first, or the Queen? . . . . I'll do the King," Serena said, picking out one of the gold envelopes.
"Okay, Mr. Hall's making me say some stuff about the nominations, so you'll have to wait a bit longer. Now, what was I supposed to say again? Oh right, the Grad King and Queen nominations are for the people who have showed outstanding performances throughout the year or years in athletics, academics, leadership, and etc. The person with the most social ability doesn't necessarily get this award. We hope you made a honest vote, by only voting once, and this isn't a popularity contest, but you made the decision, so if you were all wise enough---"
Serena stopped in mid sentence. She rolled her eyes. She could practically hear the snoring in the audience. "Okay, I'll cut the crap and get to the point, but this better not get to Mr. Hall," she warned as she opened the envelope and took out a white slip of paper, holding it between her index and middle fingers.
She looked at the neatly cut piece of paper, then back to the audience. "And your 2003 Grad King is. . . ."
Serena heard the band strike up the drum roll, but she didn't read the name yet. Besides, she already knew who it was.
As everyone eagerly awaited for her to finish the sentence, one corner of her mouth crept up into an almost amused smile as she looked back down at the results.
Just reading the name alone sent warm tingles up her arm. Butterflies fluttered about in her stomach as her features relaxed. Serena momentarily licked her lips before slowly leaning down to the mike.
"Darien Shields."
She was barely able to finish when the entire audience started screaming. Well, primarily the girls.
Some of the guys started pushing Darien up to the stage because he wasn't walking fast enough. Or maybe because he was making no attempt to get on stage by himself.
After getting on stage, he looked at the audience almost sheepishly. Then stepping behind the podium, he gave an amazed, but slightly nervous laugh.
"Well . . . umm . . . I umm . . . guess I wasn't expecting it, but umm . . . I guess I should say thank you?" He glanced at Serena before continuing. "Though I think I should get to see who my queen is, don't you think?" he asked, before stepping back from the podium.
Serena wanted to laugh. Trust Darien to hand over the attention to someone else. "Alright, since your Grad King has nothing else to say, you'll hear from your Grad Queen. Who I'm sure has plenty to say," Serena said, as she opened the second gold envelope.
Taking out the white piece of paper, she turned to the crowd. "And your 2003 Grad Queen is . . . ."
Serena stopped for the customary drum roll. But her smile disappeared when she took a second look at the slip of paper in her hand. She didn't say anything, not because she knew who it was already, but because she was confused.
Which was quite evident from her features.
"Hmm . . . guess what?" she spoke into the mike. "I don't think you're going to be getting a Queen this year . . . see this slip of paper? It's blank." Serena didn't really know what to say next. Mr. Hall had given her the results, but she never 'did' look at them. She wanted to keep it a surprise for herself, too.
She just said she knew for the fun of it. But she could've sworn that . . . . Either they put in the wrong piece of paper, or the results got mixed somehow.
"Well . . . looks like Darien ain't gonna get his Queen. . . ." Serena said with a shrug.
"You guys keep on dancing or whatever, I'm going to check the results again. Hopefully, you'll get your Queen before midnight," she said, as the deejay started up another song.
*********************
After stepping off the stage, Serena left the building, out to the park beside the school, making sure no one followed her. She wasn't leaving, she just had to think things over.
She might ruin her shoes, but she didn't have anything to change into, so it would just have to do. It was already beyond dark out, but the stars gave off enough light to travel safely. The air was warm, not humid, just warm.
But Serena still shivered slightly. That empty, burdened feeling was back inside her again.
She almost felt panicked in some way. Not to mention the fact that her pulse had clearly increased what seemed like twice its rate. Her heart was beating faster though, she could tell. Nothing seemed to help.
Serena relaxed her muscles, and took a deep breath in. Then out. But it only made the pounding louder. 'I'm going to be okay. It was probably just the air. I'm going to---'
"Hey Sunshine, don't you know it's not safe to be out in the dark by yourself?"
Serena jumped at the voice. The alarms in her senses shrilling through her body. She almost ran, but a hand stopped her.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Darien asked softly.
Turning around, she blew out a huge breath of air, making her cough when she ran out of air. "Nothing, you just scared me, that's all," Serena said, her pulse growing softer, or so she thought. Something was really nagging at her now. She knew it was Darien . . . so why did she want to get away? As weird as it may sound, she just couldn't hear her heart beating anymore through the silence.
"You sure? You're a bit jumpy."
"Yeah, I'm fine," she assured him. "So what're 'ya doing here?"
"I wanted to talk to you about the results," he said.
"So Mr. Grad King's mad, because doesn't have his Queen, eh?" Serena teased, not sure why he wanted to talk about the contest.
"Well, Ms. Valedictorian, that 'blank' slip of paper you were holding didn't look 'blank' from where I was standing," he said in that 'I know you're hiding something, so you might as well spill it' voice.
"Where were you standing?" Serena asked, more concerned about him reading what was on it than him finding out she was lying.
"Close enough to read what was on it," Darien answered, knowing full well what she was thinking. "Serena, why didn't you read it?"
"I told everyone I knew who it was when I didn't. And for god sakes, I'm the emcee!" Serena said.
"Can I see the paper?" he asked, holding out his hand.
"I thought you already knew who it was?"
"I do. But it's just not the same when you read it over someone's shoulder."
Serena sighed in defeat. There was no point arguing when he had a point. Handing him the white piece of paper, she looked away. She didn't know why, but she felt better looking at something 'other' than Darien at the moment.
After taking the card from Serena, he turned it over to its blank side. He wouldn't read it just yet. Even though he knew what was on it, he waited for Serena to say something else on her own behalf.
But seeing that she wasn't going to turn her head around anytime soon, he flipped it over. And he smiled. He didn't know why. But he did.
On the center of the card, neatly typed out, was probably the only name that'll ever be worth remembering.
* * * * *
Serena Terrin.
* * * * *
"You know, even if you 'did' drop out of the voting, which you did, there were still a lot of people who put in a vote for you," Darien said, handing the paper back to her.
Serena took it from him, and then without thinking, tore it in half. Still not satisfied, she ripped it in half again . . . and again. . . and again. She then let the pieces flutter to the ground. "I shouldn't be littering but that's alright," she said to herself. Then lifting her eyes to look at Darien, she felt somewhat uneasy.
Like she was under water, out of air supply. . . .
"Darien, tell me the truth. What's going to happen?" she asked. But it didn't seem like her voice. The tone she would use. Or the question she would ask. She just couldn't think at the moment.
She would either know now, or never.
Hell, she didn't even know what she had to know! She just felt frustrated for no reason at all. It's like she 'should' be able to figure out what was going on, but couldn't. Nothing was making any sense. . . . "Darien!"
Serena wanted to rip out her own hair at the moment.
"Just tell me."
"No."
It was a firm answer. He wouldn't change his mind, but. . . . Oh why did he have to be so . . . so . . . stubborn! "See?! You even admitted yourself! You're keeping something from me and I want to know what it is!"
Darien turned around so Serena was facing his back. "There's nothing I'm not telling you." His fists were clenched to keep from saying anything else. He could lie to her now, but not forever.
Serena wanted to be anything but mad right now. But some thing's you just can't control. "And even now, you're STILL not telling me the truth! What's gotten into you lately? If you're bored with me already, at least I have the right to know! Hurting me should be the least of your worries! Whatever you have to say, just say it!"
Her breathing was shallow now. She wanted to cough from the lack of air, but swallowed it. It was like everything was drained from her just then. Serena could sense that Darien knew she was watching him. "If you're trying to protect me from something, you're not doing a very good job," she said in a much calmer state than before.
But for once, her voice was completely emotionless. Unlike before, when she felt a mix of everything at once . . . she felt nothing now.
Darien heard the stillness in her voice. It sounded so dull, so lifeless. "Serena, I---"
"You what? You can't tell me? Is that it? Another one of those goddamned rules of yours?" she interrupted, already regretting what she said before. "It's got something to do with that rose of yours, doesn't it? Who's it from? Your long lost fiancée?" Serena knew she shouldn't have said that, but the words came tumbling out before she could stop them.
Darien closed his eyes, his teeth gritted together. His senses were battling one another, struggling against each other as he consumed Serena's words. But there would be more to come.
Much more. Telling her would only make it worse. She wouldn't understand. He couldn't bear to hear the accusation and loathing in her voice.
Couldn't bear the guilt.
* * *
Serena, seeing that Darien was making no endeavor to answer her, she stalked toward him, her eyes not leaving his tall form. She made it so he was facing her again.
But Darien, head tilted slightly to the side, refused to look her in the eye. Hell, his eyes weren't even open!
Serena could feel the blood in her veins starting to burn. "Dammit! Look at me!" she commanded.
But Darien remained still.
Even through the dark, she could tell his knuckles were white. What was his trying to do? Fight her off? "Before, it was lying to me, then it was ignoring me, now it's disgusted with me! Never knew you could change so fast, or was it all just an act from the beginning?"
Serena saw him flinch. So she hit a nerve. . . .
Darien had kept his eyes closed so Serena wouldn't be able to see what he felt through them, but his breathing was uneven now. His pulse pumped in his veins, as he restrained himself from lashing out at something.
He had promised himself never to let Serena find out, but what person would be stupid enough to make a promise they couldn't keep? "Fine," he said. It was more out of defeat than rage.
Opening his eyes, he faced Serena, as the crystal dome materialized between the two of them. "See that rose? It's something you humans would call a deadline. When that last petal falls, I get sent back to where I belong. Understand that now? I'll be gone. Away from you." He paused after the last word. He hadn't meant to make the words sound so heartless.
But to Serena, it was just another lie. So this is what it was all about. He was going to leave her. The line of emotions came flooding back to her as the words sunk in.
He was leaving her.
She didn't know what she was feeling at the moment. But it wasn't good. Looking into Darien's gaze, she wasn't sure what she saw either. Was it sorry or pity? Maybe what she said was true then. . . . "So was this all planned, Darien?" she asked, surprised how soft her voice was.
Serena might not have heard it, but Darien did. The accusation.
The one thing he didn't want to hear, he thought as the guilt started wrenching through him. Seeing the look on Serena's face was enough to make him feel enough remorse for another lifetime. "Serena. . . ."
He wanted to comfort her. Tell her it was all a misunderstanding. That he would stay with her until the end of eternity. But there were only two words that echoed out of him. "I'm sorry."
The anguish in Serena's eyes told him enough that they were the wrong words. He saw her lips start to quiver as she choked out a harsh laugh. "So this is what I get, huh Darien? For believing you. For trusting you. For loving you. This is what I get."
She nodded to herself, as if to confirm her reasoning. "Is this what you always do? Come down to Earth, make all the girls fall in love with you, then leave? Are you even an angel? You sure you're not the devil in disguise? Do the stars even 'begin' to match how many hearts you've broken? You knew you were going to leave, but you didn't tell me. Does it satisfy you to see me suffer like the pathetic human you think I am?"
Her voice was accusing, and hurt. But she paused, as it altered to the fury she once felt. "Now I know why they say love is blind. Because it is. You lied to me Darien. You lied! You know what my biggest mistake in life was? Meeting you! Come to think of it, I wish I never met you. Never! Since you want to leave so bad, why don't you?! The sooner the better! Just leave! I don't ever want to see you EVER again! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" she screamed at him.
"So why are you crying then?" he asked softly, almost out of sadness, as he pointed out the tears that streamed down her cheeks.
Serena could already taste the salt in her mouth, but refused for him to be right again. She took a few steps back, covering her hands over her ears, shaking her head furiously. "I'm not! I'm not! I'm not! I'm NOT!" she cried over and over again.
But even as she said it, the large, crystalline tears slid out of her eyes uncontrollably. Running hot streaks down her cheeks. She tried to stop, as she leaned herself against a tree, but the tears wouldn't stop, coming one after another, a few clinging to her eyelashes but would eventually drop down her face.
"I'm not. I'm not. I'm not!" she repeated over again, but this time, it came out in sobs. The tree supported her weight, as she sunk down, her hands over her face now. Since the tears wouldn't stop, she might as well just cry her eyes out. The sobs racked her body, as the salted tears ran over her fingers.
Darien felt so helpless as he watched Serena. The burden in his chest tightened as his heart twisted inside him. Oh, why did she have to cry? The unbearable guilt tore at him as each second passed. He was about to walk toward her, when something caught his eye.
The petal on the rose was . . . trembling? The dome didn't seem to be moving, so why was the. . . .
The shimmering red started to slowly fade. The glittering glow was still there, but faint. It wasn't just trembling now, it was wavering. . . .
'Oh no. Please. Not now. Just don't---' Darien's breath caught as the petal fluttered loose, and drifted off its stem.
Drifted until it just . . . disappeared.
'---fall.'
**********
"Goodbye Serena," he whispered.
The dome had disappeared along with the last petal. Disintegrating in thin air.
Serena looked up at Darien's voice. She was confused. First it was 'I'm sorry', now it was 'Goodbye'.
Then she realized that rose was gone.
When she connected the found fact, and the look on Darien's face, the tears stopped. It couldn't be . . . could it?
Serena quickly got up, and scrambled to where Darien was standing. She already had her answer, but she didn't want it.
Throwing her arms around his waist, she started crying into his shirt. "Oh please don't go. Darien, don't go. I didn't mean what I said. I really didn't. Just don't go. Don't go. I love you. I do. Just stay. Please stay. I'll do anything. Just don't go."
She was begging, her pride wasn't going to get in the way of this. She knew she was rambling, but she didn't care. The only thing she wanted right now was Darien.
The anguish was straining both of them now. Darien slowly put his arms around Serena. Willing her not to cry. But his soothing words did nothing to help the tears. "Oh Serena, don't cry. Please. Everything's going to be okay. I---"
But she just kept sobbing out apologies.
Darien felt himself being pulled away, as a tear slid down his own face. Nothing he said now would matter anymore. But he managed out three words before he was completely engulfed into nothingness.
"I love you."
When Serena heard the words, she only cried harder. But as her senses cleared up, she found herself in a deserted park . . . hugging herself.
She collapsed onto her knees, as more tears came tumbling out. "No . . . no . . . no . . . NO!" she kept whispering to herself. Everything was over. Completely over. But the realization only struck when no more tears would come.
Darien was gone.
*************************************
To be continued....
So what do you think??? Don't worry, there's still one more chapter. Please tell me what you think though!
Seeya in Chapter 11
And Thanx again!
Chapter: 10
Author: Ashlee Angel
Email: ashlee_c69@hotmail.com
Disclaimer - Sailor Moon belongs to Naoko Takeuchi..... And frankly, I'm not Naoko Takeuchi
*.:.*.:.*.:.*.:.* Chapter 10 *.:.*.:.*.:.*.:.*
* Recap *
'Don't say it Darien . . . don't say it . . . whatever you do, don't say it. . . . ' Serena thought, her hopes dropping when she saw the smile fade from Darien's face.
"Serena . . . we need to talk."
. . .
Serena let his words sink in, then closed her eyes and heaved out a huge sigh of relief, stretching the silence.
"You seem . . . relieved?" Darien asked, a bit puzzled by her reaction.
"I am. I was thinking you'd say something along the lines of 'I don't love you anymore'," she said, not afraid to tell him what she thought.
Darien seemed surprised by her answer. If he had been expecting anything at all, it wouldn't have been this. He knew he had been acting different lately, but not enough for Serena to think that he didn't love her anymore. "You think I don't love you anymore?" he asked quietly.
"Well, you're so distant sometimes. All you ever do is stare at that rose of yours and just drift off into God knows where. . . . For all I know, you could be thinking about some other girl you liked," she said, turning her head so she wouldn't have to talk into Darien's gaze. There was no way she would be able to say what she felt when he looked at her like 'that'.
But Darien did something Serena had definitely 'not' thought he'd do. . . . He laughed. Then seeing the baffled expression on Serena's face, he pulled her into a hug.
Now Serena was beyond the point of confused. "Darien . . . are you okay?" she asked warily, putting a hand on his forehead, just incase he was running a fever.
He smiled, putting his hand over hers. Then bringing it down to his lips, he kissed the palm of her hand. "I'm fine." Then giving her a softer version of his half smile, "But you're not. You've had a hard day, so get some rest. I don't think the Prom emcee would want bags under her eyes. And just for tonight, I want you to relax and get some more sleep, alright? You deserve it."
Serena, too tired to argue, just nodded sleepily, before letting her head rest on Darien's shoulder.
*********************************
Finally seeing the distress leave Serena's fatigued form, Darien stood up, and carried the exhausted blonde to bed. Whatever he had to tell her would just have to wait. . . . For all he knew, she was probably already asleep. And even if she wasn't, he couldn't tell her.
Not now anyway.
Not when Serena thought he didn't love her anymore. It would just add to her doubts. He'd just have to tell her some other time . . . if there's going to even be another time. . . .
As much as Darien wanted to let Serena sleep in his arms, he settled her down in bed. Then kneeling down beside her, he watched her eyes open slightly.
"Darien? Do you know what it says on the inside of your ring?" she asked out of nowhere.
Darien looked down Serena, then at the ring she gave him for Christmas, twisting the band around his finger with his thumb. "If I remember correctly, you told me our names were engraved in it. Is it not?" he asked, not questioning why she brought it up.
"There's something else, too. Except it's very small. I sort of forgot to tell you before, so yeah," Serena said, closing her eyes again. "That's all," she added.
Darien stared at Serena for a moment or two. She could be a mystery when she wanted to. "Alright, night Sunshine," he said, leaning over, and giving her a quick kiss. "And remember, I love you, and only you," he reassured her.
Serena smiled halfheartedly. She believed him, but nothing lasts forever. . . . "Night Darien," she said, before she felt a rush of cold air course past her.
Peeking open one eye, she gazed upon an empty room. Shaking her head slightly, she let her eyelid flutter shut. 'Couldn't he just used the door?'
************************************
* On the roof *
The night was clear. Not a cloud in the sky. Darien sat on the edge of the roof, above Serena's room, staring at the star speckled horizon. It was like gazing into dark infinity. Quite amazing what the skies can actually tell you.
But today . . . they said nothing.
Darien sighed, letting out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding. He should've told her . . . but he didn't. He couldn't. The only problem was that he might not get another chance . . . ever. 'Let's just hope I get a chance to explain,' he thought, as the rose materialized in front of him.
He wanted so much to curse it, to make it go away, to never see it again. But most of all . . . he wanted that last petal to stay.
That last petal. . . .
Even though it could drift down at any given moment, it still held a magic that no color of red could begin to describe. Something that reminded him of the red that lay on his finger.
Looking at the ring now, he remembered what Serena had said. Slipping the gemmed band off his finger, he held it up to the light of the rose. Around the inside of the ring, it read 'Serena T. & Darien S.'
Then turning the ring on a different angle, he spotted a few words along the bottom, near the rim. From the looks of it, those words were made to be on the ring, and not engraved in at a later time.
And like Serena said, they 'were' quite small, but significantly clear at the same time. Almost as if the words had just been etched in.
Now the words themselves.....
Quite something....
* * * * * *
To love someone is nothing. To be loved is something. To be loved by the one you love is everything.
* * * * * *
Yeah . . . definitely something. . . .
Wonder why they would carve it on a ring, of all things. 'This makes so much sense that I don't get it. . . . ' he thought ironically. At least his life still had everything. . . .
Notice the past tense of that. He just hoped that nothing would happen until after he got a chance to say good-bye. Whether he liked it or not, his life was going to go back to stage number one:
Nothing.
***********************************************
* Prom Night *
Serena sat on the roof of her school staring up at the night sky. Actually, she wasn't really sitting, she didn't want to ruin her dress. The light blue, almost white satin hung loosely from two thin cut straps, accenting whichever way she moved. It was simple enough, but quite elegant.
Suitable for the prom emcee.
Her hair was much too long to put up, so she kept it down in curls (with a little help from Mina). And it wasn't half bad looking either.
It was 8:15pm. Still some time left before everyone started arriving.
Her, Mina, and the entire committee had to come early to do some last minute preparations. And since Darien and Andrew were their dates, they came along as well.
Serena had spent the last half hour making sure everything was done, and nothing was missing from her program. Now that everything had been checked and double checked, they could finally relax before the night started.
Which brings Serena to the roof, where she had a perfect view of the back of the school, where everyone would be arriving. Unlike most schools in the area, their school had a special area for dances, parties, ceremonies, or whatever. But the area was reserved for seniors.
Ever since Serena had been in kindergarten, she had always wondered what it was like in there. She had thought that maybe there was some sort of hidden treasure in there that only graduation students could see. Though like many other things, she was wrong.
But tonight's the night. Whatever's going to happen, good or bad, would happen tonight. . . .
'Let's just hope my luck favors the good side,' she thought, as she continued to gaze upon the night sky. It was pretty out tonight. No different from any other night, but still pretty. The stars were already out. And soon, she'd be able to locate the constellations. Find the star that she would just stare at whenever she had any spare time. The star Darien gave her was out there somewhere. . . .
Somewhere. . . .
It's funny how the color kept reminding her of Darien. Or actually his eyes. The same flame of blue flared in them. . . . It almost as if the star was part of him. You'd be able to tell his every feeling and emotion just by looking at the star. When he was happy, the star would shine brighter. When angry, it would throw bolts of flame into its orbit. When melancholy, it was just still, silent, and duller somehow.
Or maybe, it was just her imagination.
But the sky was still an amazing site, no matter what. The blacks, the blues, the whites. . . .
Just then, a blur of red twirled in front of her. She blinked. Red?
Serena focused out of the darkness and into the scarlet blur in front of her. She smiled. A rose. "Hey Darien," she said, taking the rose from his outstretched hand.
"Hey Sunshine, thought you'd know it was me," he stepping up beside her, casually slinging an arm over her shoulder.
"Mmmhmm . . . I don't know how you can be so at ease in a tux."
"Am I? It's not very comfortable," Darien said, pulling lightly at his collar.
Serena gave him a look before answering. "It's not supposed to be . . . So what're you doing up here?" she asked, leaning her head on his shoulder, looking back up at the stars.
"I could ask you the same thing."
"I was just looking for the star you gave me. I don't know why, but it reminds me so much of you."
"That's because it 'is' me," he said, looking up at the night sky.
"Care to elaborate on that? I don't get it."
"Humans have hearts. Angels have stars," he said simply.
Serena frowned slightly. "But you have a heart. I've heard it beating before."
"Of course, but if it stopped beating---which it won't, I'd still be alive. But as soon as that star burns out, I'm gone," Darien said, remembering something else that could cause him to be 'gone'.
Maybe he should tell her . . . she deserves to know. But there were too many what if's. He didn't want to ruin the night for her. Just hope that God would let him stay one more night.
Just one more night. . . .
**************************
* Three hours later *
The night had been something along the lines of interesting. There was still an hour left, but Serena's throat was already a bit sore from the announcing. Though she had fun . . . almost.
Something kept bothering her, she just didn't know what.
There was just that really bad feeling at the pit of her stomach. And Darien. . . . She wasn't complaining for anything, he was the perfect date . . . and the perfect actor. Something was troubling him too, but Serena had a feeling that unlike her, he wasn't clueless as to what it was.
And he was keeping it from her. Almost protecting her from it, but she wasn't completely stupid. Serena could see through the act, though Darien would never know that. The worry was evident in his eyes. But what was there to worry about?
She never even got a chance to talk to him about it. And the Grad King and Queen were going to be announced in . . . five minutes.
Too bad she dropped out of the voting, but she didn't want to be the Grad Queen anyway. She didn't really want anything at the moment.
Or so she didn't think.
***********************
Serena waited for everyone to quiet down as she stood on stage, behind the glass podium, with the results in hand. Raye looked from the resonant crowd, back to the stage where Serena stood patiently, waiting for everyone to quiet down.
Since she was closest to the stage, she might as well do something about. Walking up to the stage, she leaned into the microphone in front of Serena.
"I suggest you all shut up if you want to know who the King and Queen are!" Raye's voice blared in the speakers, causing everyone to turn their attention to the stage.
"Thanks Raye," Serena said, giving her a grateful look.
"No prob, you knock 'em dead girl," Raye winked, before going back to the audience, followed by Serena's laugh.
"Okay, now that you've all 'finally' quieted down, I can do my announcing. I'm sure you all know 'what' I'm going to announce. . . ." Serena started. "You know what the best part about being the emcee is? I get to brag about knowing the results beforehand. But I won't. Though before I open these two envelopes, how 'bout taking a guess at who the winners are? Will it be Mina? Ken? Trish? Beryl? Andrew? Raye? Darien? Alan? Katie? Ryan? Michelle?" Serena asked, as shouts from the audience could be heard after each name.
There were too many voices shouting at once, it was hard to distinguish them. "Alright, alright. I get the point." She didn't, but it would shut them up.
"Now, should I announce the King first, or the Queen? . . . . I'll do the King," Serena said, picking out one of the gold envelopes.
"Okay, Mr. Hall's making me say some stuff about the nominations, so you'll have to wait a bit longer. Now, what was I supposed to say again? Oh right, the Grad King and Queen nominations are for the people who have showed outstanding performances throughout the year or years in athletics, academics, leadership, and etc. The person with the most social ability doesn't necessarily get this award. We hope you made a honest vote, by only voting once, and this isn't a popularity contest, but you made the decision, so if you were all wise enough---"
Serena stopped in mid sentence. She rolled her eyes. She could practically hear the snoring in the audience. "Okay, I'll cut the crap and get to the point, but this better not get to Mr. Hall," she warned as she opened the envelope and took out a white slip of paper, holding it between her index and middle fingers.
She looked at the neatly cut piece of paper, then back to the audience. "And your 2003 Grad King is. . . ."
Serena heard the band strike up the drum roll, but she didn't read the name yet. Besides, she already knew who it was.
As everyone eagerly awaited for her to finish the sentence, one corner of her mouth crept up into an almost amused smile as she looked back down at the results.
Just reading the name alone sent warm tingles up her arm. Butterflies fluttered about in her stomach as her features relaxed. Serena momentarily licked her lips before slowly leaning down to the mike.
"Darien Shields."
She was barely able to finish when the entire audience started screaming. Well, primarily the girls.
Some of the guys started pushing Darien up to the stage because he wasn't walking fast enough. Or maybe because he was making no attempt to get on stage by himself.
After getting on stage, he looked at the audience almost sheepishly. Then stepping behind the podium, he gave an amazed, but slightly nervous laugh.
"Well . . . umm . . . I umm . . . guess I wasn't expecting it, but umm . . . I guess I should say thank you?" He glanced at Serena before continuing. "Though I think I should get to see who my queen is, don't you think?" he asked, before stepping back from the podium.
Serena wanted to laugh. Trust Darien to hand over the attention to someone else. "Alright, since your Grad King has nothing else to say, you'll hear from your Grad Queen. Who I'm sure has plenty to say," Serena said, as she opened the second gold envelope.
Taking out the white piece of paper, she turned to the crowd. "And your 2003 Grad Queen is . . . ."
Serena stopped for the customary drum roll. But her smile disappeared when she took a second look at the slip of paper in her hand. She didn't say anything, not because she knew who it was already, but because she was confused.
Which was quite evident from her features.
"Hmm . . . guess what?" she spoke into the mike. "I don't think you're going to be getting a Queen this year . . . see this slip of paper? It's blank." Serena didn't really know what to say next. Mr. Hall had given her the results, but she never 'did' look at them. She wanted to keep it a surprise for herself, too.
She just said she knew for the fun of it. But she could've sworn that . . . . Either they put in the wrong piece of paper, or the results got mixed somehow.
"Well . . . looks like Darien ain't gonna get his Queen. . . ." Serena said with a shrug.
"You guys keep on dancing or whatever, I'm going to check the results again. Hopefully, you'll get your Queen before midnight," she said, as the deejay started up another song.
*********************
After stepping off the stage, Serena left the building, out to the park beside the school, making sure no one followed her. She wasn't leaving, she just had to think things over.
She might ruin her shoes, but she didn't have anything to change into, so it would just have to do. It was already beyond dark out, but the stars gave off enough light to travel safely. The air was warm, not humid, just warm.
But Serena still shivered slightly. That empty, burdened feeling was back inside her again.
She almost felt panicked in some way. Not to mention the fact that her pulse had clearly increased what seemed like twice its rate. Her heart was beating faster though, she could tell. Nothing seemed to help.
Serena relaxed her muscles, and took a deep breath in. Then out. But it only made the pounding louder. 'I'm going to be okay. It was probably just the air. I'm going to---'
"Hey Sunshine, don't you know it's not safe to be out in the dark by yourself?"
Serena jumped at the voice. The alarms in her senses shrilling through her body. She almost ran, but a hand stopped her.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Darien asked softly.
Turning around, she blew out a huge breath of air, making her cough when she ran out of air. "Nothing, you just scared me, that's all," Serena said, her pulse growing softer, or so she thought. Something was really nagging at her now. She knew it was Darien . . . so why did she want to get away? As weird as it may sound, she just couldn't hear her heart beating anymore through the silence.
"You sure? You're a bit jumpy."
"Yeah, I'm fine," she assured him. "So what're 'ya doing here?"
"I wanted to talk to you about the results," he said.
"So Mr. Grad King's mad, because doesn't have his Queen, eh?" Serena teased, not sure why he wanted to talk about the contest.
"Well, Ms. Valedictorian, that 'blank' slip of paper you were holding didn't look 'blank' from where I was standing," he said in that 'I know you're hiding something, so you might as well spill it' voice.
"Where were you standing?" Serena asked, more concerned about him reading what was on it than him finding out she was lying.
"Close enough to read what was on it," Darien answered, knowing full well what she was thinking. "Serena, why didn't you read it?"
"I told everyone I knew who it was when I didn't. And for god sakes, I'm the emcee!" Serena said.
"Can I see the paper?" he asked, holding out his hand.
"I thought you already knew who it was?"
"I do. But it's just not the same when you read it over someone's shoulder."
Serena sighed in defeat. There was no point arguing when he had a point. Handing him the white piece of paper, she looked away. She didn't know why, but she felt better looking at something 'other' than Darien at the moment.
After taking the card from Serena, he turned it over to its blank side. He wouldn't read it just yet. Even though he knew what was on it, he waited for Serena to say something else on her own behalf.
But seeing that she wasn't going to turn her head around anytime soon, he flipped it over. And he smiled. He didn't know why. But he did.
On the center of the card, neatly typed out, was probably the only name that'll ever be worth remembering.
* * * * *
Serena Terrin.
* * * * *
"You know, even if you 'did' drop out of the voting, which you did, there were still a lot of people who put in a vote for you," Darien said, handing the paper back to her.
Serena took it from him, and then without thinking, tore it in half. Still not satisfied, she ripped it in half again . . . and again. . . and again. She then let the pieces flutter to the ground. "I shouldn't be littering but that's alright," she said to herself. Then lifting her eyes to look at Darien, she felt somewhat uneasy.
Like she was under water, out of air supply. . . .
"Darien, tell me the truth. What's going to happen?" she asked. But it didn't seem like her voice. The tone she would use. Or the question she would ask. She just couldn't think at the moment.
She would either know now, or never.
Hell, she didn't even know what she had to know! She just felt frustrated for no reason at all. It's like she 'should' be able to figure out what was going on, but couldn't. Nothing was making any sense. . . . "Darien!"
Serena wanted to rip out her own hair at the moment.
"Just tell me."
"No."
It was a firm answer. He wouldn't change his mind, but. . . . Oh why did he have to be so . . . so . . . stubborn! "See?! You even admitted yourself! You're keeping something from me and I want to know what it is!"
Darien turned around so Serena was facing his back. "There's nothing I'm not telling you." His fists were clenched to keep from saying anything else. He could lie to her now, but not forever.
Serena wanted to be anything but mad right now. But some thing's you just can't control. "And even now, you're STILL not telling me the truth! What's gotten into you lately? If you're bored with me already, at least I have the right to know! Hurting me should be the least of your worries! Whatever you have to say, just say it!"
Her breathing was shallow now. She wanted to cough from the lack of air, but swallowed it. It was like everything was drained from her just then. Serena could sense that Darien knew she was watching him. "If you're trying to protect me from something, you're not doing a very good job," she said in a much calmer state than before.
But for once, her voice was completely emotionless. Unlike before, when she felt a mix of everything at once . . . she felt nothing now.
Darien heard the stillness in her voice. It sounded so dull, so lifeless. "Serena, I---"
"You what? You can't tell me? Is that it? Another one of those goddamned rules of yours?" she interrupted, already regretting what she said before. "It's got something to do with that rose of yours, doesn't it? Who's it from? Your long lost fiancée?" Serena knew she shouldn't have said that, but the words came tumbling out before she could stop them.
Darien closed his eyes, his teeth gritted together. His senses were battling one another, struggling against each other as he consumed Serena's words. But there would be more to come.
Much more. Telling her would only make it worse. She wouldn't understand. He couldn't bear to hear the accusation and loathing in her voice.
Couldn't bear the guilt.
* * *
Serena, seeing that Darien was making no endeavor to answer her, she stalked toward him, her eyes not leaving his tall form. She made it so he was facing her again.
But Darien, head tilted slightly to the side, refused to look her in the eye. Hell, his eyes weren't even open!
Serena could feel the blood in her veins starting to burn. "Dammit! Look at me!" she commanded.
But Darien remained still.
Even through the dark, she could tell his knuckles were white. What was his trying to do? Fight her off? "Before, it was lying to me, then it was ignoring me, now it's disgusted with me! Never knew you could change so fast, or was it all just an act from the beginning?"
Serena saw him flinch. So she hit a nerve. . . .
Darien had kept his eyes closed so Serena wouldn't be able to see what he felt through them, but his breathing was uneven now. His pulse pumped in his veins, as he restrained himself from lashing out at something.
He had promised himself never to let Serena find out, but what person would be stupid enough to make a promise they couldn't keep? "Fine," he said. It was more out of defeat than rage.
Opening his eyes, he faced Serena, as the crystal dome materialized between the two of them. "See that rose? It's something you humans would call a deadline. When that last petal falls, I get sent back to where I belong. Understand that now? I'll be gone. Away from you." He paused after the last word. He hadn't meant to make the words sound so heartless.
But to Serena, it was just another lie. So this is what it was all about. He was going to leave her. The line of emotions came flooding back to her as the words sunk in.
He was leaving her.
She didn't know what she was feeling at the moment. But it wasn't good. Looking into Darien's gaze, she wasn't sure what she saw either. Was it sorry or pity? Maybe what she said was true then. . . . "So was this all planned, Darien?" she asked, surprised how soft her voice was.
Serena might not have heard it, but Darien did. The accusation.
The one thing he didn't want to hear, he thought as the guilt started wrenching through him. Seeing the look on Serena's face was enough to make him feel enough remorse for another lifetime. "Serena. . . ."
He wanted to comfort her. Tell her it was all a misunderstanding. That he would stay with her until the end of eternity. But there were only two words that echoed out of him. "I'm sorry."
The anguish in Serena's eyes told him enough that they were the wrong words. He saw her lips start to quiver as she choked out a harsh laugh. "So this is what I get, huh Darien? For believing you. For trusting you. For loving you. This is what I get."
She nodded to herself, as if to confirm her reasoning. "Is this what you always do? Come down to Earth, make all the girls fall in love with you, then leave? Are you even an angel? You sure you're not the devil in disguise? Do the stars even 'begin' to match how many hearts you've broken? You knew you were going to leave, but you didn't tell me. Does it satisfy you to see me suffer like the pathetic human you think I am?"
Her voice was accusing, and hurt. But she paused, as it altered to the fury she once felt. "Now I know why they say love is blind. Because it is. You lied to me Darien. You lied! You know what my biggest mistake in life was? Meeting you! Come to think of it, I wish I never met you. Never! Since you want to leave so bad, why don't you?! The sooner the better! Just leave! I don't ever want to see you EVER again! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" she screamed at him.
"So why are you crying then?" he asked softly, almost out of sadness, as he pointed out the tears that streamed down her cheeks.
Serena could already taste the salt in her mouth, but refused for him to be right again. She took a few steps back, covering her hands over her ears, shaking her head furiously. "I'm not! I'm not! I'm not! I'm NOT!" she cried over and over again.
But even as she said it, the large, crystalline tears slid out of her eyes uncontrollably. Running hot streaks down her cheeks. She tried to stop, as she leaned herself against a tree, but the tears wouldn't stop, coming one after another, a few clinging to her eyelashes but would eventually drop down her face.
"I'm not. I'm not. I'm not!" she repeated over again, but this time, it came out in sobs. The tree supported her weight, as she sunk down, her hands over her face now. Since the tears wouldn't stop, she might as well just cry her eyes out. The sobs racked her body, as the salted tears ran over her fingers.
Darien felt so helpless as he watched Serena. The burden in his chest tightened as his heart twisted inside him. Oh, why did she have to cry? The unbearable guilt tore at him as each second passed. He was about to walk toward her, when something caught his eye.
The petal on the rose was . . . trembling? The dome didn't seem to be moving, so why was the. . . .
The shimmering red started to slowly fade. The glittering glow was still there, but faint. It wasn't just trembling now, it was wavering. . . .
'Oh no. Please. Not now. Just don't---' Darien's breath caught as the petal fluttered loose, and drifted off its stem.
Drifted until it just . . . disappeared.
'---fall.'
**********
"Goodbye Serena," he whispered.
The dome had disappeared along with the last petal. Disintegrating in thin air.
Serena looked up at Darien's voice. She was confused. First it was 'I'm sorry', now it was 'Goodbye'.
Then she realized that rose was gone.
When she connected the found fact, and the look on Darien's face, the tears stopped. It couldn't be . . . could it?
Serena quickly got up, and scrambled to where Darien was standing. She already had her answer, but she didn't want it.
Throwing her arms around his waist, she started crying into his shirt. "Oh please don't go. Darien, don't go. I didn't mean what I said. I really didn't. Just don't go. Don't go. I love you. I do. Just stay. Please stay. I'll do anything. Just don't go."
She was begging, her pride wasn't going to get in the way of this. She knew she was rambling, but she didn't care. The only thing she wanted right now was Darien.
The anguish was straining both of them now. Darien slowly put his arms around Serena. Willing her not to cry. But his soothing words did nothing to help the tears. "Oh Serena, don't cry. Please. Everything's going to be okay. I---"
But she just kept sobbing out apologies.
Darien felt himself being pulled away, as a tear slid down his own face. Nothing he said now would matter anymore. But he managed out three words before he was completely engulfed into nothingness.
"I love you."
When Serena heard the words, she only cried harder. But as her senses cleared up, she found herself in a deserted park . . . hugging herself.
She collapsed onto her knees, as more tears came tumbling out. "No . . . no . . . no . . . NO!" she kept whispering to herself. Everything was over. Completely over. But the realization only struck when no more tears would come.
Darien was gone.
*************************************
To be continued....
So what do you think??? Don't worry, there's still one more chapter. Please tell me what you think though!
Seeya in Chapter 11
And Thanx again!