"The Dividing Line"
Chapter Nine: "Freecard"
...tears on the pillow. Rogue felt like there was something in her chest, choking her, keeping her from breathing. She turned to her side, dragging along the pure white sheets, and drew her knees to her chest. She cried, silently, but it wasn't very heartfelt and it vanished quickly, leaving a trail of fresh ground to start from.
Looking through strands of auburn hair, Rogue saw Scott, asleep on a chair, with a book, half-open, on his lap. She recalled that he was in his uniform in the center of her last conscious memory, and now, he was wearing sweats and a hoodie. Rogue guessed that it had been some time between her last then and now. Her eyes immediately darted towards the large patch of gauze plastered onto one cheek, covering it completely. A flash of recollection and she remembered slicing his cheek open with bone claws.
The thought of having hurt him, having actually spilled his blood made her sick. She could still taste it, lingering on her tongue in rich, thick droplets... sugared wine, warm. Delicious. Sick and wrong and despicably attractive.
Rogue felt revulsion towards the idea, and knew that this was somebody else's idea of a good time, somebody else's taste. If she could only feel for who it was that she was in that moment, she could...
Wait.
There was nobody else inside.
Rogue's mind came to a standstill and she found herself feeling naked, exposed. The noise was gone. The congregation of snakes wasn't there anymore. Echoes weren't debating the finer points of Marx's "Capital" or the best types of meat to include in a jambalaya, they weren't screaming out their insecure despair, they weren't moaning their pleasures and begging her to give them more... there was nothing but silence in her head. Silence and herself. Nobody else.
Nobody but the Rogue.
Rogue immediately went to the one thing she needed the most in that moment, but it was, as she had been told, lost. She didn't remember her name.
It was then that Rogue became aware of what she was wearing. It was nothing more than a t-shirt (his, carrying his scent ) and underwear. She found her clothes neatly folded and stacked on top of each other by the bed. Her gaze then traveled around the bed and she found that she, and Scott, were in a glass dome that was in the middle of an otherwise featureless room.
Rogue quietly slid off the bed to get dressed. Her hands had barely gotten hold of the t-shirt she was wearing that she hesitated. What if he woke up while she was still in between clothes..?
She felt a warmth inside of her and found herself smiling. Would it be so bad? He had seen her at her lowest, at her absolute worst. He had seen her, stripped bare before him and he hadn't run away. He had stayed.
His words were still in her head, echoing sweetly. Because I love you.
Rogue took off the t-shirt. It wouldn't be so bad, she thought. He had seen what was inside her.
And he had never been afraid of her skin.
Once dressed in the same jeans-tee-and-sweater combo, Rogue slipped on her gloves. She was dying to touch him, aching to have him in her head again, but not when he was wounded, not after she had wounded him. She hadn't the right.
So instead, she did the next best thing. She ran a gloved hand through his hair, stood next to him and embraced him, her hands resting on his neck. With his head in her bosom, on the sweater, she sighed. Contentment, if she ever knew what it was, must have been something like this, she decided.
"Hmph, whe- wha..?"
Rogue couldn't let him go. Not now. Just a little longer...
One of his hands found her arm and he gently held on, powerless to grip any tighter.
"Welcome back, Rogue." He said, looking up.
She looked down into his ruby quartz eyes and remembered all the times she had thought he was watching her, but he never was and she had known it, but it felt good to pretend, so she had... well, now he actually was watching her.
"Hello." She could manage.
"How're you feeling?"
"Like Ah did a shitload of drugs and then decided to jump into the nearest woodchipper."
Scott chuckled. Again. In two seconds, he was laughing out loud, his shoulders shaking. The book on his lap dropped to the floor as he laughed. Rogue looked down. The Once and Future King.
"Well... for a gal straight out of the woodchipper, you're alright." He said, "Looks like you made out okay."
"Thanks to you."
Rogue sat down onto the bed as Scott stretched and tried to bring himself to a more functional level. She twiddled her thumbs and tried to remember if this was somebody else's habit. There wasn't anything in her head to back that up.
I have so much to learn...
She looked at Scott, who was in the process of trying to locate which page he was on last, so that he could dog-ear it. She smiled. If there was one thing she didn't have to learn again, it was him.
"How long was Ah out?" Rogue asked.
"Four days." Scott said, setting down the book. He ran a hand through his hair, "Everybody's laying low. Well, that was what we were planning to do, anyway."
"What happened?"
"Well, Emma Frost billed us, for one thing."
Rogue raised an eyebrow.
"Billed us? For what?"
"An even 100,000 for our one month and surplus stay at the Academy. 8,000 for our dorm room. I heard about 10,000 went to the re-decoration of her office... and an amount that the Professor wouldn't tell us will go to..." he chuckled, "...reconstructive surgery."
"Recon..." Rogue's eyes grew wide, "Oh Lord, did Ah... was it bad?"
"She didn't have much of a nose the last time anyone checked." His face grew sullen, "Unfortunately, Kitty's going to need some of that as well."
Rogue hung her head. She remembered it. How her hair had felt in her palm, how satisfying the sound of her nose breaking in had been... Rogue shivered.
"Ah don't have much," she said "Just a little collection'a little somethings in a Chase account. She can have that. If Ah can find 'im, that swamp rat can help, for a cut..."
"Professor Xavier, aside from being a shifty son of a bitch, has a lot of connections, I hear, and one of them is our angel."
"Angel..? Ya mean Warren?"
"Yeah. He's paying for the whole thing, and has the best surgeons money can buy. Kitty's scheduled to go under early next week."
"Ah'm glad..."
"Of course, Alvers showed up five minutes after she was sent to the medical wing, looking for you. He found me instead."
"You didn't... hurt him, did you?"
"Not much... moderately speaking..."
"Scott..!"
"Okay, I broke two teeth and kind of angled his nose to the side. I'm hoping it'll knock him down a notch... or four"
"Anybody else get hurt over this..?"
"Us."
"Us?"
"There were some camera phones... The footage of you going haywire was on the 'net, and it spread and... well, last I heard, the Registration Act is on the fast track to becoming a law."
Rogue hung her head. She clenched her fist. All this, all of this, because she had been weak. Because she had been pathetic. Because-
"It was a matter of time," he said, as if he could read her thoughts, "It's not your fault."
Rogue looked up and her eyes lingered on his cheek. Scott, sensing her focus, turned his head a little for her to completely see. Her hand reached out, but she pulled it back before it was halfway.
"Does it hurt..?" Rogue asked, and immediately regretted the question. Of course it hurt.
"I keep forgetting I have stitches there and I lean on my knuckles. Eating is a bit of a chore. But that's it. I got off light, all things considered..."
"Ah'm so sorry... Ah never wanted, never thought Ah could-"
Scott switched from his chair to the bed, to her side. He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close. She could feel his body, underneath the cloth, and it felt wonderful to be this close... just wonderful. She remembered getting used to this feeling in the hospital, before they had ever seen the Academy of Tomorrow, she remembered hating herself for getting used to it.
"Jean tells me I might have some badass scars. Might help me strip off that pretty-boy tag everybody's so eager to slap onto me."
Rogue couldn't help but laugh a little. He smiled.
"Now, there's a sound we should hear more often." He said.
They sat there in silence, enjoying each other's closeness. Rogue hadn't touched his skin yet, but it wasn't because she was deliberately putting it off – she just didn't feel a need to. There had been days when she would have given anything at all just for one touch, one kiss, one word of love and now, she felt like she had been given all those days in one sitting. Listening to his heart beat, knowing that his mind, now awake, was working overtime prompted her to speak.
"Ah love you." She said, "And Ah can tell you all the reasons why, but all the reasons in the world ain't enough to tell you why."
"And I love you, but I only have two reasons. One of them is me. Despite me, anyway."
"What's the other one?"
"You."
Rogue reached for his uninjured cheek, and her fingers gently pulled on the back of his neck. Their lips met and Scott felt Rogue sigh and relax. The kiss lingered, sending a rush of thoughts, emotions, memories, fears, hopes and dreams through his lips, and she held onto the moment for as long as she could without hurting him.
He gave his lips. They weren't taken. They weren't stolen. They were given, his lips and everything else he could offer with them.
When she withdrew, leaving him breathless, she found the taste of him lingering. She enjoyed it. She put one hand on her chest and felt her heart pounding.
"...but we can't stay encased in this glass dome forever." He said.
"Just a little longer."
"Whatever the lady wants."
"Ain't you a gentleman."
"I try."
The arbitrary duration of a little longer lasted about ten minutes in base reality. In the end, Rogue was too wired up on the prospect of what could be waiting for her outside of the confines of this room and too... happy, if that made sense at all, from having him by her side to waste it sitting in a glass dome.
For his part, Scott was tired. He hadn't seen a real bed in days, the vigil he had held, always pregnant with concerns and questions but never able to carry either into full term, had worn him out. Further, there was the flip side of everything to consider – namely, their next step. In his head, Logan's voice was insistently repeating: this isn't some dick move you're gonna be able to double-back on.
But they had done what they had done, and he figured that since they couldn't change it, they might as well try to navigate their circumstances.
And doing so required a first step, which Scott took by taking Rogue by the hand and guiding her to the only exit of the room.
Scott and Rogue emerged from the elevator and stepped into the hallway leading to the foyer. They found the foyer empty, and though they could hear the merry sounds of the young mutants in the distance outside, there appeared to be nobody inside the mansion. Unsure of what to do, they wordlessly decided to go upstairs, to the sleeping quarters, maybe to knock on a door or two, say hello. They were halfway up the stairs when Hank McCoy, wearing a white shirt and gray chinos, appeared.
"Ah, so, peace and tranquility returns again." Hank offered.
"Where's that from?" Scott asked.
"Anne Frank. I paraphrased it, though." Hank said with a grin, "Nice to see that you two have returned to the land of the living."
"We just ain't dead is all." Rogue said.
"And isn't it a joy?" Hank said, "I was just coming to check up on you, as per Charles' request, of course. He wants to see you."
"Now?" Scott asked, "We barely-"
"Indulge him. It's the least you can do, isn't it?"
Hank gestured for them to follow and moved. Scott shrugged and looked at Rogue for a response. Rogue responded with the same shrug.
Charles Xavier was wearing a grey suit today, but had no tie. He was waiting for them by the window. Also in the room were Ororo, leaning against the desk with her arms crossed (she was joined by Hank, who put his arm around her waist); Jean, sitting in a guest chair, playing with a strand of her hair; Logan, leaning against a wall, beer in hand and cigar in between teeth; Kurt, wearing a white t-shirt and jeans, but without his image inducer; and finally, Kitty, shuffling her feet. Rogue saw that she had a large patch of gauze plastered onto her face, where her nose should have been. She almost winced at the phantom pain, imagining what it must have been like to have her face smashed in by someone she considered a good friend.
"Well," Scott said, "We're here."
Charles turned his wheelchair and moved forwards.
"I know that you are both still recovering, but I wanted to discuss your futures." Charles said, "Obviously, there is a place for the both of you here, at the Institute, as there always will be."
Scott and Rogue exchanged curious glances.
"I wouldn't even think to close my doors on either one of you." Charles continued, "If you would like to stay, you can. We will, obviously, need some..." his gaze went to Jean for a moment, "...adjustments, but it can be managed."
Seeing that he wasn't willing to go ahead, Rogue took the lead.
"Ah don't trust you." She said, "After what you did to me, Ah can't trust you again. All mah life, all anyone had ever done to me was to use me for somethin-or-other. Ah had believed you were different, that you wouldn't do nothin like that. Ah was wrong. You lied to me, you used me, you hurt me and you made me hurt people Ah actually did care about. And ya didn't just use me, you used all of us. Jean. Jamie. That Rankin kid. Forge. Kurt."
"I had the best of intentions..."
"Ya know what they say about the road to hell."
Charles could only nod.
"But this place was the only thing Ah had that was anywhere near to bein mah home. Ah never had a lot of options anyway, and Ah think Ah can stay here... if only to keep an eye on you."
"I agree." Scott said, "You need to be controlled, you need checks and balances. Someone to scrutinize you. I'm sorry, Professor, but you're too powerful to be allowed to operate uncontrolled."
"Kid's still got a point, Chuck." Logan said.
"Without supervision, you become dangerous." Scott said, "That's what we saw. In light of that, I would stay as well, if only to give something back and to protect you from yourself."
"If you are to stay, then there is also the matter of your position with the X-Men, young Cyclops." Ororo said.
"I don't expect to be the team leader again." Scott said, "Far as I'm concerned, that position belongs to Jean now, and since you are still in one piece, I think she's doing a damn good job."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence." Jean said, "But it was all I could do to keep things together, that's all."
"What'll we do now?" Rogue asked, "Ah mean, what's gonna happen?"
"I think that'll be apparent in a few days." Charles said, "Does that mean you will be staying?"
Rogue nodded.
"For better or worse," Scott said, "We are still X-Men."
After Rogue apologized again and again to a distraught, but somewhat forgiving Kitty, she and Scott exited Charles' office. They stopped a few steps from the door and stared at each other.
"So... what just happened, again?" Rogue asked.
"I think we're back where we started."
"God..."
"We can still run. Make a break for it and-"
"Ah'm tired of running. Aren't you?"
"I am... I'm tired of seeing every place as a temporary home. Maybe it is time to settle down for a while. Just for a while."
"But we ain't back where we started." Rogue took his hand and kissed it, "We're worlds away. Galaxies. We got this far..."
"Then where we are is where we'll stay."