Ed and his brothers were laughing their asses off with Nicholas for one reason.

Perenelle had taken one look at Sirius Black's form and immediately went into mother hen mode. There was no escape. This included giving him a much needed hair cut and shave. And the most mortifying bit of all (which had all four bursting into peals of laughter all over again) measurements for new clothes. Perenelle had to stun him twice just to get him to stop squirming.

They had taken Sirius to the Flamel cottage in order to prepare him for his trial. After Ed bribed the twins with funds to help them start their joke business (which if they could get it off the ground Harry would supply all the money they would need in exchange for partial ownership) and they retrieved Scabbers for him. The rat knew he was doomed because Ed had taken several precautions like an unbreakable cage and a few obscure spells that made it impossible for him to transform until Ed took him out.

Scabbers found out the hard way Ed's right hand was made of metal, and that squirming was absolutely pointless since the hand wouldn't loose it's grip on his thinning body.

Sirius just gave them a betrayed look, though even he had to admit, this would be hilarious had he not been on the receiving end of the treatment.

Perenelle then found out that he had lice...and soon he was trying his damnedest to get out of her range before she used a particularly irritating charm to get rid of them. It wasn't painful, it just stung really badly for a few hours.

Ed, Al and Harry sat on one side of the courtroom while Sirius sat between Nicholas and his lawyer. In Ed's hands was the cage that held Pettigrew. He didn't trust one of those 'former' Death Eaters to not try and free the rat just to condemn Sirius.

This proved to be a wise move with the way Dumbledore shot the rats odd looks.

Finally, Fudge demanded that if Sirius wasn't the one who betrayed the Potters, then they would have to provide the real culprit now or have the man Kissed where he sat.

Ed stood triumphantly, and brought out a squirming Scabbers. He looked for the one called Madam Bones, who happened to be the aunt of a very nice Hufflepuff named Susan. Finally he spotted a woman with a monocle and asked politely if she could cast the animagus revealing spell on the rat he had.

She raised an eyebrow at the request, but did so since he was polite about it.

Her eyebrows shot up in surprise, before she cast the spell that would force an animagi to revert back to human. There, in all his misshapen glory, was Peter Pettigrew.

Chaos reigned in the court room...right up until the point Ed used the full body bind on the formerly dead wizard to keep him from trying to escape.

It was only removed once Pettigrew had been chained firmly and his wand taken. Several aurors followed Ed's example and kept their wands leveled and ready to cast at the first hint of an escape. The room was sealed, so he couldn't get out that way either.

Another auror came up with a vial of veritaserum, and carefully poured three drops down Peter's throat.

"What is your name?" asked Madam Bones.

"Peter Pettigrew."

"Why did you fake your death?"

"I knew if I showed myself Sirius or Remus would kill me."

"Were you the Potter's Secret Keeper?"

"Yes."

"Did you betray them to You-Know-Who?"

"Yes."

"Were you confunded?" demanded Fudge.

"No."

Ed decided to hurry this along. He used a trick he picked up during his attempts to speak another language...he threw his voice to somewhere over Madam Bones' left shoulder to make it seem like she asked the question.

"Are you a Death Eater?"

"Yes."

The uproar from that was headache inducing. Madam Bones shot Ed an approving look, knowing he was the one who did that.

"On which arm does the Dark Mark rest?" asked Bones.

"On my left arm."

One of the aurors moved slowly towards the bound man and lifted his left sleeve up. There, for all the world to see, was a clear Dark Mark. While it was faded like many Death Eaters since Voldemort wasn't active, it was still clear enough to be identified, and only Death Eaters loyal to the Dark Lord would dare to have one on their person. Otherwise they were just asking to be killed.

Fudge attempted to salvage this.

"Were you imperioused to take the mark?" he asked desperately. If not, then they would have to take back the Order of Merlin, which was a headache and a half with the paperwork alone.

"No. I took the mark willingly. I was tired of being overlooked for my friends."

Sirius looked upset about that, but after what Peter did he still wanted to kill him.

Madam Bones broke through the noise.

"Enough! All in favor of clearing Black?" she roared.

The vote was almost unanimous. Only a few people didn't raise their hands, notably Fudge, Crouch, Umbridge (a pink toad like woman who Ed hated on sight) and a few Death Eaters who had gotten out by claiming Imperious.

"In that case, it seems we owe you a great deal of apology Black. Had the proper procedure been followed sooner, we would have known your innocence beforehand and a traitor would have been spending all those years rightfully behind bars where he belongs."

In the end, Sirius didn't even get into trouble for his animagi form, since he spent twelve years behind bars and the max for an illegal animagi was six months. The Ministry had to pay him 100,000 galleons for false imprisonment for each six months he spent there. And like Ed promised, a tenth of that went to the goblin clans for helping him.

Sirius was in a constant state of open mouthed shock and disbelief. Hearing about the other half of the barrier and the fact Ed was an alchemist before he was a wizard had come as a bit of a shock.

Seeing what he could do simply by clapping his hands actually made the man faint.

Because of the fact Sirius was still in need of recovery from Azkaban, Nicholas told the boys that the former prisoner was going to be staying with Perenelle until she deemed him fit again.

Sirius had shot them a betrayed look when the four had to hold back peals of snickers at his expense. He could take consolation that at least Perenelle was better than dealing with Molly Weasley.

While Molly was a wonderful woman, her voice left much to be desired and her mother hen mode was a nightmare to deal with. At least Perenelle would treat him like he could tie his own shoes, thank you very much!

Still, at least the boys would have an escort in Amestris, even if Sirius would prefer to watch as a dog. Little Gracia, the daughter of the man who had let them stay during their last trip, would probably fall in love with the hound. She had been born during the winter holidays, and funnily enough right on the same day as Ed's birthday.

Ed was cussing up a storm when he learned Fudge refused to remove the dementors, even after Sirius was proved innocent. Rumor had it the man was buried in the paperwork the trial had caused.

In any event, Ed and his brothers had become rather trigger happy with the patronus charm whenever he was outside. The other students appreciated it greatly, since the dementors had shown a real interest in Ed and the others. Whenever they went outside, the monsters would come out of the woodwork and try to eat them.

At least Sirius had gotten Ed a book on magic that he knew would interest him, Al had gotten a book on healing, and Harry got the new Firebolt he had been eyeballing.

Finally, two months after Sirius was declared a free man, Ed had enough.

Ed, Al, and Harry walked outside, took out their wands, and began casting patronus charms like crazy. A massive stag, a large cat with wings, and a panther came out. The dementors screeched as they tried in vain to get past the silvery animals.

Harry and Ed took them on together, with Al's nearly solid cat backing them up, keeping any dementors from coming too close. The students cheered the three on as they sent the dementors away. Harry even got some alchemy practice in, frying any that came too close with his lightning gloves on.

Sirius walked alongside the boys, who were once again riding the train. Harry was given the 'leash' by din of fact that it was his godfather escorting them. Ed had decided to give Sirius a chance to get used to the other side by taking him to a small mining town.

In exchange for letting them use his library pass in Central, Mustang had them help out with assignments. Since they were mostly inane tasks that any alchemist could do, Mustang got away with it.

As such, even though Ed, Harry and Al weren't a part of the military, they were labeled as Contract Alchemists.

Apparently this was how the Military dealt with people who tried and failed to impress the judges in the Alchemist Exam. They got paid on a case by case basis, and the better they did, the better the chance they had at making the rank next time around.

Ed had decided to be a Contract Alchemist because it was a paying job that had a few select benefits like limited access to the State Controlled Library and some health care, but wouldn't label him a Dog of the Military.

Ed knew full well it was a State Alchemist who killed Winry's parents in the Ishbal War. He refused to work with a group that could and did order Alchemists to use their power to kill innocents.

In another life, Ed would have been forced to become one in order to restore his brother. However, he was just glad that for once, their tiny family was happy and together again.

Sirius had taken an interest in auto-mail, if only because it was just so...muggle. He was particularly interested in seeing if his Runes Mastery could be used to augment it without the thing blowing up.

Ed had offered to be his first test subject, since he was used to putting his auto-mail through a more rigorous series of trials than most did.

The mission Ed was being sent on this time was a simple one. He had to examine the mines of Youswell for Mustang in exchange for a few hard to get tomes on alchemy.

Finding out that yes, Harry was in fact Mustang's cousin had set the entire base in a tizzy. At least it shut up those silly rumors the man was his father.

Plus it was a relatively safe place to introduce alchemy to Sirius. Apparently his lack of interest before was because he heard that you needed to know potions rather well, which he had dim view of because of Snape.

Snape, in turn, was not a big fan though he did like Edward, Alphonse and Harry well enough not to bother them during class. Particularly Alphonse, who always paired up with Neville after the first disastrous class to keep the boy from ruining too many potions.

"So what are we supposed to be doing out in Youswell?" asked Alphonse.

"Mine Inspection...though I heard some odd rumors about the guy running the place," said Ed, looking over the paper Mustang handed him.

"What rumors?"

"Something about how most of the Inns and Bars had been closed down due to taxes, which makes absolutely no sense, because bars should be the one place miners go to relax after work. I think this guy is abusing his position."

"What do we do?" asked Harry.

"I say we prank the bastard," said Ed grinning. Sirius barked in approval.

Ed, Al, Harry and Sirius' jaws dropped when they heard the price for one night at the Inn. Apparently the rumors about the inns and bars closing hadn't been rumors at all. Yoki was draining the town dry for bribe money.

Ed and Harry got kicked out when they learned they were there on inspection, while Al and Sirius managed to stay in the Inn. It helped that Al and Sirius didn't look related to Ed and Harry at all. Al snuck them food later.

Ed and Harry were in an extravagant mansion that definitely didn't fit Youswell. Ed wasn't the least bit impressed with the bribe, and neither was Harry. Instead, Ed created more gold and bargained with the greedy Yoki for the Youswell deed.

Yoki didn't think twice. Too bad for him it was a temporary illusion charm on bricks of coal. Only a few bricks were actually gold. Ed wasn't the only one snickering when the miners beat the living crap out of Yoki.

Sirius transformed into his human form.

"So it is like this all the time?" he asked, since he had changed back in an alley so no one would notice.

"Nah, though this is very similar to what we had to do back at Hogwarts," said Alphonse.

"Don't I know it. I swear that place should be labeled a death trap and not a school," said Harry.

Sirius barked with laughter, as he joined in on the festivities. The miners weren't about to ask where he had come from since he was clearly friends with Ed and Harry.

"So let me get this straight. This is your godfather who has the ability to change between human and a large dog. And he is your official escort whenever your school is off for the summer?" said Mustang, eyebrow twitching.

"Yup. Coincidentally the goblins want to speak to you about the fact that you haven't come in yet. Apparently since you are part of my family you get a small vault full of gold to use."

"How small?" asked Mustang. Claiming a lost inheritance sounded more interesting than doing paperwork all week.

"According to my account manager, roughly 10,000 gold coins, which look like this," said Harry, pulling out a galleon. The Potters were very well off.

"Mind if I join you when you head back?" asked Mustang.

"Not at all!" said Harry grinning. It would be fun to see Mustang's reaction to his world.

"Oh my god! You're heading back? Can I come with you?" Winry begged with puppy dog eyes. Every time she went with them she came home with tons of new toys to play with.

"What does Granny say?" asked Harry.

"She said to bring her back more fire whiskey and to be careful," said Winry.

Harry grinned. One-by-one they entered the barrier, which had settled near Granny Pinako's house. The other side had settled inside the Flamel's wards, so no one would see them come out.

"Welcome back Harry, Ed, Al. Who're your friends?" asked Perenelle.

"Meet my long-lost cousin, Roy Mustang the Flame Alchemist. You know Winry already."

"Welcome to our home, Mr. Roy. Boys, your book list has already arrived, so we can go shopping later," said Nick.

"Just Roy is fine. Mr. is too formal for my taste," said Mustang.

"In that case just call me Nick," said Nicholas grinning.

"And Winry, we can go shopping once the boy's leave. I know a few shops that sell the best clothes and machine parts," said Perenelle.

Winry beamed at the woman.