(A/N: This is not one of my better chapters. Like I said, the middle of stories is hard to right. And flame all you want for the religion here, but I'm a Christian, and what Prentiss deals with in trying to reconcile what she's done with what she believes is something I've struggled a lot with. As always, I don't endorse self-harm, read the story at your own risk if you do or have done it. Can be triggering, though I try to keep that stuff to a minimum.)

No one paid attention in class that week, well, except Reid because knowledge was all he ever wanted, and Prentiss because she felt she needed to keep up her "perfect" image, because Thanksgiving break began on Thursday. Some classes were cancelled, and no one got very much done. "Reid, what are you doing over break?" Prentiss asked him when they were grabbing a coffee on Tuesday.

Reid knew what he'd be doing, of course. No celebration, no Thanksgiving tradition of stuffing himself. All he would be doing is taking care of his mother and catching up on coursework. He loved her, but sometimes, though he didn't even like to admit it to himself, he wished she…wasn't around any more, so he wouldn't have the responsibility that often felt like a crushing weight on his shoulders. He ached for a normal life. But Prentiss didn't know about that. "Um, nothing I guess," he mumbled. "I'm just going to stick around here and see my mom, she hasn't been feeling well lately. And maybe I'll hang out with Penelope."

Prentiss texted Garcia as well, asking her the same question- she knew full well Garcia didn't have plans. She had no family that she knew of and had been hacking and working on computers to support herself since she finished elementary school. Later that day, Prentiss talked to JJ, who worked things out. She would stay with JJ for the entire break, and Reid would carpool with Garcia to be at JJ's on Thanksgiving Day. She breathed a sigh of relief once everything fell into place. No one, least of all her friends, should have to spend a holiday alone.

Wednesday afternoon. Prentiss's classes were over, but JJ had one more to go. They would be leaving later that evening. She started to feel like cutting again, without knowing why, but forced herself to go for a walk, texting JJ about it. They would deal with it together once her class was over. Prentiss left the campus, just moving through the cold air, the freezing wind on her face grounding her. Keeping her from retreating too much into her own head. But she was still lost in thought enough to not really be aware of where her feet were taking her. The question pounding through her head was stark. Prentiss realized the full impact of what she was doing by now, realized, felt it was very wrong. Not to mention the impact on herself. She had used to, before this semester and, well, everything, started and her self-harm got far worse, go to a church near the school almost every week. She had always found comfort in the thought that God loved her, even if her mother didn't, but now she was thinking Does he, still? Am I too bad to save? Where did I go wrong?

Prentiss didn't get back out from her thoughts until, to her great surprise, she found herself opening the door of the church. Guilt hit her the second she entered, and she slipped into the very back of the sanctuary, perhaps wanting to- what? Pray? But she couldn't dispel the feeling that she didn't belong. The shame. She sat down and stared at the floor, lost, trying to make sense of things. After- she didn't know how long- she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Emily, right? Are you okay, honey?" She flinched at the touch, though on some level she knew the person only meant to comfort her. Looking up, she saw her favorite pastor, a forty-ish woman named Marie with flaming red hair, dressed not in what she would wear when presiding, but normal clothes. "I wasn't going to hit you. What's wrong?" she asked.

Prentiss chewed on her lip, kept looking down, and just shrugged. "If you talk about it, I can see if I can help, or pray for you," the pastor gently prodded.

"I'm not sure if God loves me," Prentiss said hesitantly. "I feel like I don't belong in church. Don't deserve to be there." Wait, did I just say all that? she thought. But something her therapist had said, that she shouldn't be afraid to look for support, also seemed to stick in her head.

"Why not? You're very smart and have been going to church for most of your life, you've definitely heard by now that God loves everyone. No matter what they're like or what they've done."

"I've heard. I just am probably too bad for that love. God doesn't want someone like me," Prentiss said.

"There's absolutely nothing you could do that would make you too bad for God. Besides, you're only 20 years old, you can't have done anything too terrible yet- I can't see you murdering anyone," Marie said, trying to joke.

Prentiss was filled with sudden smoking anger. She couldn't figure out why. "Trust me, God doesn't want this," she snapped, on impulse rolling up her sleeve and revealing several scars. There was a long pause. Prentiss didn't look up, thinking she'd see disgust or fear on the pastor's face. "That's why I haven't been coming to church or anything," Prentiss finally said.

"I know it's hard to see it right now, but no matter what you did- this, too- he still loves you. And doesn't want you hurting. Do you have anyone helping you now? Does anyone know about this?" Marie asked.

"I have a shrink and my friends know. That helps but…I still think God most likely hates me." Prentiss bit her tongue and made a conscious effort to force back tears. Why was she crying so easily all of a sudden?

"That's a load of crap, and you'll see it eventually. I'm sure you've heard about the prodigal son, right? That story applies to you, too. And that son didn't just hurt himself- he spent his inheritance on every kind of vice there is. But then he decided to come back to his family, his home. He's in disgrace and thinks he can never be forgiven. But instead of being made a servant, the father throws a huge party for him and forgives everything. He runs to his son when he's still far off, and never stopped looking for him to come back and loving him. You're in that same situation- the father's a symbol for God, you know. And all you have to do is come home. Not even come home- just start on the path, and then God will come running up to you. Because guess what? He still loves you. You're not a bad person- just broken. And you can have as many second chances with him as you need."

Prentiss shrugged. "I'm not sure." Dammit, Emily, don't cry! she thought viciously as she started to tear up.

"I hope and pray you'll be able to see that love soon. Because that's the truth. You just have to come home and accept it."

An hour later, JJ and Prentiss were stuffing their things into JJ's parents' car. "Do you feel better now?" JJ asked the dark-haired girl in an undertone.

Prentiss nodded. "I do. I went for a long walk, then ended up in that church I went to last year. I'm sorry if I worried you. But you won't always be there- so I have to learn. Today's day four."

JJ smiled and spontaneously dropped her bag to hug Prentiss. "You can do this."

"Emily, I'm sorry about your parents," JJ's mother said sympathetically as the overloaded car left the college campus. "Gay, straight, or bi, you'll always have a place with us you can come back to."

Even if I'm dating your daughter? Prentiss thought.

Prentiss and JJ had hoped to be able to share a room, or better yet, a bed, but JJ's family had a large house, so Prentiss ended up in a guest room. But not long after going to sleep, she was awoken by an unsettling dream where she found herself alone forever in a wasteland, surrounded by darkness, nothingness. The feeling of being alone only intensified because she was alone in the room, the bed.

Quietly, so as not to wake anyone, Prentiss slipped out of the bed and, cracking the door to JJ's room, snuck in. She carefully shook the blond awake. "JJ, I feel so alone," she half-begged. "Can I sleep by you tonight?"

JJ sighed, then relented. "My parents don't know we're together yet. So just be out of here before they get up."

"Okay, no problem," Prentiss agreed. She lay down next to JJ, who spooned her friend's still too-skinny body, wrapping her arms protectively around her. If only it were that easy to protect you from yourself, love she thought.

The girls, however, found themselves so exhausted from the late nights and lack of sleep that college demanded of them, that they woke up not before everyone else, but only because JJ's father had knocked on the door. And, getting no response, he had then come in. It was a few seconds before he realized what he saw. "JJ, your mother says get up, she needs your help making the- oh. Um…."

(A/N: Sorry for the short chapter and not updating; writer's block. How's this for a cliffhanger?)