CHAPTER 10:
Michael greeted the winners obnoxiously, with Jan around his arm.
"Congratulations." Michael was doing his best robot impression. "Your surprise awaits you at dinner."
They made their way to the picnic tables. Michael sat them down at their own special table, one trimmed with pink streamers. They ate their turkey sandwiches and bags of chips for dinner. Everything was pleasant until Michael offered them their present.
"I have given Todd Packalacka the duty to create your prize. I don't know what it is yet, but I'm sure it will be hilarious," Michael laughed to himself. Jim and Pam exchanged looks of worry.
Todd strolled up holding four brown paper bags.
"Okay, queers. This is a little game. The reality is that only one of you people is actually going to win a prize. In three of these bags, there is…" he couldn't finish without beginning to laugh, "there's some not-so-good things. One of the bags has an excellent prize. There isn't any way to know which has which. All you do is pick a bag and keep what's in it. Good luck." His face was bright red from all the laughing he had been doing.
Each group member picked a bag and looked at the contents one at a time. Angela opened her bag to find a dead mouse.
"Oh heavens. Where did you get this?" Angela dropped her bag and Dwight picked it up to inspect the animal.
"Found it on the side of the road. Isn't it great?" No one was laughing except for him and Michael.
"Oh goodness, Angela. Lighten up." Michael did his best to sound authoritative.
Pam was next to open her bag. The smile on her face quickly faded. She dumped out her contents and wished that this wasn't really happening.
"Oh my God! Packer, this is just nasty," Jim declared.
Lying on the picnic table was a very used and very old condom. Jim found a long stick on the ground, inserted it into the opening, and flung it about 50 feet away.
"WOOO PACKER!! I bet that one was yours!!!" Michael cried out.
"Sure was! I got this from the backseat of my car!" Todd stated pompously.
Todd signaled to Dwight to open his bag. He pulled out a Snickers bar.
"AWESOME!" He immediately ripped open the wrapper and began gulping it down.
"Okay Jim, my favorite faggot, open your surprise!" Todd shouted.
"No." Jim was too busy consoling Pam about her own surprise. "I know it's going to be something disgusting, and I really don't want to deal with that. So why don't you give Michael my gift and we'll call it a day."
Michael jumped at the opportunity to have the gift. "This is going to be grrrrrrrrreat!"
Everyone but Dwight walked away before he could get the chance to open his bag.