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Chapter 10

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February 26, 2000, Part 4

Severus ground out a quick silencing charm and slammed the door behind him as he entered Tomes & Scrolls several hours after he'd left Hermione's. The frigid walk through the back alleys of Hogsmeade had done nothing to cool his temper and he yanked the door open and slammed it again. And again. And again. Damn that wretched boy. How dare he attack Hermione like that! How dare he–

"I would have thought you'd be in a better mood tonight."

Lucius' drawl interrupted Severus' destruction of the door frame and he whirled around, for the first time in years missing the swishing of his teacher's robes as he glowered at his old friend. For his part, Lucius looked entirely nonplussed. The aristocrat was sitting in the high-backed chair he liked to transfigure out of a stool whenever he was watching the shop, looking quite regal with his long hair loose around his shoulders, sipping a tumbler of whiskey in front of the roaring fire. Stalking over to him, Severus snagged the tumbler out of his old friend's hands and tossed it back. Burning heat wound its way to his belly, not quite enough to soothe the fire already raging there.

Severus leaned against a nearby shelf and curled his lip. "What are you doing down here?"

Lucius had the gall to smile, conjure a second high-backed chair and gesture for Severus to take a seat. "Waiting up for you, of course. Did things not go well with your Hermione?"

Ignoring him–both the question and the request to sit–was easy. "I take it the kids are asleep?"

"No," Lucius' tone was drenched in sarcasm. "I just left them unsupervised in front of the fire so they could watch it like a tele-machine. Of course they're bloody well in bed. Now sit down."

"Television," Severus corrected. "Since you're here you may as well stay the night. I've got a potion to brew and send out with the morning post."

One elegant eyebrow arched above Lucius' pale grey eyes and he examined his cuticles closely as though thoroughly bored with the discussion. Parkinson could take lessons from him, Severus thought. "Revenge, Severus? I thought you'd gotten over that sort of petty behaviour ages ago. Who messed with your little muggleborn this time?"

Grinding his teeth hard enough to hear the cracking in his skull, Severus set the empty tumbler down, stalked across the room and pinned Lucius to the stupid, throne-like chair with one of his hands. He glared at his old friend.

"Do not test me tonight, Luci. Connor's boy attacked Hermione this morning."

At his words, Lucius perked up, the teasing glint fading from his eyes as he asked, "McLaggen's boy? The poncy one?"

Severus nodded and Lucius sneered. "Never did like that boy. Always a bit too pretty for his own good, just like his father."

Snorting, Severus pulled away from Lucius and settled into the second chair. Most people said the same thing about Lucius and Draco. Too pretty for their own good. Only Severus was close enough to the family to know exactly how true that sentiment was.

"He seems dead set on getting a contract out of her," Severus said.

"Foul play?"

"Foul something. Tried to seduce her." His molars almost survived that statement. Severus winced as they ground together and figured he might as well share the whole picture. His teeth were shot no matter what. Not that they'd ever been one of his better features. "Then tried to hit her."

"It's a good thing Batman was there to rescue her."

"Calder told you," Severus guessed.

Lucius smirked. "It's all he could talk about. Your son believes you're a hero."

A lump formed in Severus' throat and he choked it down. "The world will disillusion him soon enough."

"Mmmm," Lucius agreed with a scowl. "No harm in letting him believe it for now, though."

Severus agreed entirely. Someday his children would learn just what the rest of the world thought of their father. The heartbroken spy. The Death Eater who tricked Harry Potter. The murderer. He dreaded that day more than anything. But for now his son thought he was the greatest man on the planet and he was his daughter's only love. And he was content with that. He would enjoy their love for as long as they could give it to him.

"So Mclaggen's being persistent." Lucius said. "What's he up to?"

"That," Severus responded darkly. "Is what I intend to find out."

The pair of them settled into silence, each caught up in their own thoughts. He, Hermione and now Lucius all agreed that McLaggen had to be up to something, but what? What could make a man risk business, reputation and freedom over something as insignificant as a business contract with a small, out-of-the-way potions shop? Nothing good, Severus decided, grinding his teeth even more. He consciously stuck his tongue between his molars. The grinding ceased.

"Is the Granger girl alright?" Lucius asked.

"Fine," Severus said. Then after several heartbeats, "I kissed her."

"Took you bloody long enough," Lucius said, wordlessly summoning his tumbler from where Severus had left it and conjuring one of his better bottles of Old Ogdens.

As Lucius poured himself a couple fingers, Severus frowned. "Pardon?"

Staring at him over the rim of the tumbler, Lucius smirked and spoke slowly as though Severus was dumb. "I said it took you bloody well long enough. I thought I'd never see you committed again."

"Nonsense," Severus drawled. "I would hardly call bumping into her a handful of times committed; it was just a kiss."

Waving a dismissive hand in the air, Lucius sniffed his whiskey before indulging in a single, miniscule sip. The taste must have suited as he hummed his approval and leaned back in the chair. Severus drummed his fingers into the arms of his own wingback chair as Lucius took another lingering sip. The man was a lesson in exasperation.

"Of course it wasn't just a kiss," Lucius finally purred. As though he held the key to all the secrets in the world.

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers, praying to any god that would listen for patience. Or that they would smite Lucius immediately so he didn't have to deal with his friend's dramatics. Certainly a rug would cover up any burns left behind from a good god-smiting?

When no smiting or patience came, Severus settled with responding. "It was. Trust me, Luci, I would know if anything else happened."

Hell, he'd probably still be over there if anything else had happened, his body curled around Hermione's as they napped off their passion. He certainly wouldn't be here, having an inane conversation with his business partner. But it was too soon. Too soon for him to have those kinds of feelings for her, let alone act on them. He pursed his lips. Too soon, indeed.

"Psh," Lucius waved his hand in the air again. "It was a kiss with the woman who helped take care of your family. Almost like a mother…"

"What are you driving at?" Severus snapped.

"Sassa turns two in a couple of months; I was starting to give up hope that you'd fulfill your promise to find her a mother." Propping one ankle on his knee, Lucius picked imaginary fluff from his pant leg and added, "Why, I would be surprised if the oath-bond magic isn't already at work."

"What did you say?" His voice was hardly more than a breathy whisper.

Lucius glanced at him. "The oath-bond magic. You promised Sassa a mother."

"You're being ridiculous," Severus said, but his words didn't have conviction. He felt cold clawing at his heart as he thought about Lucius' words. Now that it had been brought up, his friendship with Hermione had escalated rather quickly. Previously he'd passed it off as a shared history, an intense attraction, but now…

Child born of a curse. Fatherless. Motherless. Accept me and I will be your father. Trust me and I will find you a mother. The words that he'd spoken, so many months ago though it felt like forever, had tied him to Sassa and Calder. Had tied them to him. It was just as possible that those same words had tied him to Hermione as soon as the oath magic deemed her worthy.

He closed his eyes and shook his head, wishing it wasn't true. But now that he was thinking about it, the oath-bond magic could have been at work since the first time he'd seen Hermione in his shop. He'd noticed her that day, strolling down his aisles looking like a winter-kissed angel. And hadn't he felt unusually drawn to her when she opened her shop up to him and Sassa only a week ago? Hadn't he spontaneously apparated that very morning when McLaggen raised his hand against her? Something he'd never done before despite having watched hundreds of women and men be tortured and killed in front of his very eyes? Anger and disappointment curled in his gut, a heady mix. He could almost feel the oath magic thrumming in his veins, curling around his memories of her, making him want her. Angry tears stung his eyes.

"Damnit!"

Why couldn't anything in his life be good just for the sake of being good?

Snatching the tumbler out of Lucius' hands again, Severus tossed back the burning liquid before flinging the glass across the store. As it shattered against the door he stood up from his chair and kicked it over, slamming the heel of his boot into the fabric-covered arm until it splintered and broke apart beneath him.

Why did magic have to twist everything up until he could never tell if his feelings were real or not?

He took one of the broken pieces and lobbed it into the fireplace, whirling around to find something else to destroy in his fury. If he'd known how much promising Sassa a mother would fuck with his life now… He picked up another piece of the chair and swung at a bookshelf. Suddenly two strong, lean arms wrapped themselves around him tightly, reigning him in and holding his thrashing body until all the fight had left him.

Once he'd exerted all his energy, Severus sagged against Lucius. His chest was heaving from exertion and his hands stung with splinters. His ankle hurt. Lucius simply held him, murmuring soothing nonsense into his ear as Severus stared glassily at the line of books in front of him. He loosed his grip on the broken piece of the chair. It thudded to the ground, breaking the silence.

"I don't want her if it's not real," Severus said brokenly, his mind conjuring the memory of their kiss. Had it been real? Like much of his life it was impossible to tell.

Lucius moved his hands to Severus' shoulders, clasping them tightly. When he spoke, it was as though he was calming a feral animal. "Did you not feel a spark when she walked through our doors? Before she ever met your children did you not sense a kinship with her? Blame the oath magic all you want, but it would never force your will. It was only ever meant to build upon what already existed. What was already real."

Leaning into his friend, eyes closed, Severus breathed deeply until his heart stopped pounding a riot against his ribs. How many times had Lucius comforted him like this? How many times had his old friend calmed him in the midst of a rage? His words were hope. Severus longed to believe them, to believe that it wasn't the magic creating his compulsion to be near Hermione but true, honest desire. But could he risk trusting the old snake this time? With his heart and Hermione's on the line? With his children's happiness at stake? Taking one final, shuddering breath, he withdrew from the comforting embrace and repaired the broken chair with a flick of his wand.

"I cannot pursue her until I know for sure that it's real. I won't bend to another bond," he said with finality.

The set in Lucius' jaw said his friend didn't agree with him, but Severus didn't much care. Lucius had already ruined his night, snuffed out the joy he'd found in Hermione's embrace, and Severus wasn't going to be guilted into whatever his friend thought was best for him. Not with how much there was to lose. He was done being forced to bow down to oaths and bonds. He'd buried that part of his life with Dumbledore and Voldemort and Sassa Rowle. As Lucius settled back into his chair and summoned a new tumbler, Severus set off for the stairs. He was suddenly so very tired. And so very sad. And he had a lot to do before he retired for the night.

"Don't stay up too late," he counseled, turning off the lights in the shop with a nox so that only the warm glow of the fire was visible in the store. "You're taking the early shift tomorrow."

Lucius' silver eyes caught the firelight and shone like cats eyes as he turned to face Severus. "It will be difficult to brew up your revenge without any ingredients."

Severus' shoulders drooped. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wall of the stairwell. Clearly he recalled the crate of ingredients he'd ordered, and the exact spot in Hermione's shop where it was undoubtedly still sitting, forgotten. He was grinding his teeth again. He could feel the pressure in his jaw. There was no way he could go back for those ingredients now. Not knowing that some kind of compulsion magic could be at work on him. On Hermione. Returning would put them at risk of succumbing. He bit his tongue. Life was not fair. Not for him.

But he damned well couldn't let McLaggen get off thinking he could go forcing himself on witches and knocking them about when they turned him down. He could almost believe it wasn't so much about Hermione as it was about the principle of the thing. Wizards didn't do that shite and get away with it.

He was kidding himself. Of course it was about Hermione. Even as resolved as he was to not pursue her, Severus couldn't help but want to protect her. To make sure McLaggen knew that while Hermione would crush his balls and hex him to smithereens if he tried anything else, Severus could make that experience look like a slap on the wrist without even using his wand. And he would, if the pompous arse ever touched his Hermione again.

"Perhaps," he choked out, refusing to meet Lucius' luminous eyes. "You could have some of your old contacts look into McLaggen before I, as you put it, brew up some revenge. So we know what we're dealing with."

"Hmmmm," Lucius all but purred. Severus could just picture him swirling the whiskey around in his glass, pretending to consider it. "It has been some time since I caught up with the boys. Perhaps," Severus scowled deeper at the mocking tone. "I could encourage them to look into his affairs."

Severus nodded and started up the steps, weary to his bones. Lucius' muttered, "Stubborn fool," following him up to the apartment. Stubborn, yes. But only a fool would bow down to another oath. Another bond. That was his old life. And even if it meant he missed out Hermione being in his new life, he'd long ago learned to live with disappointment. How hard could it be to do once again?

Should I apologize for this chapter? Perhaps the cursing was a bit much... Severus is very angry, though. And maybe things going tits up wasn't quite what you expected. But really, I can't help it if we're at the halfway point, can I ? And I can't help it if Lucius can't keep his darned mouth closed.

I will apologize for not apologizing, though. And, in spite of the cursing and the sky-focused tits, I hope you did enjoy this chapter. And are enjoying this story. As I mentioned, we're about halfway there (give or take a few thousand words, probably) and things should clip along nicely from here-on-out. I am so very thankful for each and every one of you who has followed, favorited and reviewed this story. You're wonderful. I hope you hang with me to the end.

Blessings.