Sorry I haven't updated in a while! I finally managed a James chapter. Keep reviewing, you wonderful people, and read on.

Nothing more

James looked up as the portrait hole opened. He stood, aware that he was blushing furiously, and rubbed his sweaty hands on his robes.

"Hey, Evans, can I speak to you please?"

The small group of third year girls looked up as he called the name of one of them. They muttered amongst themselves, and James felt himself reddening even more. His heart was hammering in his chest, his breathing was too fast … why were girls so terrifying?

The redhead raised a questioning eyebrow. "Sure, Potter."

"In private." James added, his voice a mere mutter.

"What, so you can hex me or prank me? No, Potter. Whatever you have to say had better be said in front of all of us."

James hesitated. The girls were giggling behind Lily's back, and she looked exasperated at the time he was taking. He could almost sense Sirius a few metres behind him, probably snickering or making eyes at the other girls.

"Will you … will you come to Hogsmeade with me?" He stuttered. He was sure his face must be purple by now.

Lily raised an eyebrow again, sweeping her beautiful red hair behind her ear. "No. Sorry, Potter, but I'm not going out with a bully."

"Oh. Okay, then."

When the group of girls left, still giggling (why do they do that?, James thought), the rejected boy sat down with a groan.

Sirius sat beside him, tossing his head back as he barked a laugh. "Ask again in a week, Jimmy. I still don't get why you like her of all people, but give it a go and she'll have to agree eventually."

James just put his head in his hands, hardly listening to his best friend. He'd spent his life having his wishes delivered straight to him that the rejection hit hard, and he suddenly felt ill. The whole of Hogwarts would probably be laughing at him when they found out. He'd finally built the nerves to ask and his hopes were ruined after one word from Lily Evans.

Sirius noticed his despair. "Just ask again, mate. Be nice to her and lay off Snape for a while, and it'll work wonders."

James listened to his friend's advice. For two whole weeks he was quieter in class, he teased Snivellus less, held doors open for Lily (who either stared at him in confusion or glared), and was generally as much of a gentleman he could bear to be.

At the end of those two weeks, he approached Evans again. This time it was just after charms, and they were both heading to Transfiguration. Lily was walking ahead of James, and as he watched, an older student ran down the rapidly emptying corridor, jostling Lily and knocking her bag to the floor. Her papers flew into the air, settling on the flagstones all around her.

"Hey, Ev- Lily! Let me help you with that."

"What is it? I can do it on my own, you know."

"Well, I thought you might appreciate some help." Lily didn't complain. After a minute of scrambling around and attempting to clear up some spilt ink, James broke the silence. "You know, Hogsmeade trip is on Sunday, and-"

"Potter, I told you I won't go out with someone who is so cruel to Severus."

The rejection stung again, leaving another pinprick of pain in James' heart. What had he done to make her so angry?

"Lily-"

She just shouldered her bag and walked off, leaving James kneeling hopelessly in the middle of the scattered papers.

James spent the next three years asking Lily out, to no avail. Each time she refused left him with another wound, another thing to despair about, another reason not to be himself.

"Evans, what do you think-"

"I think you're an idiot."

He wouldn't let it get to him. He asked with more gusto each time, made it more dramatic, or more public, trying to be noticed by her, at least. When she refused him, he'd smile and say it was nothing, however bruised he became inside, insisting it was all part of his 'plan'.

"You know, Evans-"

"Yeah, I know how arrogant you are. No need to tell me."

He had no plan. He knew that, but he found himself thinking he did. He told himself that everything would work out. If he didn't, he might find himself upset, and that wouldn't do at all.

"What did you think of the Quidditch?"

"I think it's a shame Mulciber didn't knock some sense into you with a bludger."

What would everyone say if they found that James Potter cared? If they found that it mattered to him - that it wasn't just a game. Because even James couldn't deny that he was a little self-conscious.

"Lily-"

"No."

And every night, away from prying eyes, he sat in his bed and cried silently because Lily made him soft, and he made Lily angry.

It was halfway through sixth year that James completely changed his tack.

One night in the dormitory, Sirius had a detention and Peter had to ask Slughorn about the potions homework. James and Remus were sat in front of a chessboard.

"I just don't get why she won't go out with me! I've been nice to her for the past three years, and I barely hex Snivellus at all anymore. You know her, Remus. You chat to her all the time - what do you think?"

"I think you should leave her alone."

James paused, staring incredulously. "What?"

"Lay off her for a while. She's annoyed that you keep bugging her. Just keep quiet for a while and don't ask her out at all. Keep being nice, though."

"But then she'll never even notice me."

"It's pretty hard not to notice you, James. Be yourself. You're always too arrogant around her, trying to show off."

James went silent again. "Really? I'm different around her?"

"Yeah. You mess up your hair and try to look cool, James. Don't." Remus looked deadly serious, so James relaxed and decided to believe him. He processed the information. He guessed it would be annoying to be bugged to go out with someone nonstop for three years. James steeled his resolves. He wouldn't ask Lily out. He wouldn't show off. He'd be himself.

"Alright. Okay. Yeah, I'll do it."

James did as he had been advised. He watched her sometimes, which he knew should be a creepy thing to do, but it was as if his eyes were attached to her - it was the way they went naturally, and it just seemed right.

He watched as she laughed with her friends, and as she pulled away from Snape. He watched as she received some of the best grades of the year in most subjects they shared. He watched - however painful it was - as she started going out with Edgar Bones from Ravenclaw.

Edgar was a nice guy, James knew. They'd talked about quidditch a couple times when they'd shared a detention, and he was a good laugh. James also knew that girls considered him attractive with his pretty blue eyes and tanned skin from his holidays in Europe. He seemed to be good to Lily - she smiled more when she was with him - and he never bragged about their relationship.

That didn't stop the pain. James knew he wasn't over Lily (far from it), but he didn't expect the potency of the jealousy that burned inside him. Suddenly the thought of discussing quidditch with Edgar made him want to throw up. Whenever he saw Lily he had an urge to hold her and not let go.

He was lovesick - there was no other word for it.

He was ashamed to say it, but when he saw Lily crying, he was relieved. Had she broken up with Edgar? His second thought was for her, and yet again he wanted to beg her to go to Hogsmeade with him. He wanted to see that smile on her face again, he wanted to be in her presence, where he always felt self-conscious …. he wanted Lily Evans, and there was no denying it.

So he approached her."Are you alright?"

Lily hastily wiped away her tears when she saw him. "Yeah. Yes, I'm fine."

"Really? Why are you crying?" James settled himself on the sofa beside her.

"Why are you interested? I haven't even spoke to you for at least a year."

"So? Doesn't mean I don't want to help you out."

Lily sniffed, wiping at her eyes again and leaning back into the sofa. "It wasn't working out for me and Edgar. It … it just didn't seem special anymore. Didn't feel right. I wasn't really into the relationship - to be honest, I was a bit sick of it. So I told him that, and now we've broken up, and I feel guilty. He seemed really sad."

"My mum's always told me to do what I think is right. To never do something you don't want to do just to please someone else. Do you think this is right for you?"

"Yes."

"Then you shouldn't feel bad."

"Thank you, James."

It was the first time she'd called him 'James' rather than 'Potter'.

James and Lily were on good terms after that. The group of girls (or sometimes just Lily) often sat with the Marauders at mealtimes. The first time she'd joined them, Sirius had stared at her for the whole meal, completely confused (and slightly horrified) at the new advancement. Lily Evans talking to James Potter? Unheard of.

But soon enough, the two groups became more comfortable with each other and James found himself loving Lily in a completely different way. At the start it had been because of her beauty. He had loved the deep red of her hair and the shining green of her eyes and her porcelain skin. Then it had become a game: he loved her because she kept refusing, because she was passionate and wouldn't let anyone tell her what to do. When she had gone out with Edgar it had been about longing - James had wanted what he couldn't get. Now? Now James saw her kindness and her pure values and her strength. Now that he saw all that, he became wistful for those rich laughs and sweet smiles that she gave him. Laughs and smiles so pure and real that every emotion was displayed on her face. Everything about her - inside and out - was beautiful, and James became completely under her power.

If she told him to stop, he stopped whatever he was doing, whether it be a prank or a particularly bad joke, or even charms homework. If she asked him to do something, he never questioned it - he would pick up the book or he would write the potions essay or he would open the door.

She was also completely sure of herself. It had used to annoy James, but now it became endearing. She wasn't only beautiful and intelligent, but she was confident, too.

That was the problem. That was the real problem, because if she didn't like James in that way, she didn't like James in that way. No question, no consideration. She was not someone to change her mind quickly.

And James was sure she didn't like him. She treated him like a friend and nothing more. She looked at him as a friend and nothing more. She thought of him as a friend and nothing more.

That thought was what threatened to rip his mind apart.

I was going to go on to when she said yes, but I realised that if I did that, it wouldn't be angst, and the whole point of this collection is angst. So I stopped. Sorry, James!

Any other angsty Marauder stuff you want to see? Just tell me!