'That's preposterous,' I thought at first when my father told me about the other meaning of gardenias. 'A secret love?'

Nope. No way. Surely Jackson was just calling me lovely, and probably because he felt sorry for me sitting there looking so upset over Akito even though he didn't know that's what I was upset about. Nope. It was actually even more likely that he'd chosen the gardenia because he simply thought the flower was pretty and didn't know about either of the meanings at all. Then again, my father did have a few books at the cafe in his storage room talking about flowers. Perhaps Jackson looked through one of them one day and. . .Nuh-uh! Nope. The possibility of Jackson having secret feelings for me was slim to none. I would know if he was holding a secret flame for me.

Then again. . .I'd been in love with Akito for over ten years and he still didn't have a clue. Was it really that impossible of a notion? Was it really that unlikely that Jackson could have been trying to tell me something? I shook my head. No. We were cousins. That would be beyond weird. But. . .we weren't actually cousins. Our families were close, but we weren't related biologically and not even legally for that matter. There was technically nothing tying us together as family aside from the bond formed when Howard took my father in after his mother left him as a teenager. Laney was my godmother, but that tied me to her specifically, not Jackson. Would it really be that weird? I bit at my bottom lip feeling confused and frustrated. It was like. . .a week after it happened and I was still agonizing over it. My parents' anniversary had come and gone. The Angling Contest, which I'd lost, had come and gone. All of that felt kind of foggy in my memory, though, because I had literally spent that whole week since Flower Day with my mind on the possibility of Jackson being interested in me.

"That's not what he was trying to say, though. Nope. So I don't know why I'm even thinking about it."

"Who wasn't trying to say what?"

I whirled around saw. . .nothing. Somebody cleared their throat and I looked down. I saw lots of purple, a pointy hat, and a perfectly curled mustache.

"Diego! Good afternoon. How have you been?" I was surprised that he was out and about without Enrique since the two of them were usually a duo, at least whenever they weren't with Raul which then made them all a trio.

Diego always used to special order items into his shop for the aspiring young artist I was. In fact, now that I had moved back, he was back to ordering things for me when I needed them. I was a farmer, but I was still an artist as well and that side of me was never going to go away even if I wasn't professionally pursuing it.

"I am well. And you are changing the subject."

"Oh, that? It's nothing, nothing," I said, trying to wave it away.

"Violet, I was young once too, you know!"

"You still are. Age is a number. Young is a state of mind," I said. I took a Philosophy class once. It was required and I was never really into it. I felt like I would have made my professor proud at that moment, though.

He laughed at me and said "Okay. If you don't want to tell me I'll be on my way to finish my walk."

He got about five feet away before I caved. "Alright, alright. Diego. . .you're a guy. So you know how guys think."

"I do!" he agreed cheerfully. "I am a salesman so I try to know the minds of people in general, though."

"So what if a guy may or may not have said something did he say it or did he not actually say it?" I immediately realized how jumbled that was so I started again. "I mean. . .I don't want to read too much into somebody's actions. I don't want to think that he means one thing when he actually means another. I don't want to assume that he feels something that he doesn't when he hasn't said as much. So how can I figure out what's going on in his head?" That still sounded kind of jumbled to me, but I wasn't willing to try to verbalize it all again.

Diego nodded a sage head as he listened to what I was saying and tried to make sense of something I didn't understand. You'd think that I would understand. I hadn't always been single so I'd had enough experience with being around guys who were interested in me to have some grasp on their thought process. You'd think. I was a twenty something year old woman. You'd think that I wouldn't be running around as confused as a teenager, but there I was. Jackson wasn't just any other guy, though. He was Jackson who I'd always regarded as a cousin. Maybe the problem wasn't that I couldn't understand, but rather I was reluctant to try because, as I said before, it was Jackson. I felt like having a good ole facepalm. Diego started talking again before I could do that, though.

"Even if he doesn't say it, if he wants you to know then he will still communicate it. Pay attention because not all communication is verbal and if it is verbal it may be subtle. It is like when a customer comes into my store. Something nonverbal like their body language can indicate if they plan to buy something or if they just want to browse. If I make a sales pitch, nonverbal cues show me how effective my words are being. Their actions speak to me even if the customer doesn't say anything. If you don't want to read too much into his actions, wait and see if the actions point in the same direction consistently. If they do, that's him trying to communicate."

"Diego, why aren't you married?" I asked as I took in his advice.

He shrugged and said "I never found the right girl. I would have if I'd found her. Besides, keeping my brothers in line is a full-time job, and that's besides the shop. And neither of them are serious enough about being salesmen. At least somebody wants to learn something from me." Diego shook his head, seemingly dismissing his previous line of thought, before refocusing on me. "Have a good day, Violet!"

"You, too, Diego. Thanks."

I watched him walk away and decided that from then on I was going to be more astute when it came to Jackson. Then again, maybe I shouldn't be. If he did have those feelings, did I really want to know? What good would it be to know such a thing if all it would accomplish would be to make things awkward between us and cause unrest in the family? I'd never thought of Jackson that way and besides, I'd been in love with Akito for half my life. But. . .I'd never found the courage to tell him and then there was Courtney and. . .

Nope. It was better to try and go on oblivious. If Jackson wasn't actually saying anything then he must have known how weird it would make things, too. And of course, it was more likely that he didn't even know either of the meanings of gardenias and my father's words were just serving to make a fool of me in my own mind. Jackson didn't have any secret feelings for me. I was the queen of secret feelings. I was an expert in that area.

I had other things to think about, anyway. I had a big job coming up. Bluebell's esteemed mayor had asked me to help revitalize Bluebell by re-painting all the signs of the businesses in the area. He told me that only the hand of a true professional could pull it off so how could I say no? And then that somehow led to Rahi asking me to refresh the paint on the Konohana gate. They both said there was no pressure and to get around to doing it when I had the time. I somehow knew I was probably going to end up procrastinating on this particular project. Sooner or later I would have a lot of work ahead of me, though, and I knew that.

A day later I was in Konohana to complete a request for Ying. She asked for pancakes. That's right. She asked for pancakes. The request was actually specifically targeted toward my mom considering Ying loved her special recipe. When I asked for it, though, my mom turned the request over and let me try my hand at emulating whatever it was Ying found so special about her pancakes.

"Thank you," she told me in her reserved, polite, yet still warm way. "I'm sure these will be as delicious as Lillian's."

She was giving me my reward when I heard unfamiliar giggling coming in through the door. I was putting said reward, into my rucksack as I came face to face with the two people I had been dreading running into, both individually and especially together.

Neither of them noticed me at first. Courtney was still giggling and Akito was frowning about something and she was too busy giggling to notice his dissatisfaction over whatever it was. I put my bravest face on since there really was no avoiding. Well, I could probably dash through the door that led to the outside eating area, jump over the railing, and make an escape. I would look crazy doing that, though, so I stood my ground and gave them an upturn of my lips. "Akito. Fancy meeting you here."

His head whipped in my direction in a second. "Hey, Violet," he said, sounding a little unsure for some reason.

"Violet?" Courtney echoed. "This is the famous Violet I've heard so much about?" She then turned an appraising eye on me, looking me up and down. I wasn't sure what opinion she was forming of me inside her head, but I could have sworn I saw her eyes narrow. The narrowing was gone so quickly that I chalked it up to my imagination before she gave me a smile and held out her hand. "I'm Courtney Sinclair."

Courtney Sinclair, also known as Akito's girlfriend. . .

I closed the gap between us, shook her hand, and said "Violet Drayton."

"Apparently you two go way back, is that right?" she asked, motioning her head in Akito's direction.

"Hmm? Oh yeah. We go back so far we probably had diaper rash at the same time."

Courtney laughed and it sounded overly loud to my ears, like she was trying a little too hard. In other words, it sounded fake. I didn't know her well enough to make that judgment, though, so I pushed that thought aside. "I'm sorry," she said after a moment. "It's just. . .the thought of a tiny baby Akito with diaper rash is too precious."

"Well, I know Georgia has some pictures around somewhere. . ."

"Vi," he warned, looking more like himself than he had when he came through the door.

"What? I'm just saying I'm sure she'd love to share the cuteness. Those chubby cheeks. Oh, and those chubby little legs. . ."

He seemed to go a little red in the face. "Are you saying she showed you those?"

"I can't confirm or deny such a thing," I told him even though I was all but confessing. "All I can say is that I know for a fact that you've always been adorable."

He was smiling and I was smiling and Courtney cleared her throat. We both snapped out of our amusement and I suddenly realized I'd called him adorable in front of his girlfriend. I felt the sudden, intense need to get far away.

"Anyway, just ask Georgia one day when Akito is nowhere around and I'm sure she will pull out some pictures."

"Thank you," she said as she wrapped both her arms around Akito's left and stepped a little closer. Her stance almost struck me as being. . .territorial. "I'll be sure to do that."

I looked down at my watch. "Listen, I have to go. I have things to do and I'm running out of time and, uh. . .but it was nice to meet you Courtney. See you later, Ki."

I didn't wait for their responses. I got out of dodge as quickly as I could. That meeting was every bit as awkward as I'd thought it would be since the day Courtney came into town. I would have to do better in the future. I would have to do much better in the future, no matter how much it cost me inside to do so. For Akito I would do better. I had to.

I escaped to the peace and quiet of Makoto's company and the orchard he tended to so diligently. We had trees on our property and they were well tended, but there was just something about this orchard that drew me to it. I was able to clear my head as I worked alongside him. He asked a couple of cursory questions and then he let me be alone with my thoughts while not being alone at the same time. Makoto wasn't much of a conversationalist, even if he had such a lovely voice, but he was always good company.

By the time the Stargazing festival rolled around, I had seen Akito and Courtney walking around both towns together enough times to build up an immunity. Well, enough of an immunity for me to not feel like I was dying on the inside. Well. . .Anyway, the Stargazing festival was similar to the Moon Viewing festival in Konohana. Since one was appreciating the stars and the other was appreciating the moon, though, people from both villages showed up to each one.

"The weather has been great today," Colby said as she sat on my bed watching me get ready. She moved over to my bulletin board and started laughing at an old picture of the two of us with Keiko and Willow. I was bent over with my chin on top of Willow's head, since she was so much shorter than me, which caused Willow's face to scrunch up rather comically. Meanwhile, Colby hand her hands held up and put bunny ears behind both mine and Keiko's heads. "The weather report said the sky should be crystal clear for the festival."

"That's one of the things I really missed about home when I lived in the city. You can't really see the stars there. There's too much pollution in the atmosphere."

Colby let out a frustrated sigh and said "At least you got to get out and go somewhere. Buena Vista was the farthest I'd ever been from home before that one time I got to visit you in the city with your parents."

"Are you saying you want to leave?" I asked, pausing with one leg in a pair of blue jean shorts.

"What? No. I mean, not permanently. I don't even want to leave for as long as you did. I just want the chance to see some different things, to travel a little. I want a few new experiences under my belt. Then, once I've had those, I can come home and continue on with my life and know that I don't have anything to regret."

"People can always find something to regret," I said under my breath, so low that she didn't hear me. "There's nothing wrong with that," I said loud enough for her ears to pick up as I put my other leg in and buttoned my shorts up. "I'm sure you'll get the chance to, okay? It will happen, even if I have to make sure it does myself."

Colby reached over and touched the now withered bouquet that I had yet to take out of my vase. "I'll hold you to that."

She was right. The weather was just right for this particular festival. I could see that on the way up to the mountaintop and that wasn't even giving me the full view. When we got up there, it appeared that everybody was unconsciously grouping together by age. And since all our other friends had yet to arrive, we found ourselves a nice quiet spot to talk amongst ourselves. I was just getting ready to say something to Colby when she said "He's here. And he brought her."

I looked around confused until I saw Akito walking up with Georgia and Kana. Courtney was by his side. I winced and looked away. "Well, it makes sense he would bring her. I mean, she's his girlfriend and it'd be kind of rude to tell her to stay home. . ."

"Oh Violet. You know what I mean."

Of course I knew what she meant. And I appreciated that she was upset on my behalf, but I had nobody to blame but myself. If I had taken the plunge years ago and put my cards on the table with Akito. . .Or if I had been honest with him in the weeks before Courtney came to town then maybe . .

"They're coming this way," Colby whispered. I groaned. But I reminded myself of what I'd decided before. I would try to do better for Akito's sake.

"Oh, hey there Ki. Courtney, it's nice to see you again."

Colby gave me a look that suggested I'd suddenly grown two additional heads and one of them belonged to a turtle.

"Violet. Colby. Court, you've met Colby, right?" Akito said, motioning between the two.

"Yes, I believe so. Your family owns that charming shop across the way from Georgia's right?"

"That's right," Colby said, flipping the switch and being the picture of civility. She even threw in a smile that almost fooled me. Almost.

"Colby, mom wants to talk to you," Kimberly said, showing up out of nowhere like a ninja before heading back the way she'd come from.

Colby frowned, looking from me to the other two and back again. "Don't have too much fun without me." She leaned next to my ear and whispered. "I am so sorry. I'll be back as soon as I can."

When she was gone it immediately became awkward for me. I had resolved to do better for Akito, but that was harder than I'd thought it would be at the moment. Perhaps it was still a tad bit too soon for me to be in a prolonged social situation with the pair of them by myself. I didn't want to bolt like I had the last time, but I certainly didn't want to be where I was at the moment. Akito, I noticed, looked distinctly uncomfortable himself. Before anybody could attempt to strike up a conversation, though, an angel of mercy came out of nowhere.

"You guys didn't start the party without me, did you?" Jackson asked with his hands in his pockets and a casual smile on his face. He came to a stop next to me.

"No, man. You know the party never gets started until you show up," Akito informed him.

"This is true. I'm happy you still know this," Jackson said as the two of them did the secret handshake that they, along with Makoto, had mastered a long time ago. "How are you this evening, Courtney?"

"I'm great. And you?"

"I'm good. Listen, I need to steal Violet away for a minute. You two don't mind, right?"

Akito looked toward me and frowned a little. His eyes went in my direction, but never quite made it all the way over to me like they hit some kind of an invisible wall. Weird. "No," he said a little hesitantly. "Go ahead. We'll talk to you guys in a little while."

"How about you? You wanna come with me?" he directed the question toward me. I nodded, kind of at a loss for words at the moment. "Great," Jackson said as he took my hand and walked in the opposite direction of those two.

On the one hand, I felt relieved to be out of that particular situation. On the other hand, I had another reason to feel awkward because I had the whole gardenia thing still on my mind and I wasn't sure what to do with it. I mean, before if Jackson had taken my hand I wouldn't have thought anything of it. Now, with Diego's advice fresh on my mind, I was wondering if I should interpret the seemingly innocent gesture as something else.

'You said you'd try and be oblivious,' I mentally chastised myself. 'That's right. Oblivious.'

Jackson let go of my hand and as soon as he opened his mouth, I was relieved to realize I didn't feel awkward about anything because he seemed completely normal, like the same cousin I'd always known. The only one who could make this conversation awkward was me and I was determined not to do so. After all, I couldn't make it awkward if I was trying to be oblivious, right? 'Oblivious.'

"You know the names of constellations, don't you?"

"Hmm?" I blinked twice and said "Yeah, you know I do."

"Now, I know the Big Dipper, but what's that one?" he asked me, pointing to a cluster of stars in the sky.

"That's the Little Dipper." For some reason, I'd never really paid the Little Dipper that much attention, but I had always been able to identify it.

"I knew that. I was just testing you. Are you ready for the big one?" When I nodded, he continued. "How about that one?"

I followed his finger and saw what he saw. "Ah. That's Cassiopeia."

"It's cool, isn't it? I mean, it's shaped like a 'w' and that's a great letter, right?"

That earned an amused giggle out of me. "Right. That's the best letter ever."

"I think Cassiopeia has always been my favorite constellation. I never knew what its name was before, but that never stopped me from looking at it. So, which one do you like best?"

"My favorite constellation?" I looked at the night sky and searched until I found what I was looking for. I pointed at it until I was sure he was looking in the right place. "That's easy. I love Orion's Belt."

"Orion's Belt? What about the rest of Orion?" he asked, genuinely interested in the answer.

"Nope. Just his belt," I told him simply.

We didn't get to discuss it any further because at that moment, his father clapped his hands together and started talking. The festival was officially about to start. I looked over and saw that Colby had returned. In addition to her, Keiko, Makoto, and Willow had all showed up and I was pretty sure I saw Zhen over there, too. Interesting. Colby looked at me and motioned us over.

"There's our cue," Jackson said with a wink as we started back in the direction of our friends. "Orion's Belt will have to wait."