Thanks for the reviews, honestly. This has been a difficult story to write and I had begun to get discouraged. The themes are dark and must be handled carefully. Kilgrave is a challenging character. I don't think he will ever be normal, but maybe he can find a little happiness, and maybe even contribute some good in the end. The payoff will come. There will be heartbreak, but also adventure! It will be very dangerous for Kilgrave and we will have to see if he survives. This is, after all, a story of redemption. If you spot an error please point it out...nicely?

Kintsugi for Kilgrave

Chapter 10

Eclosion part 1

When the adult Luna moth emerges in the stage known as eclosion, its wings are short, stumpy and weak. It will let it's wings fill out before taking flight.

The afternoon before Jack's first real date with Kilgrave turned out to be a pleasant tryst with Ianto. Very pleasant. And a bit surreal, as Ianto nagged him a bit on some things he should and shouldn't do. Don't hover over him, but be considerate. Compliment him but don't go overboard. Open doors for him. Pull out his chair. Watch for signs of anxiety but don't bang on about it. Let him try to control it himself, it'll build his self confidence. It made Jack want to both kiss Ianto all the more as well as strangle him. Just a bit.

As for Kilgrave, Gwen had to stop him from cleaning the kitchen a fourth time, tidying the conference room a third time and had to remind him he had already fed Myfanwy. Twice.

She took him by the hand and led him towards Jack's office. "Now, what I want you to do," she said, "is nip down there and pick out what you want to wear tonight."

"Jack picks out my outfits," he replied.

"Not tonight, he doesn't."

"But—"

"But nothing, I think you should surprise him," Gwen said.

"How am I meant to do that when he dresses me?"

"Oh, surely you can dress yourself!" Gwen said, her nose crinkled with her smiling.

"Yes, I can," he said. "But, well, I..."

"What? Go on, you can tell me."

He blushed and stared at his shoes. He mumbled something.

"Sorry, I didn't get that," Gwen encouraged.

"I said I like for him to dress me, okay?" He blushed even a deeper red.

"Well, then, he can just admire your choices as he puts them on you, then, can't he?" She patted his shoulder. "Go on, then, you've quite a choice in items, you can put together something very nice, I'm sure. Jack gets stuck in a rut. Choose a different shirt and tie to go with a waistcoat and jacket he wouldn't normally put together. And I know for a fact you have coats you've never even put on. Probably ties, too, come to that. Go and look, you might even have shirts Jack hasn't tried on you yet, he bought you a load of clothes. But it seems to me I see you in the same suits a bit. So go and pick something out."

He chewed his lower lip a few seconds, nodded, then descended the ladder. Jack's quarters were tight, but somehow he had managed to squeeze one of those flat-pack wardrobes in it and had put it together for their clothes. Kilgrave opened it. Normally when he opened it he just stuck their clean clothing in and never really looked. After all, picking out his clothing was Jack's choice. Now he slid the hangers aside, though, and made a few discoveries. Gwen was right! He began choosing items, his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth.

When he came back up Jack and Ianto had returned. "Muffin!" Jack called. "I was wondering where you were."

"You'll see," he said. He was pulled in for a quick peck on the lips. "I hope you two had a nice afternoon."

"Very," Ianto answered. "Hope you weren't too bored."

"No," Gwen said. "Nervous. Went on a bit of a cleaning spree, he did."

"Bit jittery, yeah," Kilgrave admitted.

"Understandable," Jack said. He slipped an arm around his waist. "I promise, if you get too uncomfortable I'll bring you home. But you do know it's going to be just a little stressing, right?"

He nodded. "A learning curve," he said. "But I have to try, right? If I don't then how are we to have a proper relationship?"

"Gotta try new things," Jack agreed.

Kilgrave grinned. "Gwen made a suggestion I pick out my own outfit, so I already tried a new thing. I picked out what I'm going to wear."

"Did you? Gwen, are you putting ideas into my Muffin's head?" Jack gave her a wink.

"I'm proud to say I did, and I can't wait to see what he chose." She crossed her arms and raised her brow. "Go on with the pair of you, then! Let's get this show on the road!"

"Yes, Ma'am!" Jack said, giving her a snappy salute, he took Kilgrave's hand and they went to get ready for their date.

Kilgrave had hidden his outfit in the back of the wardrobe until after their shower. Usually Jack dressed him first, but today they reversed their usual routine. As Jack finished dressing him he had to admire Kilgrave's choices.

"Why did I ever leave that shirt in the wardrobe this long?" he questioned himself. It was a gorgeous orchid color. His tie, a deep indigo, was adorned with swirls of heliotrope and deep purple. His waistcoat was such a deep purple it was nearly black. His trousers and jacket were black with purple pinstripes. His coat was a slim knee-length puce with canted pockets trimmed in satin piping. Each item was one Jack had neglected to pull from the wardrobe. He had, in fact, forgotten he had even bought them. Now, seeing them on Kilgrave, his heart skipped a beat. Several, in fact.

"You like?" Kilgrave turned around for him, looking at Jack, obviously needing approval.

"Like? It makes me want to rip it off you," Jack said. "Not that that's about to happen, mind you. Come on, I can't wait to see the admiring looks, from Gwen, from Ianto, from everyone that lays eyes on you. You're gorgeous, you know that?"

They ascended to admiring looks and praise. Gwen and Ianto escorted them out to the SUV, where Jack opened the passenger side door for Kilgrave. He looked both excited and bit scared as they drove away, watching Gwen and Ianto give them a friendly wave.

Jack took him to a tiny inn far on the outskirts of Cardiff. A small and exclusive eatery, there were only about ten tables in the whole place. They served only wild game and locally sourced in season produce grown right at the inn's own garden, Jack explained. Kilgrave's face lit up. He parked the SUV, turned to Kilgrave and said, "Just you sit there and look beautiful."

He got out, walked around to the passenger side door and opened it for his date, took his hand and led him inside. Taking his coat for him, he followed their host to their table where he held out Kilgrave's chair for him and seated him properly, ordering their best red wine.

There was a murmur or two of "Oh my," and "Look at those two guys, Miranda!" was whispered by an older lady to her companion. Admiring glances, then the patronage settled back down.

"What can I say," Jack whispered. "Kilgrave, you look...princely. Just absolutely bone dead gorgeous. Even more so in candle light. You were born to be courted. I just...I'm speechless."

His eyelids dropped and he blushed. "Not too speechless to order for me, I hope. I'm sure you know what's best here."

"Nothing on the menu looks better than you. I... oh God, I'm making a fool of myself, aren't I? It's just... oh hell, I'll say it. You just keep stealing my heart. But you'll see. I'll show you. Thank you for doing this with me. Are you feeling okay?"

"Surprisingly okay," he replied. "And feeling more okay by the minute. What are you going to order for me?"

"Braised saddle of rabbit with fresh garden vegetables and a chocolate raspberry pudding for afters."

Kilgrave face glowed like the candle on the table. Jack mentally high-fived himself.

Score.

He had made Kilgrave happy

The meal was sumptuous. Jack could see something in Kilgrave spring back to life as he enjoyed it. Eating fine food really did hold a deeper meaning for him. It had to be the contrast to being raised on such a poor diet. Good food equaled love for him. His eyes often darted up to meet Jack's eyes in appreciation that only grew as the evening went on.

Their chatter was light in the inn, but once in the car there was a silence. Kilgrave reached for Jack's hand and for a spell they rode quietly, hands linked.

"Jack?"

"Yeah"

"When will we make love?"

"When we're ready, Muffin."

"How will we know when that is?"

"We have a way to go, Kilgrave. Be patient."

"Does this have to do with the things you need to tell me that I have to hear a little at a time?"

"Yes, Muffin, it does. I told you I would tell you you truth, and I will, I promise. Do you trust me?"

"Yes. Yes, my Captain, I do."

Jack turned the SUV down a narrow country lane. He leaned over and kissed Kilgrave. "It would break my heart if you didn't. I promise to take care of you. I just have to be careful. Now, would you like to go for a nice walk and maybe do some star gazing?"

"That sounds wonderful." Kilgrave gave him a smile. He practically glowed.

Jack went around to the back of the SUV and fetched a blanket, then opened Kilgrave's door for him. They set off down a leafy path to a little clearing where Jack spread the blanket and they lay side by side, hands linked, gazing up at the sky.

"When I was little I used to dream of doing this," Kilgrave said. "But this is much better than anything I imagined. The stars look like tiny diamonds scattered across purple velvet."

Jack chuckled. "You and your purple. I think it's cute."

He shrugged. "Call it a fetish."

"I don't know, I think there's something more there. Something biological. Still, it's cute." He rolled over on his side. "You're cute. I'm not sure when or how it started, but somehow you got to me. And now there's something inside me that wants to take care of you. Wants to be with you. To protect you. Nurture you. Romance you. I hope you feel the same."

"I do, Jack, I do, more than I can say. And it's very strange because it feels like I've always felt this way. But that can't be, can it?"

Jack sighed. Damn it all. Goddamned IGH. He had to get the Doctor to help him. And he would. But for now he was going to make Kilgrave's love for him real.

"Let's just think about here and now," Jack said, pulling him close for a kiss. They held each other, stroking each other's arms and backs. Jack would only let it go so far, and then back off. "Let's focus on emotions, Muffin. Don't let what they did to you dictate your love life. You choose when you get to make love. That's part of what I'm teaching you. You're hyper-sexual. But no one ever trained you to control your impulses. I'll help you with that. You don't have to let your heart be a victim of your sexual urges anymore. Your Jack will teach you."

"Will I get to decide more when I...you know. When I, um..."

"Will you have more control over you orgasms? Yes. You'll always have lots of them, but the sex will last longer before they happen, and when they do happen they will be more satisfying and you won't need as many."

"Oh, that sounds nice." He gave Jack a wicked smile.

"It is. And it will be. But not yet." Jack traced a finger along his cheek. "I want more dates. I want more dinners. I want dancing. And lots more of this. He pulled Kilgrave in for a nice, long, quiet cuddle.

And so their official dating life began.

On their fifth date things truly coalesced. They finally went out dancing and the evening had been wildly romantic. As they returned to the Hub Jack didn't walk Kilgrave back so much as he danced him back. As they descended on the lift, he pulled Kilgrave in for a kiss. He felt Kilgrave's heart hammering against him. He sobbed into Jack's mouth.

Jack drew back. "Sweetheart, are you okay?"

"I―oh, Jack, I just―I love you so much it feels like my heart is going to burst out of my chest. Like my ribs are going to split. It's almost unbearable." His eyes brimmed. He threw his arms around Jack's neck.

Jack held him tenderly, making little calming nonsense noises between assurances that he loved Kilgrave just as much. Jack's guilt ripped through him. He had to tell Kilgrave about IGH conditioning him to fall for him. But how? He had to call the Doctor.