The Fellowship Plus One
Chapter Nine: Secrets

By the time I returned to join the rest of the Company, they were all together in the area the Lady had set aside for us. The Hobbits huddled together, Frodo a little apart from the rest, still grieving for Gandalf. Boromir and Aragorn were elsewhere, as was Gimli. Legolas stood to the side, a mug sitting forgotten in his hand. His eyes were distant, and I wasn't sure if he even saw me or just saw straight through me. Or perhaps he simply didn't recognize me. I barely recognized myself when I looked in the mirror.

No matter.

I moved to stand next to him, and only then did he glance at me and actually see me. When he did, he did a bit of a double take that involved staring then a lot of blinking then staring again. I chuckled and told him, "It's still me, Legolas. Only, I'm clean now." That got a small smile out of him. I mentally congratulated myself before turning to look out across the forest city with him. "This place is beautiful. Reminds me in a way of the forest… Cri's home." My voice caught on my brother's name, but a quick clearing of my throat got me moving on. He placed his hand on my arm briefly; I appreciated the gesture more than he was aware, I thought. "He would like you, you know," I said after a few moments of companionable silence.

"You think so?" He glanced at me with his eyebrow raised. I nodded, sitting on a small bench next to us.

"I know so. I couldn't really say what it is about you that he would like, but I know he would. I only hope you get the chance to meet him." I closed my eyes, relishing in the peace and security this place offered me.

"What happened?" I sat up and blinked at the Elf for a moment.

"What?"

"What happened? To make him leave you, I mean. You said he is younger than you?" Ah, that's what he meant.

"Yes, he is several years younger than me," and that was the understatement of the age. Cri was sixty or so years younger than me, but to our kind, that may as well be only a few years. Only among Men would it be a long time. "And as to what happened… He didn't leave. Or at least, I do not think he did. I…" I couldn't say it. I didn't know what had become of my baby brother, but I could not bring myself to actually say it out loud. I turned my head away from Legolas, biting my lip.

"You do not know." As was becoming usual, it wasn't a question. Somehow, he knew. I barely managed a chin dip that only vaguely resembled a nod. He was silent for a time; then he moved to sit next to me on the bench. "Rianadra… It was not your fault. Whatever happened that day, it was not your fault." I almost scoffed, but kept it at bay. Barely. That was easy for him to say… He wasn't there when the Orcs- for I knew now what they were- attacked. He didn't know that I turned my back on my brother. For only a split second, but it was long enough for me to lose him, possibly forever. His hand on mine startled me out of my bitter thoughts. "Do not dwell on it now. You will find him again." I wished I could share his certainty, but nothing in my life was certain right now.

"I can only hope to share your certainty, Legolas," I whispered in response. He sighed softly, wrapping his free arm around my shoulders.

"It is not just your brother that bothers you tonight, is it?"

"How do you know these things, Elf?" He smiled at me and pulled my head around so I could not look away from him.

"You are easier to read than most, in some respects. In others, you may as well be a language I have never had the chance to look at, let alone learn. I would like to learn the language that is Rianadra, if she would let me." I blinked. Then again.

"Some things are kept hidden not by my own choice. Others I may speak of freely." He nodded. "But I suppose I will answer your first question. No, my brother is not the only thing on my mind tonight. I cannot help but think of Gandalf." Legolas sighed again and looked up at the foliage above us.

"I think of him, too, Rianadra. But there is nothing we could have done to save him. Or at least, that is what I must tell myself, for otherwise I may go mad," he said softly, one hand toying absentmindedly with my fingers. I had to smile at the un-elf-like motions; luckily he didn't see it.

"Thank you." I could say nothing else to that. He was right. Thinking of all the possible what-if's and perhapses would drive me mad. Perhaps I could have pulled Gandalf back from the Bridge, but it was not me who pulled him over. It was not my fault. After that, we did not speak much, simply enjoying the silence and each other's company.

Time passed, and still neither I nor my Elven companion spoke, until finally, he stirred. "Would you care to take a walk with me, lady Rianadra?" I blinked at him as he rose from our comfortable position on the bench to standing before me, one hand held out.

"I think I would," I answered him after a second's thought. I gripped his hand and allowed him to pull me off the bench. "Where would you like to go?" He smiled at me and tucked my hand into the crook of his elbow; we walked off like that, not noticing a certain red-headed Dwarf hiding in the shadows until he whistled at us. Then I just turned to glare at him; of course, that did no good whatsoever, as he only started laughing. I heard Legolas give a long-suffering sigh before he tugged me off and away from Gimli's teasing. We were silent for a time, before I felt the urge to ask him why he had decided to do this now. "Legolas?"

"Hm?"

"Was there any specific reason you decided to take a walk now?" He smiled.

"Perhaps, my lady, perhaps." He truly did have a sense of humor.

"Are you going to tell me?" If he could play that game, then by the skies, so could I! He just shook his head. I grumbled; he chuckled quietly in my ear. "You are in so much trouble when we get wherever you're taking me." His chuckle only grew in volume at that. "Why is everyone laughing at me tonight?" Legolas, perhaps wisely, chose not to answer. Instead, he simply tugged me in a new direction every few minutes until we were standing on a balcony that overlooked the entirety of the Elven city. There, he pulled me to the very edge of the balcony and we both looked out. We were silent for a time, then my curiosity overwhelmed me again. "Are you going to tell me now why we came out here, aside from a splendid view?" He patted my head once before leaning on the railing of the balcony.

"You told me to tell you what it was Haldir said to me when we first entered the forest. I did not wish to discuss it in front of the others, as only Aragorn knows what he was referring to." He glanced at me then, an odd expression on his face. "And I thought, perhaps, an exchange would be better. Your story, in its entirety, for mine." I stared at him. Now I really wanted to know what it was Haldir had said, if he felt that my story would be an even exchange. I was about to agree when he added, "And, please, Rianadra, do not feel the need to leave anything out. Whatever you have to say, I will not judge you." Shell-shocked, I stared at him yet again.

"Very well. Who shall go first?" I hoped he wouldn't ask me to tell first; some luck still attended me, as he said,

"I shall. Thus so far, only Aragorn knows me for who I really am, Rianadra. Aragorn, and the Elves here." I nodded, waiting for him to continue. He obliged me a moment later, "Haldir used a name most do not use, Thrandullion. It means, son of Thranduil." My breath caught at that name. I knew that name.

"The King of the Woodland Realm. Mirkwood." He nodded, surprised.

"Yes. That is my father." I could to naught but stare at him for a moment.

"You are… royalty?" My voice was barely more than a whisper, but his Elvish hearing caught it.

"In a sense. My people do not have the same measures for such things as Men, for example." That was certainly true. "But what I wish to know is: how do you come to know that name?" I sighed. His secret was certainly worth my entire story.

"My story is long, Legolas. You may wish to make yourself comfortable." He smiled and sat down, leaning back against the railing, his pale blonde hair all but glowing in the moonlight. I settled across from him, leaning back on my elbows. "I know the name of your father because I spent most of my childhood in the deepest recesses of Mirkwood. It is impossible to reside in that realm without hearing the name of its King."

"How… You said you were from mountains?" he asked me softly, blue eyes fixed on my face.

"I am… This is difficult to speak of, you must understand. My people rarely come out and say what we are. There is a long history of fear and hatred directed towards us from the other races. In fact, it may be better for me to show you than to tell you." At his confused glance, I clarified, "Show you what I am, Legolas. For I am neither mortal nor immortal, but something in between." He nodded, watching me closely as I rose slowly to my feet. I was nervous, almost terrified. No one aside from Cri had ever seen my wings, or tail. I was frightened of showing him, for several reasons. But I forced that fear down; it would not serve me here as it had before.

Slowly, almost painfully, I relaxed the power that kept my wings and tail hidden from view. After a moment, I felt them become solid behind me: my wings stretched out to their fullest span while my tail curled around one of my legs. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see Legolas' expression now. Surely he could not hate me… Surely not!

He did not speak. He could not hate me. He could not. The fear from before came back with a vengeance; I felt my legs begin to tremble as my wings slowly curled around my body. That was when I felt him. Legolas was standing directly in front of me! My eyes snapped open, meeting his the instant they did. And I did not see anything I had expected from him. Disgust, fear, hatred, blame. Any of those I would not have been surprised to see. But none of those were what I saw.

Awe. He was staring at me with awe written all over his face, his wide eyes, and slightly open mouth. I stared back at him. "Rianadra…" Even his voice was filled with something akin to reverence. "This… You… There are no words to express how…" He seemed incapable of finishing a thought; I never thought I would see the day, but I refused to call him on it. Instead, I went on with my explanation, giving him a moment to collect himself.

"I am of the race known as the dragonlings, distant cousins to the dragons that used to live in the mountains of this world. I was born deep in the Misty Mountains, and there I lived for nearly one hundred years. I remember the majesty of those years, and the feelings of belonging. Of having a family." I paused for a moment; the emotions that threatened to keep me from speaking dissipated after a moment. "I had a family, parents, a brother. But then Men came. Hunters, thinking of us as only animals to be killed. Not for anything useful, but purely for sport. These Men killed my parents, but Cri and I were able to escape. We fled to Mirkwood, where I made a home for us. I raised him, hunted for us, and kept us hidden."

"Why did you leave?" he asked softly, his arm going around my shoulders again, gently brushing my wings. I leaned into his hold without realizing it at first.

"What I now know was the Shadow of the Ring fell over our corner of the forest. It was no longer safe for us. So we left." I slowly sat down, pulling away from him once I noticed where I was. He didn't try to reclaim his hold, opting instead to study my wings. I couldn't fault him for that. I knew they were beautiful.

Slowly, he reached out a hand then caught himself. "May I?" he asked. I nodded and extended one of my wings to meet his hand. It felt strange, but good, to have another's hand on the leathery folds. But I could not let this feeling get too far. Already, the lines of friendship were going gray. Friends. Only friends. Nothing more. I stood abruptly and moved to the balcony rail again.

"It has been long since I had the chance to fly freely among the stars, as I once did in the mountains. Without fear, just the exhilaration. The wind, the sky, the earth so far below me I could hold the trees between my fingers." I could hear the sadness in my voice, and apparently so could Legolas. He joined me against the railing, speaking quietly.

"Perhaps one day you will again, Rianadra. Yes, I know it." He turned to face me, gripping my chin in his gentle fingers. "One day, you will."