Dear Diary,

Forks was an uneventful place. It's full of trees and green things. It's beautiful in a redundant way. As we passed the along the road leading to where I'll be living, all I saw was the same images replaying out the window, over and over again. The scenery never changed, it was like some backdrop from a movie car ride. But it seemed familiar, however, I could barely remember anything before the day Phil abducted me.

I don't think Phil ever took me where the sun constantly hid behind the clouds or where one could get lost in a never ending forest. It was nice to have a change of view, especially one so drastically different then the hell holes Phil kept me in.

Somehow my thoughts were returning to Phil more then I like to admit. All the memories of me with him and pain he caused me replayed in the back of my mind on a constant reel. He would laugh me and mock me, but sometimes he would hold me when I got scared or help me when I had difficulty understanding something for school, but this was before I got a smart mouth and before he liked hitting me rather than helping me.

I try pushing him out of my brain but it only makes him stay there stronger. Edward helps though; he makes me feel calm. When I'm around him the memories of Phil ease up a bit and breathing becomes more bearable. I like Edward; he's sweet and funny and he makes me feel happy. I like Alice too; she's so carefree and excitable and she's in love with shopping. She wants to go on a major shopping spree before I go to school, amazingly I agreed and we are to set out on this endeavor within the next couple of days.

It's going to be weird not buying clothes that will make a man feel "happy", but I would rather be behind in current trends than have to constantly wonder if my clothes make me look like a hooker, which they so did!

I'm still unpacking my things; Edward and Alice are helping me. Rosalie and Emmett are stopping by for dinner tonight. I like them, too. Rosalie can be a bit distant at times, but really open to talking to me about the things I've been through. Emmett always has a comment on hand and can make me laugh in an instant.

I still miss Ayva and Kevin; my best friends. I told Charlie Dad what happened to them and he said that he would tell their parents and that there will be a memorial service I can fly down for. I know Ayva would be super excited about me finally breaking away from Phil, but I wish she were here to see me. She would be asking a zillion questions about Edward and what I intended to do with him (we're only friends). Kevin would be happy I'm happy although still a little lost as to why I'm no longer living with Phil (he always was slow on the up take), but I wish they were here, standing beside me and helping me get through this. But I have Edward, and Edward and Alice and Emmett and Rosalie and Carlisle and Esme and Dad will help me get through this.

A soft knock on the door had my throw my diary under my pillow.

"Come in," I called, and relaxed against the head board.

My room was of average size, with soft blue walls. There was a queen sized bed with dark blue sheets and purple pillow cases, a desk with a newer laptop, a stack of pencils and pens, and some books on it, and there was a rocking chair with soft yellow fabric that matched the curtains over my window.

"Hey Bella." Edward's smiled as he walked into the room made me smile.

"Hey Edward." He sat next to me on the bed and I leaned against his tall frame. We sat there for a while not saying anything. I was breathing deeply, with my eyes closed, when he finally broke the silence.

"Charlie said dinner was ready and he wanted us to eat as a family."

"Ok."

I stood up, with the help of Edward, and we headed down the stairs and into the kitchen. It was a mad house. This kitchen was small and wasn't made for seven people to eat dinner in, so we all migrated to the living room. Charlie ordered pizza, and for about five minutes that pizza occupied everyone's mouths. Then conversations started up and we were laughing and joking around with one another.

Everyone was informing me of what they'd been doing in the past few years and I was lost in their stories. They were all doing exciting things. Emmett was playing college football and scout were recruiting him for professional football, but he was also studying psychiatry as a backup plan. Rosalie was working with cars; detailing them, fixing them, and figuring out how to design new models. Alice is so obsessed with fashion that she has already started design her own line, but, so far, has only been able to draw down the designs. Edward wants to be either a doctor, like Carlisle, or a musician, so he's taking both music classes and anatomy and biology classes.

***cCc***

"Bella, you should get some sleep," Edward rubbed my arms, waking me from my light dreams. We were sitting on the couch. I was leaning against Edward and he was holding me protectively.

"Ugh," I grumbled and snuggled closer into his arms. I heard a soft chuckle before drifting back into a peaceful calmness.

***cCc***

I was sunbathing at the beach, the water playing at my feet, and my family spread around me. Alice and Rosalie were discussing fashion magazines, Jasper with Alice, and Edward and Emmett were helping a little boy with brown hair and eyes build a sand castle. I smiled at the boys playing together and getting along. It warmed my heart to see them together.

I was relaxing on the sand and soaking up the sun. I was calm and peaceful in this wonderland dream. Then an arm snaked across my stomach, scooping my breast. A hot, wet tongue licked at my neck and traveled to my collar bone and back up to my chin. Phil positioned himself above me, looking down at me with lust filled eyes.

"He's perfect Bella. Our son is just perfect."

This can't be happening. This can't be happening. Not again! This can't be happening! Please!

He pressed against me. I tried to pull away, but he leaned closer into me, pain searing through my body. I whimpered out, but this made him more aroused.

"Let's make another perfect baby…right here, right now." His mouth attached itself to my neck, sucking on the skin. It traveled down to my breast and started sucking harder.

Let this stop! Please, let this stop! I don't want this! Please, just leave me alone.

"NOOOO!" I screamed out, sitting up in a bed in my room in Charlie's house. But I was alone, and the room was dark, the moon shining bright through the window.

Charlie burst into my room, a baseball bat raised above his head, ready to strike my nightmares away. Edward was following close behind him.

"Bella, what happened?" Charlie looked frantically around the room.

"H-he, um, nothing," I stuttered, "Just…a really bad dream."

"Bella," Charlie came up and kissed my head, "I'm sorry that you have to go through this. But you shouldn't lie to us."

"It was just a bad dream." My voice cracked.

"Was it Phil?" Edward came up and held me. I could only nod; the tears were starting to form in my eyes.

"Did he…did he do anything?" Charlie asked.

"I'm tired and I just want to go to sleep." I wiped the unfallen tears from my eyes.

"Ok, we'll leave you alone then." Charlie kissed my head again and left the room.

"Night, Bella." Edward hugged me and started to leave.

"Wait," I grabbed his arm and pulled him back, "Stay with me, please?" I scooted over to make room for him.

"Are you sure?"

"Please. I don't want to be alone tonight."

***cCc***

"Are you sure you're up to this?" Edward asked.

"Um…?"

"Oh come on!" Alice pulled me into her car. "We'll have a great time!"

"You can still get out of this," Edward warned.

"NO!" Alice shrieked. "She needs to go. Please, Bella, don't back out now. Besides you need new clothes for school."

"I really don't mind shopping." I tried to sooth Edward.

"That's because you've never been shopping with Alice." He rolled his eyes.

"I'm sure I'll live." I hugged him and got into her car. "Plus, I promised.

Alice stuck her tongue out at her brother as we left the drive and pulled out onto the road. Alice bombarded me with question after question. Some were about the clothes I like, others were about my life with Phil, and some were about the most random things she could possibly think of. By the time we reached the mall, Alice knew almost everything about me and how my life was like.

Alice dragged me from store to store. I tried on more clothes within an hour with Alice than I have ever tried on in my entire life. She strapped me into every piece of clothing, every accessory, and every pair shoes she could get her hands on. She even took me to get my nails done, midnight purple.

I was having fun, despite the shopping part. But then we passed Victoria's Secret. I stopped deep, my body froze, and I must have looked like a little bird staring into the eyes of a cobra. I was petrified.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Alice asked when she realized I wasn't with her any longer.

"I shouldn't be here." I speed past the store. "I can't be here."

"What do you mean?" She ran after me.

"What if he's here, now, watching me? What if he takes me again?" I start to panic and look around. "I can't go back there!"

"Bella, calm down. No one's after you. He's not going to get you; we won't let him. You're safe with us." Alice grabbed me shoulders and shook me, slightly, but it brought me back. "Are you ok?"

"No," I shook my head. "I'm far, far from being ok."

"Oh, Bella." She pulled me in for a hug.

"Can we go now?"

"Of course we can."

This time the car ride was silent. I was stuck in my own head. I could feel the paranoia creeping up the back of my neck and tensing up my arms.

He's watching me; somewhere, somehow he's watching me.

"Bella?" Alice brought me back.

"Ya? Sorry, what were you saying?"

"Are you hungry?" She looked over at me worried.

"Umm…" right then my stomach growled. "I guess I am."

"There's a place up ahead we can stop and get something, if you want."

"That would be fine." I nodded and looked out the window watching the trees fly by.

Before it meant I was trapped, now it means I'm being studied.

"We're here."

We pulled up to a small, beige building with a bright blue roof and a black door. A large tree stood in front of the only window the building had. A large sign said "Ginna's Café" next to road. It looked old and sort of run down. It held mystery, but it was also kind of calming.

We walked in and saw that it was pretty full for a café so out of the way. Booths were overflowing with people, from families with babies to teenagers messing around. It looked like a place that I would love to take my family one day.

We were quickly seated, and by a booth of teenagers about our age. They were a mixed group, both boys and girls were crowded around the small table. They seemed to be enjoying their selves, talking and laughing. That is, until they saw that we were going to be seated next to them. They all stared at Alice, until they realized I was there, too. Then their stares shifted from her to me. One of the boys looked very brave and leaned over the booth's divider.

"Hey Cullen, got a new pet?" His friends laughed. "Is she so much better than the rest of us?"

I looked from the boy to Alice, confused. She shook her head, and looked down at the menu.

"Come on Cullen, it's rude to ignore someone when they're talking to you," The boy teased.

"Maybe she doesn't want to talk to you, Newton," Another boy called out. "Probably thinks you're a waste of her time and breath."

I left my menu forgotten, by my side. I tried to figure out this confusing conversation.

"I'm surprised she's even sitting with someone at all," A girl with blond hair sneered.

"And why would you think that?" I asked, annoyed at being left out. They all looked taken aback that I spoke to them. Alice instantly looked up at me with worry filled eyes.

"Because, the Cullens never talk to anyone outside of their family," The blond explained.

"So why do you hate them then?" I still couldn't figure out their cruelty.

"Because, it's weird," Newton replied.

"Have you ever tried talking to them, or asked them why they don't talk with anyone else?"

"No," A girl with black hair said.

"Then their social awkwardness is as much your fault as there's. They probably never felt welcome." I stood up, pulling Alice with me. "And who would after that lovely display of humanity?" I asked sarcastically. "Are you ready to go now, Alice?" She nodded and I pulled her toward the car.

"Well, that was…interesting, to say the least," Alice replied once we were back on the highway. "What came over you back there?"

"I don't like it when people form an opinion of others before really getting to know them." I stared back out the window, then turned my head sharply, to look at Alice. "What did they mean when they said that you don't talk to anyone outside of your family?"

She looked solidly out the window in front of her, avoiding eye contact, and refused to answer my question. I didn't push the matter. So, the rest of the drive was silent.

***cCc***

"Come on Bella, get up."

"Do I have to?" I rolled over and burrowed my head under my pillow.

"Yes." He laughed.

I like his laugh.

"But…but…"

"No buts, you have to go to school."

"But it's sooooo comfortable and warm here." I whined. I peaked my head out from under the pillow and saw him and smiled. "What if we go back to sleep and say that we're sick?"

"What if I give you ten minutes to get your butt in the shower, or I get Emmett to drag you to school wearing your PJs?"

"I bet it'll start a trend." I joked.

"Ugh!" He threw his hands up in exasperation. "That's it I give up."

"YAY!" I pulled him down next to me.

He leaned over me and rested his hands on my waist.

"Umm…Edward, what are you doing?"

"This." He leaned closer to my, and closer still until he was only an inch from my face. He his fingers started to wiggle on my sides and move across my stomach. I started to squirm on the bed, my breath coming shallow through the laughs.

"STOP! STOP! STOP!" I shouted.

"Then get out of bed, lazy head!" He was laughing along with me.

"NEVER!" I was trying to fight back, but he was winning. "PLEASE STOP!"

"If you go to school, I'll stop," he bargained.

"FINE! FINE!" I laughed. "JUST STOP!"

"Ok." He got off of me and watched as I got up from the bed.

"Meany head." I stuck my tongue out at him and went into the bathroom.

"Ya ya ya," he waved off. "You know you love me."

"That's what you think," I called from the bathroom.

Our banter continued for the rest of the morning, and carried on until we got to school. When we approached the plain building my stomach filled with butterflies that seemed to be on acid. I couldn't slow down my racing heart.

"It'll be ok, Bella." Edward held my hand as we walked through the main office and I got my schedule. I looked at it and saw that I had English first. "You should have a class with at least one of us in it." He leaned down to whisper. We walked to Mr. Mathew's English class together, before he said good-bye and let Alice take over.

I found a seat in the back corner of the class, not wanting any attention, Alice sat next to me. as the class started to fill up I saw the blond haired boy from Ginna's. When he spotted me, he made a beeline right for me and Alice, his eyes unreadable. He approached my desk with a kind smile before speaking.

"I didn't really have a chance to introduce myself," He leaned over my desk with a creepy smile, Phil's smile, on his face. "I'm Mike Newton."

"Hello, Mike." I said politely, but I just wished he'd leave me alone and take all the attention with him.

"Well, aren't you going to tell me your name?" he attempted to purr, but it sounded like a dying dove.

"I wasn't planning on it." I shrugged.

"Why not?" He asked indignantly.

"Honestly, I've dealt with enough jerks in my life to be able to point them out from a distance, and I just can't take someone else using me for their own personal games. I just don't trust anyone." I stood up from my desk. "Not anymore." I whispered under my breath. I left the class right as the teacher was walking in and the final bell rang.

"Excuse me. Where do you think you're going?" Mr. Mathews called after me.

I ignored him and made my way into the closest bathroom. I locked myself in one of the stalls and started to break down crying. Everything flooded back to me. Memories bombarded me again and again, over and over. The way he felt inside of me, the way I felt when he touched me, what he did when we were alone, the way he beat me, it all came back, fast and hard. The memories weren't letting me go. They were attached to me, attached to every nerve ending in my body.

I heard to door open. Soft feet walking into the bathroom and stopping right in front of my stall. I didn't stop crying, I didn't bother. I leaned forward and unhooked the latch, letting the door swing open. Alice was standing there. She wrapped me in her arms and the tears continued.

"I can't do it Alice. I don't trust them." Her shirt was becoming soaked. "They all remind me of him. They all want the same thing, if not from me, then from others. They're all pigs. I can't deal with them."

Alice let me cry. I cried until I could cry no more, but the memories remained in the forefront of my brain. I don't know how long we were in there for, but Edward was standing outside the doors waiting for me. When he saw me he held me, and just held me. He rubbed my back and kissed my head and hummed the sweetest thing I've ever heard.

After I finally recollected myself, he led me to another class, I don't know which one. He opened the door for me and walked in by my side. The teacher stopped talking and looked at us, he would have glared but with one look at me, he must have suppressed whatever chastising he planned on and pointed to seats in the back of the room. The class watched is for the rest of the class, even after the teacher's orders to pat attention. I didn't care, I was trying to focus on anything but the past.

When the bell finally rang, I instantly stood up and with Edward at my side left the classroom. But with a call from the teacher, and the encouragement from Edward, I walked back into class, with the perfect fake smile plaster on my face.

"Yes, Mr. Hays?"

"Is everything ok? At home I mean." He had concern written all over his face, like he actually cared about me, I didn't buy it. He felt sorry for me. I didn't want anyone to feel sorry for me and I didn't want anyone to want me.

"Why wouldn't it be?" I asked innocently, pushing up the wattage on the smile. I just wanted to get through this day as fast as possible.

"When you came in you were twenty minutes late to third period, on your first day, and after skipping out on your first period. You looked upset, like you were crying."

"I'm fine, I just felt a little overwhelmed. You know with all the changes; moving to a town, living on a new house, starting a new high school, making new friends. Change tends to affect me more than a normal person."

"Maybe you should see the school psychiatrist. It might help to talk to someone about this?"

"NO!" Edward interjected. "Bella doesn't need to see a doctor. She's fine."

"I just want to help in any way that I can."

"Thank you, but no thank you." Edward led me out of the classroom. "No more doctors." He whispered as we walked down the halls to our next class; math with Mrs. Jenkins.

"Class, we have a new student who just transferred from Mountain Crest High School in Montana," Lie. "And I would like you to welcome her in true Spartan fashion. Isabella Swan." The teacher started clapping and some of the students followed, but they were all staring at me. By now, though, they had probably heard about this morning's events. "Very good. Now will someone remind me where we left off Friday?"

I started doodling on my empty sheet of paper. Randomly designing shapes I couldn't really make out. The teacher might have called on me, but I didn't bother to look up. I continued to doodle the picture I wasn't really focusing on, as my mind wondered from safe topic to safe topic. I was careful not to think about any triggers.

When the bell finally rang, the picture came into focus. It was a bed, I was on it, and so was he. Eyes were looking down on us in disgusted. A shiver ran down my body and I threw the picture out as we left the classroom. I knew Edward saw the picture but he didn't say anything about it.

We walked through the cafeteria doors, and the whole room went silent. They all stared at either me or Edward, though I couldn't figure out why. I buried my face in his side as he led me to the lunch line and put food on my tray that I probably wouldn't eat anyway.

We sat with the rest of the Cullens. They all talked with so much enthusiasm. I commented on some things, but mostly I just liked watching the way they interacted with one another. They laughed and joked around, teasing and having fun in their own island. But they suddenly went silent when a girl and a boy came up behind them.

"Looks like they finally made a new friend," the girl snickered, as if we weren't sitting right in front of them.

"Looks like they don't want anyone else to have her either," the boy noted how Edward's arm was wrapped around me, and had been all day.

"Did you finally find someone up to your standards, Edward?" the girl hissed, a little jaded.

"Is she letting you do her man?" The whole cafeteria was watching us now. "I mean, that's the only way you would hang out with anyone outside of your family, right? If you were getting some." The boy glared at the us. Edward was getting angry.

"I think you should leave now," I whispered. This threw them off a little, but they continued on, as if I hadn't said anything at all.

"Would you let me ride her, for one night I mean?" the boy asked, with a vulgar motion. Edward stood up and punched the guy in the eye. The boy fell onto the ground, the girl screamed, and the cafeteria exploded in an uproar.

"Maybe we should have stayed home today." Edward said as we made our way through the crowd, out of the cafeteria.

"I think that may be an understatement." I rolled my eyes.

"Edward, Emmett, and Alice Cullen, Rosalie and Jasper Hail, and Isabella Swan please report to the Principal's office immediately. Thank you." We heard over the loud speaker.

"Great, my first day here and I'm already in trouble." I mumble under my breath.

"Welcome to Forks High," Emmett chuckled darkly.

So i acually had this chapter done at the beginning of the week, but i had a majot test today and a tone of HW and i got to hang out with my friends (which i never get to do) so i kind of forgto about this chapter, but im posting now. i hope you like it, i do. im starting to work on the next chapter now, but i have about four or five projects due within the next 2-5 weeks. then skls over and i can dedicate my time to writing, writing, sleeping, and more writing.

i love everyone who reveiws and puts this story on alert and who favorite this story. i just wanted to say tnx! *D i also want to thank everyone who reads this story. it makes me happy to know that people acually like this story. though i find it nice in a dark and depressing way, i never thought anyone would ever like it.

and sorry for the long gaps inbetween chaps. high school sux! and im just trying to get through it. so thanks for all ur pacience and understanding. ill try to update sooner. and before this rant can get any longer...

peace 8D