(*)
No limits, no lines are drawn
The whole world disappears when we are alone
That thin white cotton dress
Is blowin' in the wind
She takes my hand and the dance begins
(*)
Lucas sat starring out at the Manhattan skyline. There really was nothing like seeing the skyline from New York during the evening. Lights lit up the dark sky and thousands of people walked the streets or packed into the city cabs. It really was an indescribable place. JayZ was right in his song that New York made you feel brand new. Being there made you feel like anything was possible and that there was a much bigger world out there. He had been in New York for two months now. Brooke had pushed and tried to get him to leave and go home but he wouldn't budge. He and Maci had ended their relationship. That was a call that didn't go well. She had called him a fucking piece of shit, coward asshole and he had to admit that didn't feel so good. He hadn't meant to hurt her but nothing but Brooke seemed to matter to him. Well Brooke and the baby. He was looking forward to the appointment coming up soon where they would find out what they were expecting. Both he and Brooke were hoping for a little girl.
"I'm home. Have you left yet," Brooke said as she came through the door and threw her keys and purse on the table. Lucas couldn't help but to chuckle as he took one more look out the window. Brooke had asked him each and every day if he was leaving yet and he always had the same answer for her. No, he wasn't going anywhere and she was going to have to accept that. He had to admit it was hard being here and not being able to have any intimate contact with her. He would be lying if he said he hadn't tried but she wouldn't budge. She told him that he could stay as her friend and that was all. They did have the occasional slip up when Brooke's hormones got the better of her but that was it.
Lucas leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms over his chest as Brooke rummaged through the cabinets. "There is dinner in the oven if you're hungry."
She looked over her shoulder and smirked. She was kind of thankful to have him around when it came to dinners. He was always making up delicious dishes and she was eating well. The only complaint she had was that she was putting on more weight with this pregnancy than the last. "What did ya cook me," she smiled as she asked him.
He shrugged his shoulders and smiled back. "Homemade chicken parm and fresh salad in the fridge," he said and watched her eyes light up. He knew that was her favorite and he hadn't made it for her in years. She surprised him when she walked over and pulled him into a hug.
"Thanks Luke," she squealed. "I'm starving," she said just in time for her tummy to growl loudly, causing both her and Luke to laugh.
"Why don't you grab us something to drink and I'll put the food out," he said as he headed for the stove and she pulled open the fridge. She was looking forward to a big glass of milk with her dinner. She pulled out the salad and placed it on the counter behind her. The only challenge she had was getting the glasses from the cabinet because they were a little higher and her belly was a bit in the way. She huffed as she finally got them down.
Lucas was watching her from the corner of his eye. He didn't want to get in her way because her mood could change so quickly so he waited for her to ask for help. He was about to turn around when he saw her clutch her belly and a weird look was on her face. He was by her side in an instant. "Brooke what's wrong," he asked in a panicked voice.
She brought her eyes up to his and smiled. She grabbed his hand and placed it on her belly. "Do you feel that," she asked.
He felt the little tears gather in the corner of his eyes and nodded. He could feel his little baby in there lightly kicking. He moved his body so he was behind her and pulled her into him, never removing his hands from her belly. This was the moment he had been looking forward to and he wanted it to last forever. She smiled when he felt Brooke place her hands on top of his own and intertwine their fingers. "This is so amazing," he whispered into her ear as she nodded in agreement. After a moment Brooke broke away from being so close to him. She had other things on her mind—like the food getting cold on the table.
(*)
With every move she makes
I'm deeper than I've ever been
Holding on and letting go
She just keeps givin' in
Takin' me higher and further
There she goes again, givin' more than she takes
Cause it's more than love she makes
She goes all the way
(*)
"Brooke, Lucas," the doctor nodded as he came into the room. "Are we ready to find out the sex of your baby," he asked as he pulled the machine closer to Brooke and had her prop up her dressing gown.
"Yes," they both said in unison. "We think we are going to have a little girl and we are pretty excited Brooke said. The doctor gave her a warm smile as he applied the gel to her belly.
"Cold huh," Lucas asked as he squeezed her hand and watched her fidget slightly. She bit her lip and nodded at him.
Both sets of eyes went to the screen as the baby's heartbeat filled the room and an image appeared. "Luke, it's our baby," Brooke squealed as she took in the features and Lucas just gave her hand a slight squeeze again in response.
"So this is the head and there is the tiny toes and fingers," the doctor said as he pointed out their baby's body parts. "The baby looks to be about the right weight and size," the doctor said while putting off telling them the sex of the baby.
"Can you tell the sex," Lucas asked knowing that Brooke was getting a bit antsy waiting, but trying to be polite. The most important thing was that the baby was healthy and growing on target.
The doctor gave him a warm smile and turned his head back to the screen. Lucas leaned over and gave Brooke a sweet kiss on the lips. "You two are the proud parents of a little baby boy," he said turning back to face them.
"A boy," Brooke asked being excited but feeling sad as well. "Are you sure," she asked again and the doctor nodded and pointed out the anatomy that distinguished. "That's great," she said with a smile. She could feel Lucas looking at her but she couldn't bring herself to face him. She wasn't upset that she was having a boy, but rather had mixed emotions about it.
The doctor wiped her belly and printed the pictures for them. He left the room so that Brooke could get dressed and to give her and Lucas a moment alone.
"You okay Brooke," Lucas asked because Brooke still hadn't looked at him. She mumbled 'yeah' as she pulled her top over her head. "You wanna talk about it," he pushed.
She finally brought her gaze to meet him. She gave him a smile that he recognized as Brooke being uncomfortable and avoiding having a serious conversation with him. He knew it because he had seen it numerous times in the past few months. "Talk about what," she said as she buttoned her jeans and slipped on her flip flops. "We are having a healthy baby. What else could there be to talk about?"
He stood studying her for a moment. "About-" he started and stopped not sure how to approach the subject. She looked at him and gave him an annoyed glance, telling him to just come out with whatever had him so bothered. "About why you seemed disappointed when the doctor told you we were going to have a boy," he finally said as he sat in the chair and folded his arms over his chest.
"I wasn't disappointed Luke," she said and shifted on the table trying to find a comfortable position. "I'm happy as long as the baby is healthy it's just that we-" she said and stopped as the doctor came back in the room and handed her papers and told her to schedule another appointment.
He took hold of her hand and walked her to the receptionist area. While they were waiting to make another appointment Lucas decided to prod again. "You were saying something before the doctor came in about us. What was it?"
"Not here," she said quietly and watched as he nodded. He stood beside her and couldn't help but to stare. Brooke had always looked good but being pregnant made her glow. Her skin looked more radiant, her hair was shinier and her breasts were so much fuller. Every time he looked at her he had to refrain from kissing and touching her. It had felt like ages since he had been with her and in a way it had been. Okay so it was more like five months but that is a long time when he was with her every day. He was in such a daze that he didn't realize that Brooke was done scheduling her next appointment until she waved her hands in front of his face.
"Earth to Lucas," she said and giggled as he looked at her all embarrassed. She grabbed his hand and pulled him away from the counter. "Lets go," she said as she gave him a peck on the lips and walked through the door.
(*)
No questions, no talkin at all
Only the sound of our hearts as we fall
No matter what I need, her answer's always Yes
I only have to dream and she does all the rest
(*)
Brooke watched enviously as Lucas poured himself another glass of wine. She would love a nice glass of sweet white wine to relax but couldn't and here Lucas was pounding them back. She knew that he was trying anything he could to get some type of reaction from her but she had been able to refrain so far. She wasn't even sure how to voice her concerns to him and that had been why she hadn't.
When Brandon had died things were horrible. She and Lucas had cried for days following the accident. There really is nothing worse for a parent than losing a child. But somewhere in all of their grief they had lost touch with eachother. Both had felt guilty and responsible, therefore they walked around on eggshells with the other. The distance and lack of communication lead to their marital problems and soon they had been guessing what the other was thinking. They had both had such guilt that they couldn't stand thinking that the other blamed them, that they ended up assuming that. The fights started and the finger pointing followed soon after. Trying to be intimate had become such a chore and that had been the final breakdown of their marriage. When they let it get that far, they couldn't find a way back.
That was the fear that was holding Brooke back now. What would happen with them if something happened to this baby? She was sure that she wouldn't be able to survive another tragedy, but she also felt awkward sharing it with Lucas. Sure, it was his baby too but Brooke can't stop thinking about the words he said that ended the marriage. "I blame you. I can't do this. I want a divorce," swirled around in her head as she watched Lucas put his feet on the coffee table, place his glass on the table beside him and lean his head back against the couch and close his eyes.
"Enough," she said as she got to her feet and threw the blanket at him. She knew she startled him when she saw his body jerk forward.
"Of what," he asked as he stood. He was hoping that she was finally ready to start talking and his wish was granted.
"We have to talk," she said as he nodded his head in agreement. "I want to say everything I have to say first, without any interruptions," she said and waited for him to agree. When he did she sat back down and he joined her.
She toyed with her fingers and picked at her nails nervously. She kept her eyes focused on a piece of polish she was picking at, avoiding his piercing blue eyes. "I wasn't upset that we are having a boy, just a little uneasy. When….when Brandon died," she said moving her gaze to him and seeing the same pain flash through his eyes as her own. "We just fought and stopped communicating. A part of me died when he died and I know you feel the same way," she said as she watched him nod his head in agreement. "I know you will deny it, but deep down a part of you does blame me for his death," she said as the tears pooled in her eyes and he aggressively shook his head in disagreement.
She wiped the tears away with the back of her sleeve and finally made contact by holding his hand. She felt comforted when he turned his hand and laced their fingers together. "I…I never stopped loving you Luke. Every single day I hoped and prayed that we could work things out but I was so upset and you were angry all the time. Even when you left me," she said and sniffled as he squeezed her hand in his own. She looked back up to see the tears escaping his eyes. "Even then Lucas I was so in love with you. I didn't want to fight with you and I didn't know how to fix things so I tried to do what was best for you; what you wanted," she said as she moved close to him and pulled him into a tight hug. She finally let herself cry in his arms about everything and she felt him sobbing as well.
Lucas was the first to pull away. He pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and cupped her cheek. He pulled her face to him and lightly brushed a soft kiss across her lips. He leaned his forehead against hers and they both closed their eyes. "I love you Brooke," he whispered and felt her softly nod. "I should have never pushed you away. And maybe you are right. Maybe a small part of me blamed you just like a small part of you blamed me," he said as he sat back and pulled her against his chest and into his arms. He felt her fingers rubbing soothing circles on the fabric of his shirt over his heart. "I was so angry with myself. I'm sorry if you ever felt that the anger I went through was aimed at you. I was angry that I drove that night, that I didn't even know how to talk to you anymore and because…well I felt like you were just there because it was the right thing to do," he said as she brought her face from his shirt to look at his face confused. "The breakdown of communication in our marriage both made us assume things that weren't the truth. I need you to promise me Brooke that no matter what happens with this baby, good or bad that you always talk to me," he begged her.
"What happens if something happens to this baby Luke? What if the baby doesn't make it," she asked and saw him thinking about the answer.
"IF something happens then we will get through it together. We can't look at this baby and always wait for something bad to happen. We can't smother him out of fear either. We just love him as best as we can and not let our mistakes e made a second time. This baby deserves that much, Brandon would want that much from us," he said and watched her agree.
"When did you get so smart," she said as she snuggled into the crook of his neck. She felt his chest vibrate under her and him chuckling.
"The day you walked out of my life," he whispered and kissed the top of her head.
(*)
My baby goes all the way
She goes all the way
(*)
"Hey Luke."
"Yeah."
"Where do we go from here," she asked and looked up at him. She could see that he wasn't quite sure what she was looking for an answer. "What do you want from me," she clarified.
She saw him hesitate for a moment and knew it was only because he wasn't sure what she wanted as an answer. "I want to be with you Brooke. I want us to be a family. I want to be able to kiss you and touch you, to make love to you and not feel like we have to walk on eggshells around eachother."
He saw her processing his words and she went to say something many times, only to close her mouth each time that she opened it. Her hazel eyes finally locked with his and he couldn't help but to smile at the smile that was on her face. "I want," she started and then stopped.
"What do you want Brooke. Just tell me what you want. Don't be afraid to be honest with me," he begged her. He knew that this conversation had finally given them some closure from a chapter in their lives that had caused so much heart ache and pain for them both. He saw her face moving closer to his and when her lips touched his own he couldn't help but to gently squeeze her closer to him. When he felt her tongue run across his bottom lip he granted her access immediately. He moaned very quietly at the feeling of their tongues gently playing with eachother and the softness of her mouth. He loved when he felt her gently tug on his hair.
She pulled away and breathed heavily for a moment. "I love you," she whispered and he smirked before saying it back. "Lucas I want…I want you to make love to me," she asked as her fingers moved along his thighs. His body immediately responded to her words and he shook his head in agreement and pulled her to her feet. His mouth stayed latched to hers as they carefully stumbled to the bedroom. He knew it would be a long night for the both of them. It was going to be a night of giving his body what he had denied it of for months and a night for the both of them to show the other, physically, the love they shared.
Okay sorry I'm late with this. Between getting home, unpacking and working things have been a bit hectic! Not sure if any of you are Vampire Diaries fans but I met the cast(well the guys) and holy shit they are so incredibly sexy in person. I just about died when I touched them. Lol. But alas here is the next part to the story before I begin rambling. One of my readers wanted them to talk about their history so I changed up my original plan a bit to add this in. Hope that helps and makes sense a bit. Thank you to all the readers and reviewers. I appreciate each and every one of you. The response to this story has been incredible and you guys keep me motivated to write, so thank you so much! Review and let me know what you thought :)