Super Smash Brothers: Return
Chapter IX: The Chemical Dagger
"Ph-Phazon?!" Luigi exclaimed. "Wha-what's that? It sounds so scary!"
Samus sighed and clapped her hand to her helmet. "Phazon is a radioactive material and mutagen. That scary enough for you?"
"Y-Yes…" Mario's brother whimpered.
"This… this Phazon…" Mewtwo groaned, "it appears to have sentience. Its power is… overwhelming me… I cannot give you any help. But this gives you an ample opportunity to prove yourselves. Show me what you humans can now do… it will give me a chance to evaluate you for a later time…"
"Excuse me?!" Link cried. "My land is at risk and all you care about is seeing how well we can fight? That's pathetic, even from you!"
"Link!" Fox chastised, "We don't have the time for fighting with each other. I'll get to my Arwing, everyone else should find some way to get to the surface in case this somehow goes wrong!"
Samus shook her head and stepped towards the doors. She pressed a few buttons on her cannon, readying her gunship. "That won't work," She said, turning back towards the tawny fox. "If the meteor hits, then everyone down on the entire planet will either die or succumb to Phazon corruption. However…" She trailed off.
"However…?" Zelda prompted.
"Back on Planet Aether… the meteor hit with such force… it split the world into two halves. A Light World, where the Luminoth, the native race lived, and a Dark World, where the vicious Ing ravaged the landscape."
"A… Dark World…" Link said quietly. "The meteor… it hit with such force that it split a barrier between the worlds…" He glanced towards Zelda, who seemed to be thinking likewise.
Warning! Warning! Hazardous object approaching Planet Tednonin at high velocities! The SSB-BII's main computer blared redundantly. It seemed as though Mewtwo's psychic powers were more advanced than the Smash Station's scanners.
Object speeding at over two thousand kilometers per hour at the Hyrule Region of Tednonin. Another vessel has been sighted near it. The new arrival may impact into the incoming object. Do you wish to hail?
"Yes, thank you," Mario said to the computer, and pressed a nondescript button on the control panel near him. This activated the communications network, and opened a channel between the SSB-BII and the other craft.
"This is Mario, of the Mushroom Kingdom, please identify yourselves!"
KCXT! "Well, Mario, you certainly have no need to introduce yourself! We know quite well who you are. This is Captain Andrew of the NOAS NSider. It's a pleasure to meet you at last, should I send a shuttle so that I may board?
"I'm afraid not," Samus stepped up towards the viewscreen. "If you haven't noticed, there's a very large meteor headed towards the planet. It would be… unwise… to make a move towards us. The meteor contains a large amount of Phazon, it could be inconvenient for you if your vessel were in the way."
"Hmm…" Andrew paused for a moment. "I see. Huh… very well. I apologize I couldn't meet any of you in person, but this seems more important. I must move away from this threat, but, uh… here, I'll send you a visual of our humble craft in the event that you see us again. Andrew out." The face of Captain Andrew faded out and was replaced with a visual of the NOAS NSider.
The craft looked vaguely like an oversized sea star, with many more legs than it should have. In its center was the main pod, emblazoned with a large capital 'N', the pod bore several large crevasses that glowed a bright blue every thirty seconds. A total of ten 'arms' extended from the center of the vessel, each one contained a section of the ship, from the mess hall to the quarters to the General Discussion deck.
The image of the NOAS NSider flickered off-screen, and was replaced by the head of Captain Andrew once more. "Alright, we're going to activate our hyperdrive soon, I'll see you around, Mario!"
"Sure thing, Captain!" Mario and his brother, Luigi, answered in unison.
"Hey! Andy!" A technician called from behind the captain.
"Hmm? What is it, Bullion?" the captain responded.
"There's something wrong with our hyperspace drive! It's not functioning correctly!"
"What?" Andrew exclaimed. "Are you positive, Bullion?"
"Quite positive, sir! And with that meteor coming our way, we'll have to make serious evasive action if we want to get out of the way!
"Urgh… This isn't good… Do you have any idea of why the hyperspace drive gave way?"
"Yes sir, indeed I do! It appears that the radiation from this asteroid has knocked it out!"
BEEP! BEEP! WARNING! Nearby meteor is accelerating! It appears that it contains an unknown material that initiates a form of internal combustion power that increases its speed. New approximate time until impact: eight minutes.
"What!?" Mario exclaimed. "Then by the looks of it…"
"I agree… Mario," the NOAS NSider's captain said grimly. "The meteor will collide with the NSider. I'm afraid our only option is to jettison our crew; we've got to get them out of here. I'll activate the escape pods, the other pods will probably make it to Tednonin after the meteor hits it.
"I'm going to make my final act for this planet, if the meteor will indeed strike it, I'll attempt to lessen the blow. Using a great amount of Sterile Primary Acid Matter, or SPAM energy, gathered on this ship, we'll activate a ray that should at least soften the blow of this meteor. This is Andrew, signing off." The viewscreen turned to static as the face of Andrew disappeared from view.
"Wait, dudes, I'm confused," Roy said. "What's that guy gonna do?"
Samus groaned again, "He said that he'd try to use a great amount of SPAM energy to try and destroy the meteor. Unfortunately, I don't think that the SPAM Cannon will do much against a Phazon-infused hunk of speeding rock. It may take a bit off it, but it'll still destroy much of his ship. I'm not sure if it will impact into Hyrule, however."
Meta Knight had reentered the room shortly before Captain Andrew had been contacted. Thus, he had overheard the entire conversation.
"If that ship gets in the way," the Subspace Emissary thought to himself, "Then it could ruin the entire operation. Still, I can't think of a plan… I suppose I shall just have to see how things turn out… blast. I hate not being in control."
The command deck of the NOAS NSider was filling up with crewmembers awaiting their chance to escape the exploratory vessel from its certain doom. The escape pods were directly attached to the main bridge, which, in hindsight, might have been a bad idea. It did, however, give the NSiders a splendid view of the Phazon Meteor, (which would later be named a 'Leviathan' by the Galactic Federation), that would plow into the craft, and later, Tednonin.
Four men entered the bridge, with a fifth far ahead, leading a smaller crowd behind him. The fourth man was dressed in mainly black, as well as a hint of gray. Attached to his upper abdomen was a small, red pin. It was shaped to resemble the Hylian Royal Crest.
The four much farther behind him were close companions, and a fifth, a girl, soon joined them. The first man was wearing a suit of ebon armor with a golden trim on the upper half. His helmet had been removed earlier, revealing his face, which was softly angled, and had a somewhat untidy mop of black hair crowning his head. His name was Joe the Brave.
To his right was a close friend of his, his hair was a light golden-brown and he wore a flightsuit the color of a burning sycamore. The brown intermingled with the red quite nicely. He wore a golden sword on his back, though it was mainly for looks, as a laser pistol dangled from his hip. The man in question was Tyrminus Czarny, he had known Joe the Brave for a great deal of time.
To the left of the first man was another boy with purple hair and a deep red headband that kept it from falling into his eyes. He had a rapier on his back that crackled with electrical energy, which was his weapon of choice, should he fall under attack. He garbed himself in a tunic the color of his hair, and a cape, which resembled the wood of the mahogany tree. This man was named Narkloth.
Between and behind Narkloth and Joe the Brave was the fourth man, who seemed to blend in with the shadows of the ship. His cloak was a deep and ghostly black, with red highlights every so often down the length of the robe. His face was obscured by a hood that sprouted from the back of his cloak. If you've followed with the escapades of Joe the Brave since the original NSider, then you should know the identity of this Hooded Man. His name was actually unknown, though a sobriquet had been fashioned for his use. He was known as Shadow.
The girl who had recently run up behind the four was dressed in a white robe with black highlights around the shoulders and waist. She had a large amount of raven hair that flowed down her back to around her waist. The hair seemed to blend in with the highlights around her pelvis. Her name was Somatomay, or Soma, for short.
"So…" Narkloth said haltingly, "what's the news from the top?"
"Hmph," Tyrminus grumbled.
Joe the Brave arched an eyebrow at Tyrminus, and proceeded to enlighten the group of the events. As they talked, they slowly made their way up towards the viewport, the giant Leviathan blazing towards them.
"Well… by the looks of things…" The armored man looked towards the meteor. "I'd say we're evacuating the station."
"I can't see how you'd think that…" the man with the gilded sword grumbled and rolled his eyes.
"Now's not the time for this…" Shadow hissed, barely taking notice of Sir Czarny.
"I'm glad to see that you're having fun," Narkloth said softly, "but we honestly need to get off this place. It's going to be a ball of fire in a few minutes."
"The escape pods are waiting, are you ready?" Joe the Brave asked tentatively.
"Of course. Anyone know how we're going to destroy this thing?" Tyrminus looked about.
"Well…" Shadow hissed, "I'd say there's a large amount of SPAM being loaded into the main firing chamber. Seems like they're going to dump all power to there, and get us off this wreck."
"Are you sure there's no way we can stay and help?" Joe asked bravely.
"I'm sure," Shadow replied grimly. "This place will be dead soon. There's no point in trying to postpone the inevitable. We have to get out or we're doomed. Make your choice."
Everyone sighed, followed by Narkloth remarking, "I just hope Echoes will get out okay… It would make things a great deal less interesting if he doesn't find his way back."
"I hear you, but we're going to have to take different pods, sadly," Joe the Brave said sadly. "Shadow, Soma, you take the one on the left, Narkloth, Tyrminus and I will take the one to the right."
"Got it."
Everyone took off towards their pods, and barely managed to rocket out before the ten arms of the NOAS NSider glowed green, and began focusing energy. The Leviathan was thirty seconds away.
The SPAM Cannon glowed brighter, gathering power.
Twenty seconds.
The power was growing.
Ten seconds.
The primary cannon was blindingly bright, the energy was screaming to be released…
Two seconds…
"FIRE!" Captain Andrew called! A green light burst from the main pod and enveloped the Leviathan just as it tore through the hull of the NOAS NSider! The power of the SPAM Cannon, as well as shredding its way through the main reactor core of the NSider had torn the Leviathan down to its bare bones. It's elemental core showed slightly in some areas, though most of it remained encased in stone and metal.
Captain Andrew of the NOAS NSider was spread-eagled upon the floor of the decimated command deck. A pool of light-blue Phazon, mixed with the blood of the captain bubbled beneath him. The stone of the Leviathan had cut away more than half of his body and one leg.
…And then there was silence…
"I've… done my best…" Andrew whispered as Phazon slowly wormed its way through his veins. "Everyone… please… forgive me… I wasn't fast enough…" Andrew lurched upright, choked, and coughed out a burst of the blue mutagen. Cerulean veins spiderwebbed across his face and arms, filled with the destructive element. The corruption was now being pumped through his body with every beat of his heart.
"I beg of you all… Please…don't… think poorly… of me…" And his eyes closed for the final time.
"They failed." Samus said succinctly. "They were brave, and they tried… but the NSiders failed to destroy the Phazon Meteor."
"M-mama mia…" Mario closed his eyes in despair.
"This… can't be…" Zelda said, kneeling.
"Altea… have I failed you for the final time?" Marth said, keeping with his noble personality.
"Marcus… Oswin… Lowen… how…?" Eliwood put his hand on his son's shoulder, who was staring into space.
"Wait… WAIT!" Mewtwo cried haltingly, standing up. "The meteor… it impacted, but it didn't corrupt the entire planet!" His eyes had reverted to their normal purple hue, though a tint of yellow still remained in their corners.
"How can this be?" Princess Zelda arose.
"I would believe," Mewtwo said, regaining his air of superiority, "that the humans managed to weaken the meteor with their beam. It was a helpful maneuver, I must admit. However…" he trailed away.
"What is it?!" Link shouted.
"The point of impact was still affected…" the pokemon said quietly.
"What…!?" Link gasped, wide-eyed.
"No… father… Hyrule…" Zelda fell into her chair, sobbing.
"It would appear as though Hyrule is finished," Mewtwo concluded grimly.
"No!" Samus shouted, shooting at the wall as she said so. The bounty hunter walked over towards the two Hylians, Kursed's eyes followed her in shock.
"I'm afraid I can't let you surrender so easily!" She scowled. "I would never give up like this! You have to finish your mission, you seem to forget that we're all getting paid for this, don't you think?"
"She-a has a point!" Mario announced. "I'll be ready with protective suits by morning! You can-a investigate Hyrule then!"
Link sighed, looking ruefully at Samus. "You're not doing this for any of us, are you?"
"This is for me and me alone. I'm not saving your primitive kingdom for any of your sakes. But feel grateful that I'm helping you at all," Samus sneered.
Brave: Ha. I make a not-so-subtle reference to the unexpected death of Nintendo's official forums, NSider, in this chapter. And a self-insert? Madness! This sort of stuff will only happen once, so don't worry. I won't become my own OC here.