*Interview 9*
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the gods or goddess in this story. I do however own Tashina. Enjoy the story.
-1 hour before the show-
Tashina: (eating a ham sandwich and drinking a water) Ummmm…. Ham (smiles happily at the sandwich and took another bite)
Crew member: *walks up to Tashina looking around nervously* Tashina I have some good news and bad news for you.
Tashina: (still eating her lunch but gives the crew member her attention) And what would that be…(takes a sip from the bottle of water)
Crew member: Well the bad news first I suppose… well Artemis and Apollo could not make it today…
Tashina: (glares at him and puts down the ham sandwich) what do you mean they aren't coming?
Crew member: Well they had to go deal with something else of importance but the good news is they said that they would send a replacement.
Tashina: (pinches the bridge of nose) and who would that be?
Crew member: Well that also goes along with the bad news.
Tashina: (sighs) let me guess we won't know until the show starts right?
Crew member: (in a small voice) yes.
Tashina: Ugh fine! (Picks up the sandwich, the bottle of water and starts to walk towards the stage but stops short and turns to the crew member) whoever is coming better be good or (smiles evilly) well it won't be good for you.
-Show starts-
Tashina: -walks out and waves to the crowd- Welcome back to Greek Time! I hope you all are ready for a great show today.
Crowd: *claps nicely*
Crew member: *rushes out from the back and whispers something while, gesturing urgently*
Tashina: -pales and looks at the crowd nervously and whispers something back-
Crew member: *nods and runs off stage yelling*
Tashina: -Stands up and looks toward the crowd- Alright we have a slight problem with today's guests. Since Apollo and Artemis could not be here today they sent replacements…however they did not take into consideration who they sent. Their replacements for today's show happen to be the Amazons…
Crowd: *start to get panicky*
Tashina: I know I know and we don't have the time to remove the male audience members. So here is what we are going to do, -points to the male audience members and gives them a look that would make Zeus flinch - you are going to hide under your chairs and you will not make any sound… you will not even so much as breath loudly because if you do, you will have to deal with the Amazons and I WILL NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR SAFETY! Do I make myself clear?
Male audience members: Yes! *Start to squeeze themselves under the chairs*
Tashina: -looks around to make sure none of the guys could be seen and nods when satisfied- Ok now I believe that we can start. –Regains composure- Alright so without further ado I would like to introduce the Amazons!
Amazon Queen: *Walks out like she owns the place, wearing a deer skin top with a deer skin skirt, a bone and jewel necklace.*
Tashina: Welcome to Greek Time I hope that coming here today wasn't a hassle.
Amazon Queen: Not at all it is my pleasure to be on this show. * Smiles at Tashina* It is not all that common for us to be on a TV show because almost all the shows today are run by male hosts and have a mostly male audience.
Tashina: Well thank you I appreciate the complement –looks over crowd nervously then back at the Amazon Queen- So let's get started with this show shall we!
Amazon Queen: *nods in agreement*
Tashina: So I have to ask why do you hate men so much? I mean men can't be all that bad right?
Amazon Queen: *Glares at Tashina* The only thing men are good for is giving us more Amazons other than that they are pigs that can't do anything right. *Continues to rant about how men are the worst thing on this earth*
-2 hours later-
Amazon Queen: *Still ranting*
Tashina: -slams fists on her chair- ALRIGHT I THINK WE GET THE BLEEPING POINT ENOUGH!
Amazon Queen: *glares at Tashina but stops talking*
Tashina: Thank you now moving on, there is something that has been bothering me… why do you cut off your right breast? I don't get it.
Amazon Queen: *Gives Tashina an amused look* we do it so we can shoot our bows better.
Tashina: I shoot bow and I don't have a problem with that…
Amazon Queen: *looks at Tashina's chest and then back up smiling* Well you wouldn't would you.
Tashina: -glares- Well at least I don't have to deal with the humiliations of other Queens weighing me down… I mean I don't know which is worse, Hippolyta having her girdle stolen by Heracles or having Penthesilea killed by Achilles during the Trojan War and the two being thought of as lovers…
Amazon Queen: *Frowning and glares at Tashina with a look that could kill*
Tashina: -Smiles nicely -Ok my last question for today is what do you do with your male children?
Amazon Queen: * A neutral look appears on her face* we get rid of them. They have no use to us and we do what we must. Whether they live or die is not something we concern ourselves with.
Tashina: -looks shocked but covers it with a shrug- Well I don't approve of that but hey it's your culture who am I to judge. Well I would like to thank you for coming today and that…
*AACHOOO*
Amazon Queen: * Turns head toward the audience, spots one of the male audience members and stands*
Tashina: -Pales and stands as well- Umm this is not what it looks like.
Amazon Queen: *turns to Tashina* Then what does it look like to you? * Grabs her bow and motions to something off stage*
Tashina: Well you're seeing things…
Amazon Queen: Not likely *runs out into the audience and grabs the man that sneezed* Fellow Amazons we will take these men for mating season.
*More Amazons run out from the back grabbing any male that they can find Tashina's crew included*
Tashina: PUT THOSE MEN BACK THEY ARE NOT TOYS! –runs after Amazons trying to get the men back-
Amazon Queen: ALRIGHT AMAZONS WE HAVE ENOUGH MEN MOVE OUT!
*The amazons run out of the studio with their catch and leave a pissed off hostess*
Tashina: -Turns toward the camera – Ok all the male audience members and crew members were taken by amazon women who are going to use them for their own needs and we will most likely never see them ever again. So on that note I warned them about what would happen if they made noise and got caught. So I'm going to go get ice cream –receives glares from the women in the audience- then I'll go find the missing men after I'm done with my ice cream…-women audience members yell at Tashina- FINE I'll go now -mumbles- bleeping people telling me what I have to do so not fair. –grabs baseball bat and shotgun with a lot of ammunition- So thank you for watching Greek Time and tune in next time for another action pack show with god and goddess mayhem.
*Turns the camera off*