Nightmares
The Master: What are you doing in my lair? It's not the season finale yet.
Buffy: Oh, my bad, I'll be on my way I guess…It's just, I got all pretty and sharpened my stake and everything
The Master: Oh, alright, I suppose I could kill you now. *Munch*
Buffy: *Scream**wakes ups*
Willow: Your dad's coming? How did your folks break up anyways?
Buffy: I think it was my fault
Willow: Are you sure it wasn't your Father's raging infidelity?
Buffy: WAH!
Willow: Don't worry Buffy, your issues make you more relatable!
Cordelia: Eww! Extra, get out of my light!
Wendell: I'm not an extra; I'm a major plot device! I even have my own back story!
Cordelia: Oh puhleeze! We both know you'll never be mentioned in another episode.
Xander: Hey! Are you girls ready for more of my inappropriate thoughts about lady teachers?
Willow and Buffy: Yay!
Buffy: Hmmm…my spider senses are tingly. I wonder why?
*Wendell's desk is suddenly covered in spiders*
Buffy: Oh.
The Master: Colin m'boy! It seems Joss wants each of his Big Bads to give a long, obnoxious speech about an emotion. What d'ya think about passion?
Colin: Nah, that's totally lame.
Master: Fear?
Colin: That's more like it.
Master: Oh goody!
Joyce: You didn't sleep well last night honey. Do you wanna talk about it?
Buffy: I had that dream again.
Joyce: The one with Xander in a bathing suit?
Buffy: *Nods*
Joyce: Don't worry dear, that will never happen.
Buffy: Giles! What the hellmouth happened to you?
Giles: The stacks…the turned into some kind of Labyrinth…and David Bowie music was playing…
Buffy: Oh the humanity!
Buffy: Hey Waldo! What do you know about the spiders?
Wendell: It's Wendell, and they came out of my dream and now they're trying to kill me like little eight-legged Freddie Krugers!
Buffy: Awesome. Thanks, Wendy.
Cordelia: Hey Buffy! We suddenly have a test which I have studied for and you haven't!
Buffy: That's in no way suspicious! Let's go.
Buffy: Oh these questions are evilly hard!
Demonic Test Paper: By signing here I forever relinquish my soul to Lucifer *Write name here*
Buffy: Hey! I know the answer to that one!
Billy: You shouldn't go in there.
Laura: Why not?
Billy: Three words: This is Sunnydale
Laura: Huh?
Monster:*THUNK*
Billy: They never listen.
Buffy: So some kid in a coma is making everyone's worst nightmares come to life?
Giles: Too right.
Buffy: He really didn't wake up on the right side of the bed, huh?
Xander: (suddenly in underwear) Gah! My nightmare came true.
Willow: No. My prayers have been answered.
Fake Hank: Ok Buffy! It's time to make you emotionally insecure so that teens can relate to you despite your superpowers!
Buffy: Yay!
Billy: The ugly man is coming!
Buffy: Wendell? I thought the viewers would have forgotten about him by now—
Billy: -No stupid! The monster-of-the-week!
Xander: If we split up, we'll find Buffy faster! That's always works in horror movies! Hey free chocolate!
Scary Clown: Boo!
Xander: Ok, this is one horror movie cliche too far! *THUNK*
The Master: Heya Slaya
Buffy: You can't be here.
Master: I can! My earlier speech was so obnoxious it pierced dimensional walls!
Buffy: Oh crud.
Master: haha! Freedom! Freeeeeeeedom!
Willow: Xander, it was horrible! I had to sing!
Giles: Oh dear, this better not turn into a bloody musical...
Xander: Hey look a graveyard! And night-time!
Vamp Buffy: RAWR!
Xander: Oh no! Buffy's gone over to the dark side!
Giles: Fear not, young Padewan she'll return to normal once we restore balance to the force.
Xander: OK, who left the Stars Wars box set out in the open?
Giles: Now how do we get Billy to wake up?
Xander: I've got an idea…*POKE*
Giles: Cretin
Ugly Man: Rawr!
Vamp Buffy: Die, obvious metaphor for child abuse! Die!*THWACK**BAM!*
Billy: *Wakes up* I'm a real boy! I'm a real boy!
Back-To-Normal-Buffy: Me too! (Pause) In a girl way.
(The Little Grr-arrgh demon is shredded by Freddie Kruger in his sleep)
Readers: Oh my god! You killed the Grr-Argh demon! You BASTERD!