I don't own Castle.

Title: What My Mother Never Told Me

Rating: T+

Description: Kate Beckett didn't want to be a mother. Her job was dangerous; the thought of leaving her child alone in the world was too much to bear. However, it might be a risk she is willing to take to see what brings such a smile to Rick Castle's face.

Chapter 10 – Countdown

"Oh, come on, Kate, it'll be fun," Rick tried to reassure her and he tugged on her arm for good measure.

Kate stood firmly, her feet planted into the icy ground. He gave her a look, one that read: 'You're acting like a child' and yanked on her arm again. "Kate," he warned, lowering his eyes. She mocked his glare. He sighed and let go of her arm. She crossed her arms; he crossed his arms. They glared at each other with fiery eyes.

Finally, she broke the silence. "I don't want to go, Richard Castle."

He looked at her. She was 24 weeks pregnant. Johanna – 'Sparky' – was growing at a rapid pace. Kate couldn't button up any of her jackets so – just a couple weeks after she bought new maternity clothes – she had pondered the racks again, finally choosing a bright blue, flared pea coat. It was gorgeous and what Rick loved the most about it was, of course, the woman wearing it but also how well it showed off her protruding belly. Topped off with a cute patterned scarf, matching hat with escaping strands of long hair, and UGG boots, she looked like such a "mommy-to-be" as Lanie called it.

She was so damn cute.

Except when she was being irritating.

Like, now.

"I don't care if you don't want to, Katherine Beckett," he shot back. "You have too. It's good for the baby. It's good for me. It's good for you." He paused, gathering up courage – or, as Kate would say, balls; he was fighting fire with gasoline, after all. "I know that you're cranky about taking off a day of work but Captain Gates was all for it, you got to sleep in this morning, and I even brought you breakfast in bed! I've been very good to you!" He pouted; she tried to suppress a smile at small, but effective, man-tantrum. "You can at least do this for me. Please, Kate."

Kate unlocked her arms and was about to respond when Rick shuffled closer to her. He snaked his arms around her waist, just above her butt, and pressed her into him. He could feel her belly touch his before anything else and it gave him such a tickle in his stomach. He leaned in to her and, looking both ways to make sure no one was looking, nipped her ear. Kate's toes curled in her fuzzy boots. "Besides," he whispered hotly into her ear. "If you do, I'll make it … worth your while."

He leaned back squeezed her butt. She jolted and he smirked.

"You're mean," she affirmed and she slapped him hard on the arm. He let go immediately and clutched onto his fresh wound while Kate huffed passed him. She pulled open the door into the Baby Bird Parenting Center and she slammed the door, a mere inch away from smashing Rick's nose.

He came in behind her, chuckling under his breath. She whirled around in the front entrance, away from the public, and poked him in the chest. "Cut that crap out," she demanded. "You know I can't control my damn hormones." She felt Sparky – Johanna – dig a foot into her rib. She winced then added, "And Johanna doesn't like it either. She agrees with Mommy."

Before she had the chance to see his face of mystified wonder or absolute pride or cheesy tears, she twirled back around and stalked to the front desk.

Rick had sprung the idea on her to attend birthing classes just the night before. They were settling in for bed when he told her that he had called her in 'sick' and was taking her to parenting classes to learn some techniques for the healthiest pregnancy slash birth possible. Kate had been all for it when she was horny and just wanted to get down to the dirty business, then go to sleep.

However, the next morning as he buttered her up – quite literally – with pancakes topped with loads of whip cream, white chocolate chips, and peanut butter, and reminded her of their outing, her previous opinion immediately diminished. She huffed, crossed her arms, argued, sighed, frowned, bribed, and bit her lip but nothing worked. Rick was adamant and she knew – on the inside – that he was right. But the image of her sitting in a strongly incented, candlelit room with twenty other pregnant women, their husbands, and yoga mats was disturbing to her. It brought her back to the chick flicks she had watched as a teenager, pining lost loves with ice cream and dreams of a better future.

He somehow managed to drag her through a shower, their closest, even breakfast and then they were here. Kate did not want to go and humiliate herself … however, Rick was right. It was good for their baby, Johanna-Sparky. It was good for him. And it was good for her.

After checking in at the front desk, she and Rick were led to a small classroom, much to Kate's shock. They were accompanied by a few other couples and took their seats at a table in the front row. A couple next to them looked at them and smiled. Kate offered a small smile in return and Rick leaned over to shake the husband's hand. They were a young couple – probably in their mid-twenties. They looked so much more relaxed than Kate felt.

"… and this is my wife, Kate Beckett," Kate caught the last bit of Rick's introduction. She gave a nod and then glanced around the room. It was relatively blank, a few posters of pregnant bellies, and a single chalkboard lining the front of the room; there was a podium for the instructor as well as a few bookcases full of magazines, children's stories, and parenting novels.

"So it's true, then," the woman – Jillian, did Kate hear? – remarked. "I read in the papers that Richard Castle's badass muse-turned-wife Kate Beckett was sporting a baby bump but I didn't know whether I should believe it." She laughed and Kate offered a bashful smile. "Congratulations."

"Jill is a big fan of your books, Mr. Castle," her husband chuckled. "Our child is going to be born a detective, novelist, or serial killer thanks to you two."

The couple laughed pleasantly (and with slight morbidity) in response.

"Just Rick, please," Kate looked at the back of Rick's head as he spoke. He was so outgoing and kind to people – if Kate was going at this thing alone and by some chance in hell ended up here, she would have just shut up and faced the front, desperately waiting for the instructor. Not Rick. Never Rick. He was always the one to strike up a conversation with a nearby couple, family, or individual. That was why they worked so well together – Kate was a walled up kind of person; but Rick was the one who built doors.

The couple chatted for a few more minutes before a woman with tall heels and professional attire entered the front the room. It was definitely not the flats-and-yoga-pants style Kate was expecting. Classrooms she could do; yoga mats and incense she did not. At least, she didn't while Rick was around.

"Good morning," the woman greeted. She was about Kate's height; a Latino woman with beautiful long hair that reached her waist; her face was young and flawless; she looked in her early-twenties, though that was impossible – there was no way a woman so young would be teaching this kind of class.

"My name is Valerie Morales," the instructor said, writing it up on the board. "And I will be your weekly teacher of two-hour parenting classes starting at 9 A.M. to 11 A.M for the next sixteen weeks. I am so happy that all of you have come today. Now, I will take role and then we will start with our first subject …" Kate watched her eyes brighten. "'I am going to be a parent … where the heck did I come from?' It's going to be great!"

After lunch, Kate and Rick stumbled back into the apartment. Well, Kate stumbled from a wave of unexpected exhaustion and Rick stumbled with her because he was practically carrying her to the loft. Poor Johanna wasn't used to moving around so much so early in the morning so she kicked and turned and moved until Kate finally collapsed.

Rick led her to the couch then quickly escaped to the kitchen to get her a glass of milk she quietly suggested.

For the next two hours, Rick typed on his computer while Kate rested, her feet propped in Castle's lap. He watched her sleep for a while: the rise and fall of her chest; the 'pop!' her belly would make when Johanna kicked and Kate would shift or move slightly but she didn't wake up; the random times when she would curl her toes.

It was almost three in the afternoon and Kate was still sleeping, when Alexis walked in. She sat on the armrest of the couch and leaned to wrap an arm on her dad's shoulder. He looked up and she kissed his forehead. "Hey, pumpkin," he greeted quietly, trying not to disturb Kate.

"Hey, dad," she replied with the same volume, glancing at her stepmom, "productive day?"

He chuckled. "A bit," he offered. "I took Kate to that parenting class I was telling you about. She was … not excited at first. She was afraid it was going to be ritualistic. I didn't bother telling her that it was more-or-less just a two-hour lecture once a week." He grinned and Alexis rolled her eyes.

"I'm sure she appreciated it," her sarcasm dripping in her voice.

After a few moments of chitchat, Alexis scampered off to study in her room. Rick looked down at Kate, who was starting to wake up from her nap. Deciding to play a small game, he gently rested his laptop on the coffee table. Then he gingerly lifted her feet off his lap. He moved so he was straddling over her, high enough so his weight wasn't pressed on her at all. She slowly awoke from her nap and looked up to find her husband leaning over her, kissing her jawline.

"Rick," she groaned, blinking heavily. "I am so not decent enough to be kissing right now." He obviously did not care because he continued to kiss her: her cheeks, her forehead, her nose, and the corners of her mouth. "Oh, God, I think I feel drool." She wiped her mouth as he laughed and leaned away from her.

"You're killing the mood, Beckett," he commented.

"Who said there was a mood in the first place?" she challenged, rolling her eyes.

Before he could respond, however, there was a big kick that not only made Kate lose her breath but Rick as well. They shared a look of shock; Johanna had never kicked this hard before; obviously, she was taking Kate's side. And Kate knew it by the smirk she was wearing. "Yeah, yeah," Rick surrendered and climbed off of her. Kate pushed herself up and rubbed her cheeks, trying to wake up quicker.

After a few moments of quiet silence, Kate suddenly had an overwhelming urge to take Rick upstairs. She got up and held out her hand. He gave her a quizzical look then reached for her. She helped him to his feet and then dragged him behind her, keeping her hand firmly attached to his.

They walked up the stairs and passed Alexis's room and Martha's. At the end of the hall, across from a half bathroom, was another room that was once the guest room. Kate turned around and leaned up against the closed door. She grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him in for a sweet and relaxed kiss. Rick gently ran his fingers through her hair. After a moment, Kate let go of him and turned the knob of the door.

He kept his hands wound in her hair and she walked backwards, a strange dance. They entered a small room. Kate had stayed in here once – after her apartment exploded. She had slept in the queen bed that was now in storage; she remembered pulling back the heavy draperies to look down at her city – those had been replaced with sheer curtains that let in a lot of natural light; the dresser where her new wardrobe had stayed along with the nightstand where her badge and gun rested at night were now vacant from the room.

Rick slowly detached himself from Kate and she did the same. He slowly twirled her around so they could stare at the room together. She breathed in his aftershave and cologne while he wrapped his arms around the front of her waist. He rubbed circles over her pregnant belly. She blinked heavily because sometimes just the smallest things he did could leave her breathless; she had to make sure she wasn't dreaming.

Over the past month, they had removed the adult furniture and it had been replaced with the necessities of a baby. The walls were painted a light green. Where the bed had been before was a wooden crib; above the crib was a giant mural of a mother, father, sister, and baby elephant. In the corner by the window was a plushy rocking chair. Across from the crib was a changing station and the closet was starting to fill up slowly with little girl's clothes.

They stood in Johanna's room, her nursery, for the longest time without saying anything to each other.

Finally, Rick whispered in her ear, "I love you, Katherine Beckett."

She could feel his lips press to the back of her neck. She leaned into his touch and sighed. "I love you, Richard Castle," she murmured. He brushed her hair so he fell over one shoulder, leaving her neck and a bit of her shoulder blades exposed. He continued to kiss her and she stood there, feeling the moment, wanting it to last forever.

She was having a baby with the man she loved more than anything.

She felt happy and loved and beautiful and all the other adjectives that followed. If someone would have told her five years before that she would be standing in the nursery of her child, she would have rolled her eyes. If that same someone had said she would be standing in the nursery of her and Richard Castle's child, she would have laughed and probably shot them. But as she stood there, with her husband sweetly kissing her back in the room made for their baby, she was happy no one told her this was going to happen.

She loved the surprises he gave her.

Richard Castle made her believe in fate, destiny, magic, Santa Clause, and a happily ever after. He showed her what it was like to be loved – really loved – through anything from making love, to deep hugs, to kissing, to jokes, to laughter, to car rides, to silly arguments, to late-night dinners. She never could have asked for a better life than the one she had now. It had taken many years of pain and heartbreak but Kate wouldn't change anything.

If there wasn't a Richard Castle, there would not be a Katherine Beckett. At least, she didn't think so. Before him, she was stiff and all-business. The job would have taken her over eventually, if it hadn't already. She would have been living at her desk, drinking nasty coffee, barely eating. She would have helped people – hundreds – but she would not have given herself the help she so desperately needed.

She would have been killed eventually. Kate knew that when she started her job – in fact, she embraced the dangers and 'what-ifs' that came when she signed her life away. But then Rick came along and he changed that. He became the person she could always count on – he would show up anywhere, do anything for her if she asked.

He became her home, her family, the love that she had been missing for so long. Sure, she had her dad but her dad had a life and his own struggles to attend to. But Rick gave her that reason for living, for caring whether or not she walked home at night. Without him, Kate honestly believed she would not be living today.

"Thank you," she whispered in the silence of the room.

She felt his lips leave her shoulder. Slowly he spun her back around so they were facing each other. He caught her eye and in that moment she saw that he knew everything. She never had to say it – he already knew. He rested his hands on her cheeks; she closed her eyes. He kissed her on the forehead, then on the cheeks, then on the nose, then on the corners of her mouth. She blinked and they stared at each other for a pregnant moment.

"Thank you," he replied; he was so close she could feel his lips move with every syllable. Then, finally, he pressed his lips against hers.

There was a loud knock on the front door.

Kate licked the sauce off her index finger and called, "I got it!" and shuffled to the door. She opened it and her father greeted her with a giant bouquet of flowers. She smiled softly. "Thanks, Dad," she said quietly and smelled them. Johanna kicked her in the rib. "Anna likes them too." Her dad's eyes widened, then he looked down at her stomach.

"Did she kick?" he asked excitedly.

Kate nodded then took one of his hands; she rested on the top of her belly, by Anna's favorite rib to kick. "Come on, baby," she urged and then she felt the sharp kick again. Her dad jumped back and then, after a long shared look, he gave her a big hug.

"I'm so proud of you, Katie," he whispered into her ear.

They made their way to the kitchen where Rick was finishing up dinner. Alexis and Martha had already started setting up the table. Rick looked up from the pasta sauce as they entered, laughing and chitchatting. Kate left them to find a vase for the bouquet and Rick and Jim shared a look.

"She's amazing, you know," Rick finally said, turning the burner off on the stove. He grabbed an oven mitt and then pulled the garlic bread out of the oven. After setting it down on the counter, he fiddled around with the stove until everything was properly turned off. When Jim didn't respond, he looked up.

"Times like these," Jim replied slowly, "I know why Katie picked you as the perfect man." Rick looked bashful and rubbed the back of his neck. He mumbled protests under his breath but Jim was not having any of it. "I used to think that you, given your reputation, would eventually leave her heartbroken. But you stuck with her, even when she tried everything to get you out of her life."

Jim walked around behind the counter and slammed Rick affectionately on the shoulder. "Thank you," he proclaimed, "for being there for my baby girl."

After dinner, the family curled up in the living room. Blankets were distributed and the fire place was going. Rick was preparing coffee and hot chocolate. Alexis was helping him cut the chocolate cake he had prepared earlier in the day. Martha had to leave right after dinner – she was taking her advanced students to an off-Broadway performance outside of the city and she had to meet them at the school.

Jim and Kate sat on a love seat next to each other. Kate curled up, tucking her feet under while Jim crossed a leg. She fiddled with a loose string on the armrest of the couch, thinking about what to say. They had caught up on the drama of their lives at dinner – the construction business, annoying employees for Jim and murders, mystery, mayhem for Kate.

"Hey, Dad," Kate said quietly, remembering the class she had taken at the beginning of the day. It seemed like such a long time ago she had taken that class. Her father turned his head, confirming that he was listening. Hearing laughter in the background, Kate knew that it would be a little while before her Castle-counterparts reappeared – they were probably cleaning up a chocolate icing fight as they spoke.

"You've never told me how I was born."

Without thinking, she touched the top of her belly, next to Anna's favorite rib.

She glanced at her dad under the protection of her hair. He was smiling sadly. "It was a … crazy day, Katie," he chuckled, turning to face her; she followed suit. "I was playing a late-night basketball game with some of the guys from the office. Take off the aggression of the job, you know?" Kate nodded. "Well, it was about two in the morning when I came home. You mom was already sleeping. I remember that she was so pregnant that the sheets would never stay over her belly. She would get so cold but you would constantly kick the covers off her."

Kate smiled sadly. Boy, did she know now.

"So, I showered and got ready for bed. I swear I had just fallen asleep when your mother slapped me awake." At Kate's shocked look, he confirmed, "Yes, she slapped me over and over. She was freaking out – said her water broke. You were five weeks early, Katie. So, we rushed to the hospital. It was three in the morning when we burst through those doors. Our doctor was out of town for vacation so we had this new guy, Dr. Pomatter, come in. Johanna was freaking out."

"What about you?" Kate whispered.

He reached over and took her hands in his. He squeezed them, "I was terrified but I was just going with the flow. Need to go to the hospital? Okay, let's go. You're in pain? I'll get you some drugs. You want to fly to the beach? Sure, I'll buy the tickets." He chuckled. "I was scared stiff, Katie, and I was exhausted."

The kitchen quieted but Kate didn't notice.

"You were silent when you were born. I knew something was wrong because you weren't screaming your head off. Then Johanna passed out. All the heart monitors went off and the more doctors burst into the room. They pushed me out and didn't tell me anything." He sighed. "I was angry and scared, Katie. I didn't know what was going on. Then, finally, after about a half hour, Dr. Pomatter came out an explained that the umbilical cord had been wrapped around your neck so tight that you couldn't breathe. Johanna had started bleeding out from … somewhere … and they had to see what was wrong." He paused. "You both were okay. It was scary though. Soon enough, I got to go into the room and see you two. Your mom was holding you, touching your lips and making the most adorable face. She looked up at me and I have never seen her grin so hard in her life."

Kate could feel her throat clog. Damn hormones.

"She said, 'Look, Jimmy, look what we made. Isn't she perfect?'"

At that moment, Rick and Alexis made their appearance. Kate blinked and took a deep breath. Rick gave her a curious look and she shook her head, a silent, 'I'll tell you later.' A cup of hot chocolate and a plate of chocolate cake were placed in her hands. She took a sip of the hot chocolate and then set it down on the coffee table.

She leaned in to her father and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

Picking up her fork, she took a large bite of the chocolate cake. She moaned and then took another large bite – everything sweet tasted better now that she was pregnant. Anna kicked again, agreeing with her mother.

A.N.

Hello again! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. :) Thank you SO much for all of your wonderful reviews – you guys are so sweet! It's been such a pleasure hearing from you. So, according to my notes, there are only a few chapters left in this story. :( I don't want it to end but I already have another story lined up to work on after this one. ;) And it's going to be COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. Trust me! Haha.
Enough with the sad stuff! Haha, who is ready for a baby shower? Please look forward to it in the next chapter!

Until next Wednesday,
Lizzy