Chapter 10: Chapter 10: Ironic

A/N: Sorry for leaving you with a cliffie before going on vacation. Italy was amazing. No trip to Volterra but Tuscany is gorgeous.

Huge thanks go to Poo235, who gets my attention to detail and Beta's like the best of them. Another huge thanks to Isabel Grace and SassyGeminiMom.

I own nothing Twilight. I do own a new leather jacket from Italy. It's totally bad-ass.

This chapters inspiration:

A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic...don't you think
A little too ironic...and, yeah, I really do think...

-Alanis Morissettte

Bella POV

The subject had one word, Sorry. The sender was JB_Rabbit. I thought about it for a few moments before it came to me... Jacob Black. Delete. He was not worth my time.

Lauren POV

As I drove to Port Angeles to study, I put my hookup mix CD into my car's stereo and sang along.

"I want you to want me. I need you to need me. I love you to love me. I'm begging you to beg me. I want you to want me."

The CD mix was something I played to get myself revved up for going out. Instead of dealing with Chip and his neediness of wanting to talk, Kevin called to hang out and study. Yeah study, that is why Brian and all of his friends hang out with me. I wasn't stupid. I knew those guys talked and I knew I had a reputation. I probably would not have gone, if not for my conversation with Brett earlier in the week. Why couldn't he just tell me Jeff had moved on and was dating some gorgeous supermodel sororistitute? The thought of another girl all over him made me so mad, so freaking mad. All I could do was look for love in all the wrong places.

Since my homework for the night was lighter than usual, my parents did not care that I was out on a school night. The more I drove to Port Angeles for booty calls, the shorter the drive felt. I wished the guys would make more trips to Forks, but whatever. Guys sucked at asking for directions and they would get lost trying to find our little town.

Kevin and I studied long enough for both of us to finish our homework before we made our way onto the couch. We talked about school and mutual friends for a little bit. He had a nice laugh. Kevin was very different from Chip, with red hair in a buzz cut and bright green eyes; he was wiry and thin and not as bulky but still very muscular in all the right places.

"So what's the deal with you and Chip?"

"We hooked up. He's okay. We're not like dating. You know I don't commit myself to anyone."

"That's what I was hoping you'd say," he said, wrapping his arms around my shoulder.

Wow, way to jump right to the point, Grabby. I still have to make my 11:30 curfew. It is a school night.

He leaned in to kiss my neck before his lips made their way up to my ear and he began to nibble on my earlobe. His tongue softly grazed my earlobe. I placed my hand on his thigh and inched my fingers toward his crotch. Even in his jeans, I could feel that he was already hard. In some smooth move that I could not figure out he grabbed me and wrapped me so I was sitting on his lap facing him.

Slowly and steadily, our kissing intensified. His tongue massaged mine softly as his lips pressed against mine. His hands moved down my neck until they both cupped my breasts. Kevin's got some mad skills. Wait, what is this? One hand left my breast and travelled down my stomach before finding the waistband of my Juicy Couture velour sweatpants. Yup. Grabby hands.

His fingers inched downward until they found my sex. I was already wet with anticipation as he slipped one finger inside of me.

"Nina," he whispered.

I moaned and jerked my hips toward him. His thumb massaged my clit and I moaned again.

"Pinta," he said as he stuck a second digit into me.

"More," I moaned.

"Santa Maria?" he asked as he pushed a third finger in me and I squirmed to meet it. It was a bit corny, but holy fuck did it feel good. I rocked back and forth and he pushed his fingers deeper inside of me while he continued massaging my clit with his thumb.

"You're so wet. You want more?" He whispered, trying to find his way back to my mouth as I got closer and closer. The harder his fingers pushed inside of me, the more I bucked my hips riding against his hand. Our lips met and he slipped his tongue into my mouth and I sucked on it.

Finally I reached the point where I couldn't take anymore. My body felt its release and I quivered as my muscles clenched around most of his hand. I took in a deep breath and fell back against the couch.

Kevin pulled away and wiped his hand on his jeans while I straightened out my sweatpants.

"So, Lauren, how about one of those blow jobs you're famous for?"

Jeez, Grabby won't even let me relish in the orgasm, before asking me to reciprocate. What a jerk! "It's getting a little late. You wouldn't want me missing curfew would you?" I asked innocently, batting my eyelashes in a very Bella Swanish fashion.

"I guess not but you're going to leave me with blue balls?"

"Kevin, really, you have two perfectly good working hands. You established that. Call me later this week. Just because you hear I'm easy doesn't mean I necessarily am."

I stood up and inconspicuously picked the wedgie that had formed.

"Lauren, I seriously cannot believe you're doing this to me. This could cause some serious damage."

I shrugged and made a phone signal with my hand. Grabbing my bag and keys, I kissed Kevin on the cheek before heading out the door. Always leave them wanting more.

My meeting with Mrs. Bold was pretty uneventful. She knew I was going to UW. Everyone knew that. She did suggest a few other schools to look into but I had my heart set on UW, as well as one particular student body at that school.

After much pestering from my friends, Friday finally came. I had arranged for the costumes to be delivered to my house and I would disperse them after school. Once the final bell rang, signaling our freedom for the next 48 hours or so, we each got in our respective cars and drove to my house.

My parents, per usual, were nowhere in sight. Having parents who work in real estate meant when the economy was good they were busy; when it was not, they were all over your shit. Thank goodness people were buying their little rustic weekend retreats out in the woods of the Olympic Peninsula.

We all gathered in the living room as I opened the box.

"Now ladies," I began, "I have personally selected each of your costumes. On top of that, I spoke with Brian yesterday, and the Port Angeles party came through. Next Saturday night, get ready for the craziest party ever. Aaron's parents are out of the country for like three weeks. His house will be keg central. Halloween is sacred so consider your costumes a gift from me. You can't say no. If you say no, I'll never talk to you again." I was half joking but I didn't want anyone chickening out on me.

Bella gave me a scowling look.

"I am kidding," I said with a laugh. "First off, Ms. Angela. Now remember the theme I picked is scary sexy. You'll be a sexy witch."

I showed her the costume which was reversible; she could be the good witch or the bad witch. Knowing Angela, she'd be the good witch.

"Your virginity is going to go from technical to non existent in that costume!" Jessica remarked with a smirk.

"Now, now let's not get snarky. Angela, you can wear it with tights if you think it's too short," I added. I might be a bitch but I was not one to hate on my own friends.

Jessica shook her head disapprovingly. I'll have to talk to her later.

Angela' s mouth was still gaping as she examined the costume until she finally found the words to speak. "This is what I am finally going to use to seduce Ben."

"What!" Jessica, Bella and I all exclaimed simultaneously.

"You both said you just knew when you were ready? Well, I feel more and more ready to take that next step with him. He just needs some encouragement. Me wearing this in public, well, I think it may do that," Angela explained.

"Wow! Angela, I really didn't expect that out of you," I said. My mouth was still agape.

"Me next, me next," Jessica cried out.

"Fine –"I took out Jessica's costume from the box. "You are going to be the sexy mummy."

"Lauren, there is nothing funny about teen pregnancy!" She replied back, her face completely deadpan.

"Jess, I said mummy, not mommy."

"Oh"

We all burst out laughing. Jessica examined the costume.

"Lauren, this is the best costume ever. I love you. We better be roommates next year," Jessica cried out. We embraced in a hug. I really loved Jessica, but I had a feeling I was going to kill her next year.

"Well, Bella, that leaves your costume and my costume."

"You reveal yours first. I really hate gifts. I guess that is something you guys should know about me by now. I hate gifts," Bella stammered out. While she had enjoyed watching Angela and Jessica find out their costume choices, I could tell she was freaked out about hers.

"That is fine. Yours is really cute, though. For me, I picked what seemed natural. I picked up my costume from the box and revealed the two-piece sexy devil costume. It was so fitting.

Angela spoke up first. "Wow Lauren! Where is the rest of it?"

"This is it."

"There's not much to that costume. It'll look great on you!"

"Thanks, now finally, Bella," I said, picking up the remaining costume from the box. "I thought the red in this costume would bring out the highlights in your hair."

As I finished laying out the costume, Bella's mouth and eyes widened as she stared at me in disbelief before I could even tell her the theme of her costume.

"Great face, Bella. I think that's the exact face Jason will want to see when you suck him off," quipped Jessica.

"Bella, that's a really cute costume. I think you're really going to make a scene at that party," Angela said, trying to comfort Bella, who was still in shock.

"Bella," I added, "You're going to make a very sexy vampire."

Bella POV

Holy Crow! How did Lauren Mallory know? She doesn't know, at least not consciously. I cannot wear a vampire costume. It would be pretty much the definition of ironic. Didn't I say just a few months ago that I wanted to be a vampire? Well, not exactly what I had planned.I must calm down. My friends are going to think I am a freak.

My friends were looking at me. They were confused, not sure if I was going to laugh or burst into tears. It was a pretty normal occurrence for me. Thankfully Lauren, Jessica and Angela were used to the highs and lows that I often fell into.

"This costume, Lauren, is great. Thank you." Using all of my will, I pulled myself together and attempted to look at this from a positive standpoint. Put on an act. You are a normal high school girl. Not the girl who fell for a vampire.

We talked - or as Jessica would say, we strategized - about the Halloween party. Angela was even joining in on the discussion. She was growing more and more excited at the prospect of driving Ben wild. It was really cute. The three of them gabbed on for quite sometime, but my mind wandered off to thoughts about my costume.

While I was very excited and scared all at the same time to wear that small stretch of fabric that Lauren considered a costume, my mind was focused on trying to figure out the whole doctor thing. The last thing I needed was for Renee to talk to Charlie about that and then have Charlie attempt to talk to me about lady parts and going to doctors. Talk about uncomfortable, especially with my date coming up on Saturday night.

"Guys, can I ask you something?" They all turned their eyes on me. I hated being the center of attention.

Angela was the first to reply. She was aware that I had been quieter when they were talking earlier. "Of course, Bella, what's up?"

"My mom wants me to see a doctor for my, uh, lady parts. Have any of you been?"

Angela shook her head no and Jessica looked over at Lauren. She was the most experienced. I knew she'd know.

'Well then," Lauren spoke up, "You could always ask Jason. His dad does specialize in lady parts. It could be a real Meet the Parents kind of experience for you."

"I don't think so. Do you see a doctor for your, uh, lady parts?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I see Dr. Broder. She's great and practices right here in Forks... I can give you her number, though I am sure Jason could pull some strings for you with his dad and get you in whenever you want depending on how your date goes this weekend."

That would go over well. Hey Jason, I need someone to take a look at my lady parts. Can your dad check me out? Ughh, so creepy. What if I actually met him and he was my doctor? Hey Bella, how heavy was your flow last month? Ughh what if he discussed his patients at the dinner table? These thoughts made me cringe.

Lauren provided me with the number on a sticky note. I'd call after school next week. That would appease Renee.

"Bella, I heard you have a date alone with Jason this weekend. Is it true?" Jessica asked in shock.

"Yeah, he called earlier in the week and when I finally called him back, he was very eager to hang out. I'm not sure what we're going to do, but he is driving down to Forks."

"What? Christian hasn't driven down for a date. It's always, 'Oh Jessica, there's so much to do in Port Angeles, come up here'."

"He is surprising me with something tomorrow night. I told him his options were shopping cart races at the Thriftway or going to the diner. Oh yes, I did leave out one option, watching Sports Center on the couch with Charlie."

We all laughed about the exciting nightlife options in this small town. Using dinner as an excuse, I left Lauren's to prepare dinner for Charlie and settle in for a night of college research, laundry and homework.

Intent on completing Mrs. Bold's assignment, I researched on colleges on the East coast. So far my search results had yielded distaste for the nation's capital and weariness of Philadelphia. I had liked New York University, Boston University, Cornell, and University of Maryland. Which, although it was close to Washington, DC had a very nice campus or at least appeared to based on the photographs. I still was not sure about going out east but the idea of an adventure and being out on my own excited me a little bit, perhaps more than I was ready to admit.

With my computer still on, I fired off a quick email to Renee.

Mom,

I am so glad it's Friday. I have started my college search. Great news, I am focusing on schools on the East coast, so we'll be in the same time zone.

The girls are getting really excited about Halloween. It's funny because I haven't really thought about that holiday since I was a little kid but now it's a big deal again. Remember when you used to take me to CVS and I took forever to pick out my costume? Lauren is dictating what we are all wearing. We have to dress around her theme. Well, we don't have to, but she is pretty convincing. We are all going in scary costumes.

BTW, Lauren gave me the names of her doctor right here in Forks so no need to talk to Dad about this. Not much else new. Have a date tomorrow. Hope you are doing well. Send my love to Phil.

Love you,

Bella

I thought about my email to her. I didn't want her to know I was dressing up as a scantily clad vampire. I knew better than to give Renee the full story. Editing was good. I thought about my costume and went to my closet where I had hidden it from sight. I picked up the fangs and stuck them in my mouth. I went back to my desk and sent the email off to Renee, and then I did something I was not proud of. I went into my deleted files and found the email from JB_Rabbit. His words still stung a bit whenever I thought about them. I really had liked Jacob when I first moved here but did he have to say such mean things to me about my friends? What could I possibly say to him?

In my head, I drafted responses to Jake's email all night long and all day at work. As soon as my shift was over, I rushed home and opened my mail to stare at his email again. I was not sure whether to be mad at him or not. Surely he could think of a better way to apologize. I looked at the clock, 4:30. Jason would be here around 5:30 for our date. Better get ready and let the past be just that, the past.

I dressed casually in skinny jeans and a longer top with a v-neck. I stared down at my chest and opted to put on a push-up bra. Instead of putting on my comfortable converse sneakers, I chose a pair of ballet flats I had received from Alice over the summer. I hated to wear the things she had bought for me since each piece she had carefully selected for me only reminded me that she left without even saying goodbye. Just as I admired my own styling in the mirror, the doorbell rang. One last glance at myself in the mirror. Not bad, Swan, not bad at all.

Running down the stairs, I hoped to beat Charlie to the door. I failed. Charlie beat me. He had made it a point to come home early from fishing to meet my friend.

"Oh, you must be Jason. Please come in."

"Thanks, um, Mr. I mean, Chief Swan."

"Hey, Jason! You found the place okay?" I asked trying to intervene before Charlie began his police interrogation on Jason. "Dad, we really should go."

"Bella, it's okay. It's a pleasure to meet you, Chief Swan." Jason extended his hand out for Charlie to shake.

"So what do you two have planned for this evening?" Charlie asked as he shook Jason's hand.

"Well, sir, I was going to take Bella down to First Beach down in La Push for an evening picnic on the beach."

Crap. I had forgotten to dress warm. Jason was wearing jeans and a fleece. He looked much warmer than I was.

"Oh!" I cried out. "I better get my coat then. I didn't realize we were going to be outside all night."

I ran back up to my room to get my coat. As I came down, I overheard Jason and Charlie talking. They had moved into the kitchen and could not see me eavesdropping.

"What kind of car do you drive, Jason? I see a lot of those teenagers in really lightweight cars that tend to flip over. Of course they probably flip because you teenage boys drive too fast."

"Actually, sir, my dad just bought me a new car. Well, used car, but its new to me. He wanted me to have something safer for college."

"What did you get?"

"I got a Volvo."

Charlie let out a groan. "Another Volvo driver? Let me guess a silver shiny sedan?"

I held my breath in disbelief. Had He sold his precious car? Was Jason driving His car? What were the odds. No, lots of people drive Volvos, but Jason did just get it. The timing seemed too coincidental.

"Actually no, sir, it's a dark blue station wagon."

I let out a sigh of relief and finished descending the stairs.

"I'm ready to go," I announced.

"Don't worry, Chief Swan, I'll take good care of Bella," Jason said as he turned to shake Charlie's hand again. He did not realize the irony of his words, though it did not escape Charlie or me.

Charlie growled. "I can't tell you the number of times I've heard that one, son. I have my deputies out tonight, so no funny business," he said, shaking his head.

We said our goodbyes to Charlie and headed out the front door. I was relieved that Jason's car was different from His.

As we drove along to the beach, we talked about our week at school, our friends and college applications. Jason didn't mention Charlie's comments about his car. We made small talk and he also asked me if I was going to be at Aaron's Halloween bash next weekend. He explained how it had a very exclusive guest list and then sarcastically remarked that pretty much every high school kid on the Olympic Peninsula was planning to be there, but only those with the best costumes would be allowed in.

"Bella, what's a beautiful girl like you going to this party as? A princess? A damsel in distress? An angel? A fairy?"

"Well, I think it's supposed to be a surprise, but Lauren picked out all of our costumes around the common theme of scary sexy. So think what you want from that. I like your costume ideas better than the ones she came up with. What about you? What are you dressing up as?"

"I cannot wait. I am going as Otter from Animal House. A bunch of guys from the lacrosse team are going as characters from the movie in the famous toga party scene."

"Animal House?"

"Bella, please tell me you've seen that movie?"

"No, not really. Are you guys really wearing togas?

"Well, we are trying to. It's really going to depend on whether or not our mom's let us use their sheets or not. If not, I've got a backup costume. This is going to be some crazy party."

"You know, I really am not a party type of person. I just let Lauren and Jessica drag me along so I'm not sitting at home like a zombie."

"You? Like Night of the Living Dead? I can't see it. So Bella, what was the deal with your dad and Volvo owners?"

Oh shit. "Well, my ex-boyfriend drove a Volvo. He was sort of known for it in Forks." I had never referred to him as my ex. In my heart, He was not my ex-anything, but there was no other way to describe him.

"Voluntarily? He drove a Volvo on his own accord?"

I thought fondly of the time we had spent in his car. His fast driving, feeling safe, and Him. Why couldn't I just forget? Why did the smallest thing bring back my memories of Him?

"Jason, can we not talk about Volvos? Please." I was relieved Jason focused on the car and not the ex-factor.

Our conversation lulled until we parked at the beach.

I opened my own door as Jason pulled out an old-fashioned picnic basket along with a blanket from the back seat. He met me on the passenger side and wrapped his free arm around my shoulders, and we walked down closer to the water. As we walked toward the beach at twilight, I tripped on a rock.

I caught myself and hoped that Jason didn't notice too much. Instead of looking what would be a picturesque view, I turned my to look at Jason.

"You okay over there?"

"I'm fine. Thanks."

After making our way to a spot with very few rocks, he laid out the blanket and we sat down. The beach was deserted except for us.

"This is really nice. I have never been down here with the sun setting," I said, softly.

"Thanks. Are you hungry?"

"Yeah, I am."

He reached into the bag and pulled out some sandwiches, chips, and two cans of soda. He handed me one of each and kept one for himself. I stared at him as he began eating.

"Is there anything overly interesting about me eating? Do I have something in my teeth?" He flashed a big grin.

"Oh no. Not at all. It's just I have not, um, been on a date where my date ate in a while. My ex had a, well, he had a special diet. I was always eating in front of him. It's nice to have company." There was no way to say that He drank animal blood and, oh yeah, was a vampire.

He smiled as I took a big bite out of my sandwich. Once we finished, we took a walk on the beach. He was careful to make sure I did not trip again. By the time we got back to the blanket, the stars were out. It was a clear night for once.

"Bella, do you know how to find the Big Dipper?"

"Sure, I always used to be able to see it in Phoenix."

We sat down. I sat in between Jason's legs and he wrapped his arms around me as we stared at the stars for awhile. At some point, we stopped watching the stars and he began kissing my neck. I turned my body so that my lips could find his.

The kissing started off softly and then intensified with our tongues jetting in and out of each other's mouths. Would I ever get used to the heat and the moistness of a French kiss? I was completely turned around facing him now. His hands moved down my jacket and found my breasts. He rubbed my mounds over my clothing before his busy hands quickly found their way under my jacket and then under my shirt. They felt cold on my skin and reminded me of Him and I let out a soft moan. Closing my eyes, I did not picture Jason touching me; I pictured Him.

His hands persisted on my breasts. I was unsure what to do next. Should I touch him? I decided to mimic his movements and began to caress his pectoral muscles through his shirt. He stopped, grabbed my hand and placed it on the bulge in his jeans . His movement brought me back to reality. This was Jason, not Him.

"Stroke it," he whispered.

He took my hand in his and began to stroke his crotch, showing me what he liked. Once I started to get the pace, he let go of my hand and moved his hand back underneath my shirt.

I continued to stroke him through his jeans. It twitched and he bucked his hips toward mine. Without asking, he undid his jeans, took his penis out, and placed it in my hands.

"That is so much better," he said as he went back to kissing me.

Oh my. I am touching a penis. Jason took his hand over mine and began to stroke it up and down. Once I got the rhythm, he took his hand off of mine. As I stroked him harder, his moaning intensified. My own panties began to get wet; I was really turned on by the power my hand yielded in pleasing him.

"Harder, Bella!"

I moved my hand up and down harder and faster. My fingers grazed his tip. It was moist.

"I am going to…" Jason pulled away from me. He came on the beach.

After he was finished, he cleaned himself up with his undershirt. "That was amazing, Bella," he said breathlessly. "Do you want me to reciprocate?" he said to me in between kisses. His warm lips brought me back to reality.

What just happened? Whoa! I am not ready for that. Not yet. I was still in shock at what I had just done. If Jason's skin had not felt so cold, I did not think I could have done that.

"No, it's okay. I'm actually getting a little cold. Can we head back?"

"Sure."

As Jason drove us back to Forks, I thought about what had just happened. I could not help but compare Jason to Him. Jason was so open and relaxed. Making out with him these past few weeks was different, but tonight the coldness in his skin felt right.

Maybe it was seeing the stars tonight and getting lost in them because I knew one thing was for sure: I was more confused about Jason now than I ever had been.

Before I realized it, we were in front of my house.

"Bella, I had a really amazing time. You are so incredible. The way you, well, you know, it was mind blowing."

"It was a lot of fun"

"Can I call you later this week?"

"Sure."

"I will see you at Aaron's party?"

"You won't be able to miss me."

With that we kissed goodnight lightly on the lips. I opened my door, thanked him again for a great date and headed back inside. Despite my painfully ironic costume, I was excited for Halloween or at least the chance to spend more time with Jason. I was still not sure if I really liked him or if I just liked knowing I could please him.

A/N: So, do not hate me on the email thing. Technology can be pretty fickle. Don't blame me, blame the Hotmail junk mail algorithms.

I did do some research into costumes. Please click on the links at your own risk. Links are in my bio.