"Do you think you could try, you know not sucking so much?" Nathan asked after what had to be the eighth try of Toki recording his parts for the album.
"I'm trying my best" The younger man responded obviously getting aggravated by this point.
He was trying, it just wasn't really coming out great; it didn't help that he seemed to be distracted. He would zone out and then he'd hit the wrong chord or generally more than one and then they'd have to do it all over again.
"Dude have you even been fucking practicing with him or what?" The singer asked turning back to look at Skwisgaar who sat between Pickles and Murderface, his own guitar on his lap.
"Yeah of course I've been trying to teach the little dildos. He's been getting better."
"Really, because he sort of sounds worse right now. You sure you haven't just been picking fights with him the whole time?" Pickles asked the Swedish man.
He felt slightly offended by the accusation, he began strumming his guitar
"No we haven't been fighting, not my fault he fucking sucks right now." He shot back.
"I can hear you guys" Toki interjected.
"Oh uh sorry." Nathan said turning off the microphone then flipping it back on a second later.
"You should y'know try again, less shit this time."
Again he tried, he went from focused and doing well enough to looking frustrated and then fucking up. It was the process so far, his hands would shake and he'd curse under his breath every time he hit the wrong note. He either would go too slow or go too fast. Skwisgaar could feel Pickles staring at him like he wanted him to admit they'd just spent the whole time fighting instead of actually practicing. They had practiced, maybe not as much as they should have, and possibly a lot of the time they ended up drunk and having sex.
"I hate to say it, but he really does kind of suck. Like that show we played he was fucking amazing, but he hasn't really been that good since."
"I don't know he's all fucked up or whatever, he say anything to you?" The black haired man asked turning his attention away from their rhythm guitarist who was still trying his best to not fuck up.
"Eh not much, you know just they starved him and tortured him a lot. He seems okay."
He tried being casual about it, his band mates looked uncomfortable with what he had said; even he felt uncomfortable saying it.
"Fuck he's really fucked up, kid's probably gonna go psycho or some shit." Murderface said.
"He's not going to go psycho, he's just off." Skwisgaar replied glaring at the bassist.
The black markings had spread up to his face now, it was looking creepy and foreboding. The glowing didn't help, he still refused to see a doctor about it even though Abigail had threatened to drag him to the hospital by the back of his shirt if she had to.
Toki stopped playing, they all turned their attention back to him. He was glaring at them, arms crossed over his chest.
"I can still hear you guys, you never turned the fucking mic off. I'm not crazy."
"We didn't say you were crazy Toki, we're just you know um...Concerned I guess." Pickles said trying to avoid saying they were genuinely worried.
"You don't have to worry about me, I'm fine."
"Uh right, look just fucking forget that right now. We really need you to suck less. Maybe we should just have Skwisgaar do Toki's parts like we normally do."
"I'm not doing his work for him, he's not a baby; he can do his own parts."
"C'mon man he's obviously not going to do this shit in under a month."
"No, he'll just practice more and stop sucking."
"Hey you guys should stop being mean to him." Murderface said causing the others to stop and stare at him.
"Are you fucking serious?" Pickles asked looking like he wanted to slap the older man."
"Yes I'm fucking serious, you guys shouldn't be such assholes."
"Dude you always treat him like shit, you just fucking said he's gonna go psycho."
"Look if he goes crazy and starts killing people I don't wanna die." He whispered harshly to the drummer.
"God you are seriously such an asshole." Nathan muttered shaking his head.
"Besides weren't you the one who said we should leave him there?" The red head asked, he smirked when the bassist's face went red.
"Wait, what?" Toki asked seeming to regain interest in the conversation.
"What, no I didn't; I was the one that wanted to go look for the little fucker."
"Um no dude you complained like the whole fucking time. You wanted us to jut let him rot or some shit."
"Yeah that's how I remember it." Skwisgaar agreed.
"Wait you were going to fucking leave me there?" Toki asked his voice slightly high.
"Fuck mic is still on."
"Er not really, I mean we...It was Murderface's fault." Pickles said pointing towards the bassist.
Murderface shoved the drummer, "Shut the fuck up, he's gonna fucking cut me up now you dick."
Skwisgaar grew bored of his band mates arguing and shoving each other while Nathan sat there rubbing at his forehead while muttering how fucking stupid they were acting. He looked towards the booth to see Toki leave slamming the door shut behind him. Nobody else seemed to notice, they continued with their fighting. By the time that Murderface knocked Pickles down on the floor and they were busy punching each other Skwisgaar decided to leave and find their rhythm guitarist.
He found the younger man in his bedroom, he sat on the edge of his bed playing guitar. This time it sounded really good; like his first audition good. Back when he'd been a young boy in crappy clothes and looked scared of the men he wanted to impress. Except now he was just a bit older, hair longer, clothes newer, and he seemed more serene right now. His fingers were bleeding slightly from the hours of playing, from how hard he'd press desperately wanting to hit the right notes when he should have. Skwisgaar stood leaning against the wall for as long as he could without the other man noticing his presence.
"I get it, so you play good when we aren't around." He said smirking when Toki stopped playing and looked up at him.
"I have been practicing, I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me."
"You've never really been good at actually recording."
Normally it was because he didn't have the attention span to sit there and listen to instructions on what to do. This time it seemed like something completely different.
Skwisgaar sat down next to him.
"So do you guys really think I'm crazy now?"
"What, no; Murderface is just a dick. You know that, don't fucking listen to him."
"Not like it'd be the first time for me right?" He asked smiling sadly.
"You aren't crazy Tokis, you've just been through a lot."
The younger man kept his eyes down on his guitar.
"Sorry about before in your room when I said the thing. I know how you feel about that stuff."
"It's okay, don't apologize for that. I figured you'd be mad at me for not saying it back, it's not like I don't...Like I don't care about you."
He sucked at this, a lot.
He felt slightly more at ease when Toki looked up at him smiling like he understood what he meant.
"Yeah I know...That won't make it weird, between us; right?"
"No it won't be weird, not weirder anyway."
He kissed him, something about the action seemed to make him feel more reassured in their arrangement.
"I promise I'll get better at guitar, I'm really trying."
"I know, you'll get there in time. Do you think you could play for me?"
The brunette seemed to light up at the question, he nodded eagerly.
Skwisgaar lay back on the bed and watched him as he began to play. For the second time that day he didn't mess any of the parts up, this time he seemed happier and much more relaxed.