Ha! Kabuto-pants I have met your challenge and I have won! 10 fucks or variations there of have been fitted into one sentence! And it still makes sense! 0,o I am a genius! *Holds out hand* Kiss my ring.

Anyhow...I have three possible climaxes for this little arc of chapters. You'll hear about those at the end, but still:)

Peace out.

~x~

Deidara stomped along the road, arms folded close to his body. He was still furious with Itachi. Stupid man. Couldn't he just admit he was wrong, just once?! It was so unfair. Idiot. It started to rain. 'Great.' Deidara snorted in his head. 'Just what I need.' He watched car after car drove past, lights growing and fading as they drew near and passed. Maybe he could hitchhike? He turned, holding out a thumb. The first car drove right past, sending muddy water cascading over him.

"You bastard!" He shouted, furiously waving after the car. Another slowed, stopping next to him. It was a sleek, black car, the kind he used to travel in before he was 'kidnapped'. The window rolled down, revealing a thin, pale, smirking face. Deidara could swear he recognised the man, but passed it off.

"Do you need a ride young man?" The man asked, voice holding an odd hissing quality. Deidara knew he knew him. When the man's identity hit him, Deidara jumped back from the car.

'Oh shit.' He thought, backing away. It was Orochimaru, one of his fathers thugs. Well, thug isn't the right word. Orochimaru was a crime lord turned mercenary.

"What's wrong Deidara?" The man sneered, sliding from the car, expensive suit wrinkling. "You don't look at all happy to see me."

"Back off, un." Deidara growled. "I'll kick your ass."

"Now we can't have that attitude." He smirked, reaching out to him. Deidara moved on instinct born of living with Hidan, Kisame and Itachi. He moved to avoid the hand, pulling from his jeans the gun he had been trusted with in case of emergencies.

"I'll shoot." He warned, but Orochimaru just laughed. Deidara saw others start to get out of the car.

"You don't have enough to shoot us all."

"Do you really want to test that?" Deidara was clutching at straws now. What could he say to that? Especially when Orochimaru was painfully right. Even with a full magazine, he would never take them all out. His feet moved backwards, but he knew from experience that if you tried to run away from kidnappers, you really didn't stand a chance.

"Come on boy, don't make this any harder."

"I'm not going back." Deidara shook his head. He had been all for the idea of exposing his father before now, but when it came down to it, he suddenly felt like it was stupid.

"Who says we planned to take you back?" Orochimaru laughed that nasty laugh he had. "Your father can't afford anymore bad press, and you turning up again would be oh so bad."

"What do you mean?" Deidara suddenly felt a hand over his mouth and tried to turn, but an arm clamped around him, forcing his arms down. Orochimaru stepped smoothly forwards, going to pull the gun from his hand, but Deidara then did something that could be considered as very stupid, but also very brave. He pulled the trigger. Orochimaru yelled out, falling and clutching his leg.

"You little bastard!" He growled, glaring at Deidara with watering eyes. "Get him in the car." He grabbed the gun and threw it on the floor. "You will pay for that." He growled, as Deidara was pulled to the car. His hands and feet were quickly bound and he was thrown into the trunk. He barely had time to shout swear words at the faceless henchmen before the boot was slammed shut on him. Deidara lay in the dark, hating the irony.

'This is just fucking ridiculous.'

xoxoxoxox

Itachi picked up the gun, inspecting it closely. It was Deidara's. He remembered how terrified Deidara had been of it when they had first trusted him with it. He had refused to carry it until Itachi made him. He carefully opened it, counting the bullets. One was missing. "He shot back."

"What?"

"He's been kidnapped…again." Kisame and Hidan both gaped.

"Holy fucking hell, this it fuck fuckity fucking ridiculous, how the fuck does that fucking kid always fucking get himself fucking kidnapped all the bloody fucking time for fucks sake?!" (10, in your face:D) Hidan shouted, angrily looking at the road. "Where the fuck did they take him?"

"How should I know?" Itachi snapped.

"Looks like he took a chunk out of whoever was after him." Kisame spoke, looking at a small pool of blood.

"Unless they took a chunk out of him." Itachi felt an odd knot in his stomach, like he was going to be sick. Kisame had walked into the road, frowning.

"They must have gone that way." He pointed. "There's no sign they turned."

"We need to find them." Itachi growled.

"No fucking shit."

"We can't do anything until we know who kidnapped him this time round." Kisame pointed out.

"Well we'll just have to find out." Itachi sneered.

oxoxoxoxo

Deidara blinked in the light when the boot was opened. He had been in there for what felt like ever. The light made his head hurt as he was dragged along, but was suddenly thrown into another blanket of darkness. At least his headache was gone. Deidara inspected the room, taking in the bare brick walls and the single metal door.

'Okay, after a quick evaluation I have ascertained this much.' He thought, moving to kneel. 'I am totally fucking stuck.' He considered his options. There was only one thing he could do right then. He moved again, putting his legs out in front of him. He managed to double over so he could chew at the ropes.

Ha.

Those weird ass positions Itachi liked had some use after all. He stood with his now freed legs, looking round the room. 'Now what?' The room was totally empty save the door and single camera. 'Calculate the blind spot…' That's what Kisame has said. Deidara figured that would be in the corner it was mounted in.

He walked into the corner, waiting there for a few minutes. Sure enough, the little peephole in the door slid open, and an eye fixed on him. 'Well I know they can't see me here.' He mused, as the eye vanished. 'But how the hell does that help?' He sighed. Itachi better hurry up.

Now, this little bit will end in Orochimaru almost succeeding in his plans. But how will he plan to bump off our little blonde?

1) Drowning!...glub

2) Overly large fall!...splat

3) Good old fashioned shooting!...BANG! (That is not an instruction for you Itachi lovers! :P)