Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or company, just the characters I've created. Rumiko Takahashi owns the rights to Inuyasha.
V. Reiniku – Body and Soul
He stood on top of the fortified walls, staring down at the path where Sango's figure grew smaller and smaller. She was walking, Kirara at her side, dressed in her slayer outfit. The world outside was still dangerous since many of the lesser youkai saw their chance at getting some pieces of the cake now that the more powerful of their kind were gone. Sesshoumaru had yet to get involved in the quarrels, but soon he would. Still, that was farthest from his mind as his eyes remained fixed on the woman leaving them… him… "You can be stubborn." He glanced at his brother, whose face was a mask of disapproval. "What's so hard about telling her you love her? Need her…" Sesshoumaru's features closed off. He didn't need this woman! Why felt it like he was losing something vitally important to him then? Why did it hurt? "I know what Miroku means to me," Inuyasha went on, unbidden, driving his point home. "I'd fight for him, tell him what I feel, and believe me, it took me a while, too. I had to almost lose him to realize what's going on. You're making the same mistake, hm? Runs in the family." The youkai turned away, robes billowing, but a strong hand stopped him. Sesshoumaru glared at the hanyou. "Sango loves you, you thick-headed son of a bitch!" his brother snarled, sounding rather pissed off. "And you love her. Is it because she's human and you're afraid to feel for one of them? Well, get over it! You and she are bonded, okay? You share something and it's telling you that it's okay to feel like this!" Sesshoumaru tore himself free, eyes involuntarily going back to where Sango had now disappeared from sight. Something inside of him clenched at the empty feeling. "Go after her," Inuyasha repeated. "Now. Before I kick you ass over these walls and make you!" He gave the smaller man a surprised look. "Since when is my happiness so important to you?" he asked, clearly intrigued. "Since it also involves a good friend of mine. Go!" Sesshoumaru looked into the golden eyes that were set and filled with annoyance, then he took off. Sango hadn't gone too far, just beyond immediate sight of the palace, and he touched down before her, stopping the demon slayer in her tracks. For a moment he saw incredible pain and sadness in her eyes, but it was washed away by anger and fury. "What do you want, youkai?" she demanded. He looked at her, really looked at her, and recognized the weariness, the emotional upheaval, and the hurt. So very, very hurt. "What do you want?!" she repeated. "Why did you leave?" Her mouth opened and she stared at him, almost gaping. "Why? You want to know why? You don't know why?" She shook her head, long hair flying. "Then there's no reason telling you now!" She tried to walk past him, but Sesshoumaru blocked her way. "Why?" he repeated. Large brown eyes, swimming with hurt and pain, glared at him. "Get out of my way!" "No. Why?" "Because you're a bastard who gives nothing for anyone else's feelings! Because I thought you shared something with me, but I was so wrong! Because nothing can touch you, no one can! Because I lost too much already and can't deal with it anymore!" Sesshoumaru felt each word like a blow and her expression was so grieving, so determined and so… he had no word for it. It touched something deep inside him. "Don't go," he heard himself say. "What?" She stared at him, stunned. "Don't go." "Why? So you can continue treating me like a toy? So you have someone to warm your bed? You have enough servants who'll happily comply to your every wish, Sesshoumaru-sama! You don't need me!" Golden eyes tightened a little and he clenched one hand into a fist. He needed her. He needed this woman, not some mindless servant who spread her legs and that was that. He needed her sharp tongue, her quick wit, her loving touch… "You are… apart from Rin… the best thing that ever happened to me."
Sango's eyes widened at the words, hearing that confession from her lover's mouth. It wasn't exactly the same as a love declaration but coming from Sesshoumaru – for her it was. Her anger, still raging through her, began to evaporate slowly. "Sesshou?" she asked hesitantly, seeing the shadow of a smile playing around his lips – and then she just flew into his arms, which closed around her immediately. "Bitch…" It was a soft whisper, laced with emotions she had never thought she would get from him. She laughed, more a sob than anything. His chin rested on her head and his arms tightened minutely. "I love you, too," she grinned, slapping his arm slightly. His lips met hers – and who cared about the rest of the world.
* * *
Sesshoumaru stared at the ceiling, holding his woman in his arms. Curious, he had never really thought about her as 'his woman', but obviously she was. Sango, demon slayer, weak unworthy human woman, and his bonded mate. Closing his eyes for a second he smelled the coppery scent of her blood on his claws, and his eyes flew open again. With a silent sigh he disentangled himself from her sleeping form, and slid out from under the sheets. Looking down on her relaxed face, he carefully brushed a strand of hair off her forehead, before he turned and quietly left the room. It would be a long night – again.
* * *
Inuyasha had continued to explore the ancient halls of the old palace. Miroku had accompanied him this time, as curious as Inuyasha himself. The monk ran his hand over the exquisite carving he was currently inspecting. "This is… incredible," he murmured. "It's incredibly detailed. Very old. And powerful." Inuyasha looked at the twisting and twining dragons, forever locked together, holding what looked like a black ball. They appeared life-like enough. "There's more of that stuff all over the place," he said dismissively. "Your father was a collector." He huffed. "It's nothing but wood and stone." Miroku smiled tolerantly. "It's much more than that, Inuyasha. Each piece holds not only the work of its artist, its own history, but also the power installed in it." "Feh. It's decoration." "Only because it isn't a sword doesn't mean it's not dangerous, koishii." Inuyasha snorted again. Miroku grinned and gave him a little kiss, then continued to explore. The hanyou shook his head at his lover's interest in all that old stuff. He had been more interested in the pictures of his father, his mother… even his brother's family. Returning to one of the more bare rooms that held only a few chairs, an old table and a shelf, he rummaged through the contents of the shelf. There was a box that roused his interest. It was rather plain with a simple seal burned into it. Opening the black box he stared at its contents for a second, hesitantly reaching inside. It held two large papers, both closed with a seal he recognized as the name of his father. One of the papers was addressed to him, the other one to Sesshoumaru. Inuyasha broke the red wax seal and unfolded the yellowish paper with his name on it. Swallowing hard he began to read.
"My dear son Inuyasha, If you are holding this letter in your hands it means you have returned, and I am no longer. It also means my last mission was indeed my final one, and that you might have some questions your mother hasn't answered so far. First of all – why I sent you both away from here. I will go on a mission tomorrow and I hardly believe I will come back. If I don't this castle is no longer safe for you and your mother. I made some arrangements for that case, so you and your mother will be able to live an appropriate life. Dear son, it breaks my heart to see you both leave, after all you're just a baby, and a child should have a father to look after it."
Inuyasha let the paper sink for a moment when the signs became blurry for a second. It must have been the fight against Ryuukossei his father was talking about, the fight that had indeed killed him. He hadn't expected to come back …
"When I'm no longer here your brother will be the new lord. Sesshoumaru is so much like his mother, and I made a mistake with him – I never told him, how proud I am of him, how much I love him. I really hope I get the chance to correct that, my son; and I hope I will be able to tell you, too. Maybe you ask yourself why I chose a human mate after I lost Sesshoumaru's mother. I didn't. She chose me. You know your mother, as soft and gentle as she looks on the outside, on the inside she is like the finest sword – made of steel, sharp and protective. And oh, she knows what she wants and how to get it. That's the kind of mate the men in our family need, son, and I hope you and your brother were able to find such mates. I hope you live here in peace with your brother, at least half of the castle belongs to you. I also bequeath a sword to each of you, made of each of my fangs. The Tetsuseiga and the Tenseiga are siblings, born of the same flesh, as you and Sesshoumaru are brothers. One can't work without the other, and I hope you will be able to teach your brother something, as he will be able to teach you. One thing, my son, keep in mind – even if I am no longer, I love you. I am sorry I will not be here to see what kind of men you and your brother have become. But I am sure I will be proud of you."
"Inuyasha?" The soft voice startled him and he almost dropped the letter. Miroku had entered the room and now shot him a quizzical look. "What is it?" his lover asked. "I… found something. It's from my father." "Oh?" "A letter. He wrote me and Sesshoumaru a letter…" With that he handed over the roll of parchment. Miroku took it hesitantly. "Are you sure you want me to read this, Inuyasha? It's personal…" "Read," Inuyasha whispered. And Miroku did. Finally he let the letter sink down. "So… you're the lord of at least half this castle, hm?" he teased gently. Inuyasha snorted. "I'm not interested. Sesshoumaru is the lord material, I'm just the half-breed." Miroku wrapped an arm around his lover's waist and pulled him close. "No, you're your father's son. An heir to the great dog demon, the taiyoukai. The man I love." Inuyasha smiled slightly. "I don't want to rule. That is my brother's heritage. I just want you, at my side, forever." Miroku kissed him, coaxing his mouth open. "I'll be there," he murmured when they parted. Inuyasha held him, his mate, his chosen partner for his life. Yes, father, I found someone like you. Gentle and caring, so strong and hard like the finest steel, and a very dangerous opponent. "I love you," he murmured. "Very much." Miroku smiled and caressed him. "I love you," he replied. His eyes fell on the box with its remaining scroll. "You should show this to your brother, koishii. He has a right to read his father's words." Inuyasha nodded and reluctantly separated from the body of his lover. "Yes. Yes, he has."
* * *
Inuyasha found Sesshoumaru in the hall, where he studied some papers a servant had brought him – of course, he was a lord after all and his estate demanded his attention. Now that Naraku was dead there were not too many youkai left to endanger his position and the lesser ones were either returning to be the peaceful spirits of the woods and lakes, or they fought for dominance amongst each other for parcels of land. For now, there wasn't a direct threat, but soon he would have to interfere. Inuyasha didn't plan on sharing the power, but he would be there should his brother need his help. Sesshoumaru just glanced at him as he entered. "I found something," Inuyasha said quietly, holding out the letter that held his brother's name. "What is this?" "A letter. From our father." Sesshoumaru stared at the paper for a whole second before he reached out, taking it as if it would bite him every second. "Where did you find this?" "It was hidden in a jewel box in father's room. Did you never look at it?" "When father didn't return I never entered his chambers again." There was something in Sesshoumaru's voice that made Inuyasha's skin crawl. Could it be…? "Did you love him?" "How can you love someone who isn't there?" was the dismissive reply. Sesshoumaru was still looking at the sealed parchment in his hands. Suddenly Inuyasha realized that he didn't know anything about his brother, about the life he had lived here in the castle, being the first son of the great dog demon, his heir. He had only ever met him in battle and the few days they had spent here together, under a sign of truce and cooperation, hadn't really shed much light in the older man. He knew Sesshoumaru was able to feel emotions, he loved and hated, he experienced joy and pain, but what about his childhood, his family? He had never asked. He had never wanted to know. To him, Sesshoumaru had been brought up in splendor and with the best teachers, suffering from no harm, missing nothing. He had been the heir to his father's power. But assumptions could be so wrong. A lot about his brother had been proven wrong lately. "How about your mother? How was she?" Inuyasha now asked quietly. "She died when I was five." Inuyasha frowned but Sesshoumaru's voice had held a definite 'I don't want to talk about it' tone, and he respected that. But there was one thing he realized he had never asked. "Sesshoumaru? How much older than me are you?" Golden eyes looked at him in genuine surprise, and then Inuyasha had to pick his jaw off the floor. Sesshoumaru laughed! It was a genuine, amused laugh and the amber eyes lit up briefly. "I am twelve years your senior, little brother." Twelve…? Inuyasha stared at the other man, blinking in confusion. He had believed him to be much older…decades, actually. "Father died shortly after I turned fourteen. You were two years old, sent away with your human mother to a village our father deemed worthy of your presence." Sesshoumaru looked at the letter. "I was the new lord of the palace and all that belonged to it." Inuyasha still stared at his brother. With fourteen he had taken over from the taiyoukai… "Sesshoumaru…" The golden eyes stopped whatever he would have wanted to say. The face was a mask and nothing of the emotions raging behind it leaked through. Inuyasha just inclined his head, showing his brother he understood. "I'll leave you to read the letter alone," he only said and then left the room again.
* * *
Two weeks had passed since Sango had nearly left and matters had settled. Not that Sesshoumaru and Sango didn't fight at every possible moment, but at least she wasn't threatening to pack again. Actually, it looked like she was enjoying herself once more. Inuyasha kept a careful eyes on both and something caught his attention, something small but profound. His brother might be the complete opposite to him, but he couldn't hide everything, even if he tried or wanted to. Sesshoumaru's emotions were always behind fortified walls and he probably hadn't lowered those walls for Sango all too often, but he was slipping. There were moments when those golden eyes flared with temper, when hands clenched into fists to keep himself in check, and in one rare moment Inuyasha believed he saw a flash of red. Not good. So not good!
* * *
Sango was down in the battle court, going through some motions when she discovered Inuyasha sitting cross-legged, arms in the folds of his sleeves, on the wall enclosing the court. She frowned a little at his serious expression and, after a few more moves, walked over to him. "Something wrong?" she asked bluntly. "Sango," Inuyasha queried after a while, "when was the last time you spent a night with my brother?" Sango felt herself blush and stared at the hanyou in disbelief. She had expected this kind of question coming from Miroku rather than Inuyasha. "I don't think it's any of your business!" she snapped. Inuyasha's expression was serious. "Humor me." "Okay, if you have to know – last night. Satisfied?" He could probably smell it on her or whatever, so why did he ask? "Was he with you the entire night?" Sango looked flustered. "What has …?" "Was he?" the hanyou insisted. "I…" Sango frowned. "I don't know. He was there when I fell asleep and he … he was awake before me." Indeed, Sesshoumaru had been walking in from his bathing chamber when she had stirred. It hadn't bothered her, knowing that the youkai didn't sleep as much as a human after all. "Why do you ask all these questions?" Inuyasha sighed. "I was afraid to hear this. Sango, remember when he drove you away, his nightmare?" She nodded, feeling worry starting to blossom inside her. "It was one of the rare times he slept since the battle against Naraku." "What?!" "He can't sleep, Sango. Not without nightmares of losing control, of killing you. You know he can do it, he's strong enough." "Of course I know that, Inuyasha. But I'm not exactly a china doll either." Inuyasha smiled sadly. "Sango, listen to me. You remember when Naraku caught him?" "Yes…" "Naraku… touched him. His mind. He left something behind." "Gods…." "He can't sleep without dreaming, so he doesn't allow himself to sleep at all. When did you see him eat? Never, right? I've overheard some of the servants – he's not eating, too, just having a jar of Sake when it's getting too much. Sango," golden canine eyes turned at her with a serious expression Inuyasha looked more like his older brother than he ever had, "I never thought I'd ever say that, but – I'm worried about Sesshoumaru. He's getting volatile, snappy. He's indeed losing control. We've got to do something before he's losing it for good." "I'll talk to him." He nodded. "Thank you."
*
She didn't need to go far. Sesshoumaru was in the hallway outside his room and apparently just on his way somewhere. "Sesshoumaru?" He only glanced at her once, then turned to leave. "We need to talk!" "Not now." "Yes, now. Care to explain to me why you're lying right into my face?" Sango challenged. He stopped. "I do not lie." "Oh, you just forgot to tell me some things, right? Like you that don't eat, you don't sleep…?" The youkai turned to look at her, face closed off and dispassionate as always. "I don't require sleep and food like humans do." "Don't give me that! You eat like all the rest of us. You might be picky, but you need it. And you sleep!" His expression was a mask. "I don't have to explain myself to you, slayer." "Yes, you do! You wanted me back in your life, so deal with me in your life!" His brows dipped a fraction. "You're not my keeper, and neither is my brother." Sango growled softly, temper flaring even more. "We're worried about you!" she snapped. "Get that into your head! I love you, damnit!" Again, he turned again. "Sesshoumaru! Don't you dare to turn your back on me while I'm talking to you." Sango watched in sudden confusion as the tall figure stopped abruptly, back ramrod straight, swaying slightly. One hand stretched out to apparently keep himself from falling, and his claws dug into the wooden doorframe. Her eyes widened in utter shock as the silvery head dipped between the shoulders – -- and then the claws scratched over the wood as the youkai's knees buckled. "Sesshou!"
* * *
"Are you sure we should check on him?" Miroku asked doubtfully, while he followed his determined lover through the corridors of the castle toward their host's chambers. "Absolutely," Inuyasha replied, brows low over golden eyes. Miroku knew his mate well enough to understand that there was something worrying the hanyou deeply, otherwise he wouldn't even have thought about disturbing his brother in his private rooms. "Sesshou!" A female voice crying out in terror – Sango's voice, fear-laden. Because of the youkai? Had Sesshoumaru … ? Both men exchanged a quick glance, running in unison. The sight that greeted them when they rushed around the corner made them freeze. Sango was kneeling on the floor, the head of a more or less unconscious Sesshoumaru resting on her lap. Fearful brown eyes looked up, face white in shock. "He just – collapsed. We were talking and … just like that … Inuyasha?" The hanyou kneeled down at her side, eyes roaming over the barely conscious man. "His room," he decided and picked the slender, limp form up. Lifting his brother was no problem, but Inuyasha was shocked that, despite his height, the body in his arms felt light, almost fragile. Gods, brother, what has Naraku done to you? Inuyasha thought sadly while he carried Sesshoumaru into his room, laying him down on the mattress gently. The youkai's face was as white as the sheets he now rested on and a fine sheen of cold sweat covered his body. Inuyasha could see the pulse racing on his neck, yet the body felt cool to the touch. "You said he hasn't eaten a lot," Miroku said. "It might be just that. He fainted from lack of food." Inuyasha shook his head, worried and afraid in one. "It takes more than that," he replied. Sesshoumaru opened his eyes for a second but Inuyasha could tell he wasn't really seeing anyone. "Sesshou!" Sango's voice held worry and panic, and she struggled against Miroku holding her. "What's wrong with him? Let me … " Miroku let go of her and she hurried at her lover's side, touching his face gently. "Sesshou … koishii … " "He's very sick, Sango," Miroku said quietly. "Inuyasha, we should get Aiko. She might be able to help." The hanyou nodded and rushed out. He had heard something in Miroku's voice that he didn't like. Not at all.
* * *
He was floating. It was gray and cold and he felt – alone, lonely? Why was that? He never felt alone. He tried to open his eyes, but he didn't feel… there was a warm presence… a presence he knew, he longed for, and he struggled to get to that presence. Warm hands touched his face, a voice called his name… Sango? His little firecracker… "Sesshou?" Yes, it was her voice, but why did she sound so worried, so scared? That was wrong. His firecracker wasn't afraid of anything. He needed to see her, needed to know what had scared his woman… Forcing his eyes open minutely he could slowly make out her face hovering over him, her hand cupping his cheek. There was a wetness on her face – tears? His firecracker was crying! What made that woman cry? "San…go?" Was that his voice, all hoarse and weak? He tried to lift his hands and it felt like lead, but somehow he managed to gently brush over her cheek, touch the moisture… "Oh Sesshou…" "I'm… sorry… " His blood was rushing in his ears, the flood everything he could hear now. "Sesshoumaru… NO!" The darkness swallowed him.
* * *
Sango screamed in denial as the golden eyes closed and the body grew lax. "No! You can't!" Someone's arm was around her shoulder, pulling her away from her lover, and she struggled with all she was worth. There was an 'oof' as her elbow connected with flesh, but the grip didn't falter. "Sango!" Miroku called. "Sango, listen to me! You're bonded!" Tear-laden eyes gave her only a watery image of the man who was trying to tell her something. "Bonded," she repeated, not understanding. "Yes, bonded. Aiko told us what it means. Remember?" "Bonded," she whispered and suddenly she felt weak and like her knees were made of jelly. Sango collapsed against the strong body behind her, her brain like cotton between her ears, her limbs heavy. She was so exhausted, so incredibly tired… And then the world grew dark.
* * *
Miroku sighed and held the dark-haired woman against him as she slipped into sleep. He had never seen the bond work before, but he knew from what Kagome had told him that Inuyasha had suffered a similar breakdown when Miroku had died of the poison. Apparently the bonded partner started to pull energy from his mate immediately, trying to jump-start his own system. "It'll be okay," he whispered and stroked over her hair. Miroku lifted Sango to lay on the bed next to her youkai mate. He straightened and then walked over to a seat on the floor. Folding his legs under him, Miroku took up his position and waited for Inuyasha to return with their healer. A slight frown marred his features as he looked at the couple. * * * Aiko had arrived with Inuyasha on Kirara's back and had headed straight toward the room. She hadn't laid a hand on either Sango or Sesshoumaru, just watched them with a look of concentration, then her eyes had strayed across the room where Miroku still stood. "Did his heart beat fast?" she finally asked. "Very," Inuyasha confirmed, and she nodded. "I've seen something like it before. The heart starts pounding like a trapped bird flapping its wings, and then it only trembles before it gives out. If the trembling starts there is nothing one can do. But his life energy is being restored, which caused his bonded mate to faint. They'll both be fine, but they need a lot of rest. For as long as they sleep, they shouldn't be disturbed." "They won't." Everyone left the room and Miroku closed the door after himself. "For his condition to lead to death, the youkai must have done more than not sleep or eat," the healer went on as they walked into one of the common room. Inuyasha frowned a little. "It has been two months since you defeated the evil darkness," she went on. "He sustained grave injuries there, didn't wake for a while, and though the bond was already forming, he hadn't been able to pull more than a fraction of the energy he needed from his mate. He healed, but slower than he was probably used to. When I saw him back then, he was already showing signs of prior stress, of injuries physically healed, though his energy flow had yet to smooth out completely." "He… was injured before the battle," Inuyasha murmured. Miroku shot him a worried look. It had been his lover who had nearly killed the youkai and those wounds had been terrible. Sesshoumaru had suffered a lot back then. "His body and soul took quite a beating, so when he also mistreated his physical needs, the breakdown began," Aiko went on. "It was inevitable. Would the bond have been more balanced right from the start, his mate might have felt the changes, but as it was they were too busy fighting each other and their destiny to notice." A fine smile played around her lips and suddenly her eyes fell on Miroku. "As are you." The monk was startled. "What?" "You saw what happened in there, right?" "I…" Inuyasha stared at him, confused. "Miroku? What… what do you mean?" he demanded of the woman. She gestured at them to sit and both men did, Inuyasha more reluctantly than his lover. "You have great spiritual powers, Houshi. You were trained to use them, to control them, but they had their limits. Despite your physical limitations you surpassed what others might have expected. Still, the kazaana was your strongest weapon of defense and attack. Now that it is no more, the energy flow in your system has finally been unblocked." Miroku's mouth opened, then snapped shut again. "You saw the life energy ebb when the youkai died, right? You saw the bond come to life as the bond mate transferred her energy into him. You can feel you're different, but you don't know where to start." He nodded wordlessly. "You are powerful, young Houshi. The kazaana blocked whatever energy was stored inside you, used it itself, ate it up. What you managed to cast, it's nothing compared what's now growing inside you." Aiko held the startled, violet eyes. "You have the training to use it. Learn, Miroku. Learn."
* * *
He had retreated to one of his favorite spots in the garden, gazing at his unblemished right hand. He was still wearing the sheath on his arm and the ring that had held the seal in place. Somehow, both belonged to him. The prayer beads were now wrapped around his forearm. Inuyasha had never commented on it and all clothes ended up outside the bed anyway. Miroku could feel the change inside of him, had felt it for a while now. He was more alive than ever, more vibrant, more… energetic. He had blamed it on the bond to his hanyou partner, but Aiko's words had rung true. He knew he had spiritual powers, like all Houshi's, but to have someone tell him that there was more to them than the charms and ofuda spells… Of course, he had cast a little in the past, had charged his staff to ward off youkai, had created strong barriers, but… there was more? He would explore those apparent new abilities and maybe they would make up for the weapon he had lost with his kazaana. As deadly as it had been, it had made him a fearsome opponent for many youkai. His name had gotten around and he had been more than a mere victim, a weak human. Someone approached and he looked up, smiling as Inuyasha came hesitantly closer. His lover tried not to look worried, but he did so nevertheless. "I'm fine," Miroku said as the hanyou sat next to him. "So you're more than meets the eyes, hm?" Inuyasha asked softly. "Apparently. I can feel it, Inuyasha. I have felt it for a while, but never thought it might be something on the spiritual power level. I'll have to test it all." Inuyasha nodded. "Anything on Sesshoumaru or Sango?" "No. Kagome and Shippo asked, too. They're worried, but I told them to leave the two alone until they wake." Miroku leaned against the strong body at his side and Inuyasha wrapped an arm around him. "So much has changed; we have changed." "Yeah." "I'd like to go and visit Mushin, tell him that the curse is gone. Maybe ask him if he knows about this new energy inside me." Inuyasha rested his head on the black hair. "Not so new if I understood Aiko right. It has always been there. The air hole just… sucked it up." A nod. "And we'll go to Mushin together, koishii," Inuyasha added. "Thank you." He relaxed against his lover, eyes on the peaceful pond with its colorful fish. Inuyasha's hands caressed him gently, soothing and reassuring.
* * *
She woke slowly, feeling rather relaxed and heavy, like after a good night's sleep. Sango lazily opened her eyes. She was in their shared bedroom, she felt the warm presence beside her, and rolled around to meet the amber eyes of her partner, who had probably been either awake already or hadn't slept at all. And then the memories returned. With a gasp she sat up, her heart hammering her chest, her breathing quickening. She raked her eyes over the man at her side, saw the rise and fall of his chest, the color in his cheeks, took in the life and warmth. "Sesshou?" she whispered and stretched out a hand to touch him. He was alive. But she had seen and felt him die. Then she had… fainted? Sango had never fainted in all her life! Sesshoumaru made a soft sound and suddenly his eyes opened. As usual, he was awake from one second to the next. Their eyes met and his forehead wrinkled in a little frown of confusion. "Sango?" he queried. He had died in her arms; his heart had stopped beating. He had neglected himself, his body, his mind and his soul, he had killed himself because of it… he had… died… "You bastard!" she yelled, all her emotions breaking out of her in one big wave. "You stupid, irresponsible idiot!" He blinked at her, his face briefly marred by confusion, then displeasure reached his eyes. "Why?" Sango raged. "Why did you do it? You asshole! You careless son-of-a-bitch!" "What are you talking about, slayer?" he demanded, sitting up. For a moment it looked like he would just collapse again, but sheer willpower kept him in a sitting position. "What am I talking about? You! Baka! Why didn't you talk to me? Why did you lie to me?!" He grabbed her, but Sango easily tore out of his still weak grasp. "You killed yourself out of negligence!" she hissed. "You took your own life because you were stupid! Why didn't you tell me about the nightmares, hm? Why?" Sesshoumaru's eyes widened fractionally and his whole face closed off, the usual, almost bored and dispassionate expression slipped on instead. "Don't give me that look!" she yelled. "I'm your partner! I'm your bonded mate! Do you know what your death did to me? Do you know how that makes me feel? I love you, you irresponsible moron! Why couldn't you tell me?" Sesshoumaru gazed at her and suddenly part of the indifferent mask slipped. "Because I'm not used to it," he said softly. Sango blinked. "Used to what? Someone sharing your life? Someone who's more than a warm body?" "Nightmares." She stared at him. "You… don't get nightmares?" "No." "But…" She deflated a little. Sesshoumaru had never had nightmares before? "We dream," the youkai explained evenly. "We have good and bad dreams, but never nightmares." "But why did you try to hide it from me?" she wanted to know. That drew a little sigh. "I thought they would go away." "Oh, Sesshou," she whispered, touching his cheek with one hand. "You killed yourself by trying to deal with this alone." "I never wanted it to come to this." "But it did. Because you didn't trust me." He shook his head and pulled her closer. "No. I trust you. I just… thought I could resolve it on my own." "Baka," she murmured. "Stupid idiot." "Bitch," he replied equally soft. "Promise me… promise me you'll talk to me about this. Please? I want to… need to know, Sesshou. I don't want you sick. I don't want Naraku to win after all." He drew her into a tight embrace and kissed her head. "He'll never win." "He already did. You died on me, Sesshoumaru." He buried his head in her dark hair and hugged her close. "You brought me back," the youkai said after a while. "The bond brought you back." They sat together, Sango just savoring his warm, alive presence. After a while she craned her neck and looked into his dark golden eyes. "You might want to look after Rin, Sesshou," Sango said softly. "Rin?" "She thinks you don't love her anymore." "Why would she think such a thing?" "You weren't exactly yourself the last few days. You snapped at her, and she was crying." That startled him. "She… cried?" "Yes." "I see." "You'll talk to her?" "I will. But right now, I just want to be with you." Sango smiled and relaxed against him once more. It was what she wanted, too.
* * *
The others showed different reactions to Sesshoumaru's 'stunt'. Miroku just nodded at him, giving him a once-over, not unlike the healer had done when she had come to their room. Sesshoumaru had suffered the old woman's scrutiny, but he had been close to just tossing her out of the room. Inuyasha glared at him. "Damn bastard," his brother growled, but there was relief in his eyes. "You do that again and I'll personally make sure you won't get off that easily as you did this time." Sesshoumaru acknowledged the threat with a mild frown. Kagome was simply happy to see him, asking about how he felt. He gave her a short, dismissive answer. Right now, he had someone else to talk to.
He didn't need long to find his 'daughter'. Since Jaken had been killed, the only one she used to lean onto was his dragon Aun. She had been around him, but ever since their final battle against Naraku, she had pulled back. Sesshoumaru hadn't noticed at first, but now he did all the more so. Silently stepping into the stable he immediately heard her talking to he two-headed beast which snorted every now and then sympathetically. Sesshoumaru felt something inside of him cringe at her voice – she sounded so small, so lost. Sango had been right. "I don't know what I have done that makes Sesshoumaru-sama not like me anymore, Aun. He didn't say anything." Aun rumbled. "If he doesn't want me here anymore – what shall I do?" Aun snorted, his breath whispering through her long black hair. So much like Sango's … "Rin." She whirled around, eyes widening slightly when she saw him standing behind her. There was something glistening in those brown depths – she was afraid. Rin never was afraid, never showed it openly. "Sesshoumaru-sama." "Aun needs to stretch his legs. You might want to take him out." And then there was this smile again, wide, open, that smile that had caught his heart the very instant he had seen it the first time. She had seen him as a demon and hadn't backed down, on the contrary. She had been beaten and still continued to bring him food, though he hadn't touched it. And she had been happy just to be with him, had trusted him to come back to her every time, no matter what. Just being with him … like now. She had thought he didn't want her around anymore, and that had almost broken her little heart, but one word from him and she was radiating happiness. Rin had turned to get Aun's reins, was currently scratching the large beast behind one of its ears. Enthralling little girl … so loving, so forgiving. Sesshoumaru stretched out his hand and slightly stroked over her head once. She froze. Of course, he had never touched her, at least when she was conscious. "Rin." "Sesshoumaru-sama?" "This is your home. As long as you want it." Leaving the stable he heard her shocked whisper "Sesshoumaru-sama… "
* * *
"Finals are coming up and I've got to go back." Kagome looked at Inuyasha, needing him to understand that this was more than just a test. This was her final year in school and while she had been as absent as usual, she had at least gotten better grades than the last year. She really needed to be there for exams. The hanyou nodded. "It's okay." "Really?" He frowned. "What do you mean?" "The last few times you nearly had a coronary…" "Keh," he huffed, but there was a twinkle in his eyes, something that hadn't been there just a few months ago. "When will you leave?" "Tomorrow. I'll be back in two weeks."
Returning to the well had been an opportunity for everyone to visit Kaede, to talk to her about what had happened, how Naraku had been defeated, and to catch up on what was going on outside the palace walls. Sesshoumaru's spies were still bringing back news, but to hear it from the humans living off the land was something different. The old woman was only mildly surprised by their visitors. The news as to how Naraku had been defeated stunned her, though. "Sesshoumaru, hm?" she murmured, looking at Inuyasha. The hanyou shrugged. "He is the most powerful youkai now," Kaede added. "So?" "What can we expect?" The golden eyes narrowed a bit. "You think he'll continue what Naraku started?" he challenged. "He's a youkai." Teeth clenched. "He won't. He never wanted to." Kaede inclined her head. "For someone who tried to kill you on numerous occasions, you sure defend him, Inuyasha." "We've come to an understanding, old woman," he snapped and rose. "And if he starts getting out of line, you can be sure I'll kick his ass." Kaede smiled slightly and Inuyasha just stormed away, angered and slightly embarrassed by his outbreak. Miroku was at the well with Kagome, Shippo and Sango, and he frowned slightly as his lover appeared. "Old hag," Inuyasha muttered. "What's wrong?" Kagome asked. "Kaede thinks Sesshoumaru will start his own conquest of the land now that he's the most powerful youkai." Sango's features froze and her lips thinned. "He wouldn't," Kagome decided, voice even. "No, he wouldn't." Inuyasha pushed the anger away. "It's just something we have to deal with. You should go now. Your exams…" She nodded and hugged him. "See you in two weeks, okay?" He returned the embrace and Kagome smiled, then said her good-byes to the others. "Leaving?" a new voice asked and she turned around, a smile flying over her lips. "Koga!" Inuyasha looked at his former rival. He had smelled him coming, but he hadn't announced his presence. Now he schooled his features in a scowl. "What do you want, wolf?" he demanded. Koga grinned insolently, readily falling into the old game. "Saying good-bye to my woman." Inuyasha made a show of bristling. "Now listen here, you overgrown pup…" Koga snorted. "Look who's talking, dog face. You're nothing but a teethless puppy anyway." Sango sighed and leaned back against the well, Miroku at her side, Shippo sitting on the ledge, all three watching the two fighters with amused tolerance. Kagome simply shook her head. "Who're you calling teethless, wimpy wolf? I'll wipe the ground with you when I'm done!" "Big talk and no actions," Koga mocked. Kagome stepped between the two fighters and placed a hand on each man's chest, keeping them apart, though she would have no chance if either decided to use some more force. "Guys, please! I need to go, so please calm it down, okay?" Inuyasha huffed. "He started it." Koga laughed mockingly. "My woman saves your hide again, puppy." Kagome turned to the wolf youkai and smiled at him. When Koga smiled back, all his posturing gone from one second to the next, she felt warmth curl in her stomach. "Promise me you'll be there when I come back," she said softly. Don't do anything foolish, she thought fervently, her eyes relaying her thoughts. Don't get yourself killed over a minor matter. Live for me, Koga. The last she whispered so softly, only his sharp ears picked it up. He smiled slightly. "I promise, Kagome." Her hand cupped his cheek. "Thank you." Inuyasha had stepped back, giving them room. A smile played in his eyes and he felt a brief touch against the small of his back. Glancing at Miroku, he caught the same smile. Koga and Kagome finally separated and she picked up her backpack. "See you guys in two weeks!" Her eyes fell on Inuyasha. "And don't you dare come after me!" "Wouldn't dream of it." And then Kagome jumped into the well that connected the two worlds.