Hey guys, my apologies for the huuuuge delay. Hope this chapter makes up for it :)

"Egypt..."

That's not in New York, is it? That's not even in this galaxy...is it? I mean, you may as well just take a rocketship to Jupiter. Jupiter I understand. Egypt, now that's just out my world in so many ways. I mean, what the fuck are you gonna do in Egypt? Become a goddamn mummy?

These were among the voices ranting in her head ever since that phone message had corrupted their passionate union. She was vaguely aware of taking a step away from him to distance herself...because pretty soon he would be distancing himself from her, wouldn't he?

"Rachel...please...it was just a message. It doesn't mean anything."

Yes it did. And he knew it. It meant he had business elsewhere, and not here. It meant that he was already lost to her in a way.

She moved further away from him, heading for the door but not yet going through it. She looked down at the floor, then at him. "So," she said. "You're gonna have to walk me through this."

"Through what?"

"All of it. Egypt, 'paleontology', dinosaurs...everything. Because I don't understand any of it. I'm just a dumb cheerleader, remember?"

"Rachel, come on, stop it. I don't think you're dumb, not at all."

"Oh, well thanks a fucking lot, Ross," she said bitterly. She grabbed her purse off the bed.

"Where are you going?"

"I want to leave. I just, I really want to go now." She sounded like she was close to tears.

He moved towards her, almost charging at her before she could walk out the door. He put his hands on her face and his demeanor softened. "Don't leave," he whispered. "Please. I'll explain everything. Anything you want to know."

She swallowed the lump in her throat and sniffed. She nodded slowly, not looking him in the eye. He took her hand and led over to sit down on his bed.

"Ok, well...a few months ago I applied for this internship in Egypt. I figured I had a pretty good shot since my grades were good. The internship has little to do with dinosaurs really. It's more about studying ancient civilization, digging for fossils, stuff like that. But the last I'd heard all the spots were taken up, so I just figured I'd be going to school at NYU this year, same as always."

"And...do you want to go?"

He couldn't lie to her. Yes, of course he wanted to go. He'd been dreaming about this amazing opportunity all throughout his college years.

Then again, speaking of dreams...look who was sitting next to him on the bed.

He grazed her cheek with the back of his hand. "I don't want to lie to you, Rach. Yes, it would be an amazing opportunity for me...then again, so much has happened this summer, between us. I don't want to leave you...I love you."

And the most terrible moment of all was when she truly looked more offended than moved by those three beautiful and complex words. On some level he understood exactly why. And he wasn't sure there was anything he could possibly do to salvage this moment. What little stability their relationship had was shattered. Now she knew it was between her and all the pyramids and Egypt.

God, why did she have to hear that message?

He had no idea how long of a silence had lapsed. He had no concept of time when he was with her. Everything seemed to fall between a blink of an eye and forever.

"Ross...?"

"...Yeah?"

"I need you to let me leave now...I need you to let me go home."

Those words killed him, but he respected them immensely. And more than anything, he understood them as though they'd been uttered from his own lips. She was asking to be freed. She was asking permission, from him, to be let go. He slowly removed the hand that was rested affectionately on top of hers. Making her stay was not an option, and never would be.

"Go," he said.

And she left, out the door, never looking him in the eye. It wasn't about leaving him. Him was what she'd come here for, and him she wanted. But it was the circumstances she had to run from before they enveloped her in a stranglehold of intensity. It was the first time for both of them to realize that none of this was ever allowed to be easy; they would both be forced to fight tooth and nail for it if they wanted it bad enough.

That was just the nature of this beast...and the general nature of love, I suppose.

Rachel cried all the way home, driving rather recklessly like a woman in distress. What pained her the most was that she hadn't been able to tell him anything she was really feeling. She couldn't stop thinking of his last word to her, which was, "go." He'd simply released her without a fight, without questioning her judgement or attempting to hold her against her will.

When she got home, she collapsed on her bed and cried so hard she had to burry her face in a pillow to muffle her sobs. The feelings were a little bit maddening. Everything was hardcore now. Everything had gotten so goddamn serious.

He was going to leave her, that was certain. If it wasn't Egypt it would be New York City. And somehow she knew she'd already lost him. God, and what did she even want from him anyway? Did want him to stay?

Oh goodness, yes.

But could she ask him to stay?

Oh heavens, no. Who did she think she was? Who did she think he was?

At some point, after the sun had set and her room was dark, she pulled herself up and turned on a light. She sat down at her desk and wrote him a letter, as if he were already a thousand miles removed from her.

Meanwhile, Ross was lying on his bed looking up at the ceiling, trying to think blank and meaningless thoughts. He didn't know what his next move was. He was waiting for somebody to make the next move for him.

The phone rang. The loud ringing sound annoyed him immensely. If only to make the ringing stop, he answered it.

"Hello?"

"Mailbox," said a voice he knew very well, even in it's most mysterious of tones. That was all she said before hanging up.

So he went outside to the mailbox and found a pink envelope with his name on it. It made his heart race. He hurried anxiously up to his room and tore open the envelope. Inside was a letter and a Polaroid photo she'd taken of the two of them cuddling on her bed. He unfolded the letter and found a litany of frantic words, some of them smudged and ruined by her tears.

Dear Ross,

I feel like I don't say enough to you or tell you what I'm really feeling. First I just need to tell you I love you. I'm sorry I didn't say it when you said it to me. I have a hard time recognizing my own emotions sometimes. But now I know that I DO love you, very much. You're the greatest guy I've ever known, and I really don't deserve you. I wish we could be together, like a normal couple. I really do...but we just can't.

There's something I've never told you. The reason I'm still with Chip is because my parents want me to marry him. They're going to buy us a house after Chip gets out of college. My dad already has a job set up for him and everything. They think he's the perfect guy for me. They've threatened to kick me out if I break up with him.

And then there's you, Ross. You have your whole life that doesn't include me. You're a smart and talented guy and I know you're going to be very successful one day. Don't change your plans because of me. Trust me, that wouldn't be worth it. In fact, it's probably good that the summer is coming to an end. Now we can go our separate ways and live our own lives'...there's no way we can be together now, and both of us need to face that.

I do love you. And I loved being with you so much...you're the best I've ever had. And I mean that in a lot of ways.

Oh God, I'm getting too emotional now. I'm sorry for this stupid letter. I should've said all of this to you in person...and God I wish you were here right now.

But I have to go...I'm sorry.

I love you...thank you.

Love,

Rachel

P.S. - Monica knows.

Ross read the letter several times. A wave of bittersweet emotions was channeling through his veins. He had to talk to her. He picked up the phone and dialed her number.

A young man's voice answered. "Hello?"

It was Chip.

Ross said nothing. He heard Rachel's voice in the background saying, "Chip, who is it?"

"I don't know, there's no answer."

Rachel took the phone from him. "Hello?" she said.

Ross hung up.

Rachel slowly hung up her phone as well. She knew it was Ross.

"Who do you think it was?" asked Chip.

"I don't know...probably a wrong number." She kept her back turned to Chip for several moments. He had showed up unannounced, the way he often did late at night.

"Hey babe...babe?"

She was in a bit of a daze, thinking about Ross. She then realized the word "babe" was something she was supposed to answer to. "What?" she said.

"Care if I order a pizza?"

"Uh, no. Do what ever you want."

"Cool. I'm starving. Can I, uh, use your phone?"

"Oh, right, yeah." She handed him the phone that she was still clutching in her hand.

After placing his order he hung up the phone. "Twenty minutes or less...Hmmm I wonder what we could do in twenty minutes," he said with a suggestive grin. He put his arms around her waist and moved in to kiss her neck.

"Hmmm Chip come on, I'm not feeling very well."

"I know," he said, kissing down her chest. "That's why I'm trying to make you feel good."

She just closed her eyes and let it happen. It didn't take very long. Much less than twenty minutes. When the doorbell rang downstairs, Chip got out of bed and put his clothes on. Before leaving the room he stopped in the doorway. "Oh wait, I have something else I need to ask you."

"What, you want to order Chinese food too?" she snapped. "Just do whatever you want, Chip, I don't freaking care."

"Jesus, calm down! What I want to ask you is...well, if you're cheating on me?"

She tried not act as shocked as she was. "Cheating on you? Wh-why would you think that?"

"It's a yes or no question, Rach. And if you're lying I'll be able to tell. I've known you for years."

Rachel pulled the covers more securely around her exposed body. She looked him in the eye. "No. I'm not cheating on you."

Chip looked into her eyes, digging for the truth. He didn't dig very deep though. He didn't take the time. Had he done so, he would've discovered the real truth about Rachel's infidelity with another guy. Beneath the surface it was written all over her face.

Chip grinned. "Well I guess I would've found out about it by now. You can't keep a secret in this town. They always know what people like us are up to."

Rachel breathed an inner sigh of hidden distress. She traced the design on her bedspread and avoided his eyes.

The doorbell rang again. Chip remembered the pizza guy and turned to go out the door. He stopped and turned back, fumbling inside his pockets. "Oh shit, I don't have my wallet with me. You got any cash?"

Rachel grabbed her purse off the floor and tossed it at him.

"Thanks babe."

He left the room.

"You're welcome," she said stiffly.

That night never ended, or so it seemed. It had phases, sagas, seasons of hot and cold, mileage to go for ages. Chip ate his goddamn pizza right down to the very last crumb. He stayed downstairs for a while, watching a game on TV with her father. Meanwhile Rachel stayed in her bedroom thinking about Ross. He was leaving in a matter of days. She wondered if he had decided to go to Egypt or not...not that it mattered either way.

When she couldn't stand agonizing over him anymore she picked up the phone and dialed his number.

"Hello?" he answered.

She hesitated for a moment before muttering a soft, "Hey..."

"Hi...what's up?"

"Nothing...you called earlier."

Her voice sounded soft and lonesome in the midst of a dark void, as if her voice was the only voice in the world.

"Yeah," he said. "I got your letter."

"Good."

"Thank you...I mean, I appreciate you telling me how you feel."

"You're welcome," she said. "So..."

"So what, Rach?" he said. His tone was blunt and to the point.

"I...what do you mean?"

"I mean, what now? Why did you call me?"

"Why did you call me?"

"...Because I wanted to hear your voice. Even though you basically ended things with us."

"That's not what I meant, Ross...I mean come on, you knew this wasn't going to be a serious thing. The summer is over, and now we have to go our separate ways."

He paused. "Well, ok then."

"...Ok then what?"

They were going around in circles, a complicated carousel of love.

"Then goodbye."

"...Goodbye. Have fun in Egypt."

"Thanks, I will."

But before he could hang up, Rachel said, "Wait!"

"...Yes?"

"I'm uh, having a party at my house on Friday. It's an end of the summer kinda thing...you should come."

"Well, thanks, but...I don't really think that's a good idea."

A dramatic silence ensued before she spoke again. "Then I guess you won't see me again...for a very long time."

Those were her final words to him before hanging up. And he wouldn't try calling her back tonight, not a chance. That conversation had left him dry, with a dreadful feeling in his gut. He had to talk to someone. Not to her. But about her. He proceeded to dial one of the only other numbers he knew by heart. He felt bad, and a little bit out of his mind for calling this late.

"Hello?" answered Monica.

"Hey...it's me."

She almost grinned. "I had a feeling it would be."

"You know, don't you?"

"About you and Rachel?"

"Yeah."

"...Yeah, I do. Rachel didn't tell me though."

He didn't care either way. He was glad Monica knew. Now he finally had someone he could talk to about it.

"So...you're going back to school in a few days. I guess that's going to cause a problem."

"And there's something else...I uh, got offered a chance to go to Egypt for that internship I applied for. Someone cancelled at the last minute so there's a spot open."

Monica was taken aback by this. "Oh my God. Well, congratulations. That's an amazing opportunity for you."

Ross didn't say anything. Monica knew why.

"Well, I guess Egypt is a lot farther away than New York City, isn't it?"

Ross heaved an exasperated sigh. "Yeah...not that it matters I guess. She ended things between us. She's gonna marry that stupid bastard who treats her like shit, just because her parents want her to."

Monica rarely heard her brother speak with such venom and passion about anybody. It wasn't like him to act such a way. For a moment she found herself wishing he could've just carried on with his painless and easy romance with a simple girl like Carol. This thing with Rachel would bring so much drama to his life, she knew it. She just had to wonder where all of this would end.

"I'm sorry, Ross...I don't know what to say."

"I know...I don't either. I don't even know why I called. I just...oh goddammit. Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"If I go on this internship...do you think she'll still be here when I get back?"

Monica sighed. She had to tell it to him straight, and not sugarcoat things. And she knew he wanted it that way. "I don't know, Ross. Maybe. Maybe not. She might be here, but not in the place you want her to be. You and I both know, Rachel is a lost soul. She isn't grounded. She doesn't have direction. She doesn't know where she's going, or even why."

Every word she said was true, and Ross had known all of this before he'd even asked.

"She's so much different from you, Ross. You've always known what you wanted. You've always had a plan...and I hate to say it, but maybe it's better to end things with Rachel now, before it gets too complicated."

Ross scoffed. "Things could not possibly be more complicated than they already are."

Both lapsed into silence for an awkward and reflective moment.

"So uh, what about Rachel's party on Friday. Are you going?"

"No, I can't make it. What about you?"

"I don't know. I don't think it's a good idea...and it probably isn't."

"Well, I would have to agree with you and say that, no, it probably isn't a good idea. But you're a big boy now, Ross. As bossy as I can be, I can't tell you how to live your life."

It was getting late, and Ross' mind was exhausted with tired, reckless thoughts. "Thanks Mon. I'm sorry to bother you with all this."

Monica smiled. "Anytime, loser face. Hey, why don't you just go to bed, huh? Worry about this in the morning."

"Ok, I'll try. Goodnight."

"Goodnight. And Ross?"

"Yeah?"

"...Go to Egypt."

Friday was his last day as a lifeguard. He was tired and bored with the job anyway, and the feelings of Goodbye were neither bitter nor sweet. He sat slumped in his chair, same as always, and thought about Rachel's party tonight.

At one point, a frightened little girl ran up to him, disrupting his thoughts. "I can't find my mom," she cried.

Ross got out of his chair, and crouched down to her level. He did his best to calm and console the child. She instantly reminded him of Rachel when she was a little girl. "Come on," he said. And he took her hand and walked her over to a concerned looking woman who was obviously the girl's mother.

"Is that your mom?" he asked. She nodded, and he let her run off to the maternal arms of her mother. He called after her, "Be careful, Rachel. Don't run away again."

Was the girl's name really Rachel? He had called her that by accident, but the girl didn't object or correct him.

"Rachel, don't forget your sunscreen," the little girl's mother said to her.

It was.

How strange...and sweet.

"Ok, so we'll be sending you the necessary paperwork you'll need to fill out before leaving the country. Do you have a passport yet?

"Uh, no."

"Make sure you get one within the next day or so. Kind of an important detail. We're leaving on Monday, remember?"

"Yeah. I remember."

Ross was trying hard to process all of the details that Bob Jacobs was throwing at him. He must have sounded incoherent and indecisive because at some point Bob trailed off and asked him:

"Mr. Geller, are you sure you've thought this through? You sound a little uncertain. We've already had one student bail out on us, and we need to know that you're committed to this internship before signing on."

"I'm sorry, I've just uh, got some things on my mind. But I am committed to this, I assure you. I've wanted this for a long time."

"Well good, I'm glad to hear that."

The man went on shelling out the details and Ross took note of them the best he could. He was going through the motions somewhat robotically, it was clear. But he was eager to get to a point where there was no turning back. Where his plans were set in stone, and there were no more options to agonize over.

A few hours later, the late evening sun was setting, and the weekend nightlife was kicking up. A few blocks away Rachel's shindig was getting underway, attracting a good portion of Long Island's party animal youth.

Ross didn't know what he should do. He thought about calling up his lifeguard buddies and going to the party with them. Maybe he would feel better about showing up with a crowd of his own. But he didn't really feel like seeing those goofballs tonight. He didn't really feel like seeing anybody tonight, in fact. He wasn't even sure he wanted to see her...not like that, at least, at a party scene where he wasn't permitted to be acknowledged as her lover, or whatever the hell he was to her these days.

Then he remembered her last words to him the night before. Then I guess you won't see me again for a very long time...

There was no point in debating it any further. He knew he had to see her face again before he left. And after tonight he could venture off to a whole new region a million miles away and try to erase her from his life...if there even was a life without Rachel.

He put on a nice shirt and a pair of jeans and thought "Here goes nothing."

He hadn't been to a party at her house before. He hadn't been to many parties period. They weren't really his style, especially the ones like this, with underage drinking and thumping loud music. It's where the midnight animals go to lose themselves, and surrender to drunken idiocy, because there's nothing better in the world for them, or so they believe.

The house was dark except for the cheap disco lights making the room spin when you weren't even drunk yet. There were people everywhere. He moved through the crowd of monotonous faces, recognizing no one. He was monotonous too. At one point a girl with beer on her breath threw her arms around him and practically stuck her tongue down his throat. Ross cringed and pried her off of him. That wasn't what he'd come here for.

"Do you know where Rachel is?" he asked her.

"Whoooo's Rachel?" she slurred incoherently.

"Hey man, you got any weed?" a masculine voice asked him.

"No."

"Hey, isn't that Monica's brother?"

Now this girl he vaguely recognized as being Rachel's friend Mindy.

"Yeah, it's me," he said. "Hey, do you know where Rachel is?"

Mindy gave him a subhuman look. "Dirty dancing with Patrick Swayze, where do you think?"

Ross rolled his eyes and moved past her.

Mindy grabbed his arm. "No seriously, Ross, I think she's out in the backyard."

"Ok, thanks."

"No problem," she said. Then she started smirking. "And by the way, Ross, who the hell invited you to this party?"

Mindy walked away giggling devilishly. Ross moved through the living room, through the kitchen, and out the back door. He stepped out onto the porch, which overlooked the lavishly decorated backyard. He surveyed the area and saw a bunch of people drinking and hanging out by the pool.

Then he saw her. And him. Kissing. Making out and having clothed sex was more like it.

It repulsed him. It made him mad. He'd rather go blind than be cursed to see a sight like that.

"Mmmmm, you're so hot," Chip said, groping her with urgent hands. "How 'bout we take this up to your room."

Rachel was a little limp in his arms, and didn't seem all that coherent. But she was sober enough to notice Ross standing over them on the porch.

"Ross!" she said.

Chip looked up and gave him a sub-human look similar to Mindy's. "Ross Geller, the science geek? What the hell is he doing here?"

"Chip, stop it..."

"Uh, actually I was just leaving," Ross said coldly. And he turned to go back inside the house.

"Ross, wait!" she called. She broke away from Chip and followed him inside.

"Rachel, what the fuck?" Chip said.

"I'll be right back!"

Rachel caught up with Ross in a little side room off the kitchen, which, thankfully, was unoccupied except for them.

"Ross, wait!"

"Just get away from me!" he snapped, whirling around to face her. His heart was pounding with rage and humiliation. He should never have come here.

"Ross, please, I'm sorry about Chip, I--"

"Yeah, yeah. Hey, thanks for inviting me to your fucking party. It's pretty noble of you to include someone like me in your exclusive social crowd. I guess I should feel pretty special right now, shouldn't I? Oh, and nice boy toy, by the way. I'm sure you two will have a beautiful future together. Looks like he treats you really well from what I've seen."

"Screw you, Ross! My life is none of your business, ok?"

"No, screw you, Rachel. You tell me you love me and that I'm the greatest guy you've ever been with. Then you break up with me so you can marry some douche bag you don't even love! What the hell am I supposed to do with that?"

"I broke up with you? You're the one who's leaving, Ross! That's right, you're packing your bags and going off to God knows where for God knows how long! And me, I'm staying right here, right where I've always been. No, the only one who's leaving is you."

Ross fell silent, breathing hard. He couldn't yell at her anymore. "Well, I...I would've stayed if you had asked me to."

Rachel was looking directly at him, serious as she would ever be. "Ok...then why don't you stay?"

Ross looked down at the floor. "I can't," he said softly. "I already told them I'd go."

And now he felt like a fool. His throat ached from all the yelling. He felt like he never wanted to speak again.

"Well then," she said. "I guess that's that."

She was slowly backing away from him, going for the door. Before she was completely out of his reach for good, Ross practically pounced at her and grabbed her face in his hands and kissed her. He did it with so much force that he almost backed her into the wall. Rachel was caught off guard at first, but quickly reciprocated the kiss with mutual passion.

"Oh my God!"

Ross and Rachel broke apart, startled, and saw Mindy and a few other girls standing in the doorway watching them.

Rachel was speechless and somewhat panic-stricken.

Ross didn't care. He had come here with nothing to lose. He acknowledged the girls with a dry look of apathy, then turned to look into Rachel's striking green eyes for the last time. "I love you," he whispered.

Then, calmly, making no apologies, he exited the little room, unfazed by the shocked and gaping stares of Rachel's disapproving friends. He moved through the living room and out the front door. As he was walking down the driveway toward his car, he heard Chip's deep and dim-witted voice calling after him.

"Hey Geller! Your sister still a cow?"

Ross kept walking and never turned back. "Yeah. Whatever."

A few days later Ross was on a plane to Egypt, soaring above the clouds, as far removed from life on earth as he would ever be. In his hands he was clutching the Polaroid photo of he and Rachel together. He could still taste her lip gloss in his mouth, but not for long.

He would write her every day.

Hang in there, babies. It's a long road to paradise.