Book 2

Chapter 3: I Shoot the Titan Lord in My Head

My dreams tend to be…..distorted and weird. So, when this dream popped into my head while I slept, with a very realistic and stable outlook, I was surprised. And then I was surprised that I was surprised, and I was in control of my own movements.

"The hell is this?" I muttered, bending down and grabbing a handful of sand. I was standing in the middle of a road made of sand, with plains surrounding it. "This is utterly boring." I muttered, and sat down. Everything was excruciatingly realistic, from the wind, to the sun, to the sound of the grass. "This is not a normal dream." I muttered. A laugh echoed through the field and I sighed. Ok. What the hell is it now? The wind picked up, and suddenly someone was standing in front of me. It wasn't really a person, but more of a shifting shape, surrounded by a harsh golden light.

"Hello, boy." The thing said. I grinned. "We-"

"'Sup." I said, cutting it off, and standing up. "So who are you? One of the gods? Or are you maybe a Titan? Or are you just some dumbassed monster trying to invade my dreams? Cause if you are, you're doing a shitty job of it." I said. Silenced followed.

"You…..are really beginning to annoy me, boy. You know who I am. We've been speaking for the past week. I am the Titan Lord Kronos." Kronos said finally. I grinned and scratched the back of my head. Kronos had been trying to recruit me for the past week, because my body is more 'durable' than a human's, and because he sensed malice and hatred towards the gods. Let's get this straight, I don't hate the gods. They're immortal beings, bound to be assholes, like me. I just don't necessarily agree with the fact that they govern everything and everyone. To be honest, the only reason I've said no is because I don't like being used, and that is the same reason as to why Kronos thinks he can get to me.

"Right. Sorry, I've got a terrible memory. So, what are you gonna do today? Talk to me about more of the atrocities of the gods and some such shit? Because that's getting boring." I said. Kronos sighed.

"No. I realize now that is not the way to get through to you. I will try another tactic today." Kronos waved his hand, and his body solidified. A giant steel door appeared next to him, and I raised my eyebrows. Multiple steel locks ran down the middle, bolting it shut. This was the entrance to my mind. I had been here before, in other universes, and the doors haven't changed.

"You want to go in there? Seriously? You do realize that it's bolted shut to protect everyone else, not me, right?" I said. Kronos seemed taken aback.

"You know what this is?" He asked. I nodded.

"Of course I know what it is! And if you really want to go in there, let me open the doors for you." I said, and waved my hand. The multiple locks slid open one by one. The last one unlocked, and the doors burst open, revealing a swirling mass of black and red. "You sure you want to go in there?" I asked. He tore his eyes away from the chaos and shook his head at me.

"Your chaotic mind is beautiful to me, mortal. So much violence. Are you sure you won't accept my proposition?" He asked.

"Dude, you sound like Satan. I beat him in a poker game once. He started cheating so every time he pulled out a winning hand I shot his cards. Needless to say, I won." I said.

"What are you babbling about?" He asked.

"Don't know who Satan is? You should google him." I said. At his blank expression, I continued. "Don't know what google is? You should google it. Let's go." I said, strolling straight into the abyss. Kronos followed. We emerged on the other side of the vortex, and stood on what seemed like thin air, my memories and thoughts swirling around us. Multiple doors were stuck in the middle of the swirling colors. A grove of trees sat in what I assumed was the middle, and was the only peaceful place in my mind. I drifted over to them (not actually having to walk in my mind) and lay down in the middle of a meadow hidden within the black timber. Kronos followed. For some reason, there was blue sky here.

"Hmph. Disappointing. I was expecting pure chaos." Kronos grumbled. "But it is only to be expected that there would be some quiet spots in here. Now ab-"

"Quiet." I said, interrupting him. A piece of duct tape appeared over his mouth. "I'm trying to decide what to kill you with," I sat up and held open both of my hands. "This small neck cleaver, or a cute teddy bear." I said. An enormous sword appeared in my left hand, looking like something out of a horror movie, about twice as long as I was, and a teddy bear appeared in my right hand. Nothing special about the teddy bear. It's just a teddy bear. "My special today is the teddy bear. It comes with a slow death." Kronos glared at me.

"You expect to be able to kill me?" He said. I shrugged.

"Well, yeah. It's my head after all. Ooooh! Wait! I have an idea!" I said. In an instant, the forest vanished (or rather, we teleported out of it), and we were standing in the middle of the chaos. I held my .44 revolver in one hand, the barrel pressed to the Titan Lord's head. I grinned maliciously, and pulled the hammer back. "I'm going to shoot you in my head." I said, and pulled the trigger. The bullet blew his brains out in a fine red mist (I will spare you any of the other gory details because of *ahem* reader sensitivity. For all of you out there not sensitive to the glory of blood and gore, imagine it in HD with all the grimy details and grey matter. You're welcome.) Kronos head rocked back, and he fell to the ground. I frowned. That was too easy. His body dissipated, and he reappeared in front of me, perfectly fine.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, BOY?!" He bellowed. I don't think he's pissed enough. That didn't even give me a headache. And believe me, I've had gods and demons in my head before, and when they get pissed, they give you a raging headache. It's worth it to see how pissed I can get them, though.

"Well, I'm thinking about starting my book here and now. I'm calling it 'One billion ways to kill assholes who don't leave you alone.' Now, how should I kill you next?" I mused. I snapped my fingers and grinned. "OH! I know! Cue epic background music!" I shouted, and FUCKING BEETHOVEN STARTED TO PLAY. IF THAT'S NOT RAGER MUSIC, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS. ONLY BITCHES LISTEN TO METAL. In an instant, my mind was flooded with my imagination, beings from my memory, or creatures entirely new that I had designed. Everything from the Silence from Doctor Who, to a Demon of Satan's, to Godzilla and aliens. I spread my arms, and let the music play. "Welcome to hell." I said with a grin. The beings launched themselves at Kronos, causing him to disappear under a sea of murderous beings.

"ENOUGH!" Kronos bellowed, blowing every single image into non-existence with a flash of golden light. I winced. There we go, now I've got a headache. "I WILL KILL YOU!" He shouted, lunging at me. I snapped my fingers, and he was bound by chains.

"Now, now. This is my mind. I am God here." I said. Kronos roared, blasting my mind with golden light. Pain lanced through my head, and I doubled over. In an instant, Kronos was upon me, grabbing my throat and lifting me up in the air.

"You little shit. WHO DO YOU THINK I AM?! I AM THE TITAN LORD KRONOS! YOU WILL BOW BEFORE ME, MORTAL." He bellowed. I grinned, and teleported behind him. He whirled, swinging a fist at me. It stopped inches from my face, meeting an invisible barrier. Kronos narrowed his eyes, and my smile faded, my face growing serious. I put my face inches from his, anger radiating from me.

"Good luck." I said, and turned around, walking towards the grove of trees. "Now go away."

"You….insolent brat. I will keep coming back, no matter what you do. Your body will be mine." Kronos snapped. I laughed.

"And when you do, the exact same thing will happen again. Every time you try. There is nothing you can do to change that." I said. Kronos thought for a second, and laughed. I stopped and turned around, glaring at him. "What's so funny?" I asked. He grinned.

"If I cannot get through to you," He said, waving his hand. A shimmering image of Jackie popped up. "I could always kill the one closest to you." He said. My jaw dropped, and he laughed. "Yes, now you understand the po-"

"You mean you can kill that asshole?!" I said excitedly. Kronos expression morphed into one of confusion.

"What?" He asked.

"Dude, I've tried to kill that asshole thousands of times. If you find a way, let me know." I said. A memory of me shooting Jackie in the head popped into my mind. Kronos took a step back in surprise. "And that's not all." I said. More memories of me killing Jackie/Jarred (in both male and female forms) ran through my head. One time I cut him in half. Another time I dropped a mountain on him. And for some reason I cannot fathom, he kept coming back. Probably because of our regenerative abilities, but whatever. Kronos opened and closed his mouth, like he was trying to decide what to say, and was attempting to say something at the same time.

"I….." Kronos sighed, and shook his head, his form slowly dissipating. "I've got nothing to say. I will be back." He said. "But be warned. You are not the only thing that came to this universe." With that, he disappeared completely from my mind. I looked around at the swirling chaos and smile. A song started to play. It was a piano solo, and yes. I listen to piano music. Shut up. I'm breaking the fourth wall for you, so don't bug me. Honestly, I don't give a shit whether or not you judge me, it's good music. That and all the cool villains listen to classical music, so….

"And now, onto a new day." I said, and willed myself to wake up.

I slowly opened my eyes and sighed, the sun barely peeking up over the hilltop. My mind was slowly turning over Kronos' last statement. What could he have meant by that? I shrugged and lay back down. It's not like it was going to come after me and Jackie, whatever it was. So therefore; not my problem.

"Nathan!" Chiron yelled, cantering up the hill. My head slowly swiveled to look at him.

"Yes?" I asked.

"It's Jackie. She's disappeared." He said. I sighed and shook my head. It still wasn't my problem, but I suppose I'm slightly obligated to go look for her.

"Fine. I'll be down in a minute." I said, a thought occurring to me. Kronos said that we were not the only things to come through the rift... but what could possibly have come through?

Hello Everyone! Sorry about not posting the chapters lately. Had to work on some schoolwork. But, as a special treat, two new chapters will be released today, counting this one! Keep reviewing and thanks for reading! (Oh, and, once again, we do not own PJO or DW.) - Jhawkfilms