I could here Esme and Carlisle discussing what should be done with Noah's body as I couldn't bring myself to be near him. The guilt was overpowering me.I never knew this feeling existed.

It was funny only a few hours ago I was here and felt safe now I'm here and feel the most vulnerable I've ever felt in my whole entire life.

"Carlisle help please."

I sat up quick as I heard the urgency of Leah's voice.

I felt sick. Did that mean Jacob was in a bad way. Edward what have you done. Trying to find the courage I stepped slowly from my bed.

"Jacobs fine."

He had read my mind.

"What's happening then, have you heard from Sam?"

I was eager to know if they made it on to that plane.

"Noah is fine Sam and the others are with him on the way to Forks. He knows to contact us straight away when they get to Billy's."

"Oh thank god."

The only good thing to have come from tonight's is knowing Noah was safe...for now anyway.

"Carla we need to talk."

He looked serious his eyes Solemn.

"I know what I did tonight was reckless and beyond stupid, and I also know my brother is dead because of me."

A thousands knives were stabbing me in the heart. Hurt and guilt all rolled into one were circling my body over and over.

"Your brother was never meant to make it out of this alive, they were using him as bait Carla. His death was not your fault."

His arms wrapped around me as the screaming from outside made me stand my guard.

"Who is that if it's not Jacob?"

"Carla they found him."

"Found who?"

"Joseph."

Another blow to the stomach as I gripped his arms trying to steady myself.

"Is..is he alive?"

"Just about, Carlisle is doing his best to help him but they heal so quick. He has to keep re breaking his bones to set them properly."

"Oh my god I can't believe he's actually here and alive."

I gasped as I covered my mouth.

I was having mixed emotions about this whole scenario. I wasn't sure how I even felt about Joseph even when we were together. Of cause I loved his company but I didn't really know if anything would ever have come to more than that.

I tried to stop thinking as I could see each word going through my mind was hurting Edward deeply. I hated he could read my mind but I hated it more how painful it was for him.

"How did he escape the Volturi?"

"He hasn't been able to speak, he's in a bad way he's lucky to off made it out of there alive."

I looked at Edward as the screams stopped.

"He wants to see you?"

"Me...I don't know if I should. What do I even say to him?"

Panic set in as old thoughts flooded my mind.

"You don't have to keep trying to hide your thoughts from me"

He wryly smiled as his lips slightly curved.

"I don't want you to hear me thinking these things though ,it's hurting you I know that and I never want to do that!"

"It's my own fault I should stay out of your head."

"This is one big mess isn't it"

I smiled as he wiped my tear with his thumb.

"Earlier when I see Demetri touching you his teeth about to bite deep into your neck...I'd never felt anything like it. Thinking of anyone touching or hurting you in that way I'd rather be dead."

"But I'm fine Edward I come out of it ok!"

"But you should never have been put in this position to even have come close!"

I hugged him tight as his anger was building up inside.

"You know this wasn't Jacobs fault don't you?"

"No I know... it's all mine!"

"What how can you even say that?"

"I should never have trusted anybody else with your life."

"Edward you can't protect me all off the time"

I spoke softly as he closed his eyes.

"Carla for as long as I exist I will protect you."

My reaction come unexpectedly as my lips crashed to his. He groaned as it took him off guard. He couldn't read my mind as even I didn't know it was coming.

He caressed my back so gently trying with every inch of his life not to hurt me.

I was lost in his world for a moment I was lost in this kiss.

"I'm sorry I didn't know I was going to do that"

His hands pressed on my arms to keep me restrained from touching him again.

"I can't let myself get lost with you like that."

He sounded angry as he stood to his feet.

"Edward you didn't hurt me"

"Not this time no ...but I will."

"Why do you do this to yourself. Why can't you just let this happen?"

"He's waiting for you...you better go".

"Edward please don't shut me out like this".

My words were wasted he had left before I had chance to even let him know I wanted this that I wanted him.