Chapter Nine- Let's Talk About Sex
Loosening up his tie, Dan looked out at the play ground to see Nicholas interacting with a few of his classmates, whom he had managed to convert into his knights. A smile came to his face as there was nothing more that he liked to see than to see the little boy live in his world of great imagination with those that understood it along with him. Turning back towards the seat that was beside Blair, Dan took his place beside her as they waited for the school principal to make her way into the room. Running his hand through his hair, Dan couldn't help but notice a difference in Blair as she sat so cordially. The past couple of days, Blair had been acting weird as if she was on guard most of the time, but never once did she actually come out with what was going on with her. Dan had been eager to have the talk that they were supposed to have, but Blair had given the casual excuse of it being a trivial conversation that she had forgotten about.
"Serena called, she said that she was going to be in town for the premiere in two weeks" Dan mentioned as Blair just nodded
"Yeah, she sent me an e-mail along with tickets" Blair quickly replied
"Oh, okay. I just thought I'd share that bit of fact with you" Dan replied as he nodded in awkwardness
"Thank you for that fact" Blair told him nervously
"Are you okay?" Dan quickly followed "I mean you've been acting weird ever since that day you wanted to talk. Did I do something? Are you getting all stressed about my birthday party? Because I told you I didn't want to have a party to begin with" he said as Blair just shook her head
"I'm fine. I'm just thinking about the line and everything…then this coming to the school with Nicholas" Blair sighed
"This is what has you thinking?" Dan laughed to himself as Blair glared at him for a moment
"You ask what's wrong and then you laugh? Gee, you're the perfect friend" Blair replied
"No, I don't mean to laugh. I just think you should waste your worry on stuff that you can't control. The line with Dennis will be perfect. Nicholas, whatever he has done or hasn't done, everything will be fine. So stop worrying" Dan told her as he placed his hand on top of hers
"For your information, you're birthday was planned by Justine" Blair told him
"Oh, God. This should be awkward and strange wrapped in one" Dan laughed as Blair couldn't help but laugh with him
"She wanted the theme of your party to center around you as in pictures of you everywhere" Blair laughed "Walls, napkins, plates, forks, cake…" she said
"And strangely enough, none of those items would make it to the party because they'd all end up at her house" Dan joked
"You know she carries two copies of the Insider with her in her purse. I've seen it" Blair laughed
"Really? Has she tried referencing the book to you?" Dan asked after a moment of silence came between them
"I've read the book" Blair replied softly as Dan looked at her for a moment. Words ran from his mouth as Dan struggled to find them. What did she think? Was she upset with her portrayal? Was she hurt? Were all questions that ran through his mind. Just as began to speak, the door opened with the school principal came walking through the door and over to her seat. Feeling as if the moment had fled, Dan was reluctant to turn his attention towards the principal as the pressing fact that Blair had just now read the book had spoke volumes to him.
"Sorry to have kept you waiting. Children require so much" The Principal said
"That's fine, I think we were both just concerned as to why we were called here. Is something wrong?" Blair asked with concern all over her face
"No, no. I wanted to discuss something that has been brought to my attention in regards to Nicholas and another classmate" The Principal told them
"Another classmate? To my knowledge, I thought or know that Nicki has been getting along with his classmates" Dan replied
"It appears that he's taken a liking to a certain girl" The Principal mentioned
"Yes, I believe I know who you're referring to. Not that I know or have done anything to said girl" Blair said a bit hesitant bring up the girl Nicholas had liked in fear of being connected to the ice cream incident.
"What about the girl?" Dan asked "I mean we know he's had a crush" he stated
"Yes, well apparently his crush has lead to further knowledge on the subjects that are girls" The Principal said
"What other knowledge could he want? We talk about girls and feelings" Blair quickly replied as Dan caught on to what the Principal was trying to convey
"Oh….I don't think you've covered that type of conversation with him" Dan grasped as he leaned over to tell Blair
"What conversation does he need to have?…..oh, my God" Blair said before she began to realize what they both were referring to
"Our school librarian has informed me that Nicholas has asked in regards to books on the subject matter of sexual intercourse. He states that he wants to better understand it" The Principal said
"Did you talk to him about this or allude to this?" Blair asked as she turned to look at Dan
"No, I wouldn't talk about that with him at this young of an age" Dan quickly replied
"Please excuse us, we clearly have no idea as to where this came from. I know of a liking he had to a girl, but I in no way shape or form knew that it had grown to him learning about sex" Blair apologized to the Principal
"But has the topic been one in the household?" The Principal asked as both Dan and Blair grew uneasy
"I'm single, and he's dating. No sex has occurred between us, so sex is pretty much non existent in the house…sadly speaking" Blair replied as she slowly caught on to the fact that she had mentioned too much.
"Yes, well I wouldn't say sex is non existent. It's just not occurring with us" Dan said as he moved around uncomfortably in his chair.
"So you're having sex?" Blair turned to ask Dan, who gave an awkward face "As am I. I'm having sex as well because it's…very existent in me" she said awkwardly as if she was trying to match Dan
"With who?" Dan asked with a bit of laughter
"I don't think your sex lives are the issues…" The Principal said only to find that she was completely tuned out in the discussion
"Oh, don't act like I haven't had sex. I have plenty of sex, I just don't flaunt it in your face" Blair told him
"Because there's nothing to flaunt. Blair, I know for a fact that you haven't had sex in the past four years" Dan told her
"Oh, so now you're in tune with my vagina….and I have you know that I too very much deserve to have one" Blair stated as the Principal sat in a bewildered silence as all she could do was look from Blair to Dan on their comments.
"No one is trying to take it away. I just think that if we're being honest, then we need to be honest all the way around" Dan replied
"So what? You want a gold star for having sex?" Blair questioned
"No, I was answering the question of sex not being non existent…" Dan began to say before Blair quickly interrupted
"Do you even know this Sara girl? I mean really, she gives you food at a restaurant and you just put her to sleep worthy status. What in your mind constitutes as decent enough to sleep with?" Blair asked
"Okay, now you make me seem like I just randomly hook up with people" Dan said "We've been dating, and I know you've been out of the game for a while, but dating does bring in the opportunity to have sex" he told her
"So any girl you date, she gets sex? So glad to hear you have standards" Blair said as she folded her arms in a huff while Dan just looked a her for a few moment before turning his attention back to the Principal
"I'm sorry about that. Just a simple case of the banter between us" Dan apologized
"Yes, I completely…don't understand, but if we could discuss…" The Principal began to speak before once again being cut off
"I thought you were the believer that sex meant something? I thought you believed in love being attached to sex" Blair quickly questioned
"Seriously, do we have to talk about this right now?" Dan asked
"You want to put honesty out there, then let's put it out. Sex and love, are they even registering with you now? When you say you love someone is that just irrelevant?" Blair asked
"It is when I'm not in love with someone" Dan replied "And by that I hope you don't think less of me because I greatly appreciate women and would never pass that behavior…" he quickly turned to tell the Principal
"Well! I'm just glad we've gotten to the truth of things. Sex and love are non existent to Mr. Dan Humphrey. So therefore, your declarations of love mean absolutely nothing because at the end of the day it's all about sex" Blair declared
"I didn't say that" Dan replied
"Oh, but you're thinking it. I read Humphrey pretty well to know that that stupid 'who me' look is saying I really mean this but I hope you don't catch on to what I actually mean" Blair said
"I have no idea what you just said" Dan replied with a bit of confusion on his face
"And that's perfectly fine because I think my answer has come. I, may not have sex but at least I take love seriously, which is more than I can say for you" Blair told him before she turned to look at the Principal. Sitting in utter confusion, the Principal was unsure of how to even carry on the meeting.
"It says here that you two are married…recently?" The Principal asked
"And we're so happy" Blair replied sarcastically
"Loving every second of it" Dan then added with his bit of sarcasm
"There's that word again, you must not mean that either" Blair replied as she added in another stab at Dan's earlier statement.
"Okay, now this just got awkward" The Principal said as she played with her fingers nervously as they both sat with folded arms.
Coming into the house, Blair opened the door before Nicholas made his way inside of the house. Noticing that Dan was still walking towards the house, Blair waited until Dan was close enough to the door before she closed the door on him. Standing in surprise as all he could do was take in the darkened color oak of the door, Dan took a moment to compose himself before entering into the house as he knew that he was on Blair's bad list. Still thinking about what Blair had told him earlier about her reading the book, Dan concluded that her obvious anger was for her portrayal in the book. Wishing that they would've had this argument years ago since he first released the book rather than years later. Taking his jacket off, Dan put his jacket on the rack before he ran up the top of the stairs to see Nicholas tending to his usual routine of playing in his castle. Coming back down the stairs, Dan could hear the foot prints of Blair coming out of the kitchen, looking as if she was holding on so tightly to a grudge that she had against him.
"Okay, let's have it out. Clearly you're upset about something, so let's have it out?" Dan suggested as he rolled his sleeves up
"I think you said all you needed to say back in the principal's office. All of which we have to discuss with Nicholas" Blair replied
"I'm not sharing this spat with Nicholas, especially as it pertains to who's having sex, and who isn't" Dan quickly replied
"There you go again! Yes, you have sex. Congratulations on that" Blair said as she clapped for Dan "Do you want stars?" she then asked
"I don't want anything. I just want to know why you're acting so weird? I mean you're clearly channeling some anger issues inside of you that I happen to be the brunt of" Dan reasoned "Wait, are you on that monthly cycle?" he then asked hoping that it was the reason before Blair grabbed the closest pillow to hit him with
"What type of question is that?" Blair said as she continued to whack him with the pillow
"One that deserved to be ask because you're acting crazy" Dan exclaimed as he grabbed the pillow away from Blair before she could get another hit in on him "Now can we please talk about whatever is bothering you, so you can stop using me as your punching bag?" he asked as he grabbed her hand to lead her over towards the sofa to take a seat "Is this about the book?" he asked as Blair took a seat across from him
"This has nothing to do with the book. This has to do with all the sex you're supposedly having that you want to throw in my face" Blair stated
"Then I'm sorry. My intention weren't to rub it in your face, I was just answering and I didn't stop to think how that would make you feel…" Dan began to reason
"Me? I don't feel anything if that's what you're alluding to. You can have sex with whomever you want, even if they clearly act like a little kid at times" Blair replied
"What? Sara doesn't act like a kid" Dan replied
"Her favorite meal is a lunch able, a lunch able Humphrey and she sucks on her thumb" Blair stated
"She was playing around" Dan defended
"Who jokes about sucking on their thumb?" Blair exclaimed
"Okay, so she has kiddy tendencies. What should that matter to you? You said you were okay with me dating and having a life outside of this house. So what? Does reading this book change that now?" Dan asked
"This isn't about the book. This is you, this is all about you" Blair exclaimed once again
"Then lets make it about the book because it's a bit odd that you all of sudden read the book then act weird around me. Why did you read it? I thought you were never going to read it, what made you change your mind to read it?" Dan asked
"Do I have to have a reason?" Blair asked after a moment of silence came between them
"For you, yes. You read the book, not just any book, but the book" Dan reasoned "And I have to say….I need to know why?" he asked
"Because….because I overheard you the other night" Blair said "On the phone you were talking to someone, and you said that you were in love with…." she said as Dan shook his head in disbelief
"Oh, God" Dan muttered to himself as he clenched his eyes shut in disbelief "Of all the ways to find out, that's how you find out" he said to himself
"So it's true. You…you're in love with me?" Blair asked as Dan struggled to look at her "Humphrey, look at me" she pleaded "Do you, do you love me?" she asked
"Does it matter?" Dan asked "I mean my feelings for you….I care about you, you know this" he said
"Yes, but care and love are completely different things. Either you care about me or you love me?" Blair asked
"What do you think?" Dan quickly asked her in response "In your heart of hearts, what do you think I feel about you?" he asked
"I don't know, which is why this is all so confusing. I thought you were my best friend, but I didn't know that you loved me as more" Blair replied
"You had to, it was written all over my face. Everyone saw it, so don't act so surprised that you didn't know" Dan told her
"I thought you did all of those things for me because you wanted to, because you were being my friend….not because you were expecting something in return" Blair said
"I didn't expect anything. For the longest, I knew you loved Chuck. I know you still love him" Dan replied
"No, I actually don't. I may love him, but I'm not in love with him like I once was" Blair said as Dan sat shocked by what she had just stated to him "That's what I wanted to tell you that night, you know before we got into the big argument. I realized that I wasn't that girl anymore, and I realized it because of you" she said as a moment of silence came between them as they were both trying to grasp what they were saying to each other
"So, you two are over? You're done with the Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck deal?" Dan questioned
"I wouldn't say that to that extent, but nothing romantically is going to happen between us" Blair replied
"I'm sorry, what does that mean?" Dan asked
"He'll always have a place in my heart, just like Serena will always have a place in your heart, but I don't or am not in love with him because along the way of these roller coaster years, I grew up. I learned that the love I had with Chuck, it was all consuming and pain, but mostly it wasn't the love I pictured. I want pure and simple, and we were never going to be that" Blair sighed as she told him
"So what does that mean for us?….is there even an us?" Dan asked with a bit of confusion
"I don't know" Blair sighed before she groaned in frustration "I just feel like you should've been honest with me. I feel like you side swiped me with this and I have no real thought to the subject" she said
"It's actually quite simple" Dan laughed in disbelief as a part of him felt like even though she free for the taking, she was still not on the same page as he was "Either you have feelings for me or not" he concluded
"And if I'm unsure, then what? Because…I've only seen you as my friend. I love you as my friend, I haven't explored loving you as something else" Blair said trying to be as open with Dan as possible
"And that's fine" Dan said after taking a few moments to collect his thoughts "My love or the declaration wasn't meant to force you to love me back. It was meant to state what I felt or am trying to get over, I was in love with you. But like you, I've come to realize that I have grown up. Loving from a far is, well it's a bit pathetic…" he said as he let out a little laugh that pulled on her heart strings
"It's not pathetic. I don't want you to think it's pathetic" Blair reasoned
"Oh, but it is" Dan laughed as Blair felt the pangs of guilt come over her
"See, this is why I didn't want to do this…I didn't want to hurt you" Blair groaned
"No, don't look at it like that" Dan said as he grabbed her hands to put in his hands "I'm fine. We're fine. I've stopped expecting you to see me as this guy that, I don't know….I'm moving on from all the love stuff, and now…I just want find that person that I can be in love with" he told her
"But I feel bad. I feel horrible" Blair said as tears filled her eyes
"Don't. I appreciate you telling me how you feel, and us finally talking about this. My only wish was that we could've had this conversation years ago, so I could get over you Waldorf" Dan laughed towards the end so that he could ease the tension "All I want is for you to throw me a party with lots of friends and family present. Then maybe finding me that girl to share that birthday kiss with because I think if you find that girl that has your seal of approval then I'm sure she'll be a keeper" he smiled
"If I find this girl then you might have to step your game up Humphrey" Blair laughed softly
"Yeah, maybe so" Dan laughed as he leaned in to give her a hug as he held on tight to her, longer than he should for any hug to be justified as a hug between friends. Struggling with the placement of her face, Blair struggled as tears welled up in her eyes as a single tear drop fell from her face. Taking him in, Blair knew that it was what she had to do, she had to give him the freedom that he so graciously deserved from her. Pulling back from their hug, Dan looked down at his hands for a moment before he found the strength to look at her "I know that I said I'm going to move on from all the love stuff with you, but I won't forget it because I did love you. I like to believe that if a biography was ever written about me that they would say he loved a truly remarkable woman in that of Blair Waldorf. Sometimes loving someone isn't about the expectations of being loved back, sometimes loving someone gives you the courage to see what they see in you and know that you can be that person to no faults." he told her
"And that right there, Dan Humphrey, is the reason you'd be perfect for any girl. I promise I will give you a birthday that you will never forget, I promise you that" Blair smiled as she gave him yet another hug before she got up to head upstairs. Watching her climb the stairs, Dan began to feel a nudge against his back before he began to see that it was his book. Blair must've hidden it, Dan thought to himself as he looked on a the book for a moment before he got up and walked into the kitchen with it in hand. Giving it one final glance, Dan stepped on the leverage that opened the trash can before he tossed the book in the trash.
"So long Dylan and Clair, it was a fun illusion while it lasted, but this is reality" Dan said as he looked on at the book become engulfed in last nights pasta.
Standing in front of the mirror, Nicholas brushed his hair to the side as he prepared himself for bed. Finding that a strand was out of place, Nicholas messed his hair up to begin the task of brushing his hair to his liking. Making his way inside the boys bedroom, Dan was glad to see that Nicholas was just about done with his usual routine of brushing his hair. Taking a seat on the chair next to his bed, Dan waited patiently for Nicholas to join him as all he could do was play over the earlier conversation he had with Blair. Dan of course knew that four years had been too long to hope for someone to love you back or even carry some bit of an emotion towards him, but Dan just always envisioned the ending to have some sort of a beginning between them. Getting lost in the tragic ending of something that never began, Dan hadn't even noticed Nicholas making his way towards his bed, dressed in his pajamas. Helping him get into the bed, Dan pulled the covers back to the exact degree that Nicholas like it at before Nicholas climbed in. Finding a comfortable spot in his bed, Nicholas looked over at Dan to see that he was lost in thought.
"Something plagues you" Nicholas said as he noticed the expression on Dan's face
"Yeah, something kind of does" Dan shrugged "But it won't effect the things we have to discuss, you're not getting off easy" he told the boy as he straightened up in his seat "Your principal says that you've been researching sexual intercourse? What's with that?" he asked
"Sexual intercourse is a natural progression in a relationship. There is numerous mate checks, then there is sexual gratification that can or can not happen after a mate check" Nicholas answered so casually
"How? The stuff you learn always amazes me" Dan said in a bit of confusion "What is mate checks?" he asked
"I believe dating" Nicholas replied after a moment of thought
"I thought you lived in the code of chivalry, to love from a far sort of deal?" Dan asked
"Has that worked for you?" Nicholas asked
"As of late, no. Look sex comes with a lot of responsibility, responsibility that you're too young to understand" Dan told him
"What is there to not understand?" Nicholas asked "Man and woman, bodies colliding to transcend into a euphoria…" he began to explain
"Okay, that's a bit too much information that you know. Look, you don't need to know about sex because you're not going to have sex at age four. If you had sex at age four then that would make my teenage years even more depressing than they all ready were. Sex is and should be special, between people who are mature and old enough to understand the concept of transcending to euphoria because sometime there isn't a euphoria but just awkward positioning" Dan told him
"Should I write this down?" Nicholas asked
"No. You're not going to have sex. Besides, I have yet to even know the girl you like…she's not even developed to have sex. No one between the two of you is developed anatomically to have sex" Dan told him "A relationship has other things that are fun besides sex. You can learn about each other's likes and dislikes, go to movies, exhibits, ice cream…stuff that is age appropriate" he said
"I'll concede to your suggestion" Nicholas said after a few moments of contemplation
"Thank you, concede and live by it if you can" Dan told him "See, we handled the sex talk maturely. No weirdness or doubt, we tackled it and now you won't be having it until much, much, much later in life" he smiled as he felt like he accomplished a huge feat in parenting
"You'd much prefer to never discuss this again?" Nicholas asked in conclusion to Dan's awkward facial expressions
"I'll pay you to never ask or think about sex again" Dan quickly replied
With the phone firmly attached to her ear, Blair was on a mad dash to finish off the last minute details for Dan's birthday party. Half of the planning had been made easier since the party was going to be held at the house. Working from home, Blair was able to complete tasks for both Dan's party and finish off approval on the mock ups that Dennis has sent over to her from his portion of the work. Hearing the doorbell ring from within her office, Blair quickly ended her call before she made her way to go answer the door. Feeling a bit relieved to see her mother on the other side, Blair greeted her with a quick kiss on the cheek only to realize the crazy attire that she was wearing. Getting the full effect of her mother's strange ensemble that featured so much color, Blair wasn't sure how she should critique a woman that was leading the way in the fashion industry for girls. Following her mother back to the office, Blair couldn't wait to attack the eye sore that was her clothes once she closed the door behind them.
"Okay, you clearly must've gotten dressed in the dark. Mother, why are you wearing a spring collection in the fall?" Blair asked as her mother took a seat on the sofa in her office
"Because I feel….good in it" Eleanor smiled "You should wear that summer dress I customized for you" she then mentioned
"I was pregnant in that dress. I don't think rocking the maternity look is either cute or fashionable while not pregnant" Blair replied
"It'd be risky, and that's what fashion is about" Eleanor smiled
"Yes, it really is, which sounds good seeing as you have abandoned your post as CEO" Blair said "I take it you've heard the news of Ms. Hamilton" she said
"Is she trying to overthrow me from my position as CEO?" Eleanor asked which Blair found a bit shocking that her mother knew
"So you've known all along and didn't say anything? I had all this pressure on me, and you just decided to not care?" Blair asked
"I decided to not bother with the same thing, she does this every year. I actually have begun to enjoy her attempts" Eleanor thought to herself
"Uh…what part of she's actually trying to dethrone you. Attempts are one thing, but sooner or later success will come of her attempts. You've got to get back to work, fear needs to be put in employees" Blair told her mother
"I think I like my status" Eleanor smiled "Tell me about my grandson, where is he?" she asked
"At school, where he supposed to be" Blair replied "I'm not dropping this topic, not when my butt is on the line with the biggest merger. Fashion Week is coming up and everyone is expecting great things from Waldorf" she said
"And you will do great in my absence. I just need a bit more time until I return to the throne as you call it" Eleanor said "What's on tap for Daniel's party?" she then asked
"What's on tap? Why are you talking like that?" Blair asked her mother as she looked at her strangely
"Because I'm anxious and….intrigued" Eleanor replied just as Justine walked in with stacks of papers in hand for Blair. Setting the papers down on her desk to Blair's displeasure, Justine was caught off guard to see Eleanor sitting on the sofa as she had assumed he woman had fled to an unknown country.
"Holy shi…" Justine began to say as she jumped back in surprise
"Justine. So nice to meet my informant" Eleanor smiled as Blair looked on at Justine
"Of course, why didn't I put two and two together. Gossip and Justine, they go hand in hand" Blair stated as she looked on at Justine
"I had no choice. I had to copy her in to the e-mail due to regulation of meeting laws" Justine replied "It's not my fault you guys have the family drama at an all time high" she then reasoned
"Yes, well this is precisely why I'm in no mood to rush back. Have fun, and give Dennis my best" Eleanor said as she gathered her things
"Mother, we really need to discuss ideas for the women's line" Blair blurted out quickly, hoping to catch her mother's attention
"I'll see you tonight" Eleanor called out
"I'd rather not see you unless you have work…and there's no point yelling because she's…." Blair said before she got the final sound effect of the door closing to confirm what she knew "Gone" she concluded "Is it just me or is my mother acting strange?" she then asked Justine
"Rich woman, jet setting, not caring, rich, and not caring…strange is not the word to describe that, it's called being rich and enjoying it" Justine said as she flopped down on the sofa
"Being lazy with work was never my mother's thing. It's like she has no concern for the very company she built" Blair reasoned
"Or maybe she's just making it rain in Fiji, literally and figuratively" Justine countered as Blair sighed "Where are we at on the Dan party?" she then asked excitedly "I got a moon bouncer with Dan all over it" she then blurted out happily
"That's beyond creepy, but okay. No moon bouncer, this is an adult party" Blair told her "Or at least it will end that way for the birthday boy" she smiled
"Aw, you're giving him ass again, the real kind though?" Justine smiled
"No, he's going to get ass from a certain girl that he's dating or seeing…I have no idea what Humphrey is calling it" Blair reasoned
"I would like to introduce the words, huh? And what? To this equation, because I'm confused" Justine stated
"I got in contact with Sara, and I have a special evening set up for them at the Plaza. Let's just say his birthday kiss will be one to remember" Blair smiled as Justine hid her face in between the pillows while groaning out. "What? Bad idea?" she asked
"You can't be this dumb!" Justine groaned
"What are you talking about? I'm trying to give Dan a good birthday" Blair stated
"Then you should give him the ass and keep Sara's ass out of it" Justine said
"Oh, God" Blair groaned "Not this again" she sighed
"Yes, this again. Blair, you read the book. You know how he feels, did you not talk to him?" Justine asked
"Yes, and I got my answer" Blair replied
"And I was right, he loves you" Justine concluded
"Yes, but that doesn't change anything. Dan is still my best friend, and that's all we're going to be" Blair told her
"Because why? What load of crap did you tell him this time?" Justine asked
"It's not a load of crap. Dan and I are great as friends, relationships complicate things and I don't need complications in any form of my life" Blair said
"Or you're just scared to take a chance on him" Justine said "You create these excuses because you're scared of losing him, which is understandable, but you sabotage yourself before you have any clue as to what could happen between the two of you" she said
"No, I sabotage things because Dan has put his life on hold for me for four years and then some. I don't know how I feel completely, and I don't want to waste a month or a year to discover I might not love him the way he loves me, so he should be with someone that feels it with him now rather than wait for me. I'm not going to lie and say I'm in love with him because I'm not ready, not after the mess of a relationship I just came out of" Blair stated
"What relationship did you just come out of? Last time I checked, you were single. In you're mind with the whole complicated guy, but last time I checked, a guy needs to be present to be in this so called delusional relationship" Justine replied
"You know what I mean" Blair said
"No, I don't and I'm not sure I want to because it's only making you look like a coward" Justine replied "No one expects you to fall madly in love, you expect that because you think in order to have the fairytale, you have to fall head over heels immediately. Love doesn't work like that or at least some love doesn't, it takes time and work then if you're lucky you get that love" she said
"Time is not my side" Blair stated
"That's because you use most of it to create excuses" Justine quickly fired back "One of these days, you will wake up and realize that all these chances you think you have at love will be gone. One of these days you will realize that you can't choose who you love, and I just pray that day will never come because at the looks of things….you're approaching it sooner than you think. Be honest to yourself about Dan, stop shielding him because you're afraid" she said as a moment of silence came between them
"I have to go order the cake" Blair said as she just wanted some reason to escape the room. Groaning in frustration with her boss, Justine just couldn't believe that Blair could be so difficult when it comes to the obvious things that were in front of her. Suddenly getting a plan, Justine immediately pulled out her phone. Making sure that Blair was at her desired location, Justine put the phone up to her ear as she heard the phone ring before the caller picked up.
"Hi Chelsea, it's me Justine. I just wanted to call and personally invite Dennis and his wife to a Waldorf- Humphrey gathering tonight….you know how we feel about family" Justine smiled devilishly after she waited a few moments to get word.
Exchanging awkward glances with the little girl that she had spilled ice cream on, Blair couldn't wait to make a mad dash for the car once Nicholas came out. Doing her best to occupy herself with looking through e-mails of things to come on her meeting calendar, Blair was relieved to see Nicholas coming down the staircase with yet another crown on his head. Loving that the school embraced Nicholas's interests, Blair found herself happy to see that he had chosen to build to his collection of crowns that he had going. Walking over to open up the door for Nicholas, Nicholas immediately entered the car and took his seat on the booster seat. Once Nicholas was buckled in, Blair closed the door before she once again shared an awkward exchange with the girl as she walked to the drivers side of the car. Getting in the car, Blair immediately pulled off as she looked in the mirror to see that Nicholas was pulling out another crown that he had made from within his backpack.
"Is that for Daniel?" Blair asked her son
"Yes" Nicholas answered as he didn't tear his eyes away from the crown
"That looks good. I think he'll love it" Blair smiled "So Nicki, I think we should talk about what your principal brought us in for" she suggested
"I've discussed my interests in the manner with Daniel" Nicholas quickly replied
"Oh, and what did Daniel tell you?" Blair asked
"I'm not anatomically ready for sexual intercourse" Nicholas replied
"That and the fact you're four years old" Blair stated
"Sexual intercourse is a natural progression in a relationship" Nicholas then stated
"Yes, but you're not in a relationship…are you?" Blair asked
"My fairmaiden knows I fancy her, nothing more has come of our cheeky speak" Nicholas told her as Blair laughed to herself for how Nicholas managed to master the English language
"By cheeky you mean flirting?" Blair asked
"By cheeky I mean cheeky" Nicholas replied
"I thought you would come to me about your questions involving girls?" Blair questioned her son "I am a girl" she stated
"Yes, but you're not having sexual intercourse. You'd be irrelevant in my research" Nicholas replied as Blair felt even more embarrassed to know that her son knew she hadn't been sexually active in quite some time
"Okay, me not having sexual intercourse has nothing to do with it. I had sex to have you….and I clearly shouldn't be talking about my sex life with my four year old son…" Blair began to defend herself
"Because its fiction" Nicholas interrupted
"What is it with everyone and my sex life?" Blair muttered to herself as she gripped on tight to the steering wheel "Look, point being is that you're too young to have sex. The only research you need is abstinence" she stated
"Do you wish to have sexual intercourse with Daniel?" Nicholas asked as Blair shook her head in confusion by the leap in conversation
"How did it get to Dan and I?" Blair asked
"In my limited research, sexual intercourse usually occurs between male and female that have a liking to each other. Since you're scientifically considered a female and Daniel a male, I pose the hypothesis" Nicholas said
"No, I don't wish to have sexual intercourse with Daniel….I mean how awkward would that be for you to see us be all couply and sexy….I really hate this topic" Blair stumbled for words
"I'd have no protest to it. Daniel fancies you, so it'd be expected" Nicholas said
"Wait, you know that…Daniel fancies me?" Blair questioned
"You'd have a mind of a chimp to not recognize his like of you" Nicholas replied in a generalized manner, which still made Blair feel insulted
"Okay, well….some chimps are smart" Blair said trying to defend the species "Daniel and I are…we're like your parents, well I am your parent, and Daniel is going to be your legal guardian soon. So you know that Daniel is my friend, and us having…you know, it will change to something else, and I know you dislike change" she tried to explain
"If his like makes you smile, than I can only support" Nicholas replied as Blair looked back at him through the mirror "You deserve whatever your heart desires. Surely the Queen gets lonely without a King" he said
"I have my Prince, I'm satisfied with that" Blair replied as she was enjoying the comfort she was receiving from her son
"I've seen you cry. I've seen you smile…and Daniel makes you smile" Nicholas said as he tore his attention away from the crown to look at his mother in the mirror "I just want my mother to be happy" he said as Blair's heart melted with his declaration "So now do you wish to have sexual intercourse with Daniel?" he asked after a moment passed
"Okay, no more sex talk" Blair quickly replied as the moment came and went while she turned her attention back to driving.
As the workers came in and out of he house to set up for the party, Blair was on a mad dash to get dressed and to get Nicholas ready as well. Directing the men, who were carrying the tables, Blair saw that they were placed in the correct spaces on the spot that Justine had mapped off before she headed back inside. Heading up the stairs, Blair saw that Nicholas was dressed and playing his castle, which in her mind constituted as a check off on one less thing she had to do. Walking past Dan's room, Blair couldn't help but notice standing in front of his mirror in just his pants as his chiseled chest glistened with water as it was apparent he had just stepped out of the shower. Stopping for a second, Blair had looked on with intrigue as it had been quite some time since she had seen a six pack like that. Chuck hadn't been one to work on his body, but with Dan, Blair knew that he was active in sports and working out, so a chest like that had much work behind it. Putting on his shirt, Blair quickly snapped out of her reverie once she saw that Dan was turning around.
"Oh, hey. I didn't know you were standing there" Dan said as he looked up to see his friend
"Oh, no…I was just coming from Nicholas's room. I wanted to know if you were ready because everything is being set up, and he guests should be arriving soon" Blair replied nervously
"Uh, well I'm just about finished. I still have to do the hair" Dan laughed
"You actually do your hair, so there's effort in making it look bad" Blair teased
"Yes, I put forth effort in my hair. I might do it to your liking since you've set up a great night for me with Sara" Dan smiled "What made you do that?" he asked as he finished sealing off his chiseled chest by buttoning up his shirt
"You deserve a good birthday. With everything I've put you through, you deserve a night about you" Blair replied
"You haven't put me through anything" Dan replied "I mean you have, but nothing that we haven't worked through" he added
"Yeah well it takes a special guy to put up with all of my craziness" Blair laughed
"And I happen to think we put up with each other" Dan told her as he made his way into the bathroom to put some gel in his hair while Blair looked on while she fumbled around with a folded up envelope in her pocket
"I guess. Four years and it comes to this. I mean I never would've thought we'd be living together, let alone raising a child together" Blair said as she took a seat on the edge of Dan's bed
"I don't think I could've even written that sort of ending. You think if we have a class reunion, people would be shocked by this turn of events?" Dan asked her as she took a seat beside her on the bed as he continue to do his hair
"Hazel is in disbelief still, but then again bright colors fascinate her….which explains her wardrobe" Blair said as she began to think to herself on the blonde minion she once had as Dan and her shared a laugh. "I actually wanted to give you an early present. Something that might best be shared between the two of us" she said before she slowly pulled the envelope out of her pocket to hand it to him
"Is this what I think it is?" Dan asked as he looked at the envelope before he eagerly began to open it "I thought it'd take longer?" he questioned
"It usually would, but the social worker got such great recommendations from the doctors and therapists. It didn't take long for them to see that you were indeed a father figure to Nicholas" Blair said as they looked on at the adoption certificate together "We put a rush on the process and here it is" she smiled
"This…this will and has been the best present I've ever received" Dan laughed as tears welled up in his eyes. Feeling as if he was being overly emotional in the moment, Dan quickly rubbed his eyes "Aww! I'm acting like a girl now" he laughed as he rubbed his eyes while Blair just looked on at him
"It's taken some time, but you've always been a father to him, even while his own father existed out there. You've always loved him, and without having to be told. This actually feels too late because you've been his father since the day he was born" Blair told him as Dan looked at her for a moment before Dan laughed to himself for a moment.
"I think I've been tested in the parenting area" Dan laughed "Nicki and I had the sex talk" he brought up as all Blair could do was shake her head and laugh as he knew exactly what he was talking about
"Where does he get this stuff?" Blair asked in disbelief "I mean he knows so much for his age, and it's cool, but I swear he learns at rapid speed" she laughed
"He's insanely smart to the point where he's beginning to make me feel like an idiot" Dan replied
"He's calling it sexual intercourse, so it least he kept it proper in that sense" Blair laughed
"Yeah" Dan agreed "He says that it's the natural progression in a relationship for when a male and a female take a liking to each other" he continued to laugh "It just got weird, and I paid him to not think, have, or research sex. I just always imagine having the sex talk when he was like sixteen or forty" he then said as Blair just laughed
"I suppose I'm happy that he's in a love from a far relationship. Not sure I liked his choice girl" Blair replied as Dan's phone began to vibrate. Reaching over to check the caller identification of the phone to see that he had gotten a text from Sara. "Is it Sara?" she asked
"Yeah, she said that she'll see me tomorrow?" Dan said in confusion
"She must be referring to your little slumber party at the Plaza. Maybe she's being cute in a kiddy way….sorry, honest mistake" Blair said before she realized the statement she had made
"No, I think she's not coming tonight" Dan sighed
"That's strange, I talked to her and she said that she would be coming" Blair questioned
"Well, I guess something came up. She's aspiring to be the next Cinderella….I know that sounds as bad as it seems, but it's cute" Dan said before realizing what he said as the two shared in the laughter
"Yes because that's a logical aspiration to have. If that doesn't work, there's always Arial" Blair teased
"Ugh…well, looks like tonight I'll be single and ready to mingle" Dan sighed
"Would that be such a bad thing? It might mess up your birthday kiss, but I have made this party fun and as adult as possible" Blair replied
"With Nicholas attending?" Dan asked
"Okay, just think of the jello cubes as jello shots" Blair replied "Now c'mon" she said as she got up from the bed to pull him up with her. Making their way out of his bedroom, Dan and Blair laughed as they headed to the top of the staircase to hear laughter coming from downstairs. Surprised that a guest had all ready made it, Dan and Blair were quickly greeted by Justine. Thinking that it was normal to see Justine, Dan and Blair were both surprised to see Dennis and his wife in the patio area.
"I thought you weren't inviting them?" Dan whispered to Blair as they both stood stunned "I thought we weren't supposed to be married?" he then questioned
"I didn't" Blair muttered under her breath as she looked over to see Justine smiling from ear to ear. In that moment, Blair knew that this sudden invitation had Justine written all over it.
"Happy Birthday Daniel" Dennis and his wife said excitedly as they handed over his wrapped gift.
Family and friends began to saunter into the house before it finally turned into the party that Blair had hoped for. Throughout the party, Blair hadn't managed to get that moment alone with Justine as she planned, but as time passed she was beginning to realize she might not. Dan had done his best to flirt with the other girls at the party, but knew that him flirting would be bad for the marriage cover. Nate found it a bit amusing to see the struggle of the fake marriage in person, but he never thought Dan would have this much trouble with it. As they all began to gather around the birthday cake, Blair did her best to make eyes contact with Justine, but Justine appeared to be on a mission. Making his way towards the cake, Dan looked on at the flare of his birthday candles while the flashes of camera lights went off on the birthday boy.
"What do you wish for Dan?" Rufus called out as he filmed his son while the other guests laughed
"I think he's supposed to blow out the candles before making the wish" Lilly told her husband
"Then you should do that. Blow out the candles, we don't have all day" Nate laughed as he urged before Dan put his beer down to lean forward to take a moment to think of what he wished for. After a moment, Dan breathed in before blowing out his candles. Erupting into cheers, everyone began to clap for him.
"Thank you. Thank you" Dan smiled as he hugged those closest to him in appreciation
"You should thank the wife" Dennis's wife suggested "C'mon give the kiss of appreciation" she smiled
"Yeah, give the birthday kiss" Justine praised as Nate was beginning to pick up what Justine was getting at
"Kiss the wife. You've got to follow tradition" Nate teased as Dan and Blair turned to look at each other.
"What's going on?" Lilly leaned in to ask Rufus "Since when are they married?" she asked
"It's a long story, just smile and go along with it" Rufus replied under his breath to Lilly as Eleanor and Cyrus leaned in to hear the response as well.
"Well" Dan said as he looked at Blair realizing that there was no way they could get out of this. Giving a final look over in Justine's direction, Blair gave a slight glare as Justine just smiled back at her. Justine knew that in that moment Blair was plotting all the tedious tasks she'd have her assistant do the next day, but it didn't matter because Justine knew she'd have to force Blair to the realization she needed to get. Looking back at Dan, Blair knew that they'd have to make this convincing for Dennis to buy that they were a married couple. Feeling a bit of comfort from the smile that was on Dan's face, Blair found that her mind was slowly put to ease as she just felt safe in his gaze. Leaning in slowly, Blair's lips connected with Dan as a spark instantly ignited. In her mind, Blair thought she should've pulled away but a part of her felt like she just couldn't break the kiss. It began to feel like they were the only two people in the room as they kissed each other, just forgetting the room full of people that they had within their presence. Looks exchanged between the guests as those who knew Dan and Blair best, knew that something more was happening than just a simple kiss.
"Point. Set. Match to Justine" Justine said to herself as she looked on at Dan and Blair with a smile from ear to ear. Breaking their kiss, Dan and Blair looked on strangely at each other for a moment as they both wondered what the kiss was about. Out of the corner of his eye, Dan's attention suddenly turned to see Sara walking in with a gift in hand. Noticing his attention changing, Justine looked over to see that Sara had made it before she rolled her eyes in annoyance "This bitch" she sighed to herself in disbelief before she looked back at Blair, knowing that Blair had countered her response with one of her own. Though Justine had saw her retaliation, Blair couldn't help but feel like the realization had finally hit her on what she wanted from Dan, and it only began to sink as he exchanged secret smiles with Sara from where he stood.
Once Dennis and his wife had left the party, Blair felt as if she was torn between being happy or unhappy that Dan was going to meet up with Sara at the Plaza. Putting considerable effort to keep up the cover, Dan had thought it'd be best to leave at separate times. So while Dan got a head start on Sara to the hotel, Sara hung back as she appeared to linger around the restroom. Exchanging fake smiles with Sara, Blair didn't know whether smiling at Sara was going to help the circumstances of how she was feeling at this point. Hearing the laughter of Dan and her parents, Blair was relieved to see that Nicholas was still enjoying himself as he was the center of attention between the four adults. Playing with her hands nervously, Blair felt the sweat build up as she nervously went back and forth in her mind as to what she should do to relieve herself of this aching feeling that ate away at her. Noticing Justine make her way out of the restroom and into the office, Blair quickly walked over towards her assistant and immediately pulled her into the office, closing the door behind her.
"This is your fault!" Blair declared
"What's my fault?" Justine asked as Blair just looked at her
"Dennis and his wife showing up, Sara not showing up. You did all of this" Blair stated "I don't know whether to be proud that I breed schemers or furious that you put us in a awkward position of having to pretend on his birthday of all nights" she said
"No, I didn't force you to do anything. You're very capable of playing a role, that kiss was the real deal, and you know it" Justine quickly replied as she wouldn't allow Blair to deflect blame on to her "I saw it. I saw it for the first time with my own eyes, you like him and as more than a friend" she smiled
"Stop doing that!" Blair exclaimed "He's with Sara. I set him up with Sara. This isn't happening, this can't happen" she protested
"In the fantasy land that has left you with a broken heart and biological fatherless child, yes, this can't happen. In reality, this is happening" Justine smiled proudly as she loved being proven right "Just admit, I saved your ass" she said doing a little dance
"He's going to be with Sara tonight, and if they…" Blair reasoned "It's too late" she then added
"Oh, please. Nothing is too late. If you can wait for this grand realization for four years, than no blonde is going to ruin this meeting of reality and truth in your brain" Justine replied
"I'm being serious!" Blair said as she slowly freaked out "What do I do?" she asked after a few moments of pacing
"Do you want to hear the rest of my evil plan? I mean a Dair shipper always has logic on their side, so it'd be easy to map this out" Justine asked
"Dair?" Blair questioned
"You know, Dan and Blair. Your names put together…" Justine began to explain
"Okay, okay. I get it. What's your plan?" Blair asked anxiously
"Well, I don't think you have to worry about Sara going to the Plaza for two reasons" Justine told her
"And why is that?" Blair asked
"Because lets just say that her legs aren't the only thing that are loose and spreads easy, I believe her bowels are loose as well and spreading through the pipe systems of New York" Justine said as she pulled a box of laxatives out of her purse to show Blair
"You gave her laxatives?" Blair asked as she snatched the box out of Justine's hand
"I figured you'd pull something, so thankfully I carried my insurance with me to keep the plan going. She clearly doesn't pay attention to what she eats because that little blue pill was screaming danger from a mile away" Justine said
"Who carries laxatives with them?" Blair questioned in disbelief
"All you need to know is that that old hag ran my nerves, so I had her bowels run every five minutes…sadly that relationship didn't work out, you know, with the guy" Justine told her
"I don't have time to know the details of that love story gone wrong, what's the second reason?" Blair asked
"If you didn't like the first reason, do you really want to hear the second?" Justine questioned Blair for her own sanity
"You're right, I don't want to testify in a court of law of which I'm sure you'll end up in" Blair replied
"Your welcome" Justine told her "Just go" she then told her
"What about Nicholas?" Blair asked
"Don't worry, I'll make sure he's taken care of…you know, without the laxatives and all" Justine replied as Blair looked at her for a moment, in which she quickly had to clarify. Quickly running out of the room, Blair ran down the stairs to grab her coat from the closet.
"Hey, Blair. This party was…." Rufus began to say as he saw her run past them
"Can't talk. Gotta go. Bye. Thanks for coming" Blair blurted out as she gave Nicholas a quick kiss before running out of the house with her keys in hand.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, Dan sat nervously as he awaited Sara's arrival. Unsure if he should feel glad about having an adult night out, Dan felt as if his nerves were more on edge than usual. Dan had been intimate with Sara before, but somehow he felt like this time it was different, like he was doing something he really didn't want to do. In his mind, Dan replayed the kiss over and over in his head. Wanting so badly to chalk it up to just a birthday kiss, Dan didn't want to allow himself to hype it up for more than what it really was. Blair didn't want more, Blair didn't see him that way, Dan continued to say to himself as he just sat there. Relieving himself of his shoes, Dan hoped that it would make him feel more comfortable than what he felt right now. Feeling no sense of comfort in that, Dan got up from the bed and began to jog around the suite to loosen himself up. Realizing that he was acting like he was about to play a soccer game, Dan felt as if he was acting ridiculous at this point. Reluctantly and feeling dejected, Dan flopped down on the edge of the bed as he just kept replaying the same thought over and over in his head. Slowly, Dan felt like paying attention to the feeling he had in himself that he wasn't in the mood to be with Sara, Dan reached out to put his shoes on before he heard a knock at the door. Thinking to ignore it, Dan saw that plan as useless because he was sure there was no escape route out of the hotel. Dan knew that his only way out was to be honest, he had slept with her once, so he owed her the truth. Making his way over towards the door, Dan reached his hand out to open the door. Surprised to see Blair standing on the other side, Dan stood in confusion.
"Blair? What are you doing here?" Dan asked
"I know that you were expecting Sara, and that's to be fair because you two are a something now, but I had to tell you something. I lied…I lied to you when you asked if I felt anything for you. I felt it, I've felt it. I'm not sure if I love you, but I know that I don't want to see you with another girl, which is why I got so mad about he whole sex thing. I was mad because I wanted to believe that if we ever were to make the non existent happen then it'd mean something because I want it to. I don't know what these feelings mean or if they'll progress into love, but I know that I like how you make me laugh over the dumbest things, I like how you sang twinkle twinkle little star to me without making me feel guilty for liking that song as I sleep, I like how you feel the need to protect me, I like how you force me to do my own laundry, I like how you always let me finish the last of the popcorn on our movie night, I like how you actually try to give Breakfast at Tiffany's a chance every time we watch it, I like how you're patient with me even when I drive you crazy, but most of all….I love how you love my son. I've been scared of this, us but I don't want to miss out on us. I don't want miss this chance with you like I did six years ago" Blair rambled on as tears welled up in her eyes, just hoping that she wasn't too late. Thinking that Blair was off on her years, Dan began to realize that she had meant to say six years ago as in the first time they had kissed. Lost in contemplation, Blair grew anxious by the minute."Oh, for crying out loud Humphrey" Blair said as she leaned forward to kiss Dan. It didn't take Dan long to realize that she was in fact showing her feelings as she kissed him back. Slowly backing him into the room, Dan closed the door behind her.
Author's Note: I guess now you have to wonder, "Did they have sex?"