Washington, DC Stories: UNEDITED

by Robyn-Enjolras

Beginning with a fantastic prologue about Bella and Jacob Twilight, duh the DC stories happily make their debut. This is the product of three girls on a six-hour bus ride to Washington, DC. It's a crossover because there is a "Pushing Daisies" part.

10. Hokey Pokey Pickles

THE WASHINGTON, DC STORIES: UNEDITED

BY CLAIR, ROBYN, AND NICOLE

CHAPTER SEVEN: HOKEY POKEY PICKLES

BY ROBYN AND CLAIR

At a shady bar in D.C., Five had two beers and John Wilkes Booth watched Star Wars on his video iPod. Mrs Marwaha was doing shots in the corner while finding deep religious meanings in Shakespeare's complete works. John Wilkes Booth, an actor, noticed Marwaha's Shakespeare books and remembered when he played Marc Antony in Julius Caeasar. Just then, Judas walked in dressed as a clown because his previous ideas and jobs left him in poverty. Everyone blinked except for Marwaha, who was incapable of blinking. Instead she fainted on Five who collapsed on John Wilkes Booth who rolled out the window causing wind to blow the candle off the bar onto Wanda Marwaha, causing her shirt to catch fire. Clair rejoiced as Marwaha died in ferocious fire. Marwaha's last words were "I'll give you an A, I promise I will if this fire stops, maybe I'll give a 100 percent, oh, my bad, no I won't. PICKLE!" Five likes pickles so he got this many (2)!

Five did the hokey pokey, but when he turned himself around, he was in Whangdoodle Land. John Wilkes Booth appeared beside Five, and asked him if the Hokey Pokey really what it was all about. They came to a river and put their left hands in, the water was so cold so they put their left hands out and shook them all about, unfortunately they got stuck in a gum tree. John Wilkes Booth became bored and giggled with glee as he shot a wombat with a Lincoln hat. The wombat didn't die, though, it turned into a man-eating pillow. The man-eating pillow growled and snapped at Booth, so John fed it Five. Five, now in the pillow's tummy, found two hollow coconut halves and began recreating Monty Python. Brave Sir Robyn screamed like Michelle and ate a noodle. The noodle was really a poisoned hair ribbon which caused Sir Robyn to turn into a strawberry which frightened Lancelot so Lance (for no other reason other than wanting to) gave Sir Robyn CPR but split his tight pants in the process and had to borrow John's skirt. John bitch-slapped Lance and an '80s B-grade movie fight scene started. It slowly became a "Matrix" scene which wound up lasting 4 hours and which was observed only by Jingle and Fleece who spent the whole time playing the same game of war.

John and Lance thought 4 hours was enough and went out for Chinese food. They both got food poisoning and spent the night fighting over Lou before realizing Lou was a boy; this made Lance excited. John's fiancée and his sister came over and took him for some counseling. His shrink was the famous Dubya so Booth shot him and escaped on a loose pont from a nearby fair. The pony could not go as fast as Booth wanted so John shot him and ran to the Pan-American Exposition in Buffalo, on September 6, 1901.

He was five days and 100 years early and in the wrong city so he bough some socks, cotton candy, and 11 red-bottomed balloons before hitchhiking to NYC. As he galloped on one of his five pong-playing dogs that he bought at a log fair, John Wilkes Booth heard a gunshot and someone shouting, "That smexy kid just shot President William McKinley." John Wilkes Booth was confused because dogs shouldn't talk but he remembered the exceptions he made for those at the log fait and turned towards the scene but swapped his dog for a tricycle with a horn and pretty pink flowers. He arrived and saw an attractive young man toting a gum and wearing a snazzy gold hat. John Wilkes Booth made a rope out of the flowers and lassoed the hat off the guy's head hoping it would hide his identity. Besides the fact that few people from 1865 were still alive, John Wilkes Booth and the man, McKinley assassin Leon Czolgosz, decided to head out for the Oregon Trail. It was too bad that the Oregon Trail actually led to California so, instead of a beaver hat, they had to wear speedos; they were arrested for indecent exposure. Davy Crockett paid Leon Czolgosz and John Wilkes Booth's bail and went with them to Oregon to watch "Spamalot". When they got there, all that was left was half a coconut and a fish which they decided to eat after slapping each other with it.

FIN

There is a picture of "Roothal" aka Russell in 20 yearsm sporting pig-tails and a body suit. Next to him is a tree with a baboon and a poison apple. The tree is a gum tree. There is a bird on the tree. There is a Pit of Despair under the tree.