Chapter Ten

I shouldn't have taken Blue to my room. But I didn't think anything of it until after we were already there.

I shut the door behind us as Blue and I made our way into my bedroom. Neither of us hit the lights, so the room was dark, and we felt our way through the blackness to find my bed. I still didn't think anything of it. My mind was a little preoccupied, and as I sat down on the edge of my bed, I couldn't think of anything but Blue.

He kissed me more fiercely than he had outside the restaurant, a sort of desperation fighting from within him. Putting his arms on either side of me on the bed, he leaned into me, our noses touching and our lips molded together. I reached both of my hands up to his face, holding him as he shoved his tongue into my mouth, dancing with mine like a well-choreographed ballet. But I had no idea what I was doing. Blue was running the show.

I fell back on my bed, and Blue crawled on top of me, kneeling above me so that our bodies were barely touching. But I could feel his knees next to mine, his hands now resting beside my head as we continued kissing, our breath becoming quickly uneven. It was like a song, our breath coming out in short and consistent intervals like a harmony, this whole night a single performance that could make or break us.

But I still wasn't really thinking about anything else. Even as Blue's lips left mine and moved along my cheekbone, down to my ear, and along my collarbone, I didn't think where this could lead. This was just fun, more intense than anything else I had ever experienced, and I was kind of enjoying it. That feeling I got when I was with Blue—it exploded now.

I allowed a whimper to escape my lips as Blue tickled my collarbone with his lips, and I moved one of my hands under his shirt. The soft skin of his stomach felt like silk, the toughness of his abs like bricks. And when his hands moved to my own stomach, I still didn't think anything. His lips made their way back to mine, and I reached my free hand back to his cheek.

I only thought something of it when his hands moved to my belt buckle on my jeans. As he fumbled with it, trying to get it undone, I realized exactly where this was going. And while I thought a month was a little too long to wait to be kissed—and perfect for being kissed like this—a month was too soon for anything else. It was only a month, only a measly thirty-one days, and he wasn't Silver. I wasn't one of those girls.

So, I moved my hand from Blue's cheek to his chest, pushing him a little away. "Blue," I said as our lips disconnected. It didn't take long for them to meet again. I pushed him further away, moving my body a little uncomfortably beneath him. Our lips broke apart again, and I struggled to catch my breath before I spoke again. "Blue, stop."

"What?" he asked, still kneeling over me but actually listening to me. I moved further across my bed, pulling myself out from under him and sitting up. He sat down on the bed, sitting on his knees, with a quizzical look on his face. It didn't take me long to figure out why he was confused. The bedroom wasn't the most normal spot to go to in order to just make out.

I smiled weakly at him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lead you on like that. I just… kind of wanted to go somewhere a little more private than the living room since Silver and Ethan are here. So, it was either here or the bathroom, and… well, the bathroom isn't the most romantic spot in the apartment. Sorry." I grabbed his hands, squeezing them gently. "I would like to wait. You're a great guy, but I don't feel comfortable going to that level in our relationship yet."

Blue just grinned at me, squeezing my hands back. "Okay. No, that's completely all right, Lyra. I'm glad you told me," he said, and he sounded genuine about it. He leaned his forehead against mine, our noses touching. "Don't be afraid to tell me what you want or don't want, Lyra. I don't want to force you into anything you're not ready for."

"Thank you, Blue," I whispered. He wiggled his nose against mine, a little Eskimo kiss between us. I laughed, moving my head up to kiss him on the lips. He held my face in his hands, cradling me so gently, and as we broke apart, he ran his thumbs along my cheeks. I couldn't keep a smile off my face, so impressed by Blue's response.

But it brought my mind back to Silver. I felt guilty about it, thinking about Silver at a time like this. He hadn't even crossed my mind when Blue and I had been making out, but now that Blue had approved of my wish, Silver's face popped up. Because he wouldn't have waited. At least, not as the man he was now.

I closed my eyes, trying to force myself to not think about Silver. But now that he had appeared in my thoughts, I couldn't get rid of him. I felt anger, rage at the way Silver acted now, and all of the happiness I had felt bursting between Blue and I earlier was gone. And why did none of those girls that Silver slept with have morals? Didn't they care?

I was, admittedly, probably a rare breed of girl. It wasn't often that you heard of a girl in her twenties who hadn't lost her virginity yet, and while I didn't preach abstinence, I did think that sex wasn't something to joke about. Why engage in something so intimate, and consequential, if you didn't feel anything? But most girls did.

So, I didn't want to just go at it now with Blue just because we could. I figured, honestly, that Blue had lost his V-card already; his handsome appearance and cool demeanor was probably a turn-on for a lot of girls—even me now that he had grown up a bit—and I wouldn't have been surprised. But that didn't intimidate me. I wanted to love Blue before we did anything. And a month just wasn't long enough to love someone.

I just wanted romance. Was that too much to ask?

Besides, I didn't want to sink to Silver's level. Part of the deal we had made was that we would go at this contest in our own ways. That meant that I would stick with my relatively chaste methods of wooing, and if that turned out to be the better deal, I was okay with that. And if Silver ended up engaged first, well, I would be shocked. But it could happen.

"Well, now that I've completely killed the moment," I said with another laugh, brushing Blue's hair out of his eyes, "I think it's time we head off to bed. I already got the blankets out for you—they're sitting on the couch." I let my gaze travel over towards my door, and now that my vision had adjusted to the darkness, I could actually see. "Do you need help with anything?"

Blue smiled back at me, his eyes flashing. "I think I'm all set."

I jumped off my bed, stumbling to my feet. Blue rose to his feet more gracefully than I had, and as we reached the door, he grabbed my hand. I glanced at him for a moment, turning my eyes away as I reached for the handle. Pushing the door opened, I stepped out into the hallway first, fingers still entwined with Blue's.

The two of us froze as Silver stepped out of the bathroom, toothbrush in his mouth and—again with no shirt on. I forced a smile, brushing a hand through my obviously messy hair. Blue cleared his throat, saying a quick greeting to Silver. He dropped my hand, walking down the hallway towards the living room.

Well, it didn't take a genius to figure out what it looked like happened in there. And since Silver was no genius, he could probably piece it together and make a quick assumption. By the look he was giving me, he definitely thought something had happened in my bedroom. I was a little disgusted that he looked impressed.

I scowled, brushing past him and entering the bathroom. Grabbing my toothbrush, I put toothpaste on it and shoved it in my mouth. So long as the two of us had our mouths busy, we didn't have to talk. And that was preferable. Silver couldn't ask any questions if he couldn't talk—but… maybe I needed to clear things up.

Silver came back into the bathroom after me, bumping me out of the way and leaning towards the sick to spit. Turning the water back on, he grabbed a cup and gurgled some water. Obnoxiously. And when he leaned back down to spit again, the water went splashing, a drop or two of his spit getting on the mirror. I rolled my eyes as Silver wiped it off with his fingers, smudging the clear glass.

"So… you and Blue…" Silver said, raising his eyebrows at me.

I spit out my toothpaste, washing my toothbrush off. "It's always been me and Blue, hasn't it?" I asked, though I knew exactly what he was referring to. "No, nothing happened. We were just… making out. Not that it's any of your business, Mr. Nosy. You should be minding your own business. You knew he was coming here tonight. I told you."

"Yeah, I just didn't think he'd be in your room." Silver held up his hands defensively as I glared at him through the smudged mirror. "Going from, 'Oh, I don't care if he kisses me or not' to that in one day sounds a little fishy to me." His voice grew squeaky as he attempted to mimic me, and I put my hands on my hips.

"That was nothing. And who cares if he was in my room? I'm a grown woman, Silver. I can take care of myself. You know all about that." I tapped his shoulder as I walked around him to get to the medicine cabinet.

Silver made a humph noise, crossing his arms. "I didn't doubt it. But if he ever goes too far if you don't want to, I will definitely take care of him for you, Lyra. Don't do what you don't want to do. As fun and thrilling as I think it is, I know what people are like. There are guys out there who aren't quite as… accepting. I'm not sure you're the kind of girl who is okay with being taken advantage of. If he does, let me know."

I furrowed my eyebrows, slightly impressed by Silver's concern. There were times when I hated it, when I just wanted to shove my fingers in my ears and sing when he spoke, but this… he sounded more like a friend than he had in a long time. The concern was almost touching. Almost. But it wasn't quite enough to make me falter.

"Wow, okay…" I muttered, attempting so sound a little annoyed. I grabbed my face moisturizer from the cabinet and dabbed it on my face. "Thanks, but Blue is very understanding. I don't think we're going to have a problem. Especially not one that will need your help fixing. So, thanks but no thanks."

A knock on the bathroom door made me jump, almost dropping my moisturizer. I caught it before it dropped, holding it carefully as I looked at Blue in the doorway. I had forgotten the door was open… hopefully he hadn't heard too much. It wasn't as if anything either of us had said was bad, but Silver's concern could have been insulting.

"Mind if I just brush my teeth and stuff?" Blue asked, wiggling a toothbrush and toothpaste in his hands.

"I'm all done, anyway," Silver said, his voice hard, and he slid past Blue. "'Night."

"'Night, Silver." I frowned, rubbing the moisturizer into my skin. Really… all I wanted was for things to be normal again. And I was sure Blue wanted things to not be so complicated with Silver. "I'm all done, too. See you in the morning."

I brushed past Blue without a goodnight kiss or a hug or anything. I just retreated to my room, too defeated to know what else to do.

Author's Note: I'm pretty sure I've updated with something every single day this week except for Monday. I think this spring break has been quite productive! I'm heading back to school on Sunday, and I don't know if I'll be able to write anything tomorrow, so another update (of anything) might not be until Monday or Tuesday.

Notice how I am carefully avoiding the topic of the make out scene at the beginning? XD Those things will be the death of me…

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon.