AN: So I've been busy. Really busy. Sorry folks :P - I hope this makes up for it.
Begin!
"Gear check for Ace... Grenades: tear gas, two flashbangs, three frag. Check. Anti-ballistic uniform needs some mending, but in good condition, still good for more than a few missions. Hidden knife ballistics in the forearm need tuning, the latch is loose on the left forearm and needs replacing, but you're missing the minimotor, the shock absorber, and three springs. You're not Ayase-kohai, your knife skills suck balls. Ok, Kouhei. The hell have you been doing with the automatic knife thrower? Those are handmade."
Kouhei chuckled nervously as he held his tri-corner hat in front of his chest with an apologetic face. I rooted through his duffle bag to find a strange crossbow of shorts and I observed it curiously.
"I may have been fiddling around with an invention of my own..."
I grimaced.
The last time he tried to 'make an invention' he made a failed attempt to make an pneumatic gauntlet after playing a game called Fallout 3 from America. The idiot had broken three fingers due to a design failure and we had agreed as a full team that he would stay away from tinkering and leave it to Miura and me. I had made the entire outfit uniforms that were bulletproofed for most small firearms and Miura made things like grappling hook launchers with a shock absorption frame that actually didn't cause whiplash to rip arms out of shoulder sockets. It's actually REALLY impressive, I swear to Kami that it makes me feel like Batman. It can be surprisingly fragile though. A bad fall could make it useless.
"What is it this time?"
"It's a crossbow! For grenades!"
I pulled the pin off a dummy grenade and threw it at him.
"AHHH! KYOU YOU'RE CRAZY!"
I watched as he ran further into the clearing of the forest we were in and jumped in the stream nearby. I chuckled as I turned to Miura who was polishing and cleaning our firearms.
"How long till he realizes its a fake?"
"I'd say a minute - it's about as long as he can hold his breath after running that hard."
Ayase giggled as she fanned herself with a manila folder.
"Kou-baka is an idiot. He'll stay for two, right Kyousuke onii-chan?"
Miura coughed.
"So... Kyousuke-taichou. Why are we here? In a forest? In the middle of nowhere?" the silver haired Otaku Phantom asked pleasantly.
"Relax. It's a school trip. It's normal."
"No, it WAS a school trip until you snuck our Phantom gear over without telling us. How did you get the student council to approve of a trip for high school second, and middle school third years to coincide at the exactly same area by Mt. Fuji?"
"...Uh, Ayase? Help your precious sempai out here?"
"Mmmm. I was wondering that myself Kyousuke onii-chan. Oh! And shouldn't we be with our class groups?"
"It's all been taken care of. We've 'accidently' been assigned a lot of free time, the four of us. Plus Miura's technically a second year. If he was a third year the school system might actually push him out - crafty bastard."
"I aim to please, Kyousuke-taichou. But seriously."
"I, uh, may have promised to join the student council..."
"WAIT! But taichou! You're a member of the Game Research Club! A member of the Student Council isn't allowed to be a member of any other-"
"AS AN ADVISOR. Not really a full member. I never did any election runs. Calm down Miura."
"Oh thank the kami of eroges." he cleaned and put away the last of the guns, "I was worried that we might lose a significant portion of our club members."
"...What do I have to do with you keeping club members?"
"...After you joined a dozen girls joined as well. Cute girls. One of which looks like Misora-chan from the famous eroge Sh-" he was interrupted as four knives landed by his crotch.
"...Kyousuke onii-chan. Quit the game club."
"Heh heh heh..." I chuckled nervously. "You can put the knives down Ayase... Besides its kinda hard to get in contact with Miura without it."
"...don't need any more bitches by my Kyousuke onii-chan..."
"Huh?"
"Nothing Kyousuke onii-chan!~"
Ayase may be adorable, beautiful, and kind, but when she's scary, she's terrifying.
"YOU TRICKED ME!" Kouhei yelled as he ambush tackled me from bushes nearby.
Lunge from unknown angle. Target taken to air.
Note: Anger and frustration to impediment logical attack processes.
Counter: Outward crane strikes to insides of wrists then let natural enemy motion move target into hands. Flip over via enemy force.
Follow: Weave right elbow under armpit to back, grab left wrist with left hand then force onto ground face first. Shift right hand grip then dislocate arm.
WAIT.
"Goddamn it Kouhei I almost took your arm!"
"Fuck! That actually really freaking hurts Kyou!"
I sighed.
"Well we're done here anyways pack up! It'll be the foraging lessons at the school joint camp in twenty minutes. We're sneaking back into camp! Good luck with the luggage guys."
"TAICHO YOU BASTARD!"
"KYOOOOOOOOOUUUUSKEEEEEEEEEE-TEMEEEEEEEEEE!"
"Onii-chan! Wait for me! Have fun you two!"
I was actually worried that the two might be caught with four duffle bag of Phantom gear, but they made it back in time. The whole event was to foster friendships from middle to high schoolers through but it was more because the fact that Kirino and Ayase's middle school 3rd years had some of the most promising students in the country because of a few really high profile kids.
Conning the high school board to make this thing happen was like taking candy from a five year old. Easy, and almost cruel.
Still even I thought it was a bit strange that they'd allow a trip of this magnitude so early in the year. You really plan ahead, don't you? Schools of Japan.
Sigh. Oh well. This isn't the time for paranoia.
"So, ready to blend in with the civvies, Ayase-kohai?"
"Always, Kyousuke onii-chan!"
"People are gonna give us strange looks if you refer to me so friendly, kohai. Look. The guys from my class are glaring at me right now."
Ayase shook her head and she leaned towards me, going on tip-toes to whisper in my ear.
"It's because you're talking to a cute, impressionable girl, Kyousuke o-nii-chan~"
"Don't blow in my ear as you say onii-chan, dammit."
"Ah! Kirino! It's your super-hot onii-chan!"
"Kanako-chan! Don't be silly! And you! Aniki-no-baka! Stop flirting with Ayase-chan!"
Whoa! Kirino-imouto, you really need to learn that throwing rocks at your poor onii-chan isn't the answer! Violence isn't the answer!
...
Oh wait it is! That's why I made Phantom... but still!
"Oi! Calm down Kirino. For goodness sakes! You're not at all cute when you get mad!"
She kicked me in the shin before hopping up and down holding her foot.
She... really doesn't learn, does she?
"What is your leg made of Kyou-baka?"
"...Awesomeness?"
Kirino glared at me before huffing and turning her head in anger.
"Baaaaaaaaaka."
"Hm? Are those the hair clips that I bought you?"
Oh... I wonder if I can barbeque tonights dinner with Kirino's face.
"Th-they just match my outfit well today is all."
"Yeah. That light blue is a good color on you Kirino-chan!" Ayase leapt to embrace her best friend sending the both of them into a fit of giggles.
"Heeeeeey! Kousaka-kun!"
"Hm? Oh, Kanna-kaichou. Can I help you?"
Kanna Kataka is the current student council president of my high school. She's athletic, beautiful, popular, and talented in many things. She was the founder of the Home Economics club and is now an honorary member due to the fact that membership within the student council prohibits full membership with any other club to prevent favoritism. She's also a member of the all-county tennis and track teams, she's most famous for her high jump that broke the current national Japanese high school record. It's amazing that somebody like that is our school president.
Funnily enough she is a former delinquent and keeps her hair a rippling golden-orange color that suits her character well.
"Ha ha! You're quite ballsy Kousaka-kun~ Setting up a school event like this while going behind the student council's back until the last second. In return for this I'm going to work you ex-tra-haaa~rd when we get back! XD"
"Ano... please don't use emoticons when you speak Kanna-kaichou..."
And you're causing misunderstandings that I'd like to prevent!
"Ahhhn~ But it's fun Kousa-ka-kuuun~"
"...And don't say my name like that. I won't be able to think my name as clean if what you're thinking of is true."
"Gah! Stop reading minds Kousaka-kun!"
"That was a joke Kanna-san. But please stop with the weird thoughts, I know you well enough to know that you were having them."
"...Baka-aniki is..."
"...getting along too well with that hag..." Ayase finished with a light glare.
I'm gonna have to treat them to parfaits when we get back home. My poor, poor wallet. You've served me well, my faithful servant! I will bring life back into you again one day!
"You seem to be a lot closer to your brother than you let on Kirino."
Oh goodness. Run Kanako-san. Run.
I ignored Kirino chasing Kanako up and down the camp as I turned to the former delinquent.
"What is it anyways?"
"Oh ho! Getting all cheeky now that you're a second year, Kyousuke-kun?"
"Huh? Did you just address me by my first name?"
"AHHH! IT'S NOTHING! IT'S NOTHING KOUSAKA-KUN!" she coughed into her fist and flushed slightly. "Anyways, we're having a bonding contest made out of groups of high-school and middle schoolers for something we're calling a hot-pot race."
"Oh! So we're having hot-pot for dinner?! That sounds good..."
"Yup! And the the best group will get sukiyaki tomorrow!"
Wow... Kanna-kaichou is all fired up... and pulling out all the stops...
"So although I'm technically refereeing the results and so I can't partake in the actual race, I can have my name down in a team. Naturally, I put mine in yours so you better win Kousaka-kun! :3"
"Seriously, enough with the emotes! And aren't you supposed to be impartial?"
"But sukiyakiiiiiii~"
"...You really always have food on the brain kaichou... How does the race work exactly?"
She grinned.
"You find out at the start of the race. Even I'm not that underhanded."
So you admit to being underhanded.
"Don't judge me with those eyes of yours!"
"You don't make it at all hard not to."
"Blunt as always. You're surprisingly not cool Kousaka-kun. Here's the names of your group members." She sighed as she handed me a piece of paper.
"Miura? He'll hit on the girls and be arrested for pedophilia. He's like 20, 21 you know. Ayase-kohai? She's obedient enough at least. Kirino?" I looked up, "Why's my imouto in my group? Normally school administrators like to seperate family members."
"I thought you might like being with your cute little imouto. I remembered seeing that fashion article with you and her in it! It was adorable! Hey introduce me to your cute imouto, neh? Oooh I could just eat her!"
"...You should start actually going out with girls instead of just hitting on them..."
"Is that a yes?!"
"No."
"Meanie."
"Next is you and then Manami. Ok, cool. Man, I feel like I havn't talked to Manami in forever, I feel kinda bad. Ok, I have to make sure to talk to her more."
"Ooh~ aiming for the 'Harem End' there Kousaka-kun?"
"...one of them is my sister. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to perform a citizen's arrest, kaichou. My most sincere apologies."
"Hey, hey. Don't get all kuudere on me~"
I walked away, grumbling. I don't know what a kuudere is, but I'm sure she got something wrong there.
Before I knew it the groups had been all informed and the race would proceed soon. The number of groups were 30 in all and given a small namecard with a group number on it, ours being the number 8. Although we were all told to wear clothes that we didn't mind getting dirty, most girls in middle school wore very cute outfits, regardless of this warning. Something about boyfriend hunting.
What is happening to the Japan that I love?
"Ayase-kohai, isn't that shirt a bit too thin and loose for going through a forest? It'll get caught on branches and dirtied with mud. It looks silky, so you really don't want it to get wet either. What if you fall?"
"He he~ You really are an older brother onii-chan."
"I'm serious. You look cute in that too, it'd be a shame if you ruined it."
Ayase chuckled, "The only problem is that most of the clothes I packed are like this."
"Geez, you're surprisingly hopeless kohai."
"Moe. You're mean onii-chan."
"Why don't you grab a spare t-shirt from my bag? It'll be better than ruining your clothing and I brought enough spare clothing in case I got all dirtied up."
Ayase shot off like a rocket.
"Huh. Maybe you should convince her to join track Kirin-"
Glaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare.
"W-what's wrong Kirino?"
"You're shirt is fine if thats why you're glaring."
Jiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.
"...Ah, oh no. You can't get your shirt dirty - why don't you grab one from my bag?" I spoke up flatly and with false sincerity.
"Hmph! You should sound more convincing."
Don't say that as you go to my tent, stupid sister of mine.
A pair of hands grabbed my shoulders from behind. No. Two pairs.
"DAMMIT KYOUSUKE-TEME/TAICHOU! TEACH ME!"
I grabbed both their heads together and ground their temples into each other.
"Man you two are annoying. Akagi go to your group. We're being told how to play in five minutes. Shoo!"
"Come on! If Sena-chan had her dere moments like your sister has then I could die happy!"
"What dere moments? Get out of here and go to your group or I won't let you have any of my groups hotpot. It's probably a foraging race through the forest anyways and I know how bad you are at that."
Kouhei lurched back like an arrow had pierced him through the chest as he miserably crawled away.
"Ano, Kyou-chan."
"Huh? Oh hey, Manami! Where were you? You disappeared after I helped you set up your tent."
"Ah, I got pulled away by the student council to help set the perimeter for the race because my grandfather used to live around here and I came to visit him all the time. I remember these forests like the back of my hand."
"So this is the forest of grannies then, eh?"
"Kyou-chan! No need to be mean!"
"I'm teasing Manami, you know that. But seriously, do you think it'll be fine for so many kids to be going out into a forest to forage? Most of these guys won't even be able to bring back anything remotely edible."
"Apparently they brought enough packaged ramen for the whole school for the people that can't find enough to make a good hot pot or have poisonous ingredients. But with the two of us we should be able to get the best hot pot!"
"So I was right in it being a foraging race? Thanks for confirming my suspicions Manami."
"Ah! You didn't know? I'm guessing kaichou didn't tell you because you'd have deduced it from the beginning."
"She said hot pot race. What else could it have been? In an area like this?"
"Ah... that's true I guess. Hmm? Kyou-chan, is that girl and your sister wearing your shirts?"
"Hm? Oh, yeah they didn't really dress for the occasion so I lent them clothes. Wait a tic... Hey Ayase-kohai! Why are you wearing my basketball shorts?!"
Ayase blushed lightly and tapped herself on the head lightly in a cutesy anime-like way.
"Oh, you found me out?"
"It's obvious you wouldn't own anything like that. But those the pants that I brought to use as pajamas. What am I going to do now?" I sighed. "Whatever, it doesn't matter. Come on, Kanna-kaichou looks like she's gonna start the race."
"Sorry, onii-chan."
"What're you looking so sad for? I'm a guy, I could just sleep in boxers you know."
"Gross. Hentai. Freak."
"You're so kind Kirino. So kind."
"Come on Kyou-chan, don't be like that. Come on or we'll be disqualified. Miura-san, you need to get up."
"Leave him, it'll be less of a headache." I sighed as I pulled Manami by the hand.
There was an ominous feeling in the air all of a sudden and even when I let go of Manami's hand the feeling was subdued, yet it lingered.
"Yahoo! This is the Hot Pot Race! We've sectioned off a huge part of the forest and you're allowed to go around and pick herbs, plants, roots, and fungi to make the ultimate start of school hotpot! Pick anything poisonous or disease inducing and you'll be disqualified, but no fear, even if you can't have a hot pot, you can still have a decent ramen dinner!"
There were some grumbles about dieting.
"However, you want to win because the winning group will have sukiyaki for tomorrow's dinner while everybody else has the crappy cafeteria food that we serve here!"
There was a loud cry of energy from the crowd as people got pumped up.
"Su-sukiyaki~"
"M-Manami, you're drooling. And so are you Kirino! Ano, you too Ayase-kohai?"
"KYOU-CHAN/ANIKI/ONII-CHAN!"
"Y-yes?"
"WE HAVE TO WIN!"
And so the race began.
We grabbed a plastic bag with the warning to not lose it in the wild and we ran deep into the forest, grabbing a few choice herbs and mushrooms on the way. Between Manami and me it was easy enough to get a lot of good hot pot choices. We even chanced upon some really tasty looking shiitake mushrooms and a type of berries that Manami knew from her childhood that was actually really good for a soup thickener/flavoring.
Naturally, our only significant opponents were the horticulture and agricultural club members, but they lacked both knowledge of the area and field experience.
Naturally we won.
"Sukiyaki!" the girls yelled in glee as they jumped up in the air. Kanna-kaichou included.
"That's not fair! They had Kousaka Kyousuke in their group!"
"Make the teams balanced next time kaichou!"
"You said superman-Kousaka wasn't participating in the initial planning!"
"Bwah ha ha! Bow before the superior intellect that is Kanna Kataka! Oh ho ho ho ho!"
"Kaichou."
"Ah ha ha... Fuku-kaichou Suki-chan... C-can I help you?"
"It's been agreed that you'll be pulled out of Kousaka-san's group. Please come with me."
"ITAI! Hey that's my ear! It's supposed to stay attached to my heeeeeeead!"
Jeez, that quiet vice-president of hers is as fearsome as ever.
Well, at least I had gotten the good fortune of a yummy hot pot dinner.
"Ne, ne. Onii-chan. What was the comment about you being a superman earlier?"
"Ah ha ha. It's really not that important kohai. Have some more soup."
"Mmmm so yummy! But really."
"I didn't hear anything about this before. Mom and Dad don't really talk too much about you're school life."
"That's cuz they're usually busy talking about you, you know. To be honest I don't really care too much. I just want to live a normal life... or as normal as I can get with dealing with certain people I know."
Ayase and Kirino both scratched their head with embarrassment as they let their friend Kanako mooch off our food. She eats a lot for such a small girl.
"Kyou-chan don't tease them."
"Yeah, taichou, there's no need for that. You should be glad to have the affections of such cute imouto-chans~"
"Urasai, lolicon."
All the girls shifted away from Miura slightly.
"S-so cruel..."
"Kyou-chan is listed in the the reserve of every physical activity club and team at school. He's actually pretty popular! He took the basketball and the soccer team to regionals, although they only got 2nd and 4th respectively. He's also technically a member of the literature club, agricultural society, helped set up the sewing club and is a honorary member, and the game research society club."
"Don't make me sound exceptional all of a sudden Manami."
"But it's true Kyou-chan!"
"Grrrr," Kirino dug into her soup with a sudden gusto, "You sure know a lot Neighbor-girl."
"He he! I haven't heard you call me that since we were little Kirino-chan."
"Don't talk to me like you're close to me, Neighbor-girl."
"Don't be so mean Kirino."
"How come you didn't tell me about any of this onii-chan?"
"I... didn't think it mattered?"
"Wow, you actually are a lot like your brother Kirino-chan."
"You need to get your eyes checked Kanako-chan. Kyou-baka and I are nothing alike."
Ayase leaned over to hug her best friend.
"My you get so shy sometimes Kirino-chan."
Watch out imouto, you're letting the you I know show in front of your friend you know.
"Oh and Miura. Take a bowl to kaichou. Knowing the fuku-kaichou she probably wasn't given anything to eat as punishment."
"Sure thing Kyousuke-taichou. Have fun with your harem."
"Baka!" I threw the ladle at him, nailing him straight in the forehead, "Keep your game fantasies out of my normal highschool life!"
"Onii-chan..."
"...no matter how you look at it Kyou-chan..."
"...you're not at all normal, baka-aniki."
"I'm sorry I went temporarily deaf. So, changing the subject. Did you all check your nametags for your partner for tonight's Test of Courage game? You'll have to find your partner if you want to attend."
All the girls looked at their tag and all but one sighed in defeat.
"Huh? Hey, Kirino-chan! You're onii-chan's my partner!"
Huh? I was supposed to be paired with Akagi so we could get away for our mission!
"Kanako-chan? You're paired with him?!" Ayase and Kirino yelled in surprise.
They turned to glare at me.
Oh no.
I... am so dead...
End!
IT'S ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!
So I'm back guys, sorry for leaving everybody hanging for like, 2 years or something. I burn in and out of things easily so thats that. I'm back for now though so enjoy the chappies as they roll in!
With much apologies and affection for reviews,
KSLCross