Now, back to the happy stuff. We learn something about Tom and Skinner when they're drunk!



Skinner: -hiccups-

Tom: -leans over and whispers to Skinner-

Skinner: -grins-

Skinner and Tom: -jump onto the table, knocking over various empty bottles and glasses-
Tom Sawyer and Rodney Skinner
We're a notorious couple of cats
As knockabout clowns, quick-change comedians
Tight-rope walkers and acrobats

-Skinner balances himself on the edge of the table, walking the length of it-

-Tom does a backflip-

Clez: -is all starry eyed-

Sethoz: -has dissolved into fangirl giggles-

Raven: -looks on the verge of hyper ventilation-

Skinner:
We have an extensive reputation

Tom:
We make our home in Victoria Grove

Skinner and Tom:
That is merely our center of operation
For we are incurably given to rove

Skinner: -does a flip and lands on the ground, one hand on the floor, crouching like a cat-
We are very well known in Cornwall gardens

Tom: -does the same, and lands next to Skinner-
In Launcheston place

Skinner:
And in Kensington square

Tom: -straightens up while Skinner moves away-

Skinner: -moves away, to the window-

Tom and Skinner:
We have a really a little more reputation
Than a couple of cats can very well bear

Skinner: -poses by the window-
If the rear window is found ajar

Tom: -grins-
And the basement looks like a field of war
If a tile or two comes loose on the roof

Skinner: -grins also-
Which presently fails to be waterproof!

Tom and Skinner: -regroup near the table-
If the drawers are pulled out from the bedroom chests
And you can't find one of your winter vests

Skinner: -pulls from his pocket a pearl necklace-
If after supper one of the girls
Suddenly misses her Woolworth pearls

Tom and Skinner:
Then the family will say:
"It's that horrible cat —
It was Tom Sawyer or Rodney Skinner!"
And most of the time they leave it at that.
Tom Sawyer and Rodney Skinner have a very unusual gift of the gab

Tom: -picks the lock to a door-
We are highly efficient as cat burglars

Skinner: -makes a smashing movement-
As well as remarkable smart at smash-and-grab
We make our home in Victoria Grove

Tom:
We have no regular occupation

Tom and Skinner:
We are plausible fellows, and like to
Engage a friendly policeman
In conversation
When the family assemble for Sunday dinner
With their minds made up that they won't get thinner

Tom:
On Argentine joint

Skinner:
Potatoes and greens

Tom and Skinner:
The cook would appear from behind the scenes

Tom:-puts his hand over his heart-
And say in a voice that is broken with sorrow:

Skinner:
"I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow

Tom and Skinner:
For the joint has gone from the oven —
like that!"
Then the family will say:
"It's that horrible cat —
Was it Tom Sawyer or Rodney Skinner?"
and most of the time they leave it at that.
Tom Sawyer and Rodney Skinner
Have a wonderful way of working together

Skinner:
And some of the time you would say it was luck

Tom: -points at window-
And some of the time you would say it was the weather
-a bolt of lighting can be seen, and a crash of thunder is heard-

Tom and Skinner:
We go through the house like a hurricane

Skinner: -holds up glass of sherry-
And no sober person could take his oath

Tom and Skinner:
Was it Tom Sawyer — or Rodney Skinner?
Could you have sworn that it mightn't be both?

Tom:
And when you hear a dining room smash!

Skinner:
Or up from the pantry there comes a loud crash!

Tom:
Or down from the library comes a long ping!

Skinner: -holds up a Chinese vase-
From a vase which was commonly said to be Ming

Tom and Skinner:
Then the family would say
"Now which was which cat
It was Tom Sawyer and Rodney Skinner."
And there's nothing at all to be done about that!

Song: Mungojerrie and Rumpelteaser
Broadway: Cats