Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or its characters.

Warnings: Slash (RL/SB), Rape, Cutting, etc.

a/n: just like 3 chapters to go XD unless I find something cool to add :S

Just Believe Me

Remus had thought that his heart was too broken to feel anything anymore but apparently he had been horribly wrong. He was now feeling what he could only assume was millions of needles digging into his chest. I was excruciating to just sit there and stare as Sirius flirted with the blonde sixth year. The girl was very pretty, with perfect blonde hair, bright green eyes and a flawless skin. She was everything he wasn't. His body wasn't anything special, a little skinny and too bony. His skin was littered with scars and there was a lot to be desired about the rest of him. She was tall, well endowed and unblemished. He couldn't compare to her, she was what Sirius deserved, Remus had only been what Sirius had been kind enough to play with.

Remus wasn't going to ever get Sirius back, not if the boy had a girl like that. He knew Sirius didn't care at all for him now, but seeing him moving on was just too much, Remus would not survive it. The worst part was knowing that while someone kissed and laughed with the pureblood, he had to wake up from terrifying nightmares and to cry alone.

Of course James would be there if Remus needed him, but it wasn't enough. James didn't hug him like Sirius used to, he wouldn't hold him through the night to make sure he wasn't having nightmares like Sirius had done for him before and James most certainly would kiss him and make him forget about everything like Sirius could always do. Besides, he didn't want to bother James anymore, he had his own life and problems to deal with and he shouldn't be burdened with Remus' too.

He wanted to be happy for Sirius, he really did but it was too hard, there was no way he could be able to smile while he watched the blonde perched on Sirius' lap, giggling and caressing the grey eyed boy's cheek. Sirius' perfect smiles and hugs used to belong to him and now he had to get used to watching them being delivered to someone else.

"Hey Remus." Remus jumped when he heard Lily's voice, he hadn't heard anyone to approach him. Though his surprise was to be expected with how hard he was concentrating on not letting his tears fall.

"Hi Lily, I hadn't seen you there." He smiled at the redhead, but by the way her own smile fell he was sure he hadn't managed the task very well.

"Are you okay? You look like you're about to cry." Lily sat on an armchair next to him. He had been sitting far away from the crowd, hidden near a corner so there were plenty empty seats.

"I'm fine Lily, but thanks." Remus glanced back towards Sirius only to find him kissing the blonde girl passionately. He winced at the sight, he could still remember the feeling of kissing Sirius. His ex-boyfriend had always been so gentle and careful towards him and now he was giving that care to someone else, it made Remus' eyes fill with tears again.

"Ugh, Black always making a big show of everything he does! He can't just go somewhere else to kiss his girlfriend."

"Do you know her? Is she nice?"

"She's kind of superficial and she thinks she's better than anyone else, hopefully Sirius will help her be a little nicer to others. He may not be my favorite person but at least he's not stuck up." Lily shrugged, clearly not very interested in the subject. "Anyway, Remus I wanted to ask you about that weird thing the other day…did you have a fight with Black or something?"

"No, it's just…I have to go Lily, I need- I need to find James." Remus stood and ran out of the room, tears already falling from his eyes. Sirius had pulled away from the girl and was now brushing some bangs out of her face as she giggled with fake coyness. He couldn't keep watching Sirius being in love without himself being part of it.

"Remus wait!" Lily didn't know if she should follow him or give him some space. She finally just sat down sighing, she really wanted to help, she hated seeing Remus so sad, but without the whole story it seemed like she couldn't do much. Hopefully James would be able to fix everything.

Remus ran out of the common room, without really knowing where he was going. He knew James wasn't in their dorm so he would go to the only place James went whenever he didn't feel like being around a crowd.

He ran outside and towards the quiddich pitch, trying to calm his tears and knowing that James would be worried for him if he saw him like that. Remus wanted someone who could understand what he was going through. He couldn't talk about all of this with Lily, she would look at him differently, it would be uncomfortable and she would pity him. He didn't want that and it would be impossible for him to say everything anyways, he wouldn't be able to narrate everything, he would break down at the middle and cry until the tears finally ran out.

The werewolf could stop his loud sobbing but the tears kept falling. He looked up and he could see James' silhouette on the sky, but he really didn't want to stop James' fun. He had ruined a lot for James already, he had woke him up a lot of times, he had cried in many of the animagus' shirts and he had made the boy end his friendship with his best friend.

Remus walked towards one of the tall bleachers and leaned against the wall. He would stay there until James finished training.

"Remus? Remus wake up…" There was someone shaking him and trying to get his attention. He woke up confused and cold. He looked up to find James smiling gently at him. "How did you get out here Rem?"

"I don't know…I just-" Remus suddenly remembered everything and he could feel his eyes filling with tears. He didn't want to explain everything though so he just looked up at James with a shaky smile. "I was just feeling a little lonely…" James smiled back with some worry and held out his hand to help pull Remus to his feet.

"Lily was very worried for you today." James put an arm around Remus as they made their way back to the castle. "She thinks something might be wrong. Don't you want to tell her what's wrong?"

"No, she just…she wouldn't understand and…I don't know I just don't want anyone else to know."

"You shouldn't be ashamed of anything Remus, you're a victim, you didn't ask for any of this to happen to you." James rubbed his arm, trying to be comforting while talking about Remus worst memory.

The words didn't make him feel any better though, not when he knew he had agreed to be Malfoy's dirty pleasure just the day before. What could be said of him now? It's not your fault you're a disgusting whore? It killed Remus to know that was true.

"Thanks James…" Remus leaned against his friend as they walked back to the Gryffindor Tower. He wanted to just wake up and find out all of this had been a nightmare, he wanted it all to just an illusion and for him to be fine again. He wanted Sirius to love him again. Everything just kept getting worse and worse and he didn't know how to stop it.

They walked into the room to find it almost empty, Remus realized he must've been out on the field for a long time. As they made their way inside James stopped walking suddenly. Remus looked up at him to find him staring at something to their right. He followed his line of sight until he found Sirius still with that girl, now they were sitting on the loveseat near the fireplace. The pureblood looked at them and glared before leaning forward and pressing his lips to the girl's passionately.

James gave a growl and started hurrying towards the steps to the dorms, pulling Remus with him.

"I can't believe him, he saw us and he still kissed her! I can't believe he would actually try to hurt you." James was pacing the dorm, making wild hand gestures and looking like he wanted to kill Sirius. Their other dorm mates weren't around and Remus assumed they had gotten caught up in a chess game and were staying down at the common room for a while.

"It's okay James, we've already broken up…" Remus' voice was soft and tired. It was true, he had no reason to be mad, but he still felt like crying.

"Why aren't you more worked up over this?" James walked towards him, looking confused.

"They were together earlier too, before I went outside." Remus looked away from James seeing his expression shift as he came to realize why Remus had really gone looking for him. "I guess I came to terms with it." It wasn't really true, Remus still felt extreme anguish over it, but the tears weren't coming. His heart refused to cry about it right now. He had cried earlier and he would cry later, he didn't want James to be any more worried about him, he wasn't worth it.

"Why didn't you tell me?" James seemed guilty, he had noticed something was wrong, he should have cared more about and asked what was bothering Remus.

"I didn't want to bother you…" Remus started playing with a loose thread on his bedspread, he didn't want to look at James in the eyes.

"It's not a bother Remus, I want to help you, you're my friend and I love you like my brother you know that." James sat next to Remus on his bed, putting a hand on the smaller boy's shoulder. "And just for the record, that girl will never help Sirius to move on from you, she's an ugly toad next to you."

Remus laughed at James' words, his friend sometime was a little too blunt. "Thank you James, that means a lot." Remus gave James a little hug and a smile afterwards

"Well, I'm just being honest so…" The animagus shrugged and then stood up. "Anyway, I should go shower." Remus nodded and James picked his pajamas before going to the bathroom.

Remus jumped slightly when he heard knocking on the window. He looked up to see a white owl standing outside. It was big and beautiful but it's eyes were sharp and it looked like a predator. He stood up and opened the window, knowing it was carrying a letter. The owl landed on his bed and extended its leg, Remus immediately reaching for the letter attached to it.

The owl flew out of the window again as Remus opened the letter. He dropped the letter as soon as he saw who it was from. The signature was on the bottom and Remus' eyes had jumped to it as soon as he could see the message. It was Malfoy's.

Remus shakily picked it up again, only to find what he had been dreading, a short direction of where to wait for the blonde and a lewd promise that they would have 'fun'.

Remus sat on the bed and let the silent tears fall. He didn't want to go. He wished he could just hide in his bed but he didn't want anything bad happening to Sirius. He didn't even want to imagine the damage that Malfoy would cause just to teach Remus a lesson. He had to go, he had to do it for Sirius, do everything Malfoy wanted if only to save his ex boyfriend from pain. He took a deep breath and pressed the still healing scars on his arm, trying to forget about his stress and just go meet Malfoy. The pain helped him get to his feet and make his way to the door, it wasn't enough to numb him, but it did shut up his brain a little.

He knew he was being the most disgusting person to be actually going to meet Malfoy but he would do it if it meant Sirius was fine, he would do anything for him. After all Sirius may not love him anymore, but Remus still loved Sirius more than he loved himself.

A/N: Hey guys, sorry for the delay but I haven't been updating any stories lately, so it wasn't just this one. I've been having some life problems and I just couldn't find the time, but I know that you could care less about them so I'm really sorry, I hope you aren't too mad :(

Anyway, sorry for short chapter but I didn't want to mix up too much things in this chapter so…it had to be a short one :/

Thanks for the fantastic reviews you gave me for the last chapter (you make me smile so much and I just love you, my readers ^^) and I hope you liked this chapter :P

-XxFallingxAngelxX

p.s.: if there's any 'young justice' fans reading this, please check out my other stories, I've got tons of YJ stuff :)