The Stupidest Things Team Gai Have done Chapter 10: Neji Gets Fixed, a naruto fanfic

Yes, it's time for another chapter! WAHOO!

Disclaimer: THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS, AND IT GOES ON AND ON MY FRIENDS! SOME PEOPLE STARTED SINGING IT, NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS, AND NOW THEY KEEP ON SINGING IT FOREVER JUST BECAUSE IT IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS, IT GOES –brick gets thrown at head- THUNK –falls over unconscious-

#10- Neji gets fixed

it had been a long and hard day of training, and all 3 were ready to go home. Too bad Neji couldn't until he had a little "talk" with his sensei. They never turned out good…

Neji sat on a log, while Gai paced in front him, his hands behind his back. Finally, he stopped and turned to Neji.

"Do you know why I want to talk to you?" He asked.

"Because… you want to give me the rest of the month off to destroy the main house" He asked hopefully.

"No."

"…"

"You see, there comes a point in every man's life when he must be…fixed."

"What does that mean?"

"Basically, it means you have to have your testicles ripped of."

Neji flinched. "Why?"

"Eh, I don't know."

"Then why do we?"

"Because…"

"Because why?"

"Er…"

"Er why?"

"Listen…"

"Listen why?"

"SHUT UP!"
"SHUT UP WHY?"
"BECAUSE I TOLD YOU TO!"
"YOU TOLD ME TO WHY?"

SMAK.

"Right then, you can either be fixed by someone you know, or some random hospital lady."

Neji thought for second, rubbing his sore face. "Who would it be if it was someone I knew?"

-At the Hospital-

Tenten smiled down at Neji, He sat on one of those weird table things, wearing a hospital gown and one of those cool bracelets that has your name on it and all that other stuff.

Tenten was wearing a nurse's uniform.

Yep, you guessed it.

Well, you really didn't guess it because I told you so much in the last preview…

ANYWHO!

Tenten was going to be the one to fix Neji. God have mercy on his poor soul…

"So, ya ready?" Tenten asked.

Neji didn't answer.

"Neji?"

No answer.

"NEJI!" Tenten yelled in his ear.

"WHAT!" Neji screamed back.

"Are YOU READY!"
"MAYBE!"

-Downstairs in the Waiting Room-

Gai, Lee, Tsunde, and some random guy with no relevance to the plot looked up.

"Wow, I hope she doesn't kill him." Tsunde said, upon hearing more yells.

-Back with Neji and Tenten-

Both regained their cool composure.

"Okay, let's do this." Tenten said, using her battle voice.

Neji paled.

"Don't worry, this will only take a second." Tenten said sweetly.

Neji gulped. "And how exactly are you going to …fix me?"

She smiled and took a step towards him, then

"Oh shi-"

RIIIIIIIPPPP!

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHIWANTMYSOFTPILLOWNAMEDPOOPOOAHHHHH!"

(Ah, I want my soft pillow named poopoo ah)

-Later, in Neji's hospital room-

Neji sniffled.

"Don't worry, if you're lucky they'll grow back." Gai said.

"Did yours?"

Gai burst in to tears. "NO! WHY DO YOU THINK I DON'T HAVE CHILDREN?" He then ran out of the hospital room, crying.

Neji just blinked.

Lee looked at Neji, then ran out the room, crying like his larger twin.

Neji blinked, again.

He was all alone.

Then, Tenten came in and sat in the chair right by his bed.

"Hi, how ya you feeling?" She asked him.

He simply gave her the Patented Hyuuga Death glare.

"Oh, come on. It was me or some random lady you don't even know.

Neji turned away, then pouted. "I needed those."

"What for?"

Neji turned back to Tenten, then said

CENSORED FOR CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF 17
"Wow." Tenten said. Neji had just given her sex-ed in less than 2 minutes. GO NEJI!

He smirked.

Tenten said, standing up, "I don't feel comfortable being alone in the same room with you."

"Why? I can't do anything to you now."

"Yes, you can. Read this."

She then handed him a copy of Icha Icha Tactics.

-5 minutes later-

Neji stared at the book intently, having a major nosebleed.

Tenten had left right after she had given him the book.

Then, something hit Neji hard on the head, harder then the time he threw a brick straight up, "WHY DOES TENTEN HAVE THIS BOOK!" Inner Neji screamed.

-At Tenten's house-

Tenten was just about to get into bed, when she heard a knock on the door.

She answered it.

It was Neji.

"Why do you have this book?" He asked, holding up Icha Icha Tactics.

"Oh. It was on Gai-sensei's assigned reading list."

"It was?" Neji had thrown the list out, after reading the first title, "Why Youth is So Mother FKing Important"

"Ya."

They both stood their quietly.

"Neji?"

"Ya?"

"Go back to the hospital before I use you as a weapons target."

"…"

"Okay."

-The next week at training-

Lee sat on a log, while Gai paced in front him, his hands behind his back. Finally, he stopped and turned to Lee.

"Do you know why I want to talk to you?" He asked.

Yep, that's it.

Maybe it's a good thing Neji can't have children now. If he did, it would go something like this…

It was a peaceful day at the main house. Everyone was sitting around, laughing, talking, when suddenly, the wall blew up!

Everyone turned as red and black filled the room! Tons of mini Nejis and Tentens ran in through the big hole in the wall! Then, they started to beat the shit out of all the main house members!

In the distance, by the hole in the wall, Neji stood, laughing evilly! He screamed, "Yes, kill them all my evil little minions!"

Then, he stopped and looked at his watch.

"Oh, shit. It's 6. WE'VE GOT TO GO HOME FOR DINNER!"

All the little chibis looked up from their bloody carnage, then ran towards the hole in the wall.

"MOVE IT! MOVE IT! MOVE IT!" Neji yelled, waving the little kids out, as they jumped out the hole, opening parachutes.

After all the little chibis jumped out, he turned back to the bleeding main house.

"I'll be back. And not right before dinner, when we have to leave just when it's getting good."

He then followed his min- er, children out the gigantic hole.

-Later-

"Shhh. The coast is clear, get in." Neji said to his army of 5-year olds. They all immediately jumped in through the window.

"Now, then, don't mention this to you mother, all right." Neji said, when a menacing voice came from behind him, saying, "Don't tell me what?"

Cheap horror music played as Neji turned around slowly, to face none other than –gasp- Tenten.

"Well?" She said, tapping her foot.

"Er…"

"Daddy took us to kill the main house again!" Yelled a mini Neji.

"He did…" Tenten said, glaring at her husband, who was shaking and whimpering.

"Kids, go wait in the kitchen." Tenten said, not taking her eyes off Neji.

They all obeyed.

Outside the kitchen door, screams could be heard. Really loud screams. The kids all shook, scared for their father's safety.

Then, all was silent. Tenten came in, and calmly closed the door behind her.

"Dad won't be joining us for dinner tonight."

Silence.

"Mom, did you beat the shit out off Daddy again?"

Well, that's what it would be like.

YES, NEJI WOULD USE HIS OWN CHILDREN TO KILL THE MAIN HOUSE!

REVIEW! It'll make me happy…

By the way, I have no idea where this chapter came from. All the others had some meaning, like the first one. I was eating a pickle while watching a GEICO commercial, or the 3rd, when I listened to that song for 3 straight hours.

Next up- Tenten; Boy or Girl?

-Preview-

"What are you 2 doing?" Neji asked.
Lee and Gai, jumped, falling out of the tree.

"we're trying to find out whether it's a boy or a girl.

"Who?"

Neji looked in the window. "Tenten?"

----

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Pleeaase."

"No."

"…I'll give you sugar to use your Byukugan to look…"

Neji though for a second. It was very tempting…