I'm so sorry that I've been slacking with the updates! I know that it's been a long time, but I'm afraid life has been getting in the way of writing and with college coming up and me starting my new jobs it's only going to get busier, but I'm going to try much harder to keep up with this story. I realize that with season two already airing that I'm pretty behind with the original plotline, but I can assure you that I'm going to catch up eventually. Additionally, it looks like Brenda did a switcheroo in the personalities between Amy and Ricky this season because I absolutely abhor the way Amy is acting, so her attitude is one thing I'm definitely going to tweak further down the line.
Oh, one more thing: I recently created a forum for this story for future discussions about where it's heading and I would love to hear from you guys, so please feel free to check it out!
Happy reading!
I own nothing of The Secret Life of the American Teenager except the plot and any unfamiliarity's that are woven into it. Additionally, any outside information gathered and used in this story is credited to its various creators. Everything else belongs solely to Brenda Hampton.
"One Step Forward"
--Chapter Ten: Amends--
By marissa-christina
Amy bit her lip as she stared at her phone, tapping her finger against the 'Send' button but never quite managing to apply enough pressure to carry out the action.
She had been sitting on her bed for nearly a half hour trying to muster up the nerve to call Ben to thank him for saving her butt, however, even with her mother's encouragement, the ability to hit that 'Send' button was eluding her. She just couldn't do it.
Ben had been so good to her despite everything that was going on in her life, and she had just ended whatever relationship they could've had together. She let out a humorless laugh as she flopped back onto her pillows. She had totally blown it. Bottom line, she would never, never in a million years ever find another guy willing to do all the things that Ben had been willing to do for her.
"I'm such an idiot," she muttered, tossing her phone aside. It hit her purse as it skidded across her comforter before falling to the floor. She groaned in frustration and rolled over the edge of her bed, reaching down to pick it up. As she inspected it to make sure the screen hadn't cracked, there was a sudden droning sound, and Amy froze as she turned the phone over.
'Calling: Ben,' the screen read, the image of Ben's smiling face flashing with the call tone. By the time she managed to snap out of her shock-induced stupor, Ben's muffled voice had already picked up the call.
"Amy?"
Swallowing hard, Amy held the phone up to her ear. "Hey, Ben," she whispered.
"I called earlier, but your mom said you weren't back yet. Are you okay?" The absolute concern in his voice made her want to cry and Amy had to take in a shaky breath.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I feel like a complete moron, but I'm fine," she said, curling her legs under her body as she made herself comfortable.
He was quiet for a moment. "I wasn't sure what happened when I didn't see you or…Ricky…" he stumbled a bit over Ricky's name, but recovered quickly enough. "…at lunch today, but I overheard some of the girls in your Health class talking about you leaving during the notes," he finished tentatively.
She ran her fingers through her hair. "Yeah, the new unit kind of threw me for a loop." She thought back on the stares she had received during that class and shuddered in annoyance and shame.
Ben sighed sympathetically. "Ms. Hoff really doesn't use much tact does she?" he said, and she could hear the sheepish smile in his voice. Her lips curled upwards on their own accord.
"I guess not, since most of the class figured a live subject was better than any of the diagrams she had on the projector," she muttered dryly. He chuckled and she relaxed the vice grip she had on her phone.
"Very true, but something tells me you didn't call me to discuss Health class, huh?" Ben guessed, lightly forcing Amy into saying what she needed to say.
Clutching one of her pillows to her chest, Amy sighed. "I just…I just wanted to thank you for what you did today. You didn't have to," she murmured. Ben made a sort of 'hmm' sounding noise.
"You're right: I didn't have to," he agreed easily enough. She cringed, preparing herself for his biting reply. However, he surprised her once again. "I wanted to, though."
Shaking her head even though he couldn't see it, Amy huffed loudly. "Why, though?" she questioned, sounding frustrated in his inability to be mad at her. "After everything I did to you, why would you want to cover for me? Why would you want to cover for Ricky?"
He didn't answer her and for a moment Amy thought he had come to his senses and hung up the phone. "Let's just get one thing straight. I really, really, really dislike Ricky Underwood. I could really care less about what happens to him. You, on the other hand, I care about a lot and despite how things went down between us, I didn't want to see you get into trouble. It was a pretty easy decision, all things considered."
Did his compassion show no bounds? Amy, whose hormones were already causing her to feel weepy all hours of the day anyway, began to sniffle. "I still don't understand," she said, trying to keep her voice from trembling. "I messed up so bad, Ben. I didn't think you wanted anything to do with me after the way I ended things."
Ben let out a breathy laugh, one that made her feel like she was acting silly. "I won't deny it, I was hurt by the break-up," he replied, the gentleness in his voice cutting her deeper than his anger ever could. "But it forced me to finally open my eyes to what I didn't want to see before. You're an awesome girl, Amy, but I realize now that we aren't ready for such a huge commitment, and that although I love you, I never really fell in love with you. I fell in love with the idea of falling in love, I guess." He stopped and let out a rueful chuckle. "It sounds pretty sappy, huh?"
A solitary tear slipped down Amy's cheek. She didn't bother to wipe it away. "Not really," she answered softly. "I felt the exact same way. I really thought I was doing the right thing by you. I never wanted to see you get hurt."
"I think, maybe, that's why it worked out so well," he responded. "I think I needed to get hurt in order to fully understand everything. Looking back, we—I—moved way too fast. To tell you the truth I'm kind of embarrassed."
"Why?" she asked, honestly curious. What did he possibly have to be embarrassed about?
"Proposing so quickly," Ben said. "I mean, I asked you to marry me on our first real date! I feel so weird about it now." Amy furrowed her eyebrows. The action must have been predictable for her because Ben was quick to say. "Not that I regret doing it, because really I don't! I meant I just feel weird about how it must have seemed to you."
"I'll admit, I was surprised. More so because you didn't even know that I was pregnant yet," she allowed, remembering the utter bewilderment she felt when he had dropped to one knee in the middle of her stuffing her face with chicken wings, followed by the agony of needing to tell him of her condition before he realized just what a colossal mistake he was making. "For a minute there I was debating on whether to run or throw myself at you. Even after I told you I was pregnant you still wanted to marry me. I couldn't believe it." She swallowed hard. "You know, there was a second where I had this feeling of absolute relief…like this was the one good thing I could look forward to during this whole situation." Amy cut herself off and bowed her head. "Sounds really selfish, doesn't it?"
"No, it doesn't," Ben replied instantly. "If you had told me something like that when you were breaking up with me, I probably would've gotten pretty mad, but I understand better now." He sighed and struggled to find the words he needed to explain. "I'm happy with what we had, Amy, even though it was just a fantasy. You're the closest I've come to loving someone since my mom died, and I'm grateful for that, but I want to apologize."
She stared at the phone in astonishment. "What in the world are you apologizing for?" she squeaked incredulously.
"I want to apologize for pushing you into a relationship so quickly," he said honestly. "I think that I took advantage of your condition and how vulnerable you were and I'm so sorry for that, Amy."
Amy took a deep breath and rubbed her nose. "I'm sorry, too, Ben. If I had said something earlier we could've spared ourselves all this pain."
He made that 'hmm' sound again. "Maybe, but I'm glad it came to this, because I hope that clearing the air might give us the chance to be friends," he suggested hopefully. Amy smiled. "Unless you don't want to," he hastily added as an afterthought. "I'll totally understand."
"No, no, friends is good. I like friends," she said, her smiling widening. "Somehow I think that's the way it was always supposed to be."
"Yeah, I hear you."
They lapsed into a comfortable silence.
"How exactly did you manage to come up with such a brilliant lie anyway?" she asked suddenly. "You don't sound anything like my dad."
Ben laughed. "I'm not sure. After I got some information as to where you were, I just concocted it. It wasn't fun adding Ricky to the mix, but I figured you two really needed to talk things over if you willingly left with him." She could tell he felt a little put-out; she could hear the resignation in his tone. Amy sighed heavily.
"Yeah, remind me not to make that mistake ever again."
His interest peeked. "What happened?" He no longer sounded like the whiny boyfriend she had come to know. Now she recognized the concern in his voice for what it really was: the concern for a purely platonic friend's well-being. Honest and open. Her friend Ben was worried for her.
She smiled at the thought and then proceeded to explain her day for him as the final pieces of their doomed relationship cracked and broke away and the foundation for their new friendship slowly formed and solidified.
When Amy came back downstairs about her nearly hour long conversation with Ben, Anne was just finishing up the dinner dishes. Immediately noticing the extra spring in her daughter's step and the added sparkle in her eyes, she quickly dried her hands. "I take it you worked everything out with Ben?" she guessed. Amy grinned.
"Yeah, I did, and for the first time in a long time, Mom, I think things are going to be okay," she admitted happily. Anne couldn't help but smile with her.
"That's really good, because I have something to tell you."
Amy's eyes narrowed questionably. "What?"
"Well, I spoke to Mr. Molina about Rosewood and he set us up an appointment…"
It took the Juergens clan a good forty-five minutes to get to their destination and by the time George drove into the tiny parking lot Anne was beyond frustrated with her estranged husband.
"Honestly, George. We drove past this place about four times! How in the world could you have missed that sign?" she gripped, smacking him on the arm with a rolled up newspaper as he pulled into a free space. George scowled.
"You're one to talk; you were looking out the window, too! Your eyesight must be going already, Grandma!" he snapped back. Anne let out an outraged huff and smacked him again.
The sign in question read 'ROSEWOOD PUBLIC SCHOOL' in a bold, almost Victorian-looking script complete with a dark magenta and gold paintjob and a pretty little floral insignia wrapping around and underneath the words. There was something else written there, but Amy was unable to see what it was.
The first few thoughts that popped into her mind as she gazed out the car window was that along with the sign, the medium-sized, single story building looked fairly new and well-kept. Having expected the Rosewood to resemble a poor, broken-down school house due to an assumed low funding and just low standards due to the students' "conditions", Amy found herself pleasantly surprised by the welcoming appearance the place provided her. The tightness in her belly receded a little.
Anne turned in her seat to face Amy. "This place looks great," she commented, echoing her daughter's thoughts. George grunted as he turned off the ignition.
"Sure, as great as a school for pregnant teenagers can be," he muttered. He cringed as Amy shot him a dirty look as they got out of the car. "No offense, baby."
Ashley tapped her chin thoughtfully as they made their way to the front entrance of the building. "It's actually pretty decent," she remarked smoothly. "I was expecting a place in the boonies." Anne raised her eyebrows.
"Nice to see you've taken an interest, honey," she retorted with a smile. Ashley rolled her eyes as she opened the door. Amy chuckled quietly as they entered through the foyer. Anne glanced down at the piece of paper Mr. Molina had scribbled the directions onto. "We need to find the main office…" she said. George snorted.
"Well, did he bother writing down directions to the main office?" he cut in, earning himself a glare.
"You know what, George? If you're just going to be an obnoxious jerk then maybe you should just let me handle this!" Anne snapped, smacking his arm with the rolled up pamphlet.
George barked out a laugh. "Please. And miss this? Not a chance."
She rolled her eyes. "You're acting like something's going to happen. We're just enrolling Amy into classes. Not a huge deal."
"Ha! We're enrolling Amy into classes at a school for pregnant girls, because she's pregnant, and therefore should be where the other pregnant girls are. Oh, and she's fifteen. I'd say something should definitely happen with that whole scenario."
"Don't be an idiot. This was Amy's idea and I support her decision. It's the responsible thing, George." She stopped and threw him a scathing look. "Not that you'd know the meaning of the word, anyway."
George snorted again. "Yeah, yeah, I do, too, but, c'mon! What is she really going to learn here? Breast-feeding 101? The Wonders of Birth-Control 242? The Uses of Cocoa Butter 335?"
Ashley bit her lip to hide her growing smile as Amy rolled her eyes and made an un-amused face as she shuffled a few feet away.
Anne clenched her fists. "That's not funny."
"Okay, okay. It's not funny." Pause. "Seriously, though. It kind of is."
"You're impossible!"
"No, I'm just speaking the truth, Anniekins. Now, where's the main office? You find that yet on your little map?"
Anne opened her mouth to tell him just where he could shove that 'little map', but Ashley quickly interjected. "This is just a suggestion, but how about you look for a door with a sign that says 'Main Office' on it?"
The two looked at her. Ashley shrugged and motioned to Amy, who promptly opened the door to her right, aptly labeled 'Main Office' and walked inside. Following her sister, Ashley rolled her eyes at her parents. "You guys should've saved that for the parking lot," she said. "I'm just saying."
Anne stuck her nose in the air and quickly hurried after her daughters, ignoring George's sarcastic grunt as he shut the door behind them.
The office wasn't what one would call spacious, but it was large enough for two secretary-sized computer consoles, one of which was empty. Anne walked over to the only other desk. "Excuse me," she said to the secretary, whose name plate read 'Emily Decker'. "We have an appointment with Principal…" she trailed off and took a quick second to glance down at the crumpled bit of paper in her hand. "Tanner."
Emily, a decrepit-looking woman with a weathered face but surprisingly kind milky blue-colored eyes lowered her head and peeked out from above a pair of thick glasses to assess Anne. Offering her a smile, she held up one bony finger. "One moment, please," she said as she picked up her phone. Punching in a few numbers, she held it to her ear. "Hi," she greeted. "Your ten-thirty is here." She paused and smiled with wrinkled lips at what the person on the other line was saying. "Yes, I realize the time. There's really no need to force me into it, I'll go just as soon as these people get settled." Emily placed the phone back into its cradle and pointed towards the back of the office. "Go right on through that door." Anne slowly turned her head to follow in the direction of Emily's finger, but instead of a door, all she saw was a large bookcase.
"Um, door?" she asked, quirking an eyebrow. Emily smiled a little ruefully.
"Oh, I'm sorry, dear. It's right behind that bookcase. I keep telling Chelsea that we need to move it somewhere else."
"Thank you," Anne replied. The four of them walked over and stopped in front of the door as George reached out and knocked. A faint, "Come in!" sounded a moment later and George pushed the door open.
The single woman behind a rather large desk pushed back her chair and stood up, smiling brightly before rounding the desk to approach them. "Hello! You must be Amy Juergens," she said, shaking Amy's hand. She tilted her head at the three people standing behind Amy and her smile widened. "And the rest of the family, I'll assume."
Anne smiled back and shook the hand the woman offered her. "Yes. I'm Anne Juergens and this is my hus—this is Amy's father, George," she explained, her cheeks reddening the slightest as she waved her fingers towards him. Smirking at her discomfort, George nodded his acknowledgement. "And this is our daughter, Ashley." Ashley raised her hand in a salute.
The woman smiled again. "Welcome to Rosewood Public School. I'm Principal Chelsea Tanner."
Amy liked this woman already, finding herself almost immediately put at ease. She was younger than Amy thought she would be, possibly in her mid-thirties, and her sparkling hazel eyes were friendly.
Principal Tanner quickly gave Amy a quick once-over, and Amy was relieved to see no premature judgment clouding her face as she rested her gaze on the slight bump protruding from under Amy's flowing top. "I'm pleased that you've decided to give Rosewood a chance, Amy," she said. "I've been working here as principal for nearly six years and I've found out, more often than not, that young girls who have discovered that they're expecting a child drop out of school. It's a very positive ideal knowing that you're working to continue your education by coming here."
Amy bit her lip. "Thank you," she responded quietly. Principal Tanner smiled at her.
"I don't want to hole us up in here," she said, this time to the rest of the family. "So I'll be brief. I have received Amy's transcripts from Marc Molina and we can make up a schedule for her at the end of today's visit. However, first I think a campus tour is in order?" she offered, motioning for the Juergens to follow her. Anne adjusted the shoulder strap of her purse.
"That would be great. Mr. Molina spoke highly of this place."
Principal Tanner nodded as they headed back into the main office area. Emily was no longer behind her desk. "Yes, he called me explaining the situation in terms of Amy's schooling." They walked out to a hallway with six doors on either side. Principal Tanner pointed to each one as they passed. "Every classroom in the building is multi-use, so different subjects can be taught in the same room by the same teacher. The way it works here is that the school is equipped with the same grade system as any other school would use: freshmen through senior. Each grade has five classrooms to be used for varying subjects, like math or English."
"Are there any sort of electives?" Anne asked. "Amy is in band at Grant."
Principal Tanner shook her head. "Unfortunately, Rosewood doesn't offer those types of electives. Due to the present nature of our school, the only electives we have are those pertaining to child care and general health during pregnancy. We have an amazing health education department here," she responded, sending an apologetic look towards Amy, who simply shrugged
"I can always talk to Mr. Sedlack to see if I can still take lessons after school or something," she said. "I don't want to get behind."
Principal Tanner led them further down the hallway before stopping in front of one of the doors. "This room is our daycare facility," she explained, motioning through the door window. "Our students have the option of leaving their babies with volunteer nannies during their class day if they're unable to leave them at home. The moms are usually down here during their free periods or during the health classes we offer." She spoke quietly and as Amy peeked her head through the glass, she understood why.
There were six young women seated in various chairs inside the room, each of them holding a bundle of blankets as they slowly rocked back and forth. A few of them were conversing quietly while adjusting their arms, not noticing their audience. Amy saw that there were two older women in there as well, one of whom was sitting beside a younger girl while fluttering her hands in an animated way as she spoke.
Furrowing her eyebrows as her mother began asking Principal Tanner a few questions, Amy took a moment to gaze about the room. It was incredibly bright: sky blue walls with splashes of red, green, and yellow designs that looked as thought a giant toddler had dragged large crayons across them and big bay windows overlooking the park across the street. Amy was struck by how busy the room looked with the countless number of toys piled every which way, but also by how calm the atmosphere seemed despite the obvious sounds of fussing babies. She glanced over to look at Tanner. "There aren't that many babies in there," she remarked.
Tanner nodded. "More often than not, the girls are able to leave their child at home with another relative while they go to class, but some opt to drop them off here. We have a 'call first' policy regarding the daycare: if one of the students wants to bring her baby with her, she has to call to let the staff know by a certain time that she's dropping the child off. That way we're able to get enough volunteers to watch them before classes start," she clarified. She pointed to the two older women. "It's worked pretty well since we started enforcing it. Like today, only those six girls called in. Evelyn and Jeannine were asked early this morning to come in to help."
"Now, what about if the kid needs to breastfeed?" George blurted out. Ashley snorted in silent laughter as her mother and sister hissed out in mortified unison.
"George!" "Dad!"
Principal Tanner chuckled as Anne and Amy flushed in embarrassment. "The mothers are sometimes pulled from class if that's the case and they didn't leave any bottles for the nannies. However, we usually have them fill out paperwork regarding their baby's needs, like whether or not they breastfeed or if they have medical needs that have to be met at certain times during the day."
George nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets as he considered her words. "That makes sense, I guess. How long do the kids get to use the daycare?"
"Well, the daycare is included in the tuition, so usually as long as the mother attends here. Most of the girls leave right after the birth to return to their previous school or transfer somewhere else, but some choose to stay here until the year is out."
"Speaking of the birth," Anne started, fishing out a piece of paper from her purse. "Amy's not due until the end of April, but during the days she's out, what will she do about the work she'll miss?" Amy noticed the clinic's logo on the paper her mother held and wrinkled her nose.
"We'll actually let her do most of the work early so she'll be ahead by the time her due date arrives. It really depends on what she's done before she came here, so when we make up her schedule I'll go over the classes she's taken at Grant thus far so we can make a tentative outline," Principal Tanner said.
"That sounds great," said Anne. She looked at Amy. "What do you think, honey?"
Amy chewed thoughtfully on her lip, considering everything as she turned to stare back into the colorful room. After a few long minutes, she extended her arm to Principal Tanner. "I think I'd like to make my schedule."
The woman smiled, her hazel eyes warm and welcoming as she clasped Amy's hand into her own and gave it a good shake. "Excellent. Welcome to Rosewood, Amy."