A/N: I am sorry that this chapter took so long! There was a lot going on, that's all... I wanted to upload a new chapter before my final exams on college started, but I couldn't. Now, though, I'm on vacation, so here I am.
Law & Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The rest is mine.

Olivia walked into the squad room and greeted Munch and Fin as always, but stopped on her tracks when she spotted a Latino-looking man on his mid-thirties sitting on the desk that once belonged to Brian Cassidy. At that moment, Cragen opened his office's door.

- Olivia, a word, please?

- So who's the new guy? – She asked once her captain had closed the door behind her.

- That's detective Nicholas Amaro, transferred from Narcotics. When this unit comes back to working at its normal, he'll be your new partner.

Olivia suddenly felt unable to fill her lungs with air.

- I don't... Want... Elliot has just...

- I know, Liv – Cragen said softly, his heart going out for his detective's grief. – It wasn't up to me. I'm really sorry. I had no choice.

Olivia nodded, showing she understood.

- I want the day off – she said. – God knows I have plenty of them.

- All yours. Go.

With that answer, Olivia practically ran out of the station.

- Wow. What was that all about? Do you think she's okay? – Nick asked after Olivia had left.

- Detective Benson took the day off. She's been having a rough time these past weeks, detective Amaro. As you've probably heard, we've lost a detective not even a month ago and he was detective Benson's partner. I hope you can at least try to understand what she's going through even if you don't know how it feels.

- Yes, of course, captain. I'm sorry. If I had known, I would have waited...

- Not your fault – Cragen interrupted him kindly.

- I don't know what to do, El.

Olivia was sitting in front of Elliot's grave. She had bought him a bouquet of yellow roses. Not only they were his favorite, but he had read somewhere that yellow roses meant eternal love, so he would buy Olivia at least a single one of these every chance he got. Even when he gave her different flowers or an actual gift, a yellow rose would always come along.

- I don't want a new partner. I can't stand the thought of having somebody else sitting at your desk. I don't want to have to clean it up. I can't handle it.

Elliot's tombstone was made of white granite. It had his name on it, as well as the days of his birth and death and a picture of him in black and white.

- I just... I wish I never had to live without you. Like, ever.

Olivia didn't even know if she believed Elliot could actually hear her – though while he was alive he seemed pretty convinced about it –, but it felt good to let it all out and cry without fear. She could always be herself with Elliot, even if it meant talking to a rock.

- No matter how many people I meet, no matter how many friends I have, it will always be you. It has been you for the last twelve years. And that hurts. That fucking hurts, because you're not here. You were supposed to be by my side, but you'll never be. We were planning to have children, I was finally going to be a mommy, but now I will never be one.

The weather was cool, neither too warm nor too cold, but the sun was hidden behind white clouds that seemed to be made of cotton candy, painting the sky a very light gray.

- So yes, I'm alone now. Again. I'm alone, just like I've been my whole life until that fateful day twelve years ago when this dream started, when my dream started. Because that's what you were, El. You were my dream. The best of all. Bad thing about dreams is, one moment or another we have to wake up.

A/N: A short one just for me to get warmed up again, it's been a long time since I last wrote a chapter for this story. Please read and review!