Chapter 10: Gratitude, Promises and Confessions
From the moment he had flung open the door, his eyes had been mostly on her. The initial response to seeing her had been relief, relief that at least he had been on time to save her. Despite this his gut was being twisted by the uneasy feeling that came over him by seeing her strapped into a chair like that, completely helpless, some blood dripping out of the side of her mouth, and the slight hint of despair in his eyes.
It reminded him of what his sister had looked like when he had finally found her. His heart still breaking at the thought of it. He felt a surge of anger every time he thought back to it, he felt even more anger now that he looked at her like this. The situation was clearly dire, and he had an uneasy feeling about what he might be forced to do. He had always fought that possibility, but now, now he realised to save her, to save them both, he might not have a choice. Still Casey had once told him, everybody had a choice, he was determined to try and have them all walk out of there, hell he was even willing to forget about everything that had happened if it meant saving her.
"Step away from her Shaw." He said through gritted teeth. Even though he felt little hope that the experienced agent would do just that.
"Or what? You are going to kill me?" The other man replied amused.
He knew Shaw had seen his hesitance in killing anyone, after all the senior agent had seen it twice. Even in the current situation he felt an uneasiness about having to do such a thing, he still didn't belief it was necessary. He wasn't even sure if he would be able to, not to mention that if he did, even his last bit of hope to start with her would probably be shattered.
He allowed himself to focus his eyes, on her blue ones once more. Once again he was taken a back by the emotions that were visible in them, and he knew he really had no choice. If the situation wasn't resolved in a different way, he would have to shoot, he just hoped he would be able to.
"If I must." He said with a slightly shaky voice.
"This isn't you Shaw. You don't have to do this, we can just walk away." He continued, taking a step closer.
"Actually I can't Chuck. Walking away isn't going to take away the pain from her killing my wife."
"And killing her will?" He replied with disbelief.
"No but it will be justice." Shaw stated with determination. "Now either you leave, or I'll shoot you both."
"I'm not leaving Shaw." He stated firmly, as he once again focused his eyes on her.
"Well then, you leave me no choice." The seasoned agent stated.
In a flash he saw the other man starting to raise his gun, before time seemed to grind down to a halt. In that moment, all that filled his mind were their faces. The faces of his sister, and the love of his life, the faces of all his loved ones he wouldn't be able to protect from them anymore. Ultimately all that remained in his mind, were the desperate looking eyes of the woman in the room with him.
Desperation came over him, desperation to save her, desperation to get them both out of there alive. Spurred on by the emotions, and instinctive feelings of wanting them to survive, he raised his gun, surprising himself by the speed he raised the weapon with. In a continuous motion he moved his hand to the trigger, and squeezed it three times, his hands shaking as he did so, while the sound of gunfire echoed through the room.
He let his gun slip out of his hand in shock and disgust of what had just happened, causing it to clatter on the ground, before the man that he had just shot through the chest even had hit the ground, while he himself felt like a sledgehammer hit him in the shoulder. Yet despite that, he felt numb, hardly able to register what had just happened, while he just stared at the body of an agent, that had once been sent to help them.
"Oh my God, Chuck!" He heard a vaguely familiar voice call out, but it seemed to be coming from miles away.
Diverting his view to his hands in disgust, he saw them trembling, and to him it seemed like they were crimson with blood.
"Chuck!" He heard the voice shout again, but still he couldn't move his view away from his hands.
"Chuck! Oh God Chuck, you've been shot." He heard the voice say in despair, but this time he felt a soft hand on his shoulder, causing him to finally look up.
He looked into the face he had seen so many times before, a face that had always brought him peace and joy, and he had always enjoyed seeing, but all he saw this time was worry. He followed her gaze, that was seemingly aimed at something else, and then he finally saw for the first time the giant red stain that was starting to form on his shirt, yet he still felt numb.
Softly she forced him to sit down, her hand guiding him slowly to the ground, while she followed suit, and crouched down in front of him.
"It's going to be ok Chuck, you're going to be ok." She said with her voice thick with emotion.
He briefly looked into her eyes, and saw a few tears glistening. Normally his first instinct would have been to comfort her, but now he just stared at the wall opposite from him, feeling to disgusted to comfort her. Feeling doubtful about why she had tears in her eyes, fearing she might just grief over having to see him kill someone.
She started lifting his shirt, causing a small shiver to run past his spine, as the cold air brushed over his body.
"Just have to check the wound." She stated softly, her soft blue eyes connecting with his brown orbs for just a brief moment before he looked away, nodding slowly as he did.
Quietly she continued lifting his shirt, till she reached the wound itself. Blood was running out of it. Gently she pulled him forward, allowing her to look at the exit wound, satisfied by what she saw she pulled of her black t-shirt revealing a skimpy tank top, that would have normally made him blush a little, and started tearing of a few pieces of clothing. Without hesitation she wrapped them around the wound tightly, causing him to wince a little.
"Come on Chuck, let's get you out of here." She stated with a soft voice, as she pulled him up to his feet.
He could finally feel the wound burning, as he had a hard time moving his arm around. Without even thinking about it, he began following her, staying only half a step behind her. Deep down he knew he should be on his toes, but somehow he didn't seem to care. He barely registered them exiting the warehouse, and reaching the fence. With some painful tears in his eyes he managed to crawl his way underneath them.
Before he had even reached the backpacks, she had already opened one of them up, and started transporting it's contents to the other one. As she was busy, he just stood there, staring blankly in the distance, while she occasionally glanced at him with a worried look.
Still in silence, she swung the backpack on her back, before she took his good hand in hers and started pulling him towards where the car was supposed to be. But when they reached it, they were greeted by the same emptiness they had encountered on their way there.
"Damn it Chuck, where's your dad?" She said with a slightly raised voice, he could easily make out the panic in it.
She started looking around frantically, muttering several expletives under her breath.
He wanted to respond to her, vaguely remembering something about telling his father to leave if they wouldn't be out in a few minutes, but somehow he couldn't find his voice. It still seemed like he was miles away, only her touch and voice seemed to bring him a little closer to the world again.
In the distance, they could see the lights of a car approaching, causing Sarah to grab his hand roughly. "Come on Chuck, we got to get out of here." She practically screamed at him, as she started dragging him into a field.
Without thinking he followed her, he followed her for what to him seemed like hours, only stopping when they finally reached a small barn, that was part of a seemingly abandoned farm.
"Come on, let's go inside." She stated with a soothing voice, while she started opening the barn doors.
Just like he had done since he had shot Shaw, since he had killed someone for the first time, he followed her without thinking, without question. It was the first ever time he had done that, just do what he was told, but he didn't have the energy, or the desire to question anything. He really just wanted to wake up from the nightmare he was in.
While she was busy trying to set up some primitive alarm system, with some strings, he set himself on the floor, his back resting against the grimy wooden walls. He once again fixed his eyes on his hands, they were still trembling slightly, and still seemed crimson. Tediously he moved one of his hands, to his shoulder, and could feel the wet fabric that clung to his skin. Looking down at the wound, he could see the bloodstain on his shirt had only gotten bigger, and he felt himself grow nauseous.
Without him noticing, she had settled down in front of him again, but this time with a first aid kit in her hand. "I'm going to have to take care of that." She stated with a sad and worried look on her face.
He didn't care, and even if he did, he didn't have the energy to fight her, the events of the day and blood loss starting to catch up with him. He nodded slowly, while she pulled up his shirt. He let his head fall back, as she set to work.
X-X-X-X-X
Despite the fact that it was the middle of the day, she fell back on the bed in one of the small motel rooms that they had occupied, in the aftermath of everything that had gone down with Borelli. Even though she had been trained to stay awake during all circumstances, the far too warm room, and the events of the day made her a little drowsy, and in truth she didn't feel like being on her toes the rest of the day. Realistically they wouldn't get caught, normally The Ring, and their allies would think they were fried as crisps just like their own men.
Still she noticed a tensity coming from Casey, ever since they had arrived in the room about an hour earlier, he had been trying to get a hold of Walker, but he hadn't been successful yet. If it had been just Walker, she hadn't cared herself, but because this also involved her own partner, she felt a tinge of worry herself, her only comfort being that she knows he can take care of himself.
She heard someone walk into the room, so she looked up and saw Casey. A part of her had hoped it would be Morgan who had just gone out to get them all something to eat, him being the least known of the three agents, it seemed like the best strategy. Still she hoped that the senior agent had some good news, but his face only seemed more intense than it had done before.
"What's wrong John?" She asked with concern in her voice.
He looked at her, with a slightly bewildered look. "Just got a hold of Walker." He stated in a low voice.
She had no idea why that made him so worried, "That's good though isn't it?" She asked, sitting up a little more.
He let his eyes lock with hers for a second, briefly conveying his concern and pain to her. "Chuck got shot." He stated, causing her to gasp. He seemingly ignored her before continuing. "Apparently we were right, Shaw went rogue."
She shook her head in disgust, as she kept her eyes locked on the hardened NSA agent, "What about Chuck?"
"He's alive." He started with a strained voice. "Walker said he's not doing too well."
She let out a shaky breath, as silence once again fell over the room. There were conflicting emotions running through her, as she couldn't help some relief about not having called Shaw, while she still felt disgusted about his betrayal. Even with what Borelli had told them, she had hoped there had been some loyalty left in the man, that perhaps The Ring were trying to set him up, but they were just sold out, it wasn't the first time that had happened to her. His betrayal let her to question the whole CIA, trust was a rare commodity for her, and right now, she wasn't sure if she could give that to her employer.
There was more relief about Chuck having survived being shot, however she couldn't shake off the worry that came with what Walker had told Casey. What if it didn't end well for him? Even though she had been forced to suspect him for treason, she had never really believed it, and she just couldn't imagine anyone in their line of work that deserved it less than him to meet such a fate.
As she kept thinking about everything, she kept coming to the same conclusion. "We need to go to the states, and meet up with them." She said with a determined voice.
She only got a grunt in response.
"What are we going to do about The Ring and the CIA though?"
"Let's just link up with Walker, and worry about that later." He stated gruffly, while he took out his gun to start cleaning it. She figured he was doing it to keep his mind occupied.
She allowed herself to fall back onto the bed, her head feeling comfortable against the pillow. There were so many questions running through her mind, about what they were going to do about the situation, and if they even had a choice in the matter. It was already established that Chuck and Walker had no road back, Beckman seemed out to get them, but what about them? Was there even a chance that the rest of the team could go on to work for them relatively safe? Did she even want to?
She wanted to scream in frustration, and throw something through the room. How could an assignment that had looked so promising end so badly? She wondered to herself, as she heard someone open the door again.
She looked up and saw Morgan, food in hand, food she was craving for and now really didn't care about anymore. He seemingly caught onto the mood pretty fast, when his face dropped, and with a sad voice asked, "Who died?"
X-X-X-X-X
Fatigue, stress, and concern had prevented her from closing her eyes longer than a second. Chuck had passed out only a few minutes into her treating his wounds, she just hoped that it was from exhaustion, and stress, rather then from blood loss, but because of the paleness of his skin she feared the worst.
It hadn't taken her long to clean out and stitch him up, but she was extremely glad that they had been wise enough to bring a small first aid kit with them. She didn't even want to think about what would have happened if they didn't. There was a good chance that he might have bled out then. The prospect of having to live without him, was not one she appreciated.
From the moment he had fired the weapon she had felt her heart break, she had been fighting back the tears from the moment that she had seen the look on his face, his eyes seemed darker and more distant, it seemed like something had been taken away from them. It was like her worst fears had come through. Still she was not going to abandon him, she was going to help him through everything.
She could feel and hear him sleeping restless, and she started running her hand through his hear soothingly, and she could feel a small layer of sweat that was covering his forehead. It was one of the things she dreaded about his health, and she could only hope that it was from whatever he was dreaming about.
For a moment she rested her eyes on his face, and could see the tenseness of the situation clearly visible in it, despite his sleeping state. Every second, every small line or twitch caused her to want to cry, but she couldn't, she had to be strong and fight for the both of them.
Her eyes slowly moved down to his wound, and his shirt. There was no spare t-shirt, so he was still wearing the blood stained one, and it quite frankly made her stomach turn to see his blood soaked into the garment in such quantities. As an agent she was used to a fair share of blood, and of course she had lost quite a few pints of it herself, but seeing it coming from him, it was just the worst experience she'd ever had.
A small part of her was mad at him for coming back for her, it was against everything she had ever told him, it was against everything she had wished for him. He should never have killed anyone, and she felt a small tinge of guilt for putting him in that situation. She should have been on her toes a little more, she just wished she could have protected him from it. But the emotion that dominated was gratitude, gratitude for the sacrifice he made for her. Gratitude and love for all that he was willing to do for her. She would show him how much it meant to her.
He seemed to have settled down just a little, as she continued to run her hand through his curly hair, the curls she always loved seeing. Her dreams had always included running her hand through them, though it had always been under different circumstances.
The agent in her wanted her to think about the near future, wanted her to think about what to do about the CIA and the possible Ring agents that were looking for them, but the worry she felt dominated her thoughts. Still she was glad that she had talked to Casey, the older agent having called her. He had been surprisingly supportive, though she had not been in a real mood to talk, she could sense his own worry through the phone. Every showcase of their old team's co-operation of the why they worked so well, made her regret her mistakes and bad choices even more. If only she'd been able to prevent this.
Suddenly she felt him shoot up, with a scream almost loud enough to pierce her eardrums. Instantly she focused her eyes on his, forcing him to look into them.
"Shhhh it's ok Chuck, you're ok, it was just a dream." She said soothingly, as she ran her hand through his hair.
After looking at her with wide alarmed eyes, he allowed himself to fall back on the hard floor, letting out a small whimper. "Shaw, he wanted to kill you and Ellie… and I… I couldn't reach you." He managed to choke out, a few tears running down his face.
"Hey listen to me." She started, with a soft but commanding voice. "It was just a dream, Ellie and I are all right. You saved us both Chuck." She finished with a few tears pricking in her eyes. Normally she would have scolded herself for the emotions, but she figured considering the circumstances she was allowed to show them.
"You saved us both." She repeated. "I'm so proud, and grateful of you." She whispered softly as she let her forehead rest on his.
She could see the conflict in his eyes, the pain and suffering, the worry, the whole mess of the situation, and she wanted nothing more than to reassure him, she wanted nothing more than to comfort him. Slowly she moved her lips to meet his, brushing them softly, needing to make contact with him to show him what she meant. After a few seconds he slowly returned the kiss, both moving their mouths slowly, just needing to find comfort in the other, before she pulled back.
"I… I… I love you Chuck." She managed to choke out, not sure why she felt the need to say it, but in that moment she did, she needed him to know that. "We are going to get through this together." She said a few stray tears now running down her face.
She could see the struggle in his eyes again, there was a glimmer of the man that she knew, the man that she was sure loved her, she could see that love flash through his eyes. Every time she had envisioned that moment, she had thought he would be the one to say it first, or at least reciprocate, but she knew why he didn't, she could see it in his eyes.
"Hey it's okay." She stated with a soft soothing tone, while she ran her hand through his hair again. "I'm going to show you I'm here for the long haul Chuck. I'm going to show you that we're in this together. I promise you this Chuck, I'm going to help you get through this no matter what the cost." She stated with determination and fire in her eyes.
He slowly nodded his head, and even gave her a week smile, his eyes still looking darker than she had ever seen them before. They returned to silence, while she kept repeating what she had been doing for the past 20minutes, continuously trying to sooth him with her hand. And within minutes she seemed to succeed as she could feel his breathing level out again, this time he seemed to be a little more at peace as he slept.
She wasn't sure if she had done the right thing in telling him that, but her heart had told her to do it. She had been fighting her heart, and it's desires for so long, she just couldn't bother anymore, not when it came to him. The knowledge that she had almost lost him, that she almost didn't have a chance to tell him was excruciating. She couldn't help the smile that came over her face, as she settled herself in a little.
Only a few minutes later, she heard some noise coming from outside, causing her to sneak away from Chuck as quietly as she could, while she took out the weapon she had picked up from her now dead former partner.
She moved open the barn door, careful not to make a noise, not wanting to wake him up now he had gotten back to sleep again. Her eyes had no problem adjusting to the early sunlight, but what she saw caused her to feel relief. The man in front of her, had been the man that she had hoped she would see, though she had no idea how he had found them.
"What happened?" He asked with slightly wide eyes, as he looked at her slightly bloody clothing.
She hesitated for a moment, not really sure on how to break the news to the experienced spy, a man who had done anything he could to protect his family. In this moment she felt the guilt again, she felt like she had failed Chuck and his family.
"Where's Charles agent Walker?" Orion asked, this time with a sharper voice.
"He's inside. I don't really know how to say this but he's been shot." She said with a sad voice.
She could see his face fall, while he muttered something under his breath, and she instantly regretted her choice of words.
"It's ok mister Bartowski, it's just a flesh wound." She said quickly.
"Thank God." Orion stated with relief, as he rubbed his eyes.
"There is something else though." She said with some hesitance in her voice. He looked at her questioningly, causing her to continue. "He killed Shaw, he's… he's not taking it too well." She continued as she diverted her eyes to the ground.
"Damn it, that's exactly one of the reasons, why I didn't want him to be a spy" The man across from her exclaimed.
"Neither did I." She said softly, earning her a sceptical look from the senior Bartowski. "I know you don't belief me mister Bartowski, and I don't blame you, I probably wouldn't believe me either. But I'm going to show you that it's true." She stated with the same determination she had shown when she had made her promise to the man she loved.
"We'll see." He replied with some scepticism in his voice. "For now, let's just get Charles somewhere safe." He finished, as he brushed past her, with her quickly following suit.
X-X-X-X-X
Kayla was fiddling around a little with the silver chain around her neck, while sitting in the back seat of a small rented sedan. She felt uncomfortable, not knowing where they were going, but despite her best efforts Casey had been unwilling to share that information with either her or Morgan. The only comforting thought was that she didn't have to ware a blindfold, or anything that drastic.
It had been two days since Casey had talked to Walker, and they had been determined to get back to the states as quickly as possible, especially Morgan had been freaking out. It was an absolute relief when Walker had called them and said that physically Chuck was going to be ok, but apparently emotionally he had taken a blow. In her mind he would have been just another victim of the CIA's games, but she had not wished this on Chuck. Not that she would wish it on anyone else, but he had been different.
She had no idea how he had ever become a spy without killing anyone, let alone how he could have become so successful or lead his own team on such a high profile assignment, even though she had been impressed by his work in the field. There was no denying the young agent's bravery or outstanding choices in the field. She had even asked Casey how he could have passed his red test, but the older man had grunted something inaudible.
A small part of her envied Chuck, who she now knew was called Bartowski rather than Carmichael, because he had been able to convince his superiors that he had actually passed his red test, without really having done so. Her own red test still being one of her dreaded memories. In truth she wasn't proud of it, and after the Shaw fiasco she wondered if perhaps she had killed an innocent person in her red test as well. She didn't even want to think about it, back then she had just done what they had told her, eager to make a name for herself, eager to make a career for herself. A career she once envisioned would have been full of glamour like the movies, but had proven to be quite the opposite.
She felt the tension in the car, and as she looked at the bearded man in the back with her, she could see the worry emanate from his face. Ever since they had filled him in, he had been uncharacteristically quiet, and even when they had gone into the city one last time, he hadn't said much. Granted she hadn't said much either. But it was unsettling, but she had learned of their history, which had explained so much to her, and she understood why. She'd done her best to help the two men in her team with the situation, but they had not been in the mood.
Finally they turned onto a small dirt road. She had no idea where they were, except that it was a several hour drive from the LA area, there was little doubt in her mind that they would be relatively safe there, yet still as she looked around and she saw nothing but trees and grass she felt relief. The last thing they needed was another surprise from the Ring, or the CIA who were probably all too eager to get to them as well.
They only drove down the small dirt road for a few minutes when they reached a mediums sized building. It seemed a lot more luxurious than she had expected from the drive there, with from the outside at least, seemingly enough room to fit them all. Outside on the porch there seemed to be a blonde figure waiting for them, long hair dancing in the wind, her arms crossed over her chest. It was clear that, that had to be Walker. As they came closer, she noticed she seemed more imposing than she had done on the screens in The Cave.
Finally they got out of the car, and started walking towards the porch.
"Walker." Casey greeted curtly.
"How you doing Casey?" She replied, but the strain on her voice was instantly audible. As Kayla came closer she could see it in her face as well. It was far worse than she had even seen on Morgan's face.
"Fine, how's Bartowski?" He asked with a surprisingly worried voice.
"Depends which one. Ellie is fine, Chuck's not doing too good."
Casey nodded understandingly, while Morgan took a step forward. "Don't worry." He started confidently, "I'm sure I can help him get through it."
The blonde agent glared at him, with a look that nearly frightened Kayla, as the seasoned agent took a few steps towards Morgan, her eyes narrowing. "You listen to me Morgan,' She started in a menacing tone. "Chuck is going through hell right now, and the last thing he needs are your idiotic actions, you got that?"
Morgan swallowed hard, adjusting his collar a little as he did so. "Got it." He croaked out, his voice shaking a little.
"Good." Sarah stated, her demeanour changing again. "Now let's get inside, they are probably waiting for us."
"They? Who are they?" Kayla wondered out loud.
"Chuck, his sister, and his dad." The blonde stated casually, as she lead them inside.
"What does his dad have to do with anything?"
She could see Sarah look at Casey, "You didn't tell her?" She asked surprised.
Casey shrugged a little. "Didn't seem to be my place Walker."
Sarah nodded slowly, before turning her head to face Kayla. "Ever heard of Orion?"
She could feel her eyes widen. Orion was a legendary figure, but just like the intersect many people had either thought he was a myth, or considered him to be long gone. Of course she'd hear some of his exploits from time to time, but because he was a ghost, she'd sometimes question the validity, and even just think it was some kind of excuse.
"You're kidding?" She ultimately replied, while she looked at Morgan who had a look of surprise on his face as well.
The blonde woman didn't respond, but gave her a small knowing smile, while she continued to walk. They reached a small dining room, with three people already at the table. She recognized Chuck, though he didn't seem to be anything like the man she had met only weeks prior. He seemed pained and conflicted, and his eyes lacked the spark they used to have. His arm was in a sling, and there was a small grimace on his face accompanying the dark circles around his eyes.
The other two people she concluded were probably his sister, who she immediately noticed, had several bruises on her face, a few small cuts, and also seemed like she had just gone through a lot, while the older man sat at the head of the table with a serene but intense look on his face, carefully observing the new guests.
The grey haired man, which she now assumed was Orion, gave a nod to Walker, who sat herself next to Chuck, while she carefully placed her hand on his, but he hardly seemed to respond. Orion motioned the rest of them to sit down as well.
Morgan walked past her, and sat himself down next to Ellie who was sitting across from her brother, and she sat herself next to him, Casey meanwhile taking a seat across from the oldest Bartowski.
The grey haired spy rose from his seat, "First off, thank you all for coming." He said, giving them a small smile. "I hope you all understand everything we talk about stays in this room."
She nodded her head, while she could hear Casey grunt "Roger that."
"Good, now what I want to talk about with you all is how we are going to deal with everything that has happened so far. In essence how we can prevent ourselves and important things like the intersect of falling into the wrong hands."
"Just one question sir." She started slightly nervous. "What about the CIA?"
He was about to reply, but Sarah beat him to it. "Come on Mitchells, we can't rely on the CIA, for starters, at least three of us are already wanted by them. Not to mention that they have done nothing but try to manipulate us. I don't know, but if you want to work for them, you'd better leave now." She said her gaze upon the brunette agent, making Kayla feel slightly uncomfortable.
She swallowed slowly, "Right." She finally replied.
"Good, now unless there are more questions I'd like to continue." Orion said, looking around the room, when no one spoke up he continued. "We assume The Ring is now completely capable of building a working intersect, using the information agent Shaw provided to them. We are going to use the information you acquired in Rome, and the information we are going to gather, to both steal their intersect, and destroy their organisation."
"Wait, why are we stealing it rather then destroying it? And how do you plan to get information on the Ring?" Kayla asked in a surprised voice.
He gave her a small smile. "We are stealing it, because we need it. Chuck needs to get rid of it, to do that, we need a working intersect. As for the getting information part." He paused for a moment adding dramatic effect. "That's where you come in agent Mitchells."
Her eyes narrowed a second. She was getting an uncomfortable feeling. "What do you mean?" she asked in a low voice.
"We need you to go undercover in their organisation Mitchells." He stated coolly.
She wanted to laugh, and proclaim it a completely ridiculous idea, but she could see the look in his eyes, he was dead serious.
"You can not be serious." She stated as she stood up from her seat.
"Listen agent Mitchells, if you know another way, I'd be glad to oblige, but I don't see one. Normally I would have asked agent Walker here, but there's no way the Ring is going to trust her, and Major Casey over there, has just recently rejected the Ring's advances quite forcefully. You really are our only option." He stated with a sincere voice.
She set herself back down with a sigh. "So you expect me to go in without back up?"
"Not entirely agent Mitchells, we want you to go to General Beckman and convince her, that you are going to do this on the CIA's radar. It should give you all the support you need. Besides it gives us the added bonus of finding out if she can be trusted. Just whatever you do make sure only she knows. Once we've taken down the Ring, we go off grid, and disappear into the sunshine. We just need to clear Charles and Walker with the CIA in order to do that peacefully."
She ran her hand through her hair. "So you are just using me as bait then."
"I understand your concerns Mitchells, but we'll keep someone near you."
She really didn't know what to say anymore, there was so much that could go wrong, but if it worked they would gain so much.
"Fine." She bit out, still not happy about the prospects.
"Good, now I take it Major that you've brought the information we talked about?"
Casey let out an annoyed grunt, but it only seemed to amuse the older man.
"All right then, if no one else has any questions, I think it's best to end all of this, so Charles here can get some rest." He said with a soft voice.
"What about Devon?" She heard an unfamiliar voice croak out.
She could see the conflict in Orion's eyes, it seemed like he wanted to say one thing, but felt like he needed to say something else. Finally he spoke with a sad voice. "I'm sorry Eleanor." He said, barely able to keep his eyes on her.
"But that's not fair dad!" She exclaimed.
"I know it's not, but it's just too dangerous, not just for us, but for Devon as well."
The brunette rose to her feet angrily, though she seemed to wince a little as she did so. "I can't believe this dad. In 20years, and I just ask this one thing of you, one thing and you can't even do it, and all because of them." She said, pointing at the several agents at the table. "Why can't you just come through for me just this once dad?" She asked, the pain in her voice clear for all to hear.
Orion looked at her with pained eyes, and his face fallen. After a few seconds without saying a word, the brunette bolted out of the room, followed only a few seconds later by her father.
The room was still in silence when she saw Chuck leave the room as well. He seemed to have some difficulty moving around, and it pained her to see it. Moments after he left, she could see Walker go after him.
X-X-X-X-X
Sitting outside on the edge of the porch, she wiped away a few tears that had started to run down her face. The last week had been a nightmare for her, and to have her father betray her like he had just done, well it was like she was stabbed in the back.
Her body was still aching all over, and she hadn't been able to shake off the fatigue just yet. It didn't help that every time she looked in the mirror, she was being confronted with the bruises and the cuts in her face. They had been in the middle of 'punishing' her for her escape attempt when they had suddenly left the room. She wasn't even sure what had happened, till only moments later she had seen her brother's face, it had been the most beautiful sight she had ever seen.
She just wished that in the aftermath she could have felt her husband's strong arms around him, that she could find the comfort of sleeping in his arms every night. His support could have helped her, in supporting her little brother, who she realised was a mess right now. She had never seen him in such a state, not even after that bitch Jill had stabbed him in the back. But as selfish as it may be she just didn't feel up to being the self-sacrificing older sister. Not after everything that had happened, not after everything she had learned.
The whole truth behind the intersect had been mindboggling, not to mention that the whole story about her dad leaving. He had still been a little vague about their mother, but he claimed he had an idea to bring her back to them. Now she doubted that, he couldn't even reunite her with her husband, how then could he reunite their family?
She was brought out of her thoughts by her father's voice. "Eleanor?" he spoke softly, while he placed his hand on her shoulder.
Immediately she could feel some anger lash up, so she glared at him.
"I know you're angry with me, and I understand. But you have to understand why we can't. They are watching him, they know who we are now." He told her with a sincerity she had not often seen from her father.
"Come on dad, you, Chuck and Sarah just destroyed an entire Ring facility, and yet you claim you can't get Devon?" She bit out angrily.
He seemed surprised by her outburst, but his demeanour didn't change. "You're brother almost got killed Eleanor, I don't know if we can risk something like that again. Not when his life isn't at stake."
"And what if they grab him as well dad? What if they hold him hostage huh? Are you going to let him rot away then?"
He observed her carefully, before smiling at her. "I see so much of your mother in you. It figures that you'd make an awesome spy." He said mildly amused, while he got up to his feet.
He had just made a few steps towards the door, when she stopped him. "What about Devon?"
"Don't worry, I'll talk to the Major and agent Walker in the morning. For now try to get some sleep."
With that he went inside, leaving her to her thoughts.
X-X-X-X-X
Sarah was walking towards Chuck's bedroom, she felt weary from the last few days. First there had been the stress about his physical well being, his blood loss weakening more than she had hoped, then it became stress about him shutting her out.
The last two days she had constantly been trying to get him to open up to her. Not that she had been constantly been bombarding him questions, but she had periodically tried to get him to talk to her, just like she had constantly been at his side. It broke her heart to see him closed off like he was now. It was her worst fear come true, but she wouldn't stop, she would not back down.
Slowly she opened the door of the dark room, the blinds were closed, and all the lights were out. As soon as the man in the bed heard the door creak open, he threw himself on his good side, clearly not wanting to talk to anyone. But she had had enough of his silence, she really just wanted to have him open up, even if it was just a little.
It surprised her that she was so burdened by his lack of opening up. She had always been the one to keep her cards close to her chest, to stay mute about feelings and emotions, but now she just wanted to be there to help him, to get him through this. Above all she wanted to get out of this stronger, together.
Quietly she walked to his bed, and sat herself down on the edge of it, looking at his form in the darkness, feeling her heart break all over again because of what he was going through, before speaking.
"Are you ok Chuck?" She asked softly, running her hand down his face.
He didn't say anything, instead he slowly pushed her hand away.
"I just.." She started, before taking a moment to take a deep breath. "I just wished you'd talk to me Chuck. I just want you to get through this, I want to help you through this. I just wish you'd allow me to." She said shakily.
Still the dark figure in the bed remained silent, her hand now running up and down his back.
"Ellie needs you Chuck, I'm not sure if she can get through this without you. I need you." She said firmly. "I can't do this without you Chuck. I.." She felt her voice grow shaky again, "I love you Chuck, I just… I just need you here with me."
She could hear and feel his breathing getting more irregular, and heavier, but to her immense frustration he again remained silent. With a heavy sigh of frustration, and fighting back the few tears that were threatening to spill over, she stood up and started walking to the door. She wanted to yell at him, scream at him, shake him till he came to his senses, but she knew it wouldn't work that way. As she almost reached the door she could hear him flip himself over again, before he finally spoke.
"He's everywhere. It's like I see him everywhere." He stated heavily.
Before she knew what was happening she was back at his side, intertwining her fingers with his, motioning him to continue talking with her eyes, despite the darkness.
"Everywhere I look I see his face, I see his chest, and… and the blood… there's so much blood." He took a few breaths before continuing. "Then when I close my eyes, either it's a nightmare or more of the same." He said, with a weary and heavy voice.
She could feel her heart break for him, despite the time that had passed since her own red test, she had never been able to shake the pictures of that night either. He had brought her close to healing, but without him at her side, it was like that healing had never taken place.
"It's going to get better Chuck, I promise." She said with a soft voice. She was determined to make it better.
"How? When?" He saw her questioning look so he continued. "When will it get better? How will it get better?" He questioned her.
"I don't know Chuck." She told him truthfully, with a remorseful voice. She could see his face fall a little in response. "We'll get through this together Chuck, you and me. Just promise me you won't shut me out again, promise me you'll talk to me." She stated, a small tear running down her face, from everything that had happened.
He looked into her eyes, moving the thumb of his good arm to wipe away the small tear before speaking. "I promise." He told her in a low voice.
She kept her eyes on his for a second, contemplating on kissing him or not, but this time she decided against it. So she gave a small nod of her head, "Thank you." She said, as she got up from the bed, moving towards the door, but once again his voice stopped her before she could open it.
"Sarah?"
She turned back to face him. "Yeah?"
"Could you… Could you stay with me tonight?" He asked hesitantly.
Silently she walked towards the bed, a small smile on her face. He moved aside, making room on his good side, giving her some room on the bed. Without saying another word she nuzzled into his chest, and for the first time in days she felt some form of peace.
"By the way." He started hoarsely in a near whisper, causing her to look up at him "I love you too."
She felt her heart flutter at his words, a huge smile taking over her face. Slowly she moved herself up a little, careful not to hurt him. She brought her lips to his, slowly kissing him, before nestling herself back in his chest, feeling herself being calmed by his touch, and the rhythmic beating of his heart.