10 | Reunited

Dear Diary,

I had a nightmare last night that has forced me to question my sanity. It was the worst dream I EVER had, and that's including every one of my visions. I know I'm not supposed to think like this after learning how much Usagi truly means to me. I'm not sure why this is happening. Some part of my mind doesn't seem to be listening to my heart. Or is it some part of my heart doesn't know what my mind knows? I honestly don't know. I hope I can find out soon. Maybe I can do something about it before I screw up and act on that crazy thought. I never believed in therapy, especially since most of my problems had to do with my idiotic father—who nobody believes is as heartless as I know him to be—or with me being Sailor Mars. However, if I keep having nightmares like this, then I may not have any other choice. I would gladly reveal my identity and a whole ton of other shit to a shrink if it means I don't accidentally follow through with what this dream predicts. I hope that never happens, though. If I ever do anything like that the very next thing I would do is kill myself, because my life would not be worth living anymore.

Anyway, my dream. This one was strange compared to the others where, at the very least, I was Sailor Mars and I was acting on that stupid notion that Usagi had tried to kill me. All of my previous dreams were like that, where I used my fire against her and killed her before ripping her brooch from her chest. That was the dream that almost became my horrific reality. But I know my hatred for her was senseless and that she never tried to hurt me, ever. That's one reason why this dream is so strange. The other is that I never was Mars and I didn't use any of my magical attacks. Instead, I felt like I had snapped and turned into some psychotic mass murderer, except Usagi was my only victim. She was the only one I wanted to kill.

Usagi was on the ground and I was standing over her while wearing the most maniacal smile on my face. She was deathly afraid of me. I could see it in her wide eyes. The bright, friendly shine that normally is there was long gone, replaced by a vacant stare. She had tried to run away, but I had her trapped in a corner and there was nowhere she could go. Her fear was so great she didn't even try to scream. I bent down closer to her and extended the knife I held in my hand over her chest. That was when she made one last, futile attempt to stop me by pleading desperately for me to stop while trying to push the blade away with her hands.

Thinking about it now, just hearing her voice makes me cringe. How could I do something so brutal to someone so loving as her? What drove me to continue despite such passionate cries? Am I really that much of a heartless monster? Is this what I really want to do to Usagi? God, I hope not.

Anyway… I completely ignored her weeping and her prayers as I pushed the blade closer and closer to her. I think I actually enjoyed watching her agony as she knew she there was nothing she could do and that she was going to die, by my hands no less. The blade slipped between her ribs and penetrated her heart. The sound I heard after that might have been the worst thing I've ever heard now that I think about it, but at the time it only pushed me to go further. I looked into her eyes as the knife sank deeper into her chest. Despite all the anguish she had to feel she still gave me the most sympathetic look right before the last bit of life escaped from her body. In my nightmare, I laughed at her pitiful expression. This morning I nearly puked all over the toilet at the same sight.

I don't know what this nightmare is trying to tell me. I really don't. The longer I think about it, though, the more scared I am of myself and of what I may do. I love Usagi. I absolutely do. Her life means more to me than anything, including my own life. Losing her friendship and having her hate me is the second worst thing that could ever happen. I finally understand this now. However, this is the worst, by a long shot. Not only would I lose her friendship, I would lose her… forever.

Please, if there is any being out there that can stop me from doing something so terrible, do so. Even if it means my death, that would be much better than this.

Forever yours,

Rei

—|1|2|3|—

An unshakable chill gripped Usagi's petite form and caused the girl to shiver almost uncontrollably. Fear gripped her and froze her body in place, not allowing her to shift her gaze from the ceiling. The only sound she immediately noticed was her own feverish gasping. Those were the occasional yet utterly unpleasant sensations she had experienced ever since her rescue from Beryl's clutches. However, the immense pain and fierce cold felt far worse that early morning than anything she had ever suffered in the past. For a moment she felt suffocated, as though a heavy weight had smashed into her chest and forced all the air from her lungs. That was in addition to the icy milieu that apparently stole into her bedroom and displaced all semblance of warmth, including that within her very soul. The worst part about it was that she had a very good idea of what caused her distress, and it only made her more afraid.

Once she had gathered her breath she hesitantly pushed away the covers and swung her bare feet over the side of the bed. She did not flinch when her toes made contact with the cold floor, for as far as she knew it was the warmest thing in the room. Her eyes soon found the faint red display of her clock. It was a few minutes before five o'clock in the morning, and thankfully it was an early Saturday morning or else she never would have been able to obtain a decent slumber. Actually, there was no guarantee she would have been able to find sleep, but at least she had a reasonable shot at it. She collapsed back into her bed and pulled the covers tightly over her body to take full advantage of that attempt.

A truly restful sleep came easily to the blonde and she reveled in the comfort of absolute nothingness—for about an hour. That was before a brilliant explosion of white light interrupted her peace and strongly piqued her curiosity. Snapping her head up from her pillow left her very disoriented, but no amount of dizziness could stop her from finding the source of that light. Not that it was so difficult a task when it nearly blinded her.

Still, having one question answered left many more unaddressed. Just what in the world was that tiny orb—barely larger than a yen coin—that hovered a few feet away from her? What was its purpose in finding its way to her bedroom? Was the thing that continued to slowly float ever closer to her would hurt her if it touched her? It was that last question that made Usagi leap from her bed and meander toward the door, her eyes fixated on the orb as it pursued her. Her hand felt for the handle and eventually pinpointed it. However, the orb dashed toward her before she could twist it and pull open the door.

The moment it crashed into her chest, dazzling white and pink light erupted across the room. She opened her mouth to scream in terror, but no sound came out. It confused her. How could she feel so calm when she should have felt nothing but fear? But she was not afraid. Not at all. She was serene in the face of what her eyes showed her when the light eventually dimmed.

No longer was Usagi in her bedroom, but in an environment vastly different and yet acutely familiar to the girl. Dusty silver extended outward in a rough and pock-marked expanse to meet inky blackness punctuated by tiny points of crystalline white at the distant horizon. It elicited a contented sigh. While she had seen a similar scene twice before, neither instance remotely compared to her current experience. However, when she pivoted on her heels she realized she had only witnessed the tip of the iceberg.

Spread across a deep valley sat a series of ruins, something akin to what one would find at an archeological dig, but far larger than any site she could recall. Still, there was no mystery to what laid before her. Despite the lack of any sort of edifice or significant features she knew exactly what it was. A pall of sadness fell over her.

So, this is what has become of the Silver Millennium.

The tiny orb that hovered next to her emitted a pale blue light, one that swathed the remnants of the former kingdom. An extraordinary transformation soon ensued. From the destruction appeared the glittering white marble of the main palace and all of the surrounding buildings and courtyards. It was an absolutely magnificent vista, something Usagi never thought she would see beyond the special training room's simulator. Whether this was any more real than the known simulation somewhat bothered her, but at the same time she really did not care. It was the most she had ever seen of the Moon Kingdom, that which would have been her domain—or that of someone like her—if fate had taken a different path. She went to clamber down the side of the crater and dash toward the buildings, but she found her path blocked by an invisible barrier, one created by the sphere that had since turned bright red.

"What?"

"I'm sorry, Serenity, but you cannot go down there quite yet."

The faint voice was feminine, one completely unfamiliar to Usagi. Her face contorted in total disbelief when she turned to glare at the orb.

"Oh, really? And why not?"

"It isn't your time yet, young princess. Please be patient, as you will know very soon when you may return."

"So you'll just torment me instead by showing me all of this?"

"Trust us. That is the last thing we want to do by displaying the full splendor of the Silver Millennium as it stood at its pinnacle to you, the sole monarch from that great kingdom. We prefer that you think of it as a brief history lesson, and maybe something more."

Usagi huffed loudly, forcibly crossing her arms across her chest. Then, absolute nothingness prevailed for a few seconds as the girl remained utterly frozen. Glancing downward, her widened eyes confirmed what her fingers initially guessed. No longer did she wear her pajamas but the smooth white satin of her royal gown. Whatever anger she held swiftly dissipated into confusion and suspicion.

"W-who are you? How do you know who I am?"

"We can't tell you. Not yet, at least." Usagi vaguely recognized this second voice but distortion prevented her from fully placing it. "But rest assured that you will find out in due time, as we have no intentions of keeping our identities a secret from you. As for your second question, all I can say is that you will be quite surprised at how much we know about you."

What in the world is going on? Usagi closed her eyes and attempted to ascertain what actually was occurring around her. I feel like I know the voice. Is this Setsuna's doing? If so, I'll need to have a serious talk with her about interrupting my sleep, no matter how noble her intentions might be.

"As amazingly powerful as Sailor Pluto is, we did not require her assistance in performing this task."

A cold shiver shot through Usagi's body, though it was her apprehensive stare that made that fear more evident.

"Wait… you can read my thoughts?"

"I'm sorry, but we cannot distinguish between that which you say verbally and the words that remain within the confines of your mind. In that regard, we recognize how confused we're making you and we do apologize for our furtive behavior and secrecy." A beat. "Saying that, however much you think we may deserve them, we beseech you to not say—or, I guess, think—such rude statements about us."

She could feel the heat, but if only Usagi could see how vividly red her cheeks had turned. "S-sorry," she whispered.

"It's quite fine, dear Serenity. You didn't know we could perceive so much, and we failed to warn you. Besides, in all honesty, any one of us would have been equally irritated to be disrupted from a peaceful slumber."

"You have no idea how so not-peaceful it was up to an hour ago."

"Oh goodness, that's horrible!" The orb shifted to a pale turquoise color upon the exclamation, and then changed to dark blue. "We hope you're not experiencing too much pain and that you're able to figure out how to resolve that. We're sorry that we're incapable of assisting you right now."

"I-I'm fine." A short if not slightly awkward silence punctuated her denial.

"Anyway, I think it would be best for you to return to your current home as we now are satisfied that you exist."

Arms akimbo, head tilted slightly askew, and a narrow-eyed glare marked a very exasperated blonde. "Wait, what? You mean you dragged me out of bed just to find out whether I exist? Couldn't you have saved both of us all the trouble and just, oh, I don't know… asked me? I would have told you yes and then I would've been right back to sleep."

"We're afraid it's not that easy." A sound similar to a disappointed sigh came from the orb. "If there's any consolation for you, the next time we meet you will have all of your questions answered, and then some. And, hopefully, you will not have such a terrible nightmare right before we summon you. Until then, goodbye, sweet Serenity. We wish you the best of luck in overcoming your ordeal."

Before Usagi could formulate any kind of response, the orb once gain exploded with dazzling white light, forcing her to shut her eyes. When she opened them again, complete darkness met her except for a faint red glow from the corner of a terribly small space. Strangely, she had to tilt her head toward her stomach to so much as glance at that glow. It was then when she realized she was lying down upon a soft mattress, and that the fabric rubbing against her skin felt far scratchier. She reached a hand outward to feel for the mattress's edge, then swung an exploratory foot over the side. Cold wood met her bare foot.

Hmm. Ah, so it's just like before.

As she slipped back into bed, she noticed that the clock showed six o'clock. She couldn't help the grin that played with her lips.

At least they were nice enough to give me some more time. Maybe now I can sleep without being interrupted.

—|1|2|3|—

Minako smiled even as she slurped at her smoothie, nearly leading to an incredibly awkward and embarrassing situation for the blonde. Nonetheless, the mere thought of what might have happened brought fits of giggles to Makoto, who had the good sense to stop drinking beforehand.

"Wow! This is so good!"

At least, that's what Makoto thought her friend had said, though the words were horribly muffled. A few seconds later, Minako finally brought the straw away from her mouth, leaving an empty glass behind.

"I'm so glad you suggested this."

"So am I, but I'm surprised you even really know how it tastes given the fact you sucked it down like a vacuum." She lifted her own glass, which was halfway filled, and smirked.

"Oooh, you'd better not tempt me. I'd reach over there and grab that from you in a second." It wasn't so much an idle threat as she appeared poised to leap across the table in an instant.

"Or, I could just buy you another one and save you the pain of hurting yourself."

"Please?" Her eyes went wide upon hearing the idea.

Makoto shook her head and sighed. "Oh, why not?" Her offhand reply was met with a not-so-muted squeal of delight, though that unbridled joy nearly would have come crashing to a halt had she not caught herself in time. "You know, you really are as bad as…"

"Hmm?"

"Um… never mind." She looked down at her glass for a few contemplative moments before turning her gaze back to Minako. "You know, we should probably get together with Rei-chan sometime soon. I really miss her."

Minako's sharp gasp came dangerously close to being loud enough to echo throughout the entire fruit parlor. "Oh my goodness, you're right! It's horrible how long it's been since I've last seen her. I hope she doesn't think we no longer want to be friends with her."

"Um… Minako-chan?" For a brief moment, absolute puzzlement replaced the sadness that had threatened to swallow Makoto whole. She cocked her head slightly to one side and lifted an eyebrow. "Didn't you last see her just three days ago?"

"Huh?" Her eyes darted away, idly searching the ceiling for some hidden answer before returning to the brunette upon coming up empty. "Ah, it doesn't matter." She shrugged and then smiled. "Anyway, why don't we go visit her today? It's the weekend after all, and she shouldn't be too busy."

"I'm sure she'd be happy to see us—um… well… she'd be happy to see you." Melancholy returned to her with full force, and Makoto's eyes dimmed as she turned her gaze downward yet again. "I don't know how nicely she'll greet me."

In contrast, Minako stared squarely at Makoto in utter confusion. "Huh? Why wouldn't she want to see you? After all, I forgave you, so I can't see why she wouldn't want to do the same."

"I guess…"

"No, I know so."

She leaped from the bench and ran to Makoto's side of the table, looping her arm under one of the brunette's and hoisting the larger girl to her feet. It was an impressive feat by any standard. Maybe a bit silly as well, but being so deep in the moment she paid it no mind. Everything gave way to her rampant enthusiasm.

"So, we should go see her as soon as we possible."

"But, what about your smoothie?"

"That can wait. This is far more important."

The trip from Crown to the Hikawa Shrine took fewer than ten minutes, with Minako all but dragging along a very anxious Makoto. The latter girl didn't know how Rei felt about her ever since their battle, and she was in no particular hurry to find out. However, if ignorance was bliss, nothing she could do anymore could prevent extreme disappointment.

The steps of the shrine soon came into sight. As Makoto ascended them she could see Rei busily sweeping. However, that activity did not last long, and it stopped the moment she reached the top.

"Hi, Minako-chan." If Rei were at all surprised to see the blonde, it paled in comparison to the absolute shock of seeing the person who accompanied her. "M-Makoto?"

"Hi, Rei-chan." Minako smiled brightly and offered a friendly smile, but it went all but unseen by the girl whose attention was fixated on the brunette.

"Rei, I—"

That was all Makoto could say before she heard the broom clatter loudly against stone. Stunned silence dominated the girl but for a moment as she struggled to comprehend which emotion to feel: sadness, or anger. After all, she never dealt well with rejection. Seeing Rei's turn her back to her with nary a word uttered smacked of that terrible act. What would come next? A snide, hateful comment from Rei revealing how deeply she despised the brunette? Or would Rei's words be more direct and incisive, ending once and for all any hope for friendship before ultimate abandonment? Both, maybe?

Neither, as it turned out. Though she struggled to tell at first due to Rei's pained whisper.

"Makoto, could you please join me in my room? There's something important I have to say, but I don't want to say it out here. You too, Minako."

The two girls looked to one another and simultaneously shrugged the moment Rei began walking. They said nothing, instead opting to join the girl in a slow, quiet procession to her bedroom. Once there, Rei directed the girls inside and secured the door behind her. She wanted to ensure that their conversation would remain private as, despite her confession, it was senshi business. And the first order of senshi business directly involved the soldier of lightning. Turning a sullen gaze to Makoto, Rei opened her mouth. However, she was not the first to speak.

"Rei, I'm sorry for…" A solemn shake of Rei's head, along with her raised hand, made Makoto fall silent.

"No, Makoto. You have no need to apologize, not to me at least." Rei's initially calm voice wouldn't last for long. "I'm the one who should be apologizing to you. I'm the one who was being foolish and thus couldn't see through my hatred of Usagi. I was the one who turned that senseless hatred toward you. Because of that… because of me, we fell apart." She paused for a few seconds to contain what little poise she had remaining and to wipe away the tears that had started to form in her eyes. "I'm so sorry," she continued in a whisper. "I'm so, so sorry. I… Could you ever forgive me for hating you and for trying to hurt you?"

Misery won out, and Rei succumbed to her tears. Despite her blurred vision, she could sense Makoto's cautious approach. More by reflex than conscious effort, she flinched when the girl was within arm's reach. Thus, her surprise when she felt herself wrapped in a gentle and soothing embrace. It was a hug into which she willingly let her body collapse.

"I forgive you, Rei-chan," Makoto said. "I know everything has been confusing for all of us over the past month and, as angry as I got at you, I don't hate you for any of it."

"But still, I shouldn't have been so stupid to think that way," Rei said between her sobs.

"In that case, I was being stupid as well." Makoto lightly rubbed Rei's back in an attempt to calm the girl. It was something she would do for the next minute before the tears finally ceased and the senshi of fire found the strength to stand on her own and lightly push away from the hug.

"Sorry for that, Mako-chan."

Makoto shook her head and smiled warmly. "Don't be. That's what friends are for after all."

Rei nodded and smiled in kind to Makoto before walking over to her bed and sitting down alongside Minako. Makoto took a seat in the rolling chair next to the desk. With the most important thing resolved, they could address other issues.

"So, um… what actually happened that day?" The expression adorning Minako's face screamed apprehension. "Mako-chan said something about Kunzite coming here and attacking the shrine, but I don't remember any of it." She heard Rei's distressed sigh and quickly raised her hands in a defensive gesture. "Sorry if I'm making you remember something painful, Rei-chan. It's just… we've never talked about it before. And then, seeing you with Mako-chan here, I became curious."

"It's alright, Minako-chan." A single nod from her easily calmed the blonde, though she needed yet another sigh before she felt enough composure to talk about that day. "Kunzite did come here, along with this other woman who I'm sure works with the Dark Kingdom. They came here to take Usagi's transformation brooch from us so they could gain access to the Silver Crystal. Of course, the crystal was never within the brooch, but none of us knew it at the time. Anyway, they were much stronger than us. Our attacks had no effect on them whatsoever. Then that woman hit you with this attack that looked just like your Love-Me Chain but was far stronger. You were immediately knocked unconscious, and, honestly, I was afraid you wouldn't live much longer after that. The last thing they did was teleport us to the Dark Kingdom."

Minako closed her eyes as she leaned back onto Rei's bed. "I see…" she whispered. "I mean, I still can't remember any of it, but it sorta makes sense, I guess. It certainly explains all that damage I saw when I visited you that one time."

Meanwhile, Makoto gazed at Rei with curiosity. "I'm sure your grandfather had to wonder what went on in there."

"No doubt he did."

"Hmm? What did you tell him?" Minako asked.

Rei paused for several moments and took a deep breath before answering as she knew the revelation would shock her fellow senshi. "The truth."

Indeed, the pair of wide-eyed stares with mouths hung agape once the two girls fully comprehended her meaning proved her right.

"Y-you mean…" Makoto began.

"Yes, I told them I was Sailor Mars," Rei finished. "What else could I say that could reasonably describe the enormity of the damage that occurred there? And besides, I don't see much of a point in keeping our identities secret when the Dark Kingdom already knows who we are."

"That makes sense… wait, them?" Minako asked, her eyes bulging even greater with astonishment.

"I told Yuuichirou-san as well. He was there at the time, and more importantly he deserves to know as much as anyone."

"I assume that means you confessed to him, right?" Minako's rampant enthusiasm and the seeming randomness of her question caused Makoto to tilt her head slightly in confusion.

"Isn't that what I just said? I did confe…"

Naturally, Rei's temper had gotten the better of her, but once she realized the true meaning of Minako's question she stopped talking. Her face almost immediately became bright red as she swiveled away from the girls.

"You love him, Rei-chan. I know you do. So, why not just go out there and tell him already?"

"I do want to tell him, but for some reason I just don't feel right about doing it now." There was a hint of disappointment in her soft voice. "I feel… I guess I just need to resolve some other issues before I do that."

Makoto placed a comforting hand on Rei's shoulder. "That's fair."

Minako was about to press further but a fleeting yet piercing glare from the brunette discouraged her from doing exactly that. There would be other, more appropriate times to inquire into the love lives of her friends.

"In any case, I think Minako-chan should tell her parents about her identity as Sailor Venus," Rei said more earnestly. "That way they can at least know what's going on. Also, if the worst ever came to pass, they would know why."

"Yeah…" Minako reclined across the bed once again, breathing a sad sigh as she stared vacantly at the ceiling. "I guess… I know what you're saying, but it's awfully hard for me to do that with my mother being as irritating to me as she always is. She'll probably use that info as an excuse to remind me of how irresponsible I am and how I lack any motivation to do anything worthwhile with my life. And you know the worst part is? She's right. The way I've handled the past few months, and especially the last two weeks leading up to the battle, basically showed that I lack the skill and responsibility to lead you guys."

Had she noticed it, the intensity behind Makoto's stare would have been enough to frighten the blonde stiff. However, there was no ignoring the forceful voice that followed.

"No, that's not right. We've all made mistakes along the way. Terrible mistakes, even. How badly I've treated Usagi-chan over those past several weeks is probably the worst mistake I'll ever make. But, I don't know of anyone who hasn't made a mistake at least once in their lives."

"That's not exactly helping, Mako-chan," Rei whispered.

"Um… anyway… the point is: it's not if you make mistakes or not that determines your worth as a leader. It's how you respond to the mistakes you've made. And I'm positive that you're a good enough leader to overcome anything, including this."

A beat and sharp gasp later, Minako clambered around the bed to point her doe-eyed gaze at Makoto. "Y-you really believe that?"

"Absolutely." Makoto's vigorous nod and generous smile buttressed her words.

"I also believe it," Rei added in a more serious tone. "It may be difficult, but if I can trust anyone to triumph over such an obstacle, it's you."

The blush spreading across her cheeks was inevitable, and Minako did nothing to hide it. Still, while she appreciated the faith those two had in her leadership abilities, she lacked the confidence of the one person who mattered most. That knowledge tempered her elation.

"Thanks, guys." Minako fell remarkably solemn when she then turned toward Rei. "I'll do whatever I can to make everything right again for the two of us. I promise."

Rei forced a smile that survived for only a few moments before collapsing into a dejected frown.

"I'm not sure that I would make such a promise, Minako-chan."

"Why not?" Minako pushed herself fully upright to more easily direct her probing gaze at Rei. "I know it's probably harder for you than it is for me, but I'm more than willing to help you restore your friendship with Usagi-chan. And I'm sure Mako-chan's just as willing, especially since she already has Usagi-chan's forgiveness."

"It's not that I don't want either of you to help me. I'm just not certain it would make any difference. She absolutely hates me, and I don't think anything short of a miracle will change that."

"Oh, you don't honestly believe that, do you?" Makoto asked in astonishment. "There's no way Usagi-chan can hate you. Sure, she's angry and hurt right now, but she'll come around. And we'll do everything we can to make sure she does just that."

Rei sighed as she pondered her friends' comments. She believed their sincerity, but that hardly could erase her nightmare from her mind. Such a sickening dream had to come from somewhere, but what it meant remained a mystery to her. Could it have been a premonition? For someone with the power to foretell future events as visions, that thought absolutely frightened her. Still, she forced a smile upon her lips and attempted to hide any worry.

"You're right. Eventually she'll accept me once again."

"Damn straight she will!" Makoto punched the air with enthusiasm. "It is Usagi-chan we're talking about after all. You have nothing to worry about." Minako emphatically nodded in agreement.

Rei looked away from her friends who, despite being well-meaning, only increased her melancholy. In doing so her eyes caught a glimpse of her alarm clock, whose hands almost pointed at five o'clock. Fortunately, she had already completed the bulk of her homework for the weekend that Saturday morning. She still had math homework to complete, but it was fairly simple work that required only an hour under normal circumstances. She might have needed twice as long with her present mindset. In either case, she wanted to gently ease her fellow senshi away before she began to feel even more miserable.

"Hmm… it seems to be quite late," she said in the most nonchalant voice she could produce.

Minako's eyes widened when she noticed the clock, and she remembered that she did not want to spend any more money on food. "I almost forgot that I needed to get home soon so that I can actually eat dinner." Her rapid-fire cadence revealed panic. "I'm so sorry I have to rush out of here so soon. We'll definitely see each other again, I know it. You should come back to eating lunch with us. We've missed you dearly."

Rei's sole response was a shallow nod, but it was enough to satisfy Minako as she waved once again before running out the door. The shrine maiden then turned to Makoto, who was also making her departure, albeit at a slower pace. Unlike the blonde, she did not say quite as much in parting, but her words probably were more meaningful.

"I'm happy to have you back, Rei-chan."

"Me too."

The smile that graced Rei's lips might have been tiny, but unlike the previous ones it was sincere.