Disclaimer: I don't own Batman.
Bruce Wayne was attending a party this evening. The party was being held at Wayne Manor. Bruce was flirting with 3 or 4 girls until he looked out a window to see the batsignal. "Excuse me ladies I have to go now." Bruce said and went into his father's study. "Sir? What about the guests?" Alfred asked. "You think of something Alfred. Gotham needs Batman." Bruce said and went into the Batcave entrance behind the clock. Batman jumped into the Batmobile and raced off through the cave and out a blocked exit in the mountain. He rushed to Gotham city to see what Gordon's latest emergency was.
Gordon looked at his watch and sighed. There was a little bit of breeze tonight and it blew his jacket. "Waiting for me?" Batman said and Gordon noticed he was right there. "Batman! Someone has kidnapped Montoya!" Gordon spat out. "Leave it to me." Batman said and grappled out of there. Batman was looking around the city from a skyscraper. "Any luck yet sir?" Alfred asked from over the radio. "Nothing. I have no idea what's even going on." Batman replied. "HELP!" A woman yelled from a nearby street. "I have to go Alfred." Batman said and went to the woman. 2 thugs that looked like Gilligan and the Skipper were cornering a woman in an alley. "Come on lady. We just want your cash!" Gilligan said. "Get out of here!" Batman said and knocked their heads together. "Batman!" The woman said in surprise. "SKIPPER! WHERE'S BABY DOLL!" Batman said and lifted him up off the ground. "Right here!" The woman yelled and smacked Batman in the back of the head with a mallet. Baby Doll jumped out of her mech and landed next to Batman. "Ughh...Baby Doll?" Batman said. Baby Doll kicked him in the face and he fell unconscious.
Batman woke up in a room full of toys with big stuffed animals everywhere. "Pinch me if I'm dreaming..."Batman said. Baby Doll pinched his arm. "Like it?!" she asked. "No. It's too cute." Batman said in disgust. Baby Doll smacked him across the face. "Your just a big meanie!" She screamed. "What are you going to do about it, runt?" Batman taunted. "GRRRR! I'LL TEACH YOU!" Baby Doll screamed and smacked him across the face repeatedly. He head butted her and she went flying into a table. "BOSS!" Gilligan yelled and him and Skipper ran in the room. "Did you do this bats?" Skipper asked. "Maybe I did." Batman said in a cocky voice. "Why you little..." Gilligan said and punched Batman in the stomach. "Lets kill him!" Skipper said and tossed Gilligan a revolver. Batman tried to free himself from his straight jacket but it was no use. "DO IT!" Baby Doll ordered. Batman freed himself and punched Skipper right in the face. Gilligan tried to run but Batman grabbed him by his black coat and threw him into a pile of huge wooden letter blocks.
"FINE! I'LL KILL YOU MYSELF!" Baby Doll screamed and ran at Batman with a knife. "Batman took the knife from her and broke her wrist. "OWWWW!" She screamed and cried. "You're going back to Arkham Dahl!" Batman said seriously. Skipper walked up behind him and Batman punched him right in the face without even turning around. "Wow this is much harder then that police woman was!" Gilligan said and reached for his gun. "Police woman?!" Batman said and stepped on his hand. "OW!" Gilligan screamed. Skipper was charging at Batman and Batman threw the still crying Baby Doll into him and he fell backwards. "ALRIGHT SCUM, YOU'RE GOING TO TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU KNOW! WHAT POLICE WOMAN!?" Batman said and put his boot over Gilligan's hand. "DON'T TALK!" Baby Doll screamed. "I can't tell you." Gilligan said. Batman stepped on his hand really hard. "Okay! I'll tell!" Gilligan screamed. "YOU BETTER NOT TELL!" Baby Doll screamed. "TALK NOW! UNLESS YOU NEVER WANT TO MOVE YOUR HAND AGAIN!" Batman threatened and raised his boot above his hand.
"WE GAVE HER TO SOME GUY WEARING A PURPLE SUIT!" Gilligan blurted out. "YOU'RE FIRED!" Baby Doll screamed. "JOKER!" Batman yelled. He grabbed their whole gang and brought them back to the police station. Then he got in the Batmobile and started to scout around for the Joker. Batman went to all Joker's usual spots until he saw a purple car outside a trailer. Batman tried to listen. He looked through the window and saw Montoya tied up. Joker was there talking to Rocko and Headshaw. "We got bat problems!" Harley said and was behind Batman. "HARLEY!" Joker yelled and kicked the trailer door open. "We have company puddin'!" Harley said and took out a rubber chicken. She tried to hit Batman with it but he grabbed her by the arm and threw her into trash cans. "That's not very nice Batman! Headshaw, Rocko, kill him!" Joker ordered and watched. Rocko tried to punch Batman in the head but he dodged all 3 blows and punched Rocko in the face. Headshaw tackled Batman and knocked him down. He began to smash Batman's head against the ground.
"Batman! I had no idea that you kissed the ground we walk on! Ha ha ha ha!" Joker laughed. Batman kicked Headshaw off and into Rocko just as he was getting back up. Harley flipped in front of the Joker. "HEY BRATMAN! IF YOU WANT MR. J YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME!" Harley yelled. Batman walked right up to her and shoved her aside. Harley took out her popgun and shot Batman into the trailer. He was stuck in pink chewing gum. "Well this is a sticky mess you've gotten yourself into!" Joker said. "LET MONTOYA GO!" Batman ordered. "Batsy! What fun would that be?" Joker asked. "Yeah...we're dumping her in the river tomorrow morning!" Harley said happily. "Just to make sure you don't stop us we got Batgirl as well!" Joker said and Rocko brought out Batgirl who was tied up. "Well it looks like we'll have to kill her!" Joker said happily. Headshaw repeatedly punched Batgirl in the stomach and she was trying to scream through her gag. "ARGGG!" Batman screamed and broke free from the chewing gum. Rocko smacked Batgirl hard across the face and threw her.
Batman punched Rocko in the stomach hard then kicked Headshaw in the neck. He grabbed Joker before he even knew what hit him. "I'LL KILL YOU RIGHT HERE!" Batman growled. "Hahahahaha! Batman! You would never kill me!" Joker said and punched him in the mouth. Harley kicked him in the face and Batman grabbed her ankle and tripped her. When Batman looked he saw Joker putting a revolver up to Batgirl's head. "You lose, Batman!" Joker said evilly. Batman threw a batorang and it knocked the gun away. He tackled the Joker and punched him without stopping. Batgirl got up and went to free Montoya. "NO!" Joker yelled and Batman gave him a finishing blow. He went flying into a huge stack of trash cans. "We did it!" Batman said. A police car pulled up and the officer called for backup.
The credits roll.