Saiyan Saga - Chapter 10: Remember The Name
Goku could feel Nappa's Bomber DX attack slowly beginning to overpower his Kamehameha wave. Despite the fact that they were absolutely even in fighting power, Nappa's Lightning Aura power up was beginning to give him an edge, one big enough to overcome the stalemate that had been created as a direct results from both Saiyans not wanting to give in or let the other one budge.
"Kakarot! It's your time to join your feeble brother in Hell!" Nappa laughed as he extended a hand with bioelectricity surrounding him. The brutish Saiyan was overjoyed as he felt Kakarot's pitiful attack being overcome by his. No one could ever beat the Saiyan general Nappa; it was impossible!
"I can't…let you win!" Goku promised. The idea of using the Super Kamehameha was a risky one no doubt, but if it had the potential to defeat Nappa, the Earth-born Saiyan was all for it. "I'm putting all or nothing into this one attack!"
"You will try," Nappa replied. "I can't wait until your dead body falls out of the sky, so that I can crush your face beneath my boot!"
The sky was becoming black behind them, despite the fact it was only a little bit past two in the afternoon. Not that anyone noticed, however, due to being so focused on the fight.
While he often looked dense on the outside, no one could deny the fact that Goku was incredibly bright when it came to fighting, which was probably a result of his Saiyan genes. Being the intelligent fighter that he was, Goku knew that because of the added ki that he would have to put into the Super Kamehameha, he'd get drained pretty quickly even though he had a good amount of energy stored up in his reserves.
Oh well, the Saiyan thought as he called out the attack and felt the energy gathering in his hands. I learned a long time ago that as the protector of this planet, it's my duty to make sure that it's safe from people like this! Besides…even if something happens to me, we have the Dragon Balls. But I can't think like that! I have to make sure that I give this guy everything that I have!
"SUPER…KAMEHAMEHA!"
The blue attack currently coming out of Goku's cupped hands seemed to almost double in size if that was even possible, considering how big the Kamehameha had been before. After a few seconds of the stalemate continuing, Goku was able to push the Bomber DX back, even as he felt like his body had caught on fire from the sheer amount of energy he was using.
Ignoring the pain for the time being, Goku absentmindedly smiled faintly from his position in the air as beads of sweat ran down his face. However, the palm-tree haired fighter knew that he couldn't smile until he knew that it was over, so he quickly wiped it off his face. The light radiating from the blast was blinding, enough to make the Z-Fighters want to cover their eyes as if they were hit with a Solar Flare.
"Ah! It's unreal! How is he generating this much power?" Piccolo asked, feeling horribly insignificant in power to his rival. This was becoming an occurrence that was happening far too often, but the Namekian was a bit too wrapped up looking on in awe to even react angrily to the gap between the two.
Gohan grinned and raised a fist triumphantly; his gut was telling him that his father would win the fight. "Do it dad!"
"I don't…believe it! This is impossible!" Nappa yelled as he realized that the Super Kamehameha had completely pushed the Bomber DX back. The bald Saiyan had a very good point, how was this possible? The Lightning Aura provided him with a power up where he basically was impossible to beat, yet this Kakarot had provided him with such a good challenge…what really irritated Nappa was that it seemed like he had been saying that over and over since the fight started; his level of frustration at being bested was just too high to think clearly and form different thoughts apparently.
"It is time for you to say goodbye Nappa!" Goku said loudly, knowing that this was it. "IT'S OVER!"
The combined attack of the Bomber DX and the Kamehameha seemed to engulf Nappa completely, and the last thing that the Saiyan could do was let off a scream of incoherent gibberish until he found the energy to yell one last thing. "KAKAROT!"
A huge BOOM echoed through the area as the Kamehameha hit the ground, creating a massive crater that would be seen as soon as the smoke that was generated was able to pass and evaporate. There was no immediate sign of Nappa, however, and the Z-Team all assumed that their leader had managed to obliterate him.
"Did…I do it?" Goku asked as he fell to the ground, drained of a good chunk of his energy. The tumbling Saiyan fell into the arms of Tien, who huffed a little bit upon catching Goku in his weighted clothes.
"Awesome job Goku! You're the best!" Yamcha exclaimed.
Damn it Goku…you're always managing to surpass me! Piccolo thought to himself, his normal personality characteristics returning. The Namekian crossed his arms and frowned as he looked at the smoke cloud billowing in the air. "You're sure that he's dead, Goku? The exact same thing happened against Raditz; we thought that we had killed him, and then when the smoke vanished, he was alive!"
"Aw come on Piccolo relax! When has Goku ever failed us?" Krillin asked with a smile.
When Goku decided to let Raditz go and he almost died for it, Piccolo said to himself. "Well, I'm pretty sure that Goku's father is still fighting that Vegeta guy, so I say that we go…" The sound of laughter made Piccolo stop talking, and color drained from his face. Everyone snapped their heads around and turned to look at the smoke filled crater. The laughter increased in sound as the smoke evaporated, showing a lone figure levitating just above the crater – Nappa.
"W-what? How did you survive?" Krillin asked, horrified.
Nappa smirked as he landed and walked over to where his blue scouter lay on the dirt. The bald Saiyan was badly cut and bruised and had blood on his chest, but nonetheless was able to survive that attack. Bending down and outfitting the scouter, the brute walked back over to the Z-Fighters, some of whom got into fighting stances. Those who didn't were either too horrified or too amazed that he survived to do so.
"I have to give you some credit Kakarot! That was a pretty powerful blast! Luckily, I managed to avoid that explosion once I saw that Bomber DX of mine was getting pushed back, I got the hell out of the way! If I hadn't done so…well, I wouldn't be here right now," Nappa revealed, Goku stood up weakly and took off the top half of his gi, throwing it to the ground. Now he stood in a blue weighted shirt and the orange pants, but the look he had on his face was one of absolute terror; the Saiyan just wanted to defeat his foe and help his father out in his fight against Vegeta.
"Fine then, if that didn't kill you, then I'll have to just find another way to." Despite the situation and his reduced energy, Goku shot an uncharacteristic glare at Nappa, who simply smirked again. No doubt that Goku's foe would show a little bit more of cockiness and arrogance because of his escape from death.
"Haha! Well then Kakarot, let's play," Nappa suggested, flying towards Goku and driving a fist into his gut. As Goku doubled over, Nappa brought his other fist forward and connected it with Goku's face, causing the Saiyan to hit the ground hard. Some dirt kicked up from the collision, and Nappa laughed manically.
"Now then…tell me how ya like this!" Nappa grabbed Goku by the leg and tossed him into a plateau. Thanks to the speed at which he was thrown, Goku went straight through the plateau…and was met by an Axe Handle by Nappa. The blue-shirt wearing Saiyan landed on some rocks, allowing the rocks to be destroyed as a result of the collision.
"Haha! A little punk like you doesn't stand a chance against the mighty Nappa!" Goku heard as he stood up. He needed a way to gain energy back, and fast! Where was Yajirobe with the Senzu Beans?
"HI-YAH!" Nappa phased behind Goku and kicked him into the air. The bald Saiyan flew to his rapidly moving opponent and proceeded to punt him like a football even higher. Goku felt an elbow being driven into his chest as he was knocked onto the top of a rock structure.
"This is…unreal," Goku said to himself as he leapt up and flew towards Nappa. Unfortunately for the Earth's protector, Nappa had much more energy at this point, and was able to dodge Goku's punch with no effort at all.
The brute countered with an elbow to Goku's neck, and once again, the palm-tree haired fighter coughed up blood. Seeing an opening, Goku weakly sent a fist into Nappa's chest and landed a hit in, causing Nappa to scowl and smack Goku.
"This isn't good. Goku's the strongest out of all of us, and this guy is beating him around like he's nothing," Yamcha noted as Nappa delivered a powerful roundhouse kick to Goku's gut. The younger Saiyan coughed up more blood and fell onto one knee.
"Tsk tsk, who said that we were finished?" Nappa questioned as he grabbed Goku by the arm and nonchalantly chucked him into another small group of rocks behind them.
"Yeah…but I don't think that we can just let Goku finish this off; he's lost so much of his energy that it'd be impossible. I may have to step in!" Piccolo exclaimed, clenching his fists. It was Piccolo's destiny and purpose to defeat Goku in battle, and the former Demon King wasn't going to let some stupid ape take that away from him!
Goku was drained, but there was one last thing that he would try. If this didn't work…well, he had failed in his job to defend his planet, and that was what hurt him more then any of Nappa's attacks.
"Ka…Me…" Goku stood up and cupped his hands once more, twisting to his right along the way. How many times had the Kamehameha saved him before? The Saiyan was sure that this time, it would work.
"Aw man, you're really gonna try this again?" Nappa skeptically asked. Hadn't this moron learned that Nappa was unstoppable by now?
"Ha…Me…" Goku continued; his cupped palms beginning to hold the blue ball of energy. "HAH!"
The tired fighter's signature attack shot quickly towards Nappa, but the muscular Saiyan put a arm out and deflected the energy wave, sending it onto a nearby rock formation. Goku fell to one knee again, exhausted mentally and physically.
"Well Kakarot, looks like you finally understand that no one can beat me, the mighty Nappa!" Nappa laughed as he grabbed the tired Goku by his shirt and put a hand on his heart. Goku was too weak to fight back, and deep down inside, he knew that he had failed. "You're a disgrace to all Saiyans, goodbye you low-class trash!"
CRACKKK!
"No more talking! Let's just end this here and now!" Bardock yelled as he finished powering up. Vegeta, whose arms were still crossed, frowned. He enjoyed talking it up and taunting his foes before he killed them.
"As you wish. However, that doesn't mean that I'll refrain from…"
THACKKK!
Bardock's fist collided with Vegeta's face, silencing the proud prince mid sentence. Vegeta's taunt was cut short, and the armored Saiyan put a glove on his face, wanting to ease the pain.
"How dare you interrupt me while I'm talking!" Vegeta exclaimed, jumping towards Bardock with an extended fist of his own. The royal Saiyan buried his fist in Bardock's chest, and as the opposing Saiyan doubled over for air, Vegeta strafed around and brought two fists down on his opponent.
As Bardock rocketed towards the ground, he managed to stop himself and regain footing. While Vegeta laughed in the air, the scar-faced Saiyan needed to make a plan. While his energy sensing abilities weren't the best, Bardock could feel that Goku was drained of a good chunk of his energy and was struggling with Nappa. Maybe it wasn't just the energy sensing that told him that…parental intuition perhaps?
Bardock focused his emotions and shot like a rocket at Vegeta with an arm out in front of him, prepared to take his prince down. Gathering energy in his fist, the low-class slammed an uppercut into Vegeta's jaw, making the elite cry out in pain.
"Damn low-class scum! This is the first time in so long that I've had to actually try in a fight, and I must admit that it's actually…exhilarating. I can't let this go on for much longer, however. I must end this here; my honor is on the line! I won't allow someone like…you," Vegeta spat as he said 'you', clearly frustrated at Bardock. "Insult my honor and pride!"
Bardock was confused. "When did I ever mention your honor or your pride? Did you maybe take a hit to the head too hard?"
"You managing to be even with me and draw blood from me is a huge insult to me, where's your Saiyan pride?" Vegeta asked. "I would think that even you would know about Saiyan pride."
"My Saiyan pride comes from the fact that I'm able to fight for what I believe in, not be controlled by some effeminate tyrant. All this pride and honor that you speak of…it vanished the day that you decided to serve Frieza as a slave," Bardock replied, stunning Vegeta. Bardock's audacity to even say that was astounding, and he would pay.
"Fine then!" Vegeta phased in front of Bardock and kicked him in the chin, then brought an elbow down upon his head. Bardock fell to the orange ground below, a small crater forming upon impact.
Vegeta landed on the ground and closed his eyes for a minute, reveling in the fact that he could finally end this. "I must admit…this has been fun. However, it is time for you to join your weakling of a son in Hell, Bardock. When you see him, tell him that he failed not only Nappa and I, but his entire race!" Vegeta cupped his hands in a manner similar to Goku, but instead of a blue ball of energy, the color was purple.
"GALICK…GUN!" The elite warrior started, and then Vegeta felt a pain like he had never experienced in his back. Turning his head around, he could see that Bardock had flown behind him and punched him once again in the back. As Vegeta turned around and prepared to fire a point-blank energy attack at Bardock, the latter Saiyan bit Vegeta on his arm.
Shrieking in pain, Vegeta tried to unleash an Axe Handle on Bardock and he did. With Bardock immobilized, Vegeta tried to fire the energy attack this time, but Bardock rolled out of the way, grabbed onto the back of Vegeta's jumpsuit, and chucked him up into the sky above.
Bardock flew upwards also and met Vegeta as the Saiyan did a flip mid-air to prevent himself from being attacked by Bardock while unable to defend himself and then getting seriously hurt. "Time to show you a little something that Kakarot taught me in our training. ROCK!" Bardock tried to punch Vegeta in his face, but the prince caught Bardock's fist easily.
This? This was it? Seems that Kakarot may not be as strong as I had…
"SCISCORS!" Bardock sent two fingers forward and poked Vegeta in the eyes, causing the proud elite to scream in pain once again. Why was it that seemingly every time he wanted to say something, whether to himself or out loud, someone had to hit him in the face?
"PAPER!" With Vegeta blinded, Bardock put an open palm out in front of him and hit him in the face. Goku had decided to teach Bardock the Jan ken technique and had praised because it could take an opponent completely by surprise. Bardock hadn't been able to master it during their training, despite the fact it was honestly an easy move to pull off, but it had worked here to perfection.
"GOODBYE PRINCE! NEVER COME BACK!" Bardock yelled, kicking the still blinded and wounded Vegeta into the air. As Vegeta spiraled like a football in the air, there was one thing on his mind.
"I…have to…kill this fool!"
Nappa dropped Goku and put a hand to his neck, wondering who had dared to attack him behind his back. Turning around, the shirtless brute was shocked to see the Namekian standing in front of him, arms crossed and scowling.
"Ah, so the Namek wants to play huh?" Nappa asked, cracking his neck loudly. "Alright, let's see what you can do? Perhaps you'll fare better then Kakarot!"
"You're all bark and no bite, Saiyan. While I do owe you because you've managed to enlighten me about my origins and where I come from, let's make one thing clear…" Piccolo replied, clenching his green-skinned fists and starting to power up, knocking the mustached Saiyan back. "I was created for the sole purpose of defeating Goku, and letting some kind of moronic alien take that away from me isn't going to happen! Plus…I've come to call this planet my home, and you will not destroy it!"
"Hey, Tien!" Piccolo called. "Take Goku for me! It would be ideal for us to retrieve some of those Senzu Beans." Upon finishing this sentence, Piccolo lightly tossed Goku to Tien again, who caught him a lot easier this time.
"I could go," Yamcha said, preparing to take off. "Yajirobe told us that he would bring some from Korin's place, so I wouldn't mind going to get him."
"Coward," Piccolo spat. "Knowing you, I wouldn't be shocked if you were only leaving because you fear the power that these Saiyans posses. Fine, go and get 'Hokiphoki' or whatever his name is, and get him fast!" Yamcha flew off at Piccolo's allowance, and the Namekian turned back to Nappa.
"As I was saying…you will not defeat me!" Piccolo yelled, bringing a boot up to Nappa's chin and using a Kiai to send him backwards.
"I have one question," Nappa started as he grabbed Piccolo's fist mid punch. "If Kakarot, who the scouters said was stronger, couldn't beat me, what makes you think that you can defeat me?" Nappa wondered as he blocked one of Piccolo's punches.
"Easy. Goku was trained in the arts of the Turtle School," Piccolo said, ramming his shoulder into Nappa's chest area. "And I was trained in the arts of the Demon School. As you're going to learn," Piccolo kicked Nappa away from him, then phased behind the moving Saiyan and kicked him again, this time upwards. "The ways that we fight greatly differ, but we have the same goal in mind – defeating you!"
Piccolo flew up to Nappa and stepped on his body with both of his boots, making Nappa fall back to the ground, almost where Krillin and Tien, along with the other Z-Fighters stood.
"Everyone clear out of the way!" Tien ordered, and everyone ran in different directions to avoid being flattened by Nappa.
"Wow, Piccolo's gotten strong!" Krillin said, watching Piccolo land and dodge a punch by Nappa. The Namekian countered with an eye beam that went straight through Nappa's shoulder.
"Yes he has…but part of me is wondering if the Saiyan is fatigued, and that's why Piccolo has the advantage right now…or is Piccolo just that strong?" Tien questioned as Nappa yelled in pain, and blindly tried to grab Piccolo's neck. Seeing this, the Namekian phased out of sight and reappeared behind Nappa, and returned the favor, grabbing Nappa by the neck now.
"This is a mistake on your part that you won't live to regret. You're probably wondering inside that tiny little brain of yours, what is the mistake that I speak of? Well, it's your and your foolish partner even daring to attack this planet!" Piccolo brought a pickle-colored finger to Nappa's head, preparing to execute the Saiyan mercilessly. Knowing that the other fight had a clear and easy shot to kill him, Nappa began to struggle and move his arms and legs all around. Piccolo held on tight, but when he felt a kick land in his chest, Piccolo had to let go.
"It's time for you to perish!" Nappa ran like a battering ram at Piccolo and knocked him to the ground. Stopping, Nappa did the exact same thing as soon as Piccolo got up, making both warriors extremely woozy.
Damn, this guy's resilient. Let's see, what can I do that'll take this guy out? Piccolo wondered as he just barely managed to avoid yet another punch from Nappa. The former Demon King extended a hand out and smirked. "DESTRUCTIVE WAVE!"
The yellow blast was sent towards Nappa, who deflected it just as he had done with the Kamehameha beforehand, but Piccolo had used it as a feint; the Namekian appeared behind Nappa and punched him several times in his back, making him cough up saliva and blood each time.
"Smart…move!" Nappa said as he fell on one knee. "But, I can't let you beat me!" Nappa ran towards Piccolo and engaged the Z-Fighter in pure physical combat. For every punch Nappa landed, Piccolo responded with a kick. If Nappa dodged an attack, Piccolo would counter with a dodge of his own.
"This can't go on forever…when won't you and your friends realize that you're ants compared to us!" Nappa said as he brought his leg upwards to try to apparently behead Piccolo, but the Namekian grabbed it and started to spin Nappa around in a fashion that was just like Goku's Dragon Throw.
When Piccolo decided to finally throw Nappa, he did so and made Nappa collide with a cliff. Piccolo phased out and combated the Saiyan on the cliff. Nappa, continuing to be blinded by anger, attempted a punch directed at Piccolo's face, but it passed through nothing but an afterimage.
"What the?" Nappa wondered, but Piccolo snuck up behind him and landed a kick in. Growling, Nappa turned around and used a Kiai of his own to propel Piccolo backwards. "Time to die Namek!" Nappa raised two fingers up and a blue light surrounded where Piccolo was. As Piccolo started to try to escape, he noticed that the surrounding area all became covered in that blue light.
What the? Piccolo wondered to himself.
"GOODBYE!"
The explosion shook the area, and the ground beneath Piccolo separated. All that could be seen where the ground used to be was black. If one were to jump in this hole, they would probably travel downwards the Earth's core for a long period of time before ultimately reaching their death.
"Ha ha ha ha ha! Looks like someone shouldn't have messed with me!" Nappa grinned before feeling something poke his shoulder. Turning around, Nappa saw Piccolo rear back his fist and connect it with his face. A cracking noise was heard just as Piccolo's fist landed on Nappa's nose.
"Huh? My nod! I think you broke my nod!" Nappa yelled. Piccolo smirked evilly, relishing in his opponent's pain.
"Oh well. By the way, your attack wasn't that powerful, in fact, I managed to escape easily. Let's stop warming up and actually get to the main fighting! I'm curious to see if you can live up to your name as an 'elite'," Piccolo said, infuriating Nappa for a brief moment. However, upon remembering how much more powerful he was compared to the Namek, Nappa smirked.
"Ok then, let's go."
Planet Frieza, Number 79
"Captain Namole…what's the report?" An effeminate voice asked. The humanoid being turned around to see his superior, Zarbon, standing in the doorway with his arms crossed and his cape flying.
"We've made several efforts to contact Prince Vegeta and Nappa, but it seems that their scouters may have been destroyed. At least, we believe that Vegeta's has, because we're not even getting any sort of connection," Namole replied, making sure to make eye contact with Zarbon. The blonde-haired soldier remembered just a couple of weeks ago when a blue-skinned soldier had been beheaded simply for not making eye contact.
Zarbon smirked. "Really Captain, you're inclined to believe that? I believe that Vegeta had decided to finally go through with his insubordination and rebel against Lord Frieza. Speaking of Lord Frieza, he is going to depart soon to return to Planet Arcos, so if Vegeta does indeed return here, make sure to contact us immediately. If you don't…well, I'll make sure that you end up like your ex comrade," Zarbon turned around and prepared to walk back to where Frieza's ship was, but he stopped in place upon remembering something.
"Oh yes…do me a favor. Make sure to tell our prince that he's running out of second chances…running to some mudball that we've never even heard of to avenge a weakling like Raditz does not fly in the Planet-Trade Organization." Zarbon then walked out, leaving Namole trembling in his boots.
As Zarbon walked through the hallway, green ponytail flying behind him, the elite general smirked to himself. I don't know why Frieza continues to let you live, but when you return from your little trip, I promise that I will convince him to let me kill you once and for all! For the first time in a long time, Zarbon's smile was one of pure happiness as thought of how he would eliminate that stupid, puny, weak Saiyan.
Hello friends and happy Sunday! We continue on with the fight against the Saiyans, and Nappa's pretty pissed that Piccolo and Goku have both provided him with a good fight. Vegeta too, but as we saw this chapter, part of him is actually enjoying the opportunity to get a good fight in. That's the Saiyan genes in him, of course.
Props to anyone who can figure out where I got the name of the title! It may seem obvious to some people, but I want to see who can recognize it!
I want to apologize for my troubles with saying that I would upload every Saturday. I may just upload every week on a non-specific day, but it'll be when I'm most confident in my work. I hope that all of you will continue to read and support!
That ending scene was something that I was originally going to have a little bit later, but I decided to add it into this chapter. Captain Namole is a soldier in canon that Frieza kills, but my good friends FinalFlashX and SuperVegetarott have based jokes around him, and I decided to put him into this chapter along with Zarbon.
Vegetarott also helped me with the first scene, mostly the beam struggle and how exactly Nappa survived, so shoutout to him. Go check out his new story, Guardian, which is about Bardock becoming Guardian of the universe.
Finally, I don't ask you guys for much other then leaving feedback, but can you guys please go check out Justice Enforcers by KaiserNight for me? Kaiser's got some stuff going on with his personal life, and I think that it'd make him happy if he saw some new reviewers and readers on his story!
I don't have much to say besides that, and as always, here's the Q&A.
R: "No comment XD" I'm so taking that as a yes, LOL.
A: You'll see Pointer! Now, find something new to point to…go! Lol.
R: Enjoyed the Vegeta/Bardock fight, and I'd like to note Nappa is extremely IC here, as is Goku
A; That's the goal my friend! Thanks for your feedback on that.
R: If only Raditz trained while he was still living
A: Yep, although even if he had a power level of 3000 when he fought the Earthlings, the main thing that brought him down all the time was his overconfidence and his pride…who does that sound like?
R: bom
A: Camels.
R: An amazing story so far I always liked the idea of Bardock having a real impact on the story line your story flows extreamly well and is a text book example of quality over quantity. One thing I need to ask sorry if this was anwsered already but will raditz and the saiyans in hell have an impact on the story later because while that would be awesome it could turn this into a curb stomp fic which there are way to many of.
A: They won't really have an impact, no. However, Bardock will still think about his dead friends at some point, and we won't see Raditz again for the most part.
R: Roshi isn't a pedophile. He's just a normal perv.
A: Roshi hit on Bulma when she was 16 and told her to lift up her dress so that she could show him her panties…SIXTEEN YEARS OLD. That's pretty pedophilic in my opinon…
R: I kind of hope you won't steal Goku's thunder by having Bardock beat on Vegeta too hard. We all know he HAS to have the Kamehama-Galick Gun beam struggle. You just can't mess with that.
A: Lol we'll see what happens with that. The Bardock-Vegeta fight is interesting and different, as we've seen so far. That's all I'll say.
R: guess I made a mistake, Bardock doesn't have a canon power level.
A: ? Yes he does. Bardock: The Father Of Goku is canon, and it lists his power level at 10,000.
R: Awesome chapter. Suprised Bardock hasnt just came out and said "Freiza destroyed the planet" or does he think vegeta knows? Any chance of Gohan striking up a friendship at some point with #18? Think thaat would be something unique.
A: Vegeta does NOT know yet, but he sort of has a hunch. Will Bardock decide to tell him flat out? Will someone on Namek tell him? You'll see.
R: Awwwwwww poor Raditz :( he was abused all his life
A: Yes he was, and I'm assuming that it wasn't just Frieza and his men handing out those beatings. We know how much of a stickler Vegeta is for not failing, so if Raditz failed at any point (wouldn't doubt it), Vegeta and Nappa maybe beat on him.
R: Any chance of Gohan striking up a friendship at some point with #18? Think thaat would be something unique.
A: I've received a couple of reviews like this, and it's a good idea even thought it's a while until Android Saga. I plan to have Namek Saga going on for a WHILE, but it's a cool idea. I don't know if I'll use it, but it's something I could consider putting in at some point. Don't hold me to it, though.
R: Also, nice spot with Raditz. I hope his role gets bigger as this story progresses. That'd be a nice touch to go along with the theme of Second Chance. :)
A: Nah, the Second Chance is mostly for Bardock and I'm not a huge fan of Raditz nor can he really play a role if he's hanging out in the realm of Hell.
R: The reason why Goku is weaker than canon is because he hasn't trained under 10x gravity right? Since he was supposed to be 8000-9000 in the canon
A: At first I read this and said wut, but yeah, you're right! Remaining on Earth and training with his father, Gohan, and Piccolo made him pretty strong, but I think that the gravity training on King Kai's Planet definitely helped in canon. Good catch!
R: So I was really glad to see you put a lot more detail and description into this fight scene than I had previously seen in other chapters. You really helped show the how of the fight and not just what happenned in the battle between Goku and Nappa. Though I believe you left out one key aspect that is important in Dragonball fights: the effect the fighter's attacks have on the surronding enviroment. I don't believe I ever saw really a description of the dust being kicked up into the air when the fighters were sent crashing down to Earth or the ground shaking while they powered up. I say all this because one of the best things about the anime to me was just the awesome power that these fighters possessed could destroy mountains with a single punch and shake entire planets with their might. It's one of the things that makes Dragon Ball Z, Dragon Ball Z so just keep that in mind in the futue when writing fight scenes, but other than that I really liked the improvement I saw. Good job with his scene.
A: I tried to make some more comments about the enviorment in this chapter, especially with the Vegeta and Bardock fight, and I'm glad that you enjoyed that fight. That's one of the things that I think I really need to work on, and I'll make sure to work on that even more!
R: Alright let me start of with the good of the Raditz scene. I liked the fact that you decided to give some background information to Raditz's life and why he is the way he is. Also more on how he found out his brother was still alive and all of that background information. I also liked the small look into what's going on with the Saiyan's in hell. In fact, the whole scene was well-written and I felt myself somewhat attracted to your portrayal of Raditz. However, I can't help but feel this entire scene was a little unneccessary since Raditz is dead and I doubt there is anyway that he will ever be wished back to life. I could be wrong, but it more or less seemed like you threw this scene in just to satisfy Raditz fans when it really didn't add much to the story. Again, I really liked the scene and the writing was good, but I thought it was a little random to be put into this chapter.
A: It was more or less to show WHY Raditz didn't join Bardock and Goku, and I think I PM'd you that shortly after you reviewed. Anyway, I can confirm Raditz will NOT be amongst the living again through any process of revival.
R: Like I've said before, I really like how your story is formatted. Concise, coherent... all of that. Your review responses are actually interesting as well. I read all of them! Just like BoD, the review responses are things that I look forward to when reading. It takes a hell of a writer to make those interesting!
With regards to your syntax... I honestly believe you have two types. The first type is for non-battle scenes, like your Raditz scene. I felt it was very well-written, very descriptive, very informative, etc. It was fresh and non-repetitive. Your second type is for fight scenes. While being interesting and fun to read, I felt myself wanting a lot more description. You know, describe more of the setting. Describe the feelings of each character. Just more description overall; I feel that would increase the quality of your fight scenes.
A: Thank you Lucif! Fight scenes have honestly always been a problem of mine because I try to make it non-repetive, and I think that this chapter was a lot better in doing that. I'm glad you enjoy my formatting :D
R: Not much advanced here, so I won't talk about much. With that being said, I am quite intrigued as to how these battles will turn out... I am gonna assume that the Saiyans find themselves outmatched and resort to great ape transformation to even out the playing field, but that would mean they are way dominant over the Z Fighters... Hmmm... I don't know, to be completely honest! With that being said, I am quite intrigued with your overall plot and demand that you update sooner! XD
A: I promise that the rest of this fight will be VERY interesting and different, and I've been preaching that all along lol but I'm so excited to write what's going to happen. Great Ape? Definitely a possibility.
R: Wow, awesome chapter :) I really ejoyed all the fights, and that line that made Raditz shake his head my me laugh XD Of course someone would randomly say that before a fight. X3 Anyways, great chapter. I enjoyed it _
A: Thanks Stormie! I liked that line too, it seems like a line a Saiyan would say…or a human would say…or a Namekian would…wait Namekians don't have females. I digress lol.
R: Goku seemed off to me. Very off. I like the inner debate of whether he's an Earthling or a Saiyan, but his eloquent speech was just off to me. Everyone else I enjoyed in this chapter, especially your Vegeta. I feel he's worthy to mention because of my problems with his dialogue in previous chapters, but this time I think you did a good job with the Prince.
A: You think? I don't know, I thought that it seemed like something that Goku would say and it wasn't too OOC, but I hope that my Goku this chapter was more to your liking. And yeah, I honestly went back to The Prince's Return and read how I wrote Vegeta, so I could have a little bit of memory on how to properly write him since Pointer and others have told me I wrote a fantastic Vegeta.
Power Levels are really just the same as last chapter. I'll talk to you guys later, thanks for reading!