A/N: First of all, I'm so, so sorry that it took me this long to update, I'm a horrible person, I know. You all have .144 to thank for this chapter. She reminded me that I really needed to finish this, so thanks!

Second of all, this chapter... didn't quite turn out like I expected it to. I mean, the whole first part was exactly like I'd planned, but then I got stuck, so... I kind of just went with it, and this is what came out. Dreams are weird to write...

I am so, so sorry that messed up again, I seriously don't know what happened! Obviously I fixed it, I hope you don't mind reading this again :)
Again, I am so sorry!

Chapter 10:

previously:
"But what?" she asked gently. Reid couldn't look her in the eye. How could she still be so calm? How could she even stand to be near him? "Spence, what is it?" she insisted.

"I enjoyed it!"

/*/

Silence fell over the apartment. Reid could hear Matthew whimpering from all the noise, but he couldn't focus on that. "I enjoyed it," he whispered again, sinking to his knees. He put his head in his hands to shut out the world.

For nearly five minutes, neither of them moved, the only sound being Matthew, who was still whimpering quietly.

"Wh- what part?" she asked in a whisper.

Confused, Reid lifted his head. Everything was blurry, and he realized he must've been crying. "What do you mean?"

Annabelle licked her lips, hugging her arms around herself. "What part did you like? Was it – was it the rape itself?" she asked hesitantly.

"No," Reid replied immediately.

"So what was it then? I know you're not a sadist, nor a rapist, so what was it?"

Reid was shaking, he had no idea how to handle a situation like this. This was way outside of his comfort zone. "I – I don't know, just… just being with you," he answered eventually.

Annabelle took a step forward. "So you liked being with a woman?"

Reid fisted a hand in his hair. She didn't understand, he knew she couldn't. "What if I'm turning into the very monsters I spend my life fighting?" he whispered in a broken voice.

Annabelle came over, crouched down next to him and put a gentle hand on his cheek, forcing him to look at her. Slowly, he raised his eyes to hers and nearly broke down at the warmth in them. "Spencer Reid, you are not a monster, do you hear me? Not any more than I am. You're the only thing that kept me sane in there," she said in a gentle voice. "Spencer, it wasn't… it wasn't violent. It wasn't particularly comfortable, but…" she swallowed thickly. "I can't say I'm pleased to hear that you… but… you're not a monster for having liked being with someone. Even if it was under those circumstances."

"Reid just couldn't understand how she could say that. How could she not think he was a monster? So he asked. "How can you not think I'm a monster?" He was terrified of the answer, but he needed to know.

She shrugged, looking a little uncomfortable. "Because I thought that way about myself for a long time… You weren't the only unwilling participant back then, Spence. I… I guess I felt like… well, to put it bluntly, like a whore."

Reid could only stare at her. For all his prowess as a behavioral analyst, he could not understand this woman.

"It took me a long time to overcome that, to realize that it wasn't my fault. And neither was it yours, Spence. It was his fault, and he got what he deserved for it. When I finally came to that realization, I decided to move here and to tell you about Matthew."

"I don't understand."

Annabelle shrugged again and sat down next to him. "People don't always make sense, Spence, they're not numbers. Sometimes they do weird things, and sometimes… Sometimes they care about people they should logically hate…" she said, hesitantly, biting her lip and keeping her eyes on the ground.

Reid wiped his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. In a weird way, what she said made sense. Falling for a girl you'd never met before made no biological sense whatsoever, yet he'd fallen for Maeve. And he'd seen his coworkers do some incredibly illogical things, yet he considered every one of them completely normal people, people he loved…

"I'm going to get Matthew," Annabelle whispered, and quietly made her way back in to her bedroom.

Reid wasn't sure how long he sat there on the ground, but eventually, Annabelle returned with a wide-awake Matthew. She had his blanket over her shoulder, so he assumed she'd just fed him. God, he felt awful for ignoring his cries earlier.

Wiping his eyes one more time, he got up, walked over and took his son from Annabelle's arms. Cradling the child close to his chest, he wished he could freeze that moment, that he could just hold on to his son forever, and never have to deal with anything anymore. As he gazed at this tiny infant, he couldn't help but be overcome with love for the child. Could he really regret what happened when it gave him this? A chance to be a father, a part of a family?

Slowly, he became aware of Annabelle's eyes on him. "What did you mean, before?" he asked curiously.

"When?"

"When you said that you cared about people you should logically hate." He honestly hadn't really understood her whole speech, except for the fact that people weren't logical. He was really hoping that an explanation would give him some insight in… everything.

"You don't know?" she asked softly, cocking her head. Reid shook his head. Annabelle looked at the floor, probably trying to gather her thoughts. "Everyone else on this planet would have gotten rid of Matthew and moved as far away from here as possible… Me? I practically ran to you, and I love Matthew more than anything else. What kind of person does that make me?" She laughed humorlessly. "Guess we're both a little dysfunctional, huh?"

"I guess we are…"

/*/

Despite the heavy conversation they'd had, Annabelle and Spence agreed that they both needed sleep, and settled in to bed. Annabelle couldn't sleep, even with the comforting sound of Matthew's soft snores in the background.

Eventually, she told herself she needed to forget about that conversation for now and focus on sleep. Her son would need her to be awake and focused the next morning. She used a tactic her sister had taught her when she was little: she told herself a story, coming up with more and more ridiculous plot twists, until she fell asleep.

Unfortunately, she found no solace in her dreams.

It was dark, and she didn't know where she was. A light suddenly blinded her, illuminating herself and the chair she was sitting on. It was eerily reminiscent of an electric chair. "Hello?" she called out hesitantly. "Is anybody there?"

"All your fault," a voice whispered back. It seemed to be coming from every direction at once.

"Who's there? What's my fault?" she yelled back. Her heart was hammering against her ribs, only adding to her fear and agitation.

"Should have known… Your fault," the haunting voice continued. Annabelle was starting to panic, and wanted to get up from the chair, to take a look around. As soon as she tried to move, though, bindings appeared out of nowhere and wrapped around her arms and legs, effectively trapping her.

"What… What is this? What's going on!" she screamed. "Somebody help me!"

"Itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout," the voice sang. It was a man's voice, but the echoes distorted it, making it seem even more creepy.

"Who are you!" she yelled, getting more and more hysterical.

"Down came the rain and washed the spider out…" It had to be coming from behind her. Annabelle twisted in her seat to see the darkness behind her. Something moved.

"Out came the sun, and dried up all the rain…" Spence stepped out from the shadows, his face haunting and gaunt. He held a knife in his hands, twirling it around and around…

"And the itsy bitsy spider…" he sang softly. It didn't sound like his voice, it sounded… wrong. His eyes were on the knife, watching it reflect the light as it twirled and twirled. "… climbed up the spout again." He stopped singing, and walked around the chair to stand in front of her.

Somehow, the silence was even more terrifying than the singing had been. Finally, Spence stopped, a mere foot away from her. "Spence," she whispered, aware of tears on her cheeks, but not caring.

"You killed him," he said. His voice still had that strange echo-y quality and was barely above a whisper, but in the silence, it was deafening.

"What?" she asked, confused. "Killed who?" A suspicion started to rise up inside of her, but she refused to acknowledge it, couldn't believe it.

Spence's dead eyes seemed to stare right into her soul. "It's all your fault."

Annabelle was starting to get frightened again. "Spence, I-" she started, but stopped when something happened.

Spence was shaking all over, shaking so fast, she could barely see him anymore. Horrified, Annabelle watched as his skin peeled back, to reveal that it wasn't Spence at all. Before her stood the very man that had haunted her nightmares for a year now. It was Joshua Dunn, the man who had abducted Spence and her. "No, no, it can't be you, you're locked up," she whispered, more to try and reassure herself than to him.

"It's all your fault," Dunn said, his voice morphing from Spence's to that of a murderer. "Your little boy is dead, and it's all your fault," he taunted, cocking his head in some sick imitation of innocence.

Annabelle strained against her bonds, panic rising in her throat. "You're lying. You can't be here, this is a dream, this can't be real!" she screeched, closing her eyes against the reality before her.

"Your fault." He laughed hauntingly. "You thought you could play at being a mom? You can't even take care of yourself. You're as insane as I am! I mean, you've fallen for the man who raped you? And people say I'm crazy!"

"No, no, no, no, no, no," Annabelle whispered to herself, straining against her bonds as much as she could. "This isn't real, you're not here." It was almost a mantra.

"Even if it's not real. You know I'm not lying. You can't protect that little boy from me, or from anyone. He's going to die, and it will be all your fault!" he said gleefully. Another beam of light showed up a few yards to her right. Matthew was playing with the bunny JJ had given him, putting one of the ears in his mouth. He seemed unconcerned as Dunn closed in on him.

"Get away from him!" Annabelle screamed as Dunn picked Matthew up.

"Nothing you can do," he whispered, holding her son close. His free hand crept up to Matthew's neck as the toddler kept sucking on the rabbit's ear, completely unconcerned.

"No!" she screamed. The chains at her right hand were getting looser, just a little while longer and she'd have one had free.

"Itsy bitsy spider…" Dunn whispered, pressing his lips to Matthew's scalp. The child looked up at her then. "Mama?" he said, his voice clear and almost angelic, eyes wide and trusting.

"It's okay, baby, mama's here," she said, finally freeing one hand. She worked furiously to get her other hand free.

"Got washed away by rain," Dunn whispered, and with a quick flick of his wrist, broke Matthew's neck.

/*/

She screamed. Vaguely, she was aware that she was sitting up in her bed in her apartment, and that her feet and left hand were tangled in the sheets, but all she could see was Joshua Dunn snapping her son's neck.

Spence burst through the door, eyes wide and frantic, looking for danger, before settling on her.

Annabelle's throat hurt. She must've kept screaming then. She couldn't hear it anymore, could only hear the sick snap of bones being disconnected. Could only smell the damp darkness she'd been trapped in, inside her dream.

"Annabelle!" Spence shouted, rushing over to the bed and grabbing her shoulders. "Annabelle! You're right here, I'm here, you're safe!"

She sucked in panicked breaths, but she wasn't screaming anymore. "Ma- Mathew!" she shouted, unable to calm her racing heart.

She'd managed to untangle her other hand, but fisted her hands in the sheets. It was all she could do not to start screaming again.

"He's fine, he's alright, just startled," Spence said. She looked at him, but couldn't really see him. "Anna!" he shouted, moving his hands to her cheeks, forcing her to fix her attention on him.

She finally saw him, was finally able to see something other than that horrific image. "S… Spence?" she whispered hoarsely. Her throat hurt.

"I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere!"

Panic started to rise inside of her again. "Matthew!" she called out.

"He's okay!" Spence said, moving from the bed to pick up the wailing child from his crib. Annabelle jumped out of the bed and hurriedly took her son from his arms, needing to make sure that he was really okay.

"It was just a nightmare," Spence said, wrapping her and Matthew in a hug. Annabelle buried her face in his neck, happy that he was shielding them from the world.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "It was just so real…"

"Shh, it's alright, I'm here, Matthew's here, we're all alright," he whispered back.

Matthew calmed down somewhat, but didn't stop fussing. Annabelle stepped back from the embrace and glanced at the clock. 5:30am, he needed to be fed. "He's probably hungry," she muttered, and cleared her throat. It still hurt.

"I'll get you a glass of water," Spence said, slipping out of the room quietly. Annabelle fed Matthew, knowing that Spence was probably staying away until she was finished.

The baby fell asleep again soon enough, and Spence entered the room with a glass of tea and an aspirin in his hand. Annabelle looked at him gratefully as she put her son back to bed. She couldn't help but let her fingers linger on his neck, though. It had seemed to real…

"Thanks, Spence."

He just smiled and helped her back into the bed. Having nowhere else to sit, he perched on the side of the bed. He looked a bit silly, sitting there so rigidly. He was probably hyper aware of the fact that neither of them were wearing very many clothes and that this was her bedroom.

"It was just a nightmare. I dreamt that… That he killed… that he killed Matthew," she managed to say, suppressing a sob.

Spence reached out and captured her hand in his. "I'm sorry. But you have to know, I'd never let anything happen to him. Or to you," he said, smiling softly at her.

Annabelle returned it, sinking back into her pillows. "I know. Thanks."

Spence stood up to head back to the living room, but Annabelle stopped him. "Spence!" There must've been some panic in her voice, because he rushed straight back to the bed, concern written all over his face.

"I just… I don't want to be alone. Could you… stay with me?" she asked in a small voice. She hated being this weak, being afraid of the dark corners of her room just because of a stupid nightmare, but she couldn't stand the thought of having to go back to sleep on her own.

Spence internally debated the question for all of two seconds, before nodding. Annabelle scooted over to make room. He turned off the light he'd turned on when he'd barged in, and slipped under the covers. "I'm sorry I woke you up," she whispered into the dark, searching for his hand under the covers.

"It's okay. I was having trouble sleeping, too."

She found her target and entwined their fingers. "Thanks for staying with me."

"Always."

She drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

/*/

A/N: Sorry for the sucky ending. I hope the length of the chapter made up for my leave of absence (a little bit?). I've been completely obsessed with Arrow and the Flash lately, so I'm sorry for not writing as much as I should.

I have absolutely no plans for the near future of this fic (in the long run, sure, right now? Not so much...), so don't expect another update anytime soon. I need to figure out what I want to do with this.

Also, thanks so much for all the review, you guys are so awesome! I can't believe the amount of response I got for the last chapter, I thought you'd all hate me for it. I hope this chapter made up for it if you did feel that way.

Please leave a review and tell me what you think! It might help me figure out where I need to go with this (and might get you guys an update sooner!).