Michael ? (Deb/Jing-Mei's) Baby
Age 12
It's mother's day. I'm sitting here writing a mother's day card to my mom, I mean my biological one.
I'm adopted. My mom (when I say mom, I mean my adopted mother) has me write a mother's day card to my biological mother every year.
I asked my parents why my biological mom gave me up, once. They didn't know. So my parents called her, and she wrote me a letter explaining it when I was nine. Here's the letter:
Dear Michael,
I love the pictures I get of you. You are quite grown up.
I love you with all my heart. Your parents told me that you are wondering why I put you up for adoption.
I was irresponsible with my love life. I had a one night stand with a man, and ended up pregnant with you. I'm not sorry I had you, but if I had you when I was in a committed relationship, I would have been happier.
It was very hard for me to give you up, but I know I did the right thing. Now you are in a loving home with parents that can support and take care of you, and commit the time to a child.
I'm a doctor, so I couldn't give you any of that. I work ridiculous hours, and don't make enough money to support a child. I know I could love you though, but that isn't enough.
Your ethnicity matches your family's. I am Asian (Chinese) and your biological father is African American.
In case you are wondering about siblings, you will soon have a half-sister named Lucille Adriana Carter.
So you understand why I am able to keep Lucy, I need to tell you that I am now married to another doctor, so with our income and usually alternate hours, we are able to have a baby now.
I'll send you a picture of Lucy when she is born, which should be in another three weeks.
Don't come looking for me. Your family is in Portland. Think of me as a distant aunt or something.
I'll always love you Michael.
Love,
Jing-Mei Chen
I cried when I read that letter. She's right though. My family is here.
I would like to see my sister though. I've always wanted a little brother, but a sister will do. I just want to, I don't know, hold her for a few minutes.
I'm not sure I want to see my mother though. I mean, I respect and love her for her decision. She could have easily kept me, and I could have grown up miserably. I just think that it would be so awkward.
My father though, I never want to see. Even though my biological mother didn't tell me, she told my parents.
When I was eight, I asked my parents why I never wrote a father's day card to him, and they told me what happened. He didn't want me. He wasn't willing to support me if my biological mom kept me.
I don't care. My parents can't have children, so adopting is the only thing they can do. My biological mom told me in a postcard once to look at adoption as a blessing. People that can have children give those who can a gift. That's how I like to look at adoption.
Sometimes I wonder if I look like my biological parents. My mom says that she'll show me a picture of my biological mother one day. I won't nag her to. I know it must be hard for her to answer those questions about my "real" mother.
My dad on the other hand, is very open about it. He tries to make sure that all of my questions are answered. There are just some things that he can't get answers to though.
I love my parents. I love my biological mother too. I'm a little scared to see her now, but maybe someday.
Age 12
It's mother's day. I'm sitting here writing a mother's day card to my mom, I mean my biological one.
I'm adopted. My mom (when I say mom, I mean my adopted mother) has me write a mother's day card to my biological mother every year.
I asked my parents why my biological mom gave me up, once. They didn't know. So my parents called her, and she wrote me a letter explaining it when I was nine. Here's the letter:
Dear Michael,
I love the pictures I get of you. You are quite grown up.
I love you with all my heart. Your parents told me that you are wondering why I put you up for adoption.
I was irresponsible with my love life. I had a one night stand with a man, and ended up pregnant with you. I'm not sorry I had you, but if I had you when I was in a committed relationship, I would have been happier.
It was very hard for me to give you up, but I know I did the right thing. Now you are in a loving home with parents that can support and take care of you, and commit the time to a child.
I'm a doctor, so I couldn't give you any of that. I work ridiculous hours, and don't make enough money to support a child. I know I could love you though, but that isn't enough.
Your ethnicity matches your family's. I am Asian (Chinese) and your biological father is African American.
In case you are wondering about siblings, you will soon have a half-sister named Lucille Adriana Carter.
So you understand why I am able to keep Lucy, I need to tell you that I am now married to another doctor, so with our income and usually alternate hours, we are able to have a baby now.
I'll send you a picture of Lucy when she is born, which should be in another three weeks.
Don't come looking for me. Your family is in Portland. Think of me as a distant aunt or something.
I'll always love you Michael.
Love,
Jing-Mei Chen
I cried when I read that letter. She's right though. My family is here.
I would like to see my sister though. I've always wanted a little brother, but a sister will do. I just want to, I don't know, hold her for a few minutes.
I'm not sure I want to see my mother though. I mean, I respect and love her for her decision. She could have easily kept me, and I could have grown up miserably. I just think that it would be so awkward.
My father though, I never want to see. Even though my biological mother didn't tell me, she told my parents.
When I was eight, I asked my parents why I never wrote a father's day card to him, and they told me what happened. He didn't want me. He wasn't willing to support me if my biological mom kept me.
I don't care. My parents can't have children, so adopting is the only thing they can do. My biological mom told me in a postcard once to look at adoption as a blessing. People that can have children give those who can a gift. That's how I like to look at adoption.
Sometimes I wonder if I look like my biological parents. My mom says that she'll show me a picture of my biological mother one day. I won't nag her to. I know it must be hard for her to answer those questions about my "real" mother.
My dad on the other hand, is very open about it. He tries to make sure that all of my questions are answered. There are just some things that he can't get answers to though.
I love my parents. I love my biological mother too. I'm a little scared to see her now, but maybe someday.