The next few days were uneventful, and they crawled by at a snail's pace. So far, I had been successful in not letting a single word leak out about my most recent alley tom escapade, but I hadn't been able to think about much else – it was like a parasite feeding on my mind, and it was all I could do to stay quiet and keep my thoughts to myself. I tried to look for distractions in my everyday life to avoid the temptation to say anything, because I knew that once I said one thing about it, the rest was sure to come spilling out with it. Fortunately, distractions were generally plentiful around the junkyard. I'd been spending more and more time with Demeter and even with Munkustrap, as soon as the latter learned to hold his tongue about replacing me whenever I was within earshot, and less time with my parents. I actively tried to steer clear of my father in particular, knowing that my new wealth of knowledge would be especially difficult to keep secret from him. This proved to be an easy task, however, as he seemed to be avoiding me as much as I was him.

And then, of course, there was the news that was the latest talk of the junkyard.

It had been a few days since my little adventure when our parents called Munkustrap and me into the den, forcing us to leave Demeter waiting curiously just outside. From the moment I saw the way they were sitting together bearing the look of news on their faces, I froze. This had happened to me before; I knew what was coming.

"What is it?" Munkustrap asked, innocent and clueless. I wondered if there was any way I could sneak back out of the den without anyone noticing.

Epellina glanced up at Deuteronomy with a small smile; he gave a single nod, and there was a glint of something like affection in his eyes. With a soft purr, our mother looked down at both of us and announced, "There are going to be three of you soon . . . I'm going to have another kitten."

The look on my face and the look on Munkustrap's were complete opposites. His eyes lit up and he grinned widely; despite having prepared myself to hear those words of doom, I was horrified.

"Isn't that exciting?" Mother prompted lovingly.

Munkustrap nodded rapidly. "Yes!" he squeaked. "Now I'm gonna be a big brother! This is great, isn't it, Mac?"

"No," I growled. I saw Mother's face fall, but I could tell that she understood. One little sibling had been enough for me. And as I stared mutinously up at our parents, I suddenly recalled what I'd seen upon my return from the alley those few nights ago. I didn't know much about where kittens came from, but I knew enough. And suddenly, it clicked. Before anyone else had a chance to speak, I deadpanned, "It just means they had sex. What's so great about that?" Father scowled at me as the word sex came out of my mouth; I scowled back.

Munkustrap stared at me like I'd sprouted another head. "Huh?" he asked, looking more confused than he should have. "What's that mean?"

"You don't need to know that yet, sweetie," Mother hastily interjected after exchanging a glance with Deuteronomy, who I noticed wasn't saying a word. "All that matters is that right now, there's a tiny kitten growing inside of me. You can't tell right now, but I'm going to start to look like Grizabella soon." She offered an obviously false smile.

Munkustrap still wasn't appeased. "But I want to know," he insisted. "And if you can't tell, then how do you know the kitten is there? Where did it come from?"

I took it upon myself to clarify. "It came from Dad's—"

"That's enough," Deuteronomy interrupted, speaking up for the first time. He then lifted my brother into his lap and declared, "I will explain. You may go, Macavity." He aimed a warning glance in my direction.

I glared at him, but Mother nodded her agreement. "I think there's someone waiting for you outside," she reminded me.

My ears drooped, but I obediently turned around and trudged out of the den, growling under my breath. As I left, I heard Deuteronomy's voice beginning, "You see, my son, when a tom and a queen love each other very much . . ."

Yeah, right. I knew what I'd seen that night, and as far as I could tell, love hadn't had anything to do with it.

I found Demeter right where we'd left her. Upon seeing me, her ears flicked up, and an anxious gleam entered her eyes. "What did your parents want?" she asked me in a rush. "You're not in trouble again, are you?"

I glared at the ground. "No," I mumbled. "Worse. Mum's having another kitten."

Demeter stared at me. "Worse? Mac, that's great! How is that worse than being in trouble? Your dad is right scary when he's angry—"

I suddenly looked up and fixed my glare on her, causing her to take a step backwards, and her babbling promptly ended with a little squeak. She looked at me with wide eyes. "Look what just one little brother did to me!" I snapped. "Ever since Munkustrap was born, everything I do has been a mistake in Dad's eyes. If that's what happens because of one little sibling, what's going to happen when I have two? What else can Dad take away from me?"

Shocked into silence, Demeter regarded me with her ears pinned back. I sat on the ground with a huff and buried my face in my paws. "Where did I go wrong, Deme?" I asked, more quietly now. "I know I did something I shouldn't have, but I didn't know any better. What did I do to make Dad hate me so much?"

After a brief pause, Demeter cautiously sat down by me. "I'm sorry, Mac," she mewed. Empty words. The same ones everyone uses when they know they ought to say something, but don't know what. "But I don't think the problem is with you," she continued. "I think it's with him. I think he's hiding something. There has to be some other reason he did what he did."

I picked up my head and looked at her. Of course my father was hiding something – it was what he was hiding that was bothering me. I'd been turning what I'd learned from the alley toms over and over in my mind, but I hadn't been able to make anything of it, except that Deuteronomy must have had something to do with driving those toms out into the alleys. That information alone wasn't enough. I wasn't getting anywhere on my own, but perhaps two minds were better than one. If I had to tell someone what I knew, Demeter would undoubtedly be the best choice. "Yeah . . ." I answered. "I think he is too, but I just don't know what." I glanced around and lowered my voice. "Deme . . . can I tell you something?"

She blinked curiously at me. "Sure," she mewed, shrugging one shoulder. "What is it?"

I opened my mouth, but before anything could come out of it, a set of young pawsteps scampering toward us announced my brother's arrival. He was still grinning happily without a shade of worry in his eyes; judging by the fact that he didn't seem visibly traumatized, I guessed that our parents had fed him the same old rubbish about the Everlasting Cat sending kittens that they had to me all that time ago. "I'm back!" he announced brightly. "Did Mac tell you the news, Demmy?"

Demeter glanced at me, and I was relieved to see that there was an understanding look on her face. Then she looked at Munkustrap and put on a smile for him. "Yes, he did," she purred. "It's wonderful news. I bet you're excited."

"I am!" he confirmed. His grin was so wide by now that I feared his face might crack right in half. "I can't wait to be a big brother!" He was reminding me so much of myself that I almost felt sick. I, too, had been this excited over a new kitten once, but then becoming a big brother had ruined my life. I didn't think I could bear to watch the same thing happen to him.

I didn't get to empty my thoughts to Demeter that day with Munkustrap bouncing along after us like a Pollicle puppy. Even though we'd only learned about it that afternoon, I was thoroughly sick of hearing about the new kitten by the time evening fell. The next couple of days were a blur, finding me caught up in a whirlwind of thoughts buzzing around in my skull like flies around a rotting carcass. I couldn't get the information I had gleaned from the alley toms off my mind. That, and the new implications about my father that came with it, and now the new kitten on top of everything . . . it made my head hurt to think about it all. Munkustrap was even more excitable than usual, and it rubbed off on Demeter. I still wanted to talk to her, but I needed to be alone with her to do so. I was beginning to feel as though I might explode if I kept it all to myself any longer. I needed some distraction, some escape . . .

Finally, after two long, horrible days, a distraction came. A very tiny one, blind and deaf and covered in downy scarlet fur.

It was the middle of the day when Grizabella went into labor. The kitten certainly took its time; it was approaching evening by the time the ordeal was over. But, finally, Demeter burst out of her den and ran over to where Munkustrap and I, in a pitiful attempt to keep ourselves occupied, had been playing the same game of "don't-let-the-feather-touch-the-ground" for hours. "Mac! Munky!" she shouted, grinning ear-to-ear. "Come see my new sister!"

The feather drifted to the ground as Munkustrap froze with one paw half-raised. I couldn't tell who was happiest: Demeter to have a sister, Munkustrap to see the kitten, or me that the mind-numbing game was finally over. But as my brother instantly sped off, I grinned in spite of myself and let Demeter grab my paw and drag me into the den with her.

The scene was familiar from when Munkustrap had been born: there was the same milky scent in the air, and the whole room seemed to radiate warmth. Grizabella was laying splayed out on her side, looking tired and disheveled and unlike her usual glamorous self. Between her front paws was a tiny ball of fuzz, its still-wet fur drying in spikes as its mother licked it clean. The kitten was a saucy scarlet color with black flecks. It squirmed around under Grizabella's tongue, revealing a pale face and white chest just like Demeter's, and squeaky little mewls constantly emitted from it. Demeter stared at the kitten with pride glowing in her eyes; I remained neutral. I didn't know what I'd expected, but there was nothing particularly extraordinary about this. If you'd seen one newborn kitten, I decided, you'd seen them all.

Aside from the kitten's mewling, Munkustrap was the first one to break the silence. "She's so . . . little," he breathed, his eyes wide with wonder and fascination. "What's her name?"

"Bombalurina," Grizabella answered dully. She seemed remarkably unenthusiastic for someone who'd just brought a new kitten into the world.

"I helped pick her name out," Demeter announced proudly. "Isn't she so cute?"

I didn't answer. To my untrained eyes, a newborn kitten was about as "cute" as an alligator.

Munkustrap just stared at the kitten. "Wow," he whispered, as if afraid to disturb her. "Was I ever this small, Mac?"

"Yes, I answered with a nod. "Yes, you were." I couldn't help but smirk as I recalled my first words upon seeing my brother for the first time: It looks like a rat!

"Wow," he repeated, and the den lapsed into silence as Grizabella finished licking the kitten, which promptly fell asleep.

Demeter grinned at Munkustrap, who was still staring at the tiny red ball of fuzz. "You're gonna have a new little sibling just like her soon," she reminded him.

My brother beamed. "Yeah," he agreed. "I'm gonna have a new brother or sister and it's gonna be little and tiny just like this!"

I grimaced. I didn't want to hear this all over again. With a respectful nod to Grizabella and a mumbled "Congratulations", I hastily excused myself from the room.

Once outside, I was left alone with my thoughts all over again. I settled down in a corner of the junkyard, sitting with my back turned on the clearing and all of its inhabitants. After devoting a few seconds to staring out at the trees beyond the fence that peeked over the rolling heaps of garbage that caged me in, I hunched over with a heavy sigh. There was a chill in the air, foreshadowing the coming winter; my pelt was beginning to feel thicker as it grew out against the approaching cold. Yet even without it, I doubted I'd feel the cold much at all, so much had my thoughts taken control of me. Caged by my home and imprisoned by my mind – what a fine young tom I was shaping up to be.

It wasn't long before I became aware of the murmur of visitors making the sacred pilgrimage to see the new kitten in Grizabella's den. It quickly faded into nothing more than white noise, however, a mere soundtrack to my thoughts. Not a single cat noticed me, the once-adored son of Old Deuteronomy. I was a good apple with a rotten inside; all it had taken was the alley toms to take the first bite to expose me. I supposed it was fitting – like father, like son.

I don't know exactly how long we sat out there, my thoughts and I. I just knew that the sun was beginning its descent when I left Grizabella's den and nearly touching the horizon by the time a cat – luckily, the only cat I would have wanted to see – finally approached me.

"Mac?" Demeter quietly mewed as she sat down next to me. "Are you okay?" She had stopped calling me "Maccy" of late in favor of calling my brother "Munky". Although I despised being called "Maccy", when she said it I didn't mind. I rather missed it, in fact, but I didn't want to bring it to attention.

"Yes," I answered mechanically, but when I realized that it wasn't the least bit true, I attempted to amend it. "Er – no. Kind of. Not really – I don't know."

I could feel her soft gaze on me, but I didn't look at her. "What's wrong?" she asked with audible concern in her voice.

I hung my head. "Everything," I answered after a moment. "Nothing's been going right for me. I've got so much on my mind and I can't get away from it. I feel like I'm not even in control of my own life anymore."

She scooted closer to me, and I felt her fur brush mine. "What's on your mind?" she pressed. "Tell me, Mac. I don't like seeing you this way."

I lifted my head back up and looked at her. The contour of her delicately maturing face was outlined in pale orange and her eyes were like two pools of clear blue sky standing out against the sunset. She smiled at me with that soft little smile that made the cool evening air seem warm, and suddenly I couldn't help but smile back. I'd wanted – no, needed this opportunity for days, but I'd as good as given up on it and let my mind take me prisoner. But now it was here again. We were alone, and the rest of the tribe was in Demeter's den. There was no one to interrupt us this time. "All right," I agreed. "But you have to promise me you won't breathe a word to anyone else."

She looked at me and I looked at her. Suddenly, I felt something warm rest on top of my paw on the ground and realized it was hers. "I promise," she mewed. "You can trust me."

When we were kittens, an action like that would have caused us to shy away from each other in horror and disgust. But now it was different, just like everything else was different. And though most of what was different now had changed for the worse, this was one thing I didn't mind. So I kept my paw where it was, and so did she. Finally, I began. "You remember when I told you about the time I left the junkyard and found those alley toms?" She nodded, her eyes suddenly lighting up, and I continued: "I never did get to tell you what they told me that night. They said that a long time ago, Dad 'taught them their proper place'. I didn't know what that meant, but they drove me away before I could find out." I paused and took a breath to let that much sink in before I went on. "Well, a few nights ago . . . I went back. I don't know why. I guess I just wanted to know more. I found those toms again, and I tried to ask them about what they'd told me. And I did learn more, but still not enough. I've spent the past few days trying to figure it out, but I'm not getting anywhere fast." My eyes narrowed slightly. "It's the leader of those toms . . ." I reflected coldly. "He doesn't want me to know whatever it is that I'm trying to find out. But I was so damn close! I almost had it, but just before they could tell me the most important part, the leader chased me away and I still don't know—"

Demeter's paw lightly squeezed mine. She was shushing me, and I realized I had been starting to shout. "Ssh, ssh," she urged me. "Calm down, Mac. It's okay." Once I obeyed, she asked, "What did you find out?" To my relief and faint surprise, she seemed genuinely intrigued by my story and looked eager to learn more.

I collected myself with a sigh and answered, "They told me they used to be a tribe just like us. But then they had to reach out to the Jellicles for help, I guess, and then . . . something happened and they had to leave. They were forced out. That's all I know. They didn't tell me what it was that happened, but—"

"Your dad must've driven them out!" Demeter burst out, her eyes wide and uncharacteristically wild with excitement.

I sighed again and shook my head. "I've already figured that out," I muttered. "He 'taught them their proper place'. But there are still pieces of the story missing. Why did he drive them out? Were they doing something wrong? Why did they have to come to our tribe for help in the first place? I know something bad happened and it had to do with Dad, but there's so much else that I don't know that's keeping me from the real truth, which is what I'm after."

Demeter blinked. There was a frown fixed on her face as she processed all of the new information. "Well . . . how do you know that whatever happened with your dad was bad?" she reasoned. "It might not be like you think it is. The toms might've made it sound bad from their point of view, but all stories have two sides."

Yes, my dear, they certainly do. "That's not all," I insisted, shaking my head. "I tried talking to Dad about it the next day, but as soon as I mentioned the alley toms, he froze up and started snapping at me. He wouldn't say anything about it. And also . . . the real reason I went back. A few nights ago, I overheard my parents talking about what I did. Dad mentioned a 'dark time in the Jellicles' history', and then he said–" I gulped – "he said that the real reason I can never be leader is because I know too much. That's when I knew I needed to go back. Think about it, Deme – if this was something good that happened to the tribe, don't you think we would've heard about it before? It's like you said a couple days ago. Dad's hiding something, and now he knows that I know about it. That's why you can't tell this to anyone. It's a secret, and even if I haven't figured all of it out yet, he'll kill me if he finds out I told you."

"Our secret," Demeter paraphrased, a grin on her face like the grin a kitten gets when he tells a lie and gets away with it. "I like the sound of that. And I'll help you figure it out, Mac. It's like a big mystery." Her eyes shone as she spoke, so wide, so innocent, so perfectly blue. I suddenly found it hard to focus on anything else.

"Do you think you'll go back to the alley toms again?" she suddenly asked, looking at me with a confused frown. I blinked and realized that several seconds had lapsed in silence because I had been staring at her.

"I don't know," I sighed once I snapped out of my trance. "I don't know how much more I'd be able to learn from them as long as that leader of theirs is still there. It's a damned awful feeling when you're so close to having something and then lose it just like that."

"Oh," she murmured. I could tell that she didn't understand, but at least she was trying. She leaned against me the slightest bit and laid her head on my shoulder. "Well, alley toms or not, we can figure this out. I know we can, Maccy. Together."

I gazed down at her, and she lifted her head to gaze back up at me. That smile was making my heart race a mile a minute. "Promise . . .?" I prompted, a tiny purr forcing its way out of my throat.

"Promise," she answered, and only when I noticed her leaning in did I realize that I was doing the same. It was just like the last time, but now Grizabella couldn't stop us. I closed my eyes and our two purrs became one as her lips brushed mine . . .

. . . And then the sudden call of "Hey, Demmy!" made us jerk away from each other. We turned around to see Munkustrap running toward us; my purr quickly deepened into a growl, and my eyes narrowed at him.

"Your mum's wondering where you are," my brother told Demeter, frustratingly clueless about what he'd just interrupted. "She told me to come find you and bring you back inside, because it's getting late and—" He stopped with a startled jump when he noticed me glaring at him. I was practically seething by now. A damned awful feeling it was indeed.

Demeter glanced at me and ducked her ears apologetically. "I'm coming," she muttered, her voice completely emotionless. Her paw abandoned mine, and she stood and followed Munkustrap away without another word. Suddenly, the evening air felt cool again, and again I was alone in my cage with my thoughts. "Bloody hell," I hissed to myself, and hid my face in my paws.

The sound of rapid pawsteps pattering up behind me caught my attention. I glanced up, and my sour mood instantly evaporated as Demeter came to a stop and crouched down at the level of my face. Before I had time to speak or even process what was going on, she leaned right in and pressed her lips to mine.

It lasted one single moment that was at once as long as forever and infinitesimally short, and in that moment nothing existed but the two of us. It was rushed and, as first kisses are, sloppy and awkward and absolutely perfect.

When the moment ended – and the kiss with it – Demeter looked at me just long enough for her to smile and me to smile back before she turned and hurried away again. But this time the warmth lingered and the cage didn't feel so restricting. I may have been a bad apple, but at least one cat was able to look past the rotting part and appreciate what good fruit was left at the core.

But, as they say, it only takes one bad apple to spoil a bunch.