Warning: This chapter concerns delicate subject matter. Though it is not explicit, it may be unsuitable for some readers. Please use discretion.
Thank you RandomPonyWriter for your help and inspiration. This chapter would not have come together without your support and thoughtful criticism. Any grammatical errors are my own.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything that links back to the J.K. Rowling Universe.
The game had been disastrous. If not for Harry, Gryffindor wouldn't have stood a chance. As it was, Hermione and Severus found themselves post-match back in his office, a fact which Severus found rather surprising. He had not anticipated the angry prefect returning as previously arranged considering the way in which their impromptu meeting had ended.
But then she started speaking, and it was if Hermione Granger wasn't in the room, but rather an automaton version of the spirited and dedicated Order member. Severus didn't know which was worse, a curious and overly loquacious cub or a non-responsive husk. It was as if she had placed her entire personality behind her Occlumency walls in order to address the issues found in her work.
There was no doubt she had put much effort into the findings that were presented to him, but the vibrancy that Severus was used was gone, almost as if it had never existed in the first place.
He was considering the merits of verbally eviscerating the girl to get a rise out of her when suddenly she stumbled over her words. What is it she had been saying? Severus wondered.
"…I didn't mean to indicate you were keeping me in the dark, it's just there seems to be this large piece of the puzzle missing, and my mind keeps going back to Tom's near invinciblility. I just can't wrap my mind around how he is able to not just survive but stand strong against a barrage of curses as you've described and well, if there is any way to kill him…" She trailed off miserably as she revealed her emotions for the first time that afternoon.
Severus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in irritation as he considered her question. He had his suspicions, but they had never been confirmed by Albus, as the Order's general considered it too great a risk to allow Severus to possess such information. He was, after all, in the presence of the Dark Lord on a regular basis, and Occlumency only went so far…
"You will need to…address those issues with the headmaster," Severus finally responded softly.
Hermione looked at Professor Snape appraisingly. He appeared subdued and withdrawn, and she furrowed her brow in consideration. "He does not trust you with the information?" she asked delicately, forgetting herself in the moment and allowing her frame to lose the rigidity that she used to keep her mind on high alert.
"It is never wise to place all one's eggs in one basket, Miss Granger," Severus intoned dully. "I possess a great number of the Order's secrets, but the headmaster must know when to keep me in the dark. This is one of those situations," he further elaborated.
"I see. It is as you said; we are all merely tools the headmaster uses to his best advantage," Hermione interpreted cynically.
"Indeed."
After that, things between Hermione and Severus became slightly more comfortable as they both settled into the cerebral exercise required of high Arithmancy. Severus recognized the silent truce for what it was; she would act professionally if he refrained from returning to their earlier point of contention. And while it rankled the potions master to no end, he realized that if he ever wanted the young Gryffindor's trust, he would need to earn it.
Thus he kept his questions to himself, maintaining the impersonal atmosphere Hermione preferred.
Severus had considered going to Albus with his concerns but quickly discarded that possibility as he appraised the young Gryffindor's reticence. He doubted she would be any more inclined to disclose her secrets to the headmaster if she had built her Occlumency shields in order to protect herself from skilled Legillimency in the first place. No, it would only serve to alienate her completely, and if his suspicions were correct, she would eventually need help from someone.
Heaven forbid she turn to the mindless-duo for any sort of assistance, Severus thought disdainfully.
Though how it came to be that Severus found himself willingly venturing into the life of one of Minerva's students was beyond him. He rarely exhibited such concern over his own snakes, and those he did take an interest in were children of his Death Eater cohorts. No, Severus did not attempt to get to know his Slytherins, or anyone for that matter, unless it suited the spy-games he was forced to play out of obligation to Albus. But for whatever indiscernible reason, Hermione Granger had vaulted past his walls, his protections and traps, insinuating herself in his mind like a bad song that he couldn't forget, though how he wished he could.
He just hoped that his tactical retreat would bear fruit sooner rather than later. Severus didn't relish the thought of having to give the impetuous Gryffindor any more consideration than he had already.
It was nearing curfew when the dungeon bound pair finally surfaced; their minds ablaze with probabilities and logarithms that would confuse most wizards in their intricacy. Their work over the last several hours was incomplete, but as the calculations grew and began to depend on other aspects of the matrix, Severus realized that it would be some time yet before their work would bear any viable fruit.
The easy victories she had presented Albus and Severus early on were clearly not so easily won after all. In a sense, Severus couldn't quite believe that so much effort had already been expended on this work already, as Hermione's information had been incomplete at best, but then he considered the intuitive nature she began to demonstrate, and he understood that while she could not claim insider knowledge, she was able to make several correct assumptions that allowed her to produce the level of work that she had presented the headmaster and his spy within the Death Eaters that fateful September evening.
However impressed he was then, now her work only served to illuminate the masks that she wore around the school with her friends and the other professors. No one aside from those who were present at her induction knew of her elevated status yet, as Albus did not wish to create bedlam within the Order that would surely be unleashed by Molly and Minerva should they ever find out about the young Gryffindor prematurely, but it was easy to see that they would need her in the coming months.
Professor Vector, as loyal to the headmaster as any of the other professors, did not wish to cast her hat on either side of the divide. The Ministry's idiocy forced those who would otherwise join in the fight to rethink their stance as they considered the reality they faced. And because Fudge ardently refused to believe and endorse Potter and Albus's claims, and indeed Severus's as well, it was difficult to recruit able witches and wizards for the war that was coming as indisputably as the sun rose each day.
It was a rare boon for the Order to find any tactical advantage in the current climate, and Severus was able to, in the safety of his mind, admit that Miss Granger was an asset. Once the matrix was working well enough, the Order could begin to fight in earnest, relieving some of the stress that Albus experienced when trying to strategize like a Slytherin.
Of course they had to get the matrix to work, thus Severus did not complain about the long hours he spent in the young Gryffindor's company, instead focusing his considerable intellect on the task at hand. When he did finally realize the time, Severus suggested a break, calling a house elf to bring them tea and sandwiches before Hermione could object.
"Sir, this is entirely unnecessary. It is getting late and I should-"
"Nonsense. A light meal after our mental exertion will only serve you good," Severus cut in.
The house elf had returned with a delicate tea service, replete with tiny sandwiches and chocolate biscuits. Hermione looked longingly at the food, her hunger making itself known, but once more opened her mouth to object. Now that their business for the day had concluded, Hermione was incredibly uncomfortable. She knew that her dour potion's professor's curiosity still burned over their earlier conversation, and she knew that she would overreact. And besides, to even think of the reasons why she had needed his help…she shuddered lightly, her hunger dissipating.
"I will not ask you anything of a personal nature, Miss Granger," Severus intoned quietly, seeing her body react to some unknown disturbance.
"It does not matter, Professor, as I have lost my appetite," Hermione responded just as quietly.
And once more Severus burned with the obvious questions. Who did this to you? Why won't you speak out? But he refrained.
"Here, take these with you then," Severus conjured a linen cloth and wrapped a few of the sandwiches and biscuits inside, handing the food to his fellow Order member and student. She accepted the repast silently, standing and walking to the door without outward affect.
"Thank you," she whispered almost too quietly for Severus to hear before slipping out into the corridor, the thickness of her voice betraying her reaction to his simple act of kindness.
"What ever am I going to do with you?" Severus whispered to the closed door.
Hermione spent that night awake in her dorm room, the curtains of her four-poster drawn tightly and warded against intrusion. She stared by wand-light at the words her father had written, wondering what he could possibly mean.
I have a wonderful surprise for you, my dear child…I cannot wait to see your reaction….there is NOTHING I wouldn't do for you my darling…
A grimace of hate and fear marred Hermione's pinched features as she tried to divine what surprise her father could have in store for his only daughter. Hermione remembered when she was a small child, wishing she could have a younger sibling to break the loneliness she had felt, a wish that died a few years later when she realized the kind of man her father was.
Hermione shuddered at the images that assaulted her mind's eye, trying to find purchase as her breathing became shallow and uneven. Panic flooded her entire body as she remembered how he came to her that first night, that fateful night ten years ago. How she had cried and pled with her father…her fear and anguish over his actions driving her insane. Cowering in terror as she listened to his threats, silently taking him in as he broke her, ripping her from the inside out.
Tears dripped from her chin, though she didn't seem to notice as the echo of pain continued. She had never felt such unadulterated fear in her entire life. Hermione had been utterly mortified then, wondering how her father could be the one to cause her so much pain. He was her dad, the man who helped raise her! He kept her fed and clothed and had introduced her to his love of reading. That he would hurt her so completely and irrevocably made Hermione scream silently. He took from her every last shred of safety, leaving her with nothing but sorrow and confusion.
He made her feel dirty, forcing her silence and obedience through harsh threats and painful pinches that she tried to hide from her mother. The abuse had begun just after Hermione started taking showers by herself. She had told her mum she was a big girl and didn't need any help. After John Granger began his systematic destruction of his only child, she never allowed her mother, or anyone else for that matter, to see her naked again.
And just as she had refused to seek help all those years ago, Hermione refused the olive branch Professor Snape had offered her the day after her world was once again turned upside down. She could manage, would manage until she left her parents, he father behind forever. Shame coursed through her as she thought on what she would have to do, but she knew that if she ever wanted any peace, she would need to act, and soon.
Hermione broke the news of her punishment to the boys during breakfast the day after their victory. Outraged and shocked, both Harry and Ron seemed willing to get up to no good in order to put Umbridge in her place, once and for all.
"Please, don't do anything rash," she begged them. "I need you both to help me now that I can't access the library, and Umbridge would only be too willing to diminish your rights as well in order to prove a point!"
"Mione!" Ron nearly yelled. "We all know how important the library is for you! She can't do this!"
"But she can," Hermione murmured. "Just like she banned you, Harry from Quidditch, she has the power to create and enforce any punishment for any conceivable offense. If we have any hope of passing this year, you both will need to be able to access the library in my stead, and unless you want me to go mad from this whole debacle, you will not act out, is that understood?" Both boys could hear Hermione's desperation by the way her tone turned rather demanding towards the end of her speech.
"Yes Hermione," both boys muttered sullenly.
"Good, now we all have studying to do, and I would like to get a good spot in the common room before it's too full." With her words still hanging in the air, she stood and glared at both boys until they followed her lead. Neither felt like studying, but the bleak mood of their bushy-haired friend made them more than willing to do as she said. After all, at least she could no longer drag them to the library for hours on end.
What no one from the infamous Golden Trio saw was their feared potions professor staring down the group, a sneer hiding his building concern for the only brain they seemed to possess.
A/N: I would like to once more thank my beta and partner-in-crime RandomPonyWriter for her support. This was such an intensely provocative moment in the story, which is why I express my hope that you will stick with me as we continue our journey. And as always...
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