Sorry guys, I said I would have the Alice chapter up next, but this story just makes me so...by the way I say yes to the marriage proposal and offer of friendship from the reviews I recently got. What's up?

So since I last talked to you guys I've read a few more chapters of Dick for Hire. Bella hasn't grown on me whatsoever, but she had her decent moments now and I'm usually able to stand her for longer periods of time until she says or does something super stupid.

To catch ya'll up, after having a rather hot session (or I'm assuming rather hot, I kinda skipped over all of it) in a courtyard, they went back inside to a gala being held in their honor for a case they worked on together. Really, the case smells fishy, but that's not the point.

Edward is a lone wolf all the way, and when at the gala the corrupt police force said that he and Bella said they should come on as partners permanently, he said no because,

1) That police force is corrupt as shit. I'm pretty sure the leader of their force and one cop is in on an old unsolved murder case.

And 2) He's more of a loner. He typically does his best work by himself, has been doing it successfully for years, and doesn't want a partner.

Or course Bella flips shit because she thinks it's personal even though even Forrest Gump would realize it's not, and challenges him to an idiotic competition in which they compete for the position he doesn't even want in the first place to see who can solve the most cases.

Let me remind you she's had this job maybe one fucking week.

This all got me riled up of course, but here's a part after they were done on the second case they had to compete on:

"Asshole!" She said loudly, but not screaming, at least I had that goin' for me.

She pulled her hand back to slap me but I caught it by the wrist, mid god damn air people. I'm a quick motherfucker.

She tried to pull out of my grasp, but I held on tighter, not letting her go. She looked like she wanted to pounce me, which, let's face it, that coulda been fun… and I almost fucking laughed at her.

I didn't, Jesus, I'm just sayin', it was hard not to laugh at her.

The look in her eyes was a questioning one. Kinda like 'hmmm, should I kiss him, or kill him?'

I was about to make the decision for her when her knee made contact with Eddy Jr. hard on the… well, you get my drift.

Fuck.

"Jesus, Swan."

Mother of… hell that hurt.

I bent down, letting the pain subside, and this time, she leaned down to my ear to whisper for me. "I told you, not… to fucking… man handle me."

Now, before he had been talking about how she dragged him into an elaborate lie in which she told Charlie and Jake that they were in a relationship, and joked (kinda, he really wants to) about when they were going to consummate the relationship and could he give her oral, so she responded with trying to slap him.

...

I'm sorry, I just have such a huge problem with double standards concerning male/female violence. I get that males are naturally stronger and bigger and all of that shit, but this is still bull.

She shouldn't be slapping him, or attempting too. It wasn't in any way necessary, it wasn't cute, it wasn't funny. She also shouldn't get mad at him when he stops her from hitting him, and retaliating by kneeing him in the balls.

I know, I know, with the whole kiss thing he was about to make the decision for her. I'll just say that every time we get into Bella's head, we learn that no matter what the fuck is happening she wants him to do something exactly like that, so it isn't like she wouldn't have given in within a millisecond. Is it right? Not really.

However with the whole violence thing, imagine instead it was written like this:

"Bitch!" He said loudly, but not yelling, at least I had that goin' for me.

He pulled his hand back to slap me but I caught it by the wrist, mid god damn air people. I'm a quick motherfucker.

He tried to pull out of my grasp, but I held on tighter, not letting him go. He looked like he wanted to pounce me, which, let's face it, that coulda been fun… and I almost fucking laughed at him.

I didn't, Jesus, I'm just sayin', it was hard not to laugh at him.

The look in his eyes was a questioning one. Kinda like 'hmmm, should I kiss her, or kill her?'

I was about to make the decision for his when his knee made contact with my gut, knocking the wind out of me.

Fuck.

"Jesus, Cullen."

Mother of… hell that hurt.

I bent down, letting the pain subside and catch my breath, and this time, he leaned down to my ear to whisper for me. "I told you, not…to fucking…man handle me."

If you didn't read that, go back and do it right now.

As you can see, things seem a lot worse when it's written like Bella is the one about to be slapped.

Fucking fucker...

Comment, questions, or concerns? Please leave them in a review. Unless this story (cough cough Bella cough) pisses me off again the next chapter for sure will be Alice.