So this is the chapter with the bit of drama, so hopefully you will go along with me here...it's not a lot, and it's over fairly quickly...and I'm sure you will be happy how it turns out at the end of the chapter.

Thanks again for the great reviews!

Chapter Ten - Is it Worth the Pain?

"Meredith…!" Izzie called out, "phone for you…" She stood at Meredith's bedroom door, after knocking on it repeatedly. "It's Derek…he says your cell phone must be turned off."

The door was flung open finally, and Meredith stood there, with her hands on her hips. She was wearing her old Dartmouth sweatshirt, and pajama pants, and her expression was ominous. "Damn right it's turned off! Just tell him to go to hell…" she muttered. "I don't want to talk to him!"

Izzie frowned, taking in the disheveled appearance, and were those red rimmed eyes from crying? "Sure, Mer…but I'm coming back here as soon as I hang up the phone."

"Whatever…just bring the ice cream with you, would you?" Meredith shut the door again, leaning against it tiredly. She rubbed her eyes, hating the scratchy feeling, knowing the puffiness was there. She needed a drink, or ice cream, or both…did that even make sense?

After a couple of minutes, the door opened again, and Izzie peeked inside. "Brought the fudge ripple…" She held up the container and two spoons. "What's wrong? I thought you and Derek were doing good…I mean, god…you've been spending all your time together, what the hell happened?"

"Ha…! Men are just too predictable sometimes, but I thought things were different…" Meredith sighed, and settled on the bed, sitting cross-legged and taking the container of ice cream. "It had been so amazing...and the sex was mind blowing…"

"So…?"

"I don't really want to talk about it…do we have tequila?"

Izzie raised one eyebrow. "This is Casa Grey…of course there's tequila."

"I want a drink, Iz…you told me you would have the tequila ready for the inevitable breakup…"

"Breakup?"

"Do I need to use smaller words, Izzie? You were right…"

"But why am I right?"

"Derek wasn't the guy for me, you were right…"

"I don't want to be right about that," Izzie murmured, trying to understand. "Can you tell me what happened?"

"Tequila first…"

"Fine…" Izzie headed for the kitchen to fetch the tequila, wondering what had brought this turn of events.

"Spill, Meredith…" Izzie told her, after a couple of shots were consumed. "You know I won't leave you alone until you tell me."

"Oh, well…you know I was off work yesterday…" Meredith fidgeted with the bottom hem of the sweatshirt. "I was doing a little shopping, and I was downtown…and I realized it was close to Derek's office. So I thought I'd stop in and surprise him for lunch, you know, but I went by this little restaurant with an outdoor patio. And he was there…with another woman..." She paused, taking another spoonful of ice cream. "She was gorgeous…red hair down her back, wearing this amazing suit that just screamed money…I'm going to kill him if I see him…!" She punched one of the pillows for effect.

"It could have been a client…?" Izzie offered, trying to help.

"He kissed her, Izzie…he was holding her hand, and then he kissed her…they looked very cozy, laughing and talking very intimately...it was like I didn't exist…" Meredith muttered. "After everything we did…he's seeing someone else…"

"That bastard…" Izzie said in agreement. "But I thought you didn't care…it's just about sex…otherwise why are you so mad?"

"I should've known better. You were right, I fall in love with the wrong guys, every time. I think with my heart, not my brain…I'm tired of getting emotionally beat up." She hugged the pillow against her abdomen. "I never want to get involved with anyone again…avoiding the pain is a good idea."

"Wait, Meredith…did you just say you're in love with Derek?"

"I don't want to admit it, but yes…god help me…" Meredith's eyes brimmed with tears again. "But I should hate his guts..."

"Then you need to talk to him. Get his side of the story," Izzie urged. "He called you a few times now, he's going to wonder why you're avoiding him."

"You tell him the next time he calls to go fuck her if he wants sex. I'm through…" Meredith murmured, with a little drunken hiccup. "More tequila please…"

"Okay…" Izzie poured another shot, knowing that the combination of alcohol and emotion were going to take their toll. It wasn't long before Meredith fell backwards against the pillows, out cold. Izzie retrieved the spoon from her hand and the container of ice cream. "You're gonna hurt in the morning, hon…" She pulled the duvet over Meredith, and shut the lamp off. If Derek tried to call again, he'd get an earful, she told herself.

"What's wrong, Derek?" Addison asked as he slammed his office door shut forcefully on his way out.

"Nothing…" he muttered, juggling his brief case and his cell phone. "I'm going out."

"I can see that," she commented, raising one groomed eyebrow. "Don't tell me…you had a fight with your lady friend?"

"What makes you think that?"

"You have that cranky look, dear. After all this time, I know all your looks…" She took in his angry expression; his hair was in disarray, and his usual impeccable appearance was rather rumpled.

Derek stopped short. "I am NOT cranky, Addi. I'm just confused…she won't take my calls…when I go to her house, her roommate tells me she's sleeping, or at work…but I know she's there. In fact, Izzie was downright frosty when I talked to her too. I'm at a loss to explain it." He rubbed his hand over his jaw. "I thought we had a good thing going…"

"Derek, I'm shocked…since when do you get upset about a woman? I thought it was all just sex and good times for you." She put her hand to his forehead, as if checking for a fever. "Are you feeling all right?"

"Stop mothering, Addi…" Derek pushed her hand away irritably. "It was just sex, but yet more…hell, I don't know…"

Addison's green eyes narrowed as she looked at him, a little smile tugging her lips. "I think you might be experiencing a new kind of feeling, my friend. That gut twisting, heart wrenching, can't sleep feeling…"

"Yeah…?"

"You're in love with her, Derek…you have to tell her how you feel."

"Love? Seriously…?" He paused, realization dawning. "Oh god…maybe you're right…"

"Of course I'm right, Derek…. I know it's a foreign emotion for you, but just go with it…"

"How can I tell her when she won't talk to me?"

"You're a smart guy, you'll figure something out," she smirked.

"Maybe I don't want to…" Derek sighed, storming towards the doors. He needed to do something to take his mind off this, something that involved speed and danger, to get his blood pumping. He wanted that feeling to obliterate the ache that he felt from Meredith's absence. He'd spent the last few sleepless nights alone in his own bed, tossing and turning, missing her lithe body next to him. If this was love, well…was it worth the pain?

In the parking garage, he rounded the corner to where his car was parked, and stopped in his tracks. "What the fuck…?" he muttered, looking at his Porsche. It was covered in swathes of toilet paper, and there were eggs smashed onto the windshield. For a second, he was speechless, wondering who had the nerve to do this, and then he spotted a small note tucked under the wiper. He picked it up, and opened it.

Derek,

Izzie said I should talk to you, but this seemed like more fun…I thought we had something together…but if you want to be with other women…we're done…have a nice life, sweetie…

Meredith

He frowned, trying to understand where she was getting this idea from. From the moment he woke up in bed with her on New Year's Day, he hadn't been with anyone else. Meredith had become the only woman in his life, and he realized he damn well better tell her. At least convince her that he hadn't done anything to hurt her, that he would never hurt her. Maybe she wouldn't believe him, but he was going to find her and get her to listen to him.

"Oh, we're not done, honey…" he murmured, "far from it…" He looked at his car again, this time laughing out loud. "You never cease to amaze me…"

Meredith walked out to the parking lot at the end of the shift, wondering what Derek was doing. Then she shook her head, she didn't care what he was doing…that was for sure. She dug in her purse for the keys, not noticing the person that waited beside her Jeep in the twilight.

"Hello, Dr. Grey…"

"What...?" Meredith nearly dropped her purse in shock, her eyes going wide. "Derek, what are you doing here?" She eyed him suspiciously. He lounged against the Jeep, looking sinfully handsome in a dark cashmere coat, black sweater and jeans. For a second, her body tightened, wanting him, but then she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Waiting for you, obviously. I knew I could find you here - you won't talk to me, you make your roommate lie about your whereabouts…and then you egg my car…" Derek shook his head in reproach. "That's just wrong, Meredith…"

"It felt good…" she admitted.

Derek moved away from the car, coming to stand in front of her. He touched her cheek. "What did I do to piss you off, Meredith?" Their eyes met, his full of heat and remembered passion from their last encounter. A wash of desire flooded her at the same memory, and she bit her lip.

"If you have to ask, then you don't understand…" Meredith pulled away from him angrily. "This was a bad idea to begin with…I should have trusted my first instinct about you..."

"Look, Mer, I'll be the first to admit my affairs were usually casual…one night stands, maybe a few more if the woman is hot. You are the first one that made me re-think that…"

"Well, yay for me then…" Meredith retorted sarcastically. "I'm sure the red head you were kissing will appreciate the change of attitude…"

"Red head I was kissing?" he repeated. "Oh…you mean Addison?"

Meredith shrugged. "Whatever…"

"Addison is my partner at the office, remember…?"

"Then you were kissing your partner…"

"When would I have been kissing Addi?"

"It was at lunch…some little café…" Meredith admitted. "You don't even remember…?"

"You were checking up on me?"

"No…I just happened to see you."

Derek frowned, trying to recall when he would have been outside at a café with Addison. "Oh…god, we were celebrating a case that she won. I gave her a kiss to congratulate her. We're not sleeping together…I mean, she's…"

"Sure…whatever." Meredith waved her hand dismissively, and tried to edge past him. "Don't try to explain your way out of it…we had some fun, but it wasn't real…"

Derek took her hand, stopping her from going by. "Listen, Meredith…this is real…what I feel is real…"

"What do you feel?"

"Confused…addicted to seeing you…needing to hold you. I haven't been able to sleep, my work is suffering…" he murmured, pulling her against him. "Addison thinks I'm in love with you."

Meredith raised her eyebrows. "She does? You don't know?"

"Hell, Meredith…it's a foreign emotion for me, cut me some slack."

"Cut you some slack?" she repeated, disbelief in her voice. "Oh no…this is over...so over..."

Without stopping to think, Derek wrapped his arms around her; unmindful of anyone that may have been watching, all he wanted was to convince her of his feelings. He brought his mouth down over hers, forceful and urgent, and despite herself, Meredith found herself responding. His tongue was warm and wet, sliding along the length of hers, suddenly making her weak, and turning her inside out from wanting him. The kiss was hot and deep, and with just enough desperation to almost make her pause…almost…

"Let me show you how much you mean to me, honey…" he muttered, releasing her briefly. "Give me a chance to redeem myself…"

Meredith gulped, her heart racing, her body on fire for him all over again. She was weak when it came to him. "This is crazy…I've been trying not to think about you for the last week…and yet…it wasn't working…"

"No…?"

"Everything reminded me of you…even that damn stupid pink pillow…" she sighed. "I was ready to pitch it in the garbage, but then I remembered how cute you looked holding it…"

"There's no one else in my life but you, Meredith Grey," Derek said softly. "I want to prove that to you, if you trust me to go along with me…"

Meredith bit her lip, looking up into his expressive eyes. He could say so much without a word, she realized, seeing the raw emotion there. Even the dark smudges under his eyes were testimony to his feelings, and she touched his cheek lightly. "Yes…I trust you…" she murmured, knowing it was true. She did trust him, though somehow the jealousy had made her lose sight of that fact before.

"Thank god..." he sighed. "Come home with me?"

Meredith nodded, and before she could change her mind, Derek had her in his car, and driving the short distance to his house in record time. He guided her inside, and had the door slammed shut behind them, pressing her back against it just as fast. He had his hands in her hair, kissing her mouth, bruising it from the intensity, teeth pulling at her lip. With one hand, he gathered up her skirt, giving him access to the satiny skin underneath. With his other hand, he pulled her blouse away from the skirt and slid underneath to unsnap her bra. Then he moved his palm around to cup her breast, and she pushed against his hand. She sighed in his mouth, and he deepened the kiss, crazy about the feel of her against him again.

At the same time, Meredith pulled at the buckle of his belt with anxious fingers. She wanted him to take her over the edge, she wanted his mouth all over her, and she wanted his heat. Impatiently, she pushed his sweater out of the way, the need driving her, consuming her. It was like they were feeding off each other's desperation. Not that it mattered; nothing mattered except what they were doing to each other.

Half stumbling, half walking, they made it to his bedroom, falling onto the bed, still tugging at their clothes, discarding them in a trail. Coming up for air, she murmured, "Derek—"

"Hmmm?" He slid his mouth across her cheek, his fingers rolling her nipples into harder peaks. The heat in her clit intensified, and she sighed. He kissed her lips again and lifted his head to smile at her. He was hot and hard against her, and every rational thought she might have had deserted her.

"Oh, never mind…" she sighed, surrendering to the inevitable, as if she ever could have resisted him.

"Honey, this is all about you," Derek said huskily. "I need to convince you this is real…"

Then he pushed her back against the cool sheets, and his mouth consumed her, sucking on her tongue, biting her lip again. All the while rubbing himself against her, capturing her with his power, his need, with the size and the heat of him. The kiss was endless, sensually charged, and Meredith was overwhelmed at the intensity. She was lost to the aching pleasure that warmed her, making her feel whole again, clinging to him, her body limp with desire, as he touched her with his sure fingers. As if this had been taken to whole new level, every little touch sent sparks flying between them.

He kissed her more slowly then, down her throat, and along her breasts, her shoulders, and the inside of her wrists. Slowly exploring as if for the first time, to her hips and the curve of her waist, her belly and then her thighs. "God, Derek, don't stop…" she begged him, her voice low. She arched up into his mouth, willing him to touch her everywhere.

Derek's only response was to bury his mouth into her wetness, his tongue searching and licking at her clit, delving into her as he gripped her hips and brought her up closer to him. Meredith bucked and clawed at him, throwing her head back and screaming as molten heat flooded through her body, and she rocked with wave after wave of luscious little climaxes. He inhaled her warm scent, enjoying the way he could make her squirm and spasm around him. Slowly, he pulled away from her, stroking the quivering lips of her pussy with his tongue, and then tracing a line back up to her chest, and then to her mouth. Her skin was warm, and salty from the fine sheen of sweat that covered her, tiny quivers still running through her.

She pulled him up to her and kissed him hard, thrusting herself against his cock, spreading her legs wider for him. She had to have him inside of her, had to feel his hardness filling her completely, taking away the pain she'd felt. Derek kept pace with her urgency, taking her legs up higher around his hips. He gave her that sensual smile that she had come to know so well, pushing into her slowly, and all she could do was sigh in satisfaction. Inch by inch, he took his time to enter her, deeper and deeper, until he filled her completely.

Then he pulled part way out again, and plunged into her again, making her gasp and open her eyes wide to watch him sliding in and out of her. Her wetness on his cock. He lowered his head to her throat, grazing her with his teeth as he thrust into her again and again, until she was shaking.

With a low growl, he rolled them over, and she found herself looking down at him. Squeezing tightly around him, she leaned back and he pushed up hard into her again and again, as she stroked her clit. Soft little cries came from her throat, and the sound sent heat sliding down his spine to settle in his groin, to settle in his balls. She pulled herself back up and bent down to kiss him, her hair in a wild tangle around them. He pushed his fingers into her hair, and he fell into the fever of making love to her..not just sex...it was suddenly so much more. So hot, so wild, her mouth melting against him, as they pulsed together. The heat in their bodies spread, becoming more intense, pushing him on, up into her. The rhythm was mesmerizing, sweet hot passion all the way, harder and faster, until she arched away from him again, crying out, and everything in him released, every ounce pouring into her as she contracted around him in waves. They gave themselves over to the pleasure, dragging them both into ecstasy.

Meredith closed her eyes, as they lay together, sweat cooling on their bodies, breathing still ragged and hot. "Meredith…you are the only woman for me…" he murmured, moving over her again. "I love you, Meredith…will you marry me?"

Her eyes opened wide in the dim light, staring at him. Her hand went to his forehead, just like Addison had done to him earlier. "You're feverish…that's it…"

"No fever, babe…" he grinned. He pulled himself upright, kneeling on the bed, and all she could do was stare at the play of muscles along his chest that seemed too perfect to be real.

"Marry…you?"

"I don't want to spend another day without you in my life. Marry me…we can be crazy together…"

"Oh…" Meredith found herself speechless, her eyes filling with tears. Of all the ways she imagined this evening to end, this wasn't it. Her lip quivered, and he leaned in to kiss her, unable to resist that soft mouth.

"Say yes…" he murmured, wiping away the tear that trickled down her cheek.

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes, you idiot, I accept…" Meredith managed to laugh. "I love you too much to say no..." She sighed happily, as he slid his hand along her jaw, tipping her face up. His thumb rubbed along her bottom lip, as his lips hovered just above hers. Her breasts crushed softly against his chest, his cock throbbed between them, as he slowly kissed her, letting his tongue invade her mouth.

"Then we should celebrate this moment..." he murmured, lifting his head and smiling at her.

"We won't be able to tell our future children of how you proposed to me..." she giggled, wrinkling her nose in amusement.

"Very true...obviously we'll need to edit out this part..." he said, raising one eyebrow, before he began to kiss his way down her body, making her quiver in anticipation...

And once again, I've managed to have Derek propose to Meredith naked...I don't really plan it that way, it just seems to turn out that way in my stories somehow! But I don't think any of us mind that mental image too much... :o)