I want to thank you all so much! I know that hardly seems enough, but I'm so shocked by how lovely each one of you are! Thank you, and I hope this one isn't too bad or as if I'm "jumping the gun". Feel free to let me know your thoughts- I loved them! :-) Thank you so much for all the alerts and reviews I have received, it's a big shock as personally I find this story to be terrible. English isn't my first language either (as you can probably tell) so it's all the more challenging ;)

Chapter Ten

"It is your blood alone, or else I die..."

"You are my mate. You must start acting like it, otherwise I won't be around for much longer."

His words replay over and over in my head while I linger around in the yard, trying to make proper sense of them. What does he mean, he won't be around much longer if I don't offer my blood over to him? I mightn't know much. There is a lot more I don't know about than what I do know about all of this. I know vampires need us- a humans blood- to survive. Since he has no interest in getting it from his go-to-girl Pam anymore, it means he isn't getting it at all, and if he isn't getting it, then he's likely to starve or weaken by the hour.

What does it even mean to be a King's mate? That isn't something I even know the answers to. What is expected of me, now that I have been chosen? What am I supposed to do, now that I am here in his palace? I hardly know anything, and no one is bothering to tell me. No one is bothering to help me understand just what it is I'm here for. Am I expected to know already?

And he's right, of course, about everything he said to me: I am inexperienced, in a lot of things. This world and how to deal with vampires, especially. But how am I supposed to know if no one will bother to really sit me down and tell me just what my job here is, in being King Eric Northman's mate?

I want to call him back, tell him he isn't being entirely fair on me. Only he's gone, before I even got the chance to put my heart out there on my sleeve. So I'm not being entirely fair to him either, and I know it. He has treated me unbelievably well; He is letting me see my family tomorrow, the thing I wanted and needed most. For that alone, it makes me see that he is very kind and considerate.

I know one of my jobs here is to feed him. But how do I overcome that fear of the pain it will present me, with his fangs and all that blood drawn from my skin directly into his mouth? After what I just witnessed in the poolroom, how foreplay and feeding obviously go together, I don't even know where to begin on growing comfortable with it. Both things I am completely inexperienced with, which makes it a hundred times more scarier; the idea of it all. Seeing what happened in that room disgusted and disturbed me equally. There was no secret curiosity within me over that aspect of what goes on between a vampire and a human. It was something so... intimate, something I feel ought to be private, not showcased publicly for all eye's to see.

And why did he bother even showing me that? Does he expect me to do it with everybody around, watching? I could never do it like that. In secrecy with just the King of Louisiana himself might make it easier to deal with, but it would still be frightening to me. But I'm here now, aren't I? This is part of what is expected of me, isn't it?

I have a part to play, and that's as the King's mate. He will give me his immortal kiss someday, and I will be like him. I will thirst for blood, and all that other gruesome stuff that comes along with it. Evidently where I am now, as human, that means I also have to feed him, probably on a nightly basis.

I suppose I have lived a very conservative life. Sheltered even, like he assumed.

Gran brought me and my brother up and as two kids who went to church, and lived a mainly Christian life. I guess Jason found it easier to live the way this generation does, but that's probably just because he's a young male; Where everything is so carefree and things are done, like drinking and casual sex, but that never was me. I was never that girl. Often, I found it hard to fit in, and sometimes I would get so down that I loathed the way we were brought up as kids in this world. I used to feel as if I don't belong, and no wonder? It's the way I was raised, by my Grandmother. She taught me that drinking and drugs were wrong, and that sex and anything intimate is something done with someone you truly liked, and you don't boast about it or flaunt it around other people.

Maybe it's just my own beliefs and upbringing that has made all of this so hard on me to deal with?

I used to wonder if I was brought up in the wrong time, the wrong generation, because of all the beliefs Gran had instilled into me. Maybe I was meant to be in the earlier times, like the fifties, where sex was something unspoken of and only done behind closed doors, and where drinking was just a habit you did every once in a while when out with your closest buddies, or for special occasions? Even my best friend, Tara, once told me I wasn't mature enough for this world. That I'm so easily shocked by everything, and that it's strange, because it isn't like we're living in the fifties anymore, where everything had to be so prim and proper. There were so many times where I felt so frustrated and lonely in the world, because I felt like I didn't belong; I lived my life so differently from everyone else, and it wasn't just my gift that influenced that.

But how do you go against the way you were brought up?

Adapting, I know that's how he put it. Humans learn to adapt to their surroundings: We learn to blend in, put on a brave face, and learn to do what's expected of us. It seems so hard.

Maybe if I hadn't been brought up the way I was, I wouldn't have been so easily shocked by everything that was going on in that room? I wouldn't be so repulsed and find everything so indecent?

It's in times like these that I hate the way I was raised, but I know Gran had my best interests at heart. She never anticipated on this happening to me, and I sure didn't either. It's hard to break out of it, but I guess the only way how to learn to feed and please him is to really force myself into it by playing along, doing what is expected of me and considered a requirement.

It is easier said than done, though. I don't even know where to begin.

But I suppose a good place to begin is putting myself out there. Try not to be so judgmental, even though it's hard. Try not to be so easily shaken and shocked about things I have no basic understanding of just yet.

"Things could be a lot worse, and you know it," I whisper to myself. "He's trying his hardest, and he's being unbelievably kind and sympathetic to you. It's time to play my part, whatever it may be. Straighten your shoulders, get back into the house, look for the King, and then just say what needs to be said." I feel my stomach muscles tighten unpleasantly. "I know he said goodnight, but you've just got to go straight to him, and explain everything. Tell him how right he is, about what he said. This has to be your home now, Sookie, so straighten your shoulders back, conceal your tears from now on, and just try to get the job done. Grow up a little, and try not to be too scared of everything." Biting my lip, my eyes dart to the front entrance of the large house. The guard isn't standing there anymore. At least, he hasn't heard me talking to myself, like an idiot. "He needs your blood to survive, so you've got to give it to him. You can't hide from it forever."

Although my private little pep-talk doesn't quite work it's magic in making me feel totally at ease, talking out-loud in the open seems to give me a clearer head and put a more rational perspective onto everything.

As I make my start back inside, I peek into the poolroom, wondering if that is where he returned to. Only, he isn't there; There is no sight of him, just vampires and donors and naked skin and blood. I recoil back from the door, clamping my hands into tight fists, reminding myself to keep my cool. I remind myself that, when I first arrived here, I saw King Eric rip a vampires head off with his own bare hands. Seeing vampires feed from donors is little fish compared to how brutal that was.

I whirl around on the heels of my feet. Then I see one of his guards standing around. If anyone knows of the King's whereabouts, it'll be him for sure.

"I'm looking for the King," I tell him. Even I can hear the sheer anxiety in my voice.

"He's upstairs," he says, gesturing with the butt of his rifle to the winding staircase.

"Thank you," I croak out, and not keen on wasting another minute, I start climbing the stairs hurriedly. Once I reach the last step, I notice that the door to the bedroom I've slept in is closed. I have no idea what that means, but I'm hoping it doesn't mean anything bad. Maybe Eric just wanted a little bit of privacy to cool-off, after our disagreement out in the yard? Hope so.

I reach out for the brass doorknob, then hesitate, unsure. Am I supposed to knock before entering? Is that what I'm meant to do? My eyes dart down and find the guard again. I find him staring up at me shamelessly.

"You do know how to open a door, don't you?" he asks.

"I do," I reply shortly.

Twisting open the polished knob, I step in cautiously. For a moment, I don't find him, but then my eyes settle on near a fireplace I have failed to notice before. The King if squatting down near it, trying to get it going, his back facing me, and he is succeeding. He coaxes it to life just as I'm turning back to close myself into the room with him, and he pokes the logs around in the fireplace, bringing flames and warmth into the bedroom. He doesn't turn to give me his attention or to show me he knows I've entered, so I wonder if I should make a noise to make my presence known.

But then, it seems I don't have to, because he says suddenly: "It took you long enough to join me, sweetheart. Are the grounds truly that exciting to you?"

I have no idea what to say to that, as far as making pleasant conversation goes, so I just remain quiet, staring and waiting for his undivided attention. I clasp my hands out in front of me, twisting them nervously, waiting for his orders, as I watch him work with his broad shoulders.

"Are you just going to stand around all night, or are you actually going to make yourself comfortable by taking a seat?"

I didn't know me standing around was so obvious. I mean, he hasn't even turned around from the fireplace to look at me just once!

"I didn't realize I was being so obvious," I breathe out hesitantly.

He doesn't say anything in response to that, nor does he finally give me his full attention. It's obvious what he wants from me, though. So taking in a deep, steadying breath, I approach the side of the bed slowly and sit, facing him.

"Well, I'm sitting now," I say, managing a fake laugh.

"Believe me, I am well-aware," he says flatly.

Jesus, can even anything I do go past him? He knew about me going out into the yard, and now... he even knows whether I'm sitting or standing around or not.

Sucking in another deep breath, I let it all out and then try my hardest to just get it over with as quickly as I possibly can before courage fails me. "You were right," I begin honestly, "About everything you said out there while we talked in the yard. I want you to know that."

"Oh, really? What am I right about?"

"About what you said," I explain quietly. "About how due to my inexperience it... makes me easily shocked and... afraid of the things I don't understand."

At last, he turns to look at me. His skin looks even paler from the gleams of the fireplace and his blue eyes flash at me. They remind me of the eyes a dangerous predator wears, for some reason. "Usually I am right about most things," he says, and I can hear the arrogance in his voice. "The fact that I am now doesn't surprise me in the slightest."

Wow. And he's being really smug about it, too... No surprises there, though. He's a King; The most powerful vampire in his court, and he no doubt knows it himself. Isn't self-righteousness and royalty meant to go together, anyway?

"Um, as I was just saying," I begin again meaningfully, trying to not lose track of anything, "You were right. The way I was raised, by my Grandmother after my parents died had something to do with that. We were just raised up to be very... conservative, I guess. I suppose that's partly the reason I reacted the way I did to what I witnessed down there in that poolroom. But I feel there is a right time and place for everything, and I can't lie that it didn't disturb me." I know he is about to say something, but I put my hand in the air quickly, telling him not to start just yet. "Please, I'm not finished," I add desperately. "Don't think that all how you've treated me has gone unnoticed, and I am honestly grateful for it. You're letting me see my Grandmother tomorrow, and I'm grateful for that, too. You've been... unlike I imagined you would be, for a vampire King of the State. But it doesn't make all of this any less scary on me."

"So now you understand that I am treating you exceptionally well compared to others of the States?"

"Yes," I answer quietly, averting my eyes to my hands as I fidget with them as a distraction. I can still feel his eyes on me, though. "You've been real... patient and sympathetic with me, considering. In all the times I've spent around you, you've also given me enough distractions from being so homesick so... I guess that counts for something, too."

"There is a reason for that," he says, his voice deep, hoarse.

I nod at my hands, letting out a deep sigh. I think I know what that reason might be myself, although, I'm still a bit confused. "Because I'm your mate, right?"

"Yes. Exactly that."

"And what does it... mean, to be your mate? What am I supposed to do? It's something I don't understand. I mean, I've heard things, but I don't know whether there's truth to anything or not."

"Just what have you heard exactly?"

I say as distantly and as casually as I can manage, "Well, I know that I'll have to be turned into a vampire soon, and you told me it's a requirement you can't get out of. I know that much."

He rises to his feet fluidly and approaches the bed. He sits down beside me, and the mattress gives off a squeak and lurches with his weight. I try to get over my nerves at his closeness, but my body still tenses out of it's own will. It's hardly something I can control, really. My muscles just seem to want to do it.

"You are also mine," Eric says simply, like it's a statement, a pure fact.

I feel the bewilderment flicker on my face over it. "But what's even that supposed to mean? It's just a word to me, something I can't understand. It's not as easy for me as it probably is for you. If I'm yours, then... what does even that mean? What is expected of me, because of that?"

I have to physically force myself to hold his gaze, and nothing else. It's an incredibly hard battle, because my eyes just want to dart away. It's a heavy exertion on my brain.

"You want my blood," I go on quickly. "You just told me that outside. No one else's blood interests you now. Is that part of what happens?"

Some type of emotion flickers in his eyes at my question; One I can't work out. It seems I've gotten him speechless for a few minutes, because he doesn't answer for a while. When he does, his voice is quiet and soft, full of hesitance. "I'll be blunt and tell you that I believed that, for a thousand-year-old, I knew everything and had experienced everything there was. But with this... I'm at a loss to what exactly this is myself. I don't understand it fully myself, but maybe it isn't something to be easily understood and defined by words." He doesn't sound proud any to have to admit that to me. "However, I do know some things quite clearly."

"Which is what?" I ask desperately. I need to know. I've just got to know, if it'll help me in understanding anything about this.

"I don't think you are ready just yet to hear the answer to that," he murmurs under his breath, and I hear the amusement in his tone of voice good and well.

"Keeping things from me isn't helping me understand anything," I point out, feeling exasperated. "I really need to know, I think, for my own sanity. I can't learn how to do this with you, if I don't even know where to begin, can I?"

"I do want your blood, but it isn't just only that I am wanting from you. I desire other things as well."

"And what else is there?" I blather on confusedly. "I'm expected to feed you, but what else is there that I'm required to do, as your... mate?"

"Please, you may be naïve, but surely you're not that much?" There is disbelief and disgust in his voice.

"I guess I am really, really naïve," I say unhappily. "I honestly don't know where else you're going with this?"

King Eric raises his fair eyebrows at me. "Should I demonstrate, Sookie?"

I sit there, waiting for the full meaning of his words to finally sink in. Only they don't seem to. I'm utterly at sea in what he means. I guess he feels as if a demonstration is needed, on whatever that something may be, because without waiting for me to reply, he leans into me. I am unprepared when his lips touch mine, so much so that I can't even start to bring myself to move. My eyes flutter closed without my permission, I hear an unrecognizable noise erupt from me, sounding as if it is coming from miles and miles away, and this strange, unidentifiable warmth spreads throughout my entire body.

It's fast and unexpected, but it happens. And along with his very clear demonstration, it finally sinks into my brain heavily:

It isn't just my blood he is wanting. He doesn't want to just feed from me, but also... he wants sex. Physical pleasure. And, after what I saw tonight in the poolroom earlier, all that foreplay and blood, it hardly surprises me. I know, kind of, that vampires can be highly sexual.

My physical response to his kiss is not what I'm expecting. I don't feel grossed-out, or scared, or anything like that. I assume I would, but I don't. It isn't bad at all. No, it's almost... enjoyable, strangely enough. He runs his cool tongue over my bottom lip, and I feel my entire body shudder from head-to-toe. I feel one of his hands in my hair, fisting a handful of it, twining his fingers through the strands as I notice myself leaning into him on the mattress. He's a very good, accomplished kisser, and he knows how to do it amazingly well. I think that's half the trouble of knowing how to do what's right, what I should be doing. But hell, I don't even know what right is anymore. But once it belatedly finds me, I ease back on the mattress, tearing my mouth far, far away from his. He looks pained as he stares me deeply in the eyes without a single blink and I can see those tips of his fangs glistening through the part of his lips.

Something grows inside me as I stare back at him breathlessly. Courage. Decisiveness.

Play my part.

Sorry to cut it off so abruptly. I am halfway through the next chapter, which will be longer, I promise. This is my first time writing a kiss, how embarrassing. I hope it isn't really bad. I will go run away :P Thank you so much for reading. Feel free to tell me your thoughts!

Thank you all for being so kind and nice,

Melanie (Truebie)