A/N: Phew! 10th chapter is here! I had loads of things I wanted to tell you but I forgot, haha. Whatever, you know, just read A/N under this chapter, I have more to say there.

10: Man frenetically possessive

On Monday morning no warming sun rays woke me up as they usually do. And I found that strange. Instead, I could hear drops hitting my bedroom's windows in quickened but irregular pace. Is that even possible, to rain again? They are such rainy days lately. Almost as if the weather followed the mood surrounding me. It's so very rare that it rains in L.A., moreover this season.

I was disappointed as I opened my eyes and noticed that my bed was ordinarily...empty. Ciel wasn't lying beside me anymore, so I raised and looked around. My sight traced around the room and in the end it stopped at the window and although it shocked me a bit, I was glad to find the boy there.

The bluenette was sitting on the window still, wide just exactly for him to fit onto it comfortably. His head was turned towards the glass covered in raindrops from the outside. His bare back was leaned on the cream-colored wall of the alcove, and he loosely held his legs, covered in his sleeping pants, crouched on the still, barefoot. I am not sure why he is sitting by window shirtless but I knew it made me uneasy. I looked his body over, before he noticed me-but what am I saying, he can't. I am surprised I still tend to forget sometimes.

His torso was slim and pale, but entirely flawless. He was quite..petite, in general, but he didn't look immature. Just as he wasn't really tall, yet he had beautiful long legs. To shorten it, he was 17 year old miracle. But it hurt to know I am losing him. And that I have no right to claim him anymore. Even though, I've never had it at the first place. I could be a possessive bastard.

Since he didn't realize I woke up, I decided to speak up to let him know.

"Ciel?" I called to him with tired voice. He immediately turned his head towards me, with face expressionless as his eyes were closed. But it wasn't very visible because strands of his front hair were falling over it. And he didn't mind, I suppose he got used to it. I noticed the hue of blue in his dark hair again. I remember as it was one of the first features I noticed about him. I could describe his beauty to infinity, however..

"What are you doing there? Will you come back?" I asked calmly but he didn't respond with words. He stayed like this for another moment but then nodded lightly, and turning around he dropped his legs down from the still. He carefully got off of it and reached left to touch the wall. Following it with light touch, he quite skilfully found the way back, avoided the night table and then got back onto the bed.

"Come here," I had to demand but he didn't refuse. I was lying shirtless on stack of pillows (so almost sat) and when he found me, he rested his head on my shoulder again, sighing. I know he was unhappy, he was probably in sorrow but I believe what he said at night. He is reasonable enough not to touch me if he didn't want to. On the other side we both knew we should get used not to..

"How long have you been sitting there?" I asked again, looking down at him slightly.

"About half an hour, approximately," he said quietly, "would you believe it? That it's raining again. I love rain, I couldn't help but to get there and listen to it." He explained and I smiled lightly, reaching my hand to his front hair so I could shove it away from his eyes. He leaned head back as a response. I had that strange tendency to lean down and kiss him but something told me I shouldn't, over the wild heartbeat, maybe my conscience. In that while, anyways, a knock on the door resounded, so Ciel turned forward again and I called "come in."

"Hey Seba-...holy shit are you sleeping together" the blond burst into the room and talked so fast it couldn't even be considered as a question. Ciel immediately tore away from me and cleared his throat.

"Yes and no," I said and couldn't help but laugh shortly. Ciel jabbed me with his elbow in that moment, apparently embarrassed, how cute.

"Okay, well, fuck. I figured. Whatever, anyways," he jabbered and then finally got to the topic, "can I have something to eat?"

"Of course, I will make breakfast. Then we have to get ready, we're leaving before lunch." With that I switched to serious tone, pulling away from Ciel too as I got up from the bed. Alois took a moment to look us over, probably still shocked we're not wearing shirts and God knows what's running in his mind.

…

After I took morning shower, I prepared some French toasts, hot and cold drinks and so on, as we sat in dining room and silently ate breakfast. As we were finishing, I asked,

"So you have your own formal clothes, right?" I assured myself and Alois nodded, well, I know they are not kids anymore and they know what to wear or get the clothes sooner. When we finished breakfast, I went to dress myself and Ciel went to dress with Alois.

I pulled a pitch black dress shirt out of my closet. It was ironed and clean, since I don't wear it very often. Claude once told me that too much black doesn't suit me. But this was funeral after all, and fuck Claude anyways. I slid the shirt on my torso, and then buttoned. I combined it with all black suit but with a red tie.

I easily combed my jet black locks which contrasted my skin. As I examined myself in the mirror, I thought it really is pale, people usually don't believe me I am local due to my very light skin, but it's not my fault, it's just my pigment and also I am not really an outside person, to sunbathe in my free time - not that I have much free time.

We met again in living room.

"Is these clothes ok?" Alois asked me as they stood in front of me as on final exams. I fast checked what they wear. The blond was wearing classically black jacket, slacks and a white shirt with black tie. Ciel had those black sunglasses, and to my surprise, his clothes were very similar to me, only except he had a blue tie instead of red.

"Yes, it is quite correct." I nodded and took all the important things and papers in a briefcase. I also took a black umbrella for myself and borrowed my spare one to boys, since the rain was still wild, and we left the apartment.

The funeral took place in a church few minutes away from here with my car. I introduced boys with several of my employees, who were also Hannah's co-workers and friends. I got to meet some people they knew, and in the end even those Angela and Ash, who arrived from Phoenix. Fortunately, they seemed kind. A bit strange people but nice. At least they promised to take good care of Alois and mainly Ciel.

During the ceremony inside the church, I sat by wall, next to Ciel, who held Alois' hand and meanwhile he even laid head on my shoulder and cried silently. I tried to be his support, as much as I could.

After that we had lunch in restaurant right beside, talking formal things through. It was all the matters that had to be done, with social workers and so on. I made sure to keep exact address of their new home and contacts on their legal representatives, for any case. Then after lunch, the worst came..

"Well then, we are going to leave. The long trip is ahead of us. Do you have all your stuff, Ciel and Alois?" the uncle of Alois asked and my heart slowly sank as I realized again.

"Sebastian," Ciel, who was sitting beside me, said my name quietly so I leaned towards him, asking "yes?"

"Can we go outside for a while?" He asked and his voice slightly trembled. I agreed and taking my umbrella and Ciel's hand, we disappeared in gardens connected to the restaurant. I lead him far enough, under a tree and held the umbrella above us.

"You will be fine, right?" he started the last conversation, taking his glasses off.

"More importantly I hope you will be. I'm staying after all." I said, swallowing as I saw the boy was as anxious about this as I was.

"I don't know how to make this easier," he said, his head tilted.

"I don't think that's possible. Do you wish to stay friends? You know, pen-friends or something." I suggested, but knowing it's one suggestion worse than other. I heard him gasp quietly at that statement.

"Y-yeah, I suppose." With his agreement I could see some tears on his eyelashes again. Then he reached in his back pocket and pulled out the phone I gave him "By the way, I should return you this."

"No, no, I gave it to you, I don't care what you use it for - it's yours. You need a phone." I assured him and pushed his hand back as he was returning it. "Moreover we can't even remain friends if you don't have it."

"Oh..yeah, thank you then." He said and shoved it back in pocket.

"Can I ask you for something?" I asked and he nodded, "will you call me when you arrive? I want to know you are alright."

"Okay. I will."

I just glanced back to see others, noticing Alois about to go in our direction. I looked back at Ciel with agonized look. The rain wasn't subsiding, right contrary. The heavy drops were attacking surface of the umbrella above us, noise of rain all around us, preventing us from hearing anyone else. Ciel sobbed silently.

"So this is our farewell.." I said as an ending, and lifted my arms to give him a cordial hug but in that while, he raised head, and his hand reached for my tie as fast as he could find it, and he tugged it downwards, standing on his tiptoes in process. I wrapped my arms around his waist and we unexpectedly kissed, for the very last time. This moment lasted..I struggled to cope with my inner feelings and morals, wanting to take him and never give back. Until..

"Woah," sounded behind us and we parted. "Are you guys saying goodbye or proposing." Alois asked..so wrongly. Sometimes this boy lacked sentiment for right words, I swear.

"Almost. You were almost right," I paused, "breaking up." I answered sarcastically. Ciel now standing right beside Alois, pushed the blond harshly away and tried to find his way back.

"Wait Ciel, I'm sorry- wait, wait there, I will talk to you right away," Alois said in apologize and escorted Ciel half way back so someone would direct him forward. Then he came back to me.

"You can ruin the moment, you know that?" I reproached him, folding my arms on chest.

"Gosh, I didn't even know you were dating, I am sorry!" Now he showed some empathy at last.

"You're right. Not for real. Maybe if he wouldn't have forgotten before." I admitted.

"Are you going to be ok?" He worried but kept his tone calm when talking to adult.

"Don't be ridiculous, I am a big boy, I won't cry." I joked a bit, smiling sadly.

"Big boys like me, they don't. But you're a man and you know..real men cry."

"Perhaps." Not in such situations, though."

"Yeah, you know Sebas. It's going to be ok, somehow. And you know how the saying goes: If you love him, let him go." I raised eyebrows and replied.

"You are such a smartass today," I sighed and he smiled, I don't even know, he annoys me sometimes but in the end I kinda like him. As a goodbye, we even hugged shortly.

And not long time after, as I was standing in front of the car he was leaving by, as he was about to get in and turned his head towards me for the last time…as he said:

"Goodbye, Sebastian."

I felt my heart crack.

Loneliness. Regret. Lost hope.

I kind of can't get reconciled with this. Somehow I had a feeling like it won't end this easily. But it really did. How is it possible, how could it?! It was too short for it to end.

He's gone.

I leaned my elbows on my terrace railing, glancing down at L.A. It was around 8 PM already and I just couldn't help myself but everything reminded me of him. I knew what happened on this terrace and I was slightly anxious. I waited for Ciel's call. It has been over 5 hours, I held phone in my hand and closed my eyes, exhaling the deep breath.

Rain was several hours gone already, just a mild wind was flowing against me, waving my hair. I heard muffled noise of the city, many floors below me. I was bored, hurt, utterly useless. And though I should do work, I think I am spending this evening on this abandoned terrace, pondering about "friend" I love.

I brought here my so far unwrapped Chesterfield cigarettes, which I promised to throw away but I didn't. I was so weak when it comes to quit smoking, I only manage when my life is in order. But now, what matters, really. Unwrapping the packet, I pulled out and ignited a cigarette, and with first inhale I started destroying myself even physically.

Right in that while, my phone started ringing, now in my pocket. My heart skipped a beat, I immediately reached for it and I was so happy to see the name 'Ciel' on the screen. Thanks God.

"Hello? Michaelis." I greeted and introduced myself, out of pure habit, and leaned on the railing again.

"Hey Sebastian." Hearing his voice again just..made me melt.

"I thought you'd forget." I stated, inhaling from the cigarette as I already fired it.

"Of course I wouldn't forget! We just arrived not long time ago. It was like five hours by car, you know. And I was unpacking my things and so on. What are you doing?" He explained and I exhaled the smoke before I answered.

"I see, all right. I'm doing-"… saying 'nothing' would just made Ciel think I'm unstable shit and maybe a bit worried, so I decided to act like an adult man with life, "working. But not right now, I'm just relaxing, watching sunset and stuff, you know. How about you?"

"Nice. That must be wonderful," he paused, "I'm just listening to a radio show."

"Ok. So, what are you actually going to do there? Your school is ending soon, right?" I asked.

"Yes that's right. We end in less than two weeks, so Alois and I won't go to school anymore. We will just sigh up to a new one here. I'm glad for that because I don't know how people would react there. So after summer break, in September, Alois will start his last year as a senior, and I'm going to eleventh grade, as junior. "

"I see." I shortly replied.

"Yes and Sebastian?" He asked.

"Hm?"

"Who the heck pays my phone bill?" I laughed slightly at that question.

"Why me of course. Don't worry about that."

"No way, you won't be paying it!" He protested.

"Oh, stop me then," I grinned, "if you raise enough money to pay it yourself – go ahead. But until then I'm paying. Listen, I said I don't care who you call to, I don't care if it's not our calls I pay for. Let me just do this for you." I insisted. Of course I cared if we talk to each other, and yes, of course I would mind if he used it to phone-sex with I don't know who, but even if yes, whatever it is, I'm doing this for him. Ciel sighed at that.

"I better find a job then. But thank you, you're too kind."

So Ciel and I talked and talked, it might be about an hour, and frankly some phone bill was the last thing I'd care about. I was glad to talk to him, I'd give up on every minute just to hear his voice, even though we only talked as good friends.

At that point, I realized where we ended up. With one memory, the imaginary crack in my heart as if parted even more.

We were almost like friends except that friendship was the last thing we would ever have.

And I realized this is exactly where we got, we reached what I thought was impossible.

Four weeks later

What to say, it has been a month. From the beginning, Ciel and I had one long call every evening but with time, it reduced on one in two days, calls were shorter, gradually we had nothing to say anymore, and by now it has been 5 days we haven't talked to each other. Sometimes, he didn't even pick the phone up. More and more frequently.

That was both bad and good. I managed to think of work better, but on the other hand if I remembered him and started thinking, it felt even worse and made me fucking miserable.

It was Saturday evening, when I was going from work and I decided not to go straight home. That was fatal decision. And I need to say that with this evening, my life changed substantially. In the worst but also the best sense.

I was holding alight cigarette, don't get me wrong, I haven't smoked for five days I swear. I somehow felt like visiting an old place, like it didn't matter anymore, I headed to a certain bar. Something that I don't think about anymore, started here, and I didn't want to start it again but I felt like returning to my old life, I felt like changing the way it turned out.

There's always reasonable amount of people here, music always spread loud but pleasant. I had mixed feelings about stepping here again, but it always makes me feel vivid. I was finishing the cigarette, while walking in, since it was one of few bars where you could still smoke. And you could smell it to a certain extent.

I was searching for a place to sit, thinking about which drink to have, my mind was finally a bit clearer right now, I hoped to finally get a bit stable tonight, to finally sleep carefree. But that apparently wasn't going to happen. All my hopes were lost when someone touched my shoulder and I heard so damn familiar fucking voice.

"Either you went through another break-up or you still haven't gotten over me." The sentence was whispered into my ear and the sensation run through my body in shiver. I was so afraid to turn around.

"What would you know, Claude." I closed my eyes and exhaled, before I was ready to see the person behind me. I turned around and looked slightly up, meeting intense gaze of his light brown eyes. Just as I remembered, they were practically golden, sparkling, magnetizing. I am not ready for this.

"You're smoking." He answered confidently, pointing at my hand holding the smoking stick. "Let me buy you a drink, you're all shaking, Seb." He offered with his fucking charm and taking my hand he led me to the bar. I could do nothing. I followed him vacantly.

"You shouldn't smoke," he advised calmly when we sat to the bar and he ordered twice Jack Daniel's without my awareness, which I barely noticed. In next second, he was taking my half-finished cigarette from my hand, and put it between his lips, finishing it for me, "you said that yourself." He added, exhaling the smoke. It took me a long while to be able to talk and he was well aware of it.

"How's business going?" he changed topic.

"What the fuck are you trying on me again?" I furrowed eyebrows, getting more annoyed with his smooth behavior with every second. But I also know he's driving me mad in other senses.

"Cool it, drink and relax." He ordered me easily and shifted the glass of alcohol they just brought, towards me. I only took a sip before he stated another question. "So it's your birthday in two weeks, right? Are you gonna make a party at your place again?"

He was right. I'd almost forget about my own birthday because of all the things happening. I had no time to think about it.

"Right.. Maybe, perhaps."

"I haven't seen you for a while. Why are you here today? You know it might bring you certain memories." He purred.

"You have no fucking right talking to my life again, Claude." I said assertively, so hardly trying to resist this motherfucker in close-fitting button-up shirt with black jacket.

"Shh, shut your little mouth. You're dying to hear my opinions. You're dying because you see me again. Your mind is on fire, your body as well. You're forgetting about everything else in your life. Isn't that right?"

HOW DARE HE.

I stood up, tired of his shit. I reached out and slapped him hard over his flawless face. This fucking monster, how dare he to awake my feelings for him, how dare he act like a total dickhead again! I've never felt such hatred, I've never felt so excited either.

What he did then, was even more bothering than if he hit me back (of which he was very able). He stood up as well, cupping my angry face, and as he did, my features softened. He leaned in and kissed my lips softly. FUCKING PRICK!

I pushed him away, with tears in my eyes. I hated myself and I hated him, I hated everything happening right now and I wanted to get out.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" I shouted at him, at which he only raised an eyebrow. I pushed him away and immediately left the bar again. I went so fast, my heartbeat was frantic, I didn't know if I wasn't running, my mind was completely on fire. I wanted to call Ciel. I needed to hear him. I had to know that I don't love Claude.

I dialed the number while escaping, listening to horrible beeps of waiting.

"Hello?"

"Ciel." I breathed, trying so hard to sound normal. I didn't wish him to know what's wrong with me, I only needed to…I don't even know! I just had to talk to him.

"Oh hi, sorry Sebastian, Ciel is not here, he had forgotten his phone here. It's Alois." For fuck's sake, I don't need to hear this dork.

"Where is Ciel?!" I asked emphatically.

"Um, he, well, to be honest.. He's meeting someone. He'd been asked out, you know. " His brother said and I stopped on my way, breathing heavily.

"WHAT?" I gasped.

"Yeah, sorry. I'll tell him to call you later. See you."

He hung up. And in that while my cracked heart shattered completely.

Oh.

I laughed madly, shortly.

No. No no no.

The thing I did then, was heading straight to my car.

Haha no, no way boy. No. Fucking. Way.

Everything but this. I tried so fucking hard not to fall in armful of that fucker in the bar. I was able, I could do it, but I knew it's not what I wanted. WHY? Because I fucking love Ciel. I don't care if we call this friendship, I don't care we're supposed to forget! No other businessman is going to claim him, not even any adolescent his age. Whoever it is,

Ciel Phantomhive is MINE.

I was so indescribably jealous, I was in absolute rage, I've never felt like doing anything as much as now. Now I was aware of running, I cared about nothing around me, I couldn't care less about Claude back there, I couldn't give fuck less. I literally jumped in my car as I reached it, starting it up. I drove to the airport, highway, directly, fast.

…

On the airport I checked closest flights in Phoenix in Arizona. The first one was about to take off in 25 minutes and I knew this is my only chance. I went to the booth to ask..

"Although, we have last two seats available in this airplane, sir, I don't think I am able to sell them, it is too late for booking."

This woman doesn't know, she has no clue who she is fucking talking to. I'll do anything to see Ciel right now, I swear to God if I had gun right now, I would threaten her (ok, maybe not, I am a decent man, but still, mad decent man.) To shorten it, I talked to her for five minutes to convince her how life important this is and that I'm able to pay the highest cost. And you know, my rhetorical talent has won. She sold me the flight ticket. Expensive as fuck of highest level but it's worth it, I don't care. I might be a possessive bitch but I need to tell Ciel he's mine.

In hour and half I'm in Phoenix.

It's half past 8. I so don't care.

Because I still love him.

..

A/N: Don't worry! I know it looked horrible for a while, I am very risky with this FF but trust me, everything will be just fine *caresses your head, pat pat*.
I want to thank you for all the favs, follows reviews but I just want to tell you... yeah YOU hey, exactly you. I know you are reading this but you don't respond, like, I just want to say I appreciate every review, not because of the number of them (well..) mainly because I KNOW you are reading this. Because maybe there is a lot of readers I don't know about. You know just writing "cool, I'm reading" is enough to let me know you care and you want me to continue :3..to who does this, I am extremely grateful! You make me feel worthy w
As a reward for you to be so patient readers and awesome people :D, I tell you that I am super excited for another 2-3 chapters and I think you're gonna like them. Especially next one.
If you want to read it, let me know :) i love you, I live for you, ahaha I am done *falls in the bed after hours and hours and hours of writing.*
I'm just kidding I'm going on tumblr.