"Dun."

Neville groaned, "Ron!"

"Du-nah!"

"Ron seriously!"

"DUN DUN DUNN-"

"RON!"

Ron stopped mid roll, his fingers formed in a little gun as he hid behind a suit of armor, his head peeking out around the legs to stare at Neville and Draco who were standing in the middle of the hall, glaring at him.

"What?" He asked indignantly, "Come on guys, we're on a rescue mission! Where's our inner James Bond?!"

Draco gave him a slightly wary look, "My inner who? And I can tell you, if this Bond character is in you, I don't want any part of him in me."

"Oh wait!" Neville was bouncing with excitement,"James Bond is that Muggle guy in the purple dinosaur suit that chases the little muggle kids!"

"He does what!" Draco was looking rather scared. "Woah, messed up people these muggles." He said quietly to Neville who nodded solemnly in agreement.

"NO NO NO!" Draco clapped a hand over Ron's mouth.

"Must you always speak at such volumes?"

Ron licked Draco's hand, causing Draco to scream at a rather high pitch.

"Must you always scream at a pitch only dogs can hear?" Ron countered.

"Neville, you're talking about Barnie, and the kids' parents are there-"

"Holy crap, the parents watch the guy in the suit chase their own kids, that's messed up that is."

"HE ISN'T CHASING THEM! HE'S TEACHING THEM ABOUT SHARING!"

Draco looked at Neville, then back at Ron, and then laughed.

"I'm sorry, he's doing what?"

Ron rolled his eyes, "He's teaching that sharing is caring!"

Draco sniggered and Neville shoved his fist in his mouth to keep from laughing, his face slowly turning purple.

"Honestly! It is a valuable show with valuable lessons!"

Draco stopped sniggering and gave Ron another wary glance,

"Wait wait wait, you're telling me you actually watch this show about a cannibal in a dinosaur suit chasing kids?"

Ron huffed, "I watched it as a kid okay, didn't everybody?"

Neville shook his head and Draco smirked,

"Actually Weasley, we didn't waste time playing with Muggle toys. Shocker huh?"

Ron stuck his tongue out and turned on his heel, strutting away with whatever dignity he thought he still possessed.

"Should we tell him that the hospital wing is in the other way?"

Draco shook his head, "Nah, he'll figure it out."

They leaned against the wall in the shadows for nearly 5 minutes until Ron came stomping back around the corner, his face red.

"Come along minions, the hospital wing is this way!"

Draco and Neville snickered before following their slightly deranged companion.

"Oh bloody hell, Madame Pomfrey is still up!" Ron groaned as if this happened to be the end of world.

Neville, looking falsely sorrowful patted Ron on the back, "Well, I guess that means we can go back to the dorm and leave Harry to deal with the dark for one night, shame."

Ron gave him an incredulous look, "Oh Nev, don't worry, a spritely old matron will not stop us!"

Draco snickered, "Did you just call Madame Pomfrey 'spritely'?"

Ron turned slightly red, "Well, er, she is rather quick on her feet for one of her age, right? RIGHT?"

Draco cringed as Madame Pomfrey turned towards the door, which the boys quickly darted away from, which promptly closed, which promptly alerted the nurse to someone's presence. Woah, thought Neville, that's a whole lot of promptlies!'

"Hello, who's there?" Madame Pomfrey was waving her arms out in front of her like she was swatting a fly.

"Who's there? I'll tell the headmaster!"

Draco felt Neville stiffen next to him, oh shit Neville! Now is not the time for panic attacks! Neville's breathing was getting very shallow, and loud.

"Neville!" Hissed Draco, "Cut it out!"

Neville was heaving against the wall, his chubby face red from the deprivation of oxygen he seemed to be enduring.

"Can't –huff- breathe –huff-!" Neville promptly collapsed on the floor.

"Oh. Shit."

Draco and Ron ran in little circles around him, still hearing Madame Pomfrey's continuous threats from the other side of the door.

"What do we do what do we do?"

"I don't know I don't know!"

"Oh shit oh shit!"

"God damn god damn!"

"Neville Neville!"

"Wake up wake up!"

Draco turned to Ron and hit him upside the head,

"Okay, the doubling needs to stop now."

Ron nodded, "Okay…okay"

"Ron!"

"Sorry sorry! Oh shit I did it again! OOOOOh, have you ever heard that song? Oops I, did it again with your heart, go lost, in this little gaaame!"

Draco slapped Ron, "Shut. Up."

"Sorry."

Neville groaned on the ground.

"."

Ron bent over and started slapping the boy around the face, punctuating each slap with a 'WAKE UP BUTT MUNCH!"

Draco groaned as he heard Madame Pomfrey's steps get closer to the door. He grabbed Ron by the hair, yanking hard, while shooting a boil-inducing curse at Neville. The unconscious boy immediately broke out in pusing, pulsing, hideous boils.

"Oh, That's gross."

"Run Ron!"

Madame Pomfrey threw the door open to find Neville lying on the ground, groaning, covered in boils.

"Mr. Longbottom! What happened to you!"

She tsked as she levitated him into the hospital wing, accioing potions from her stores.

"Run, run, we can slip in before the door closes!"

Ron looked at the quickly closing door,

"Yeah right-"

"GO!"

The boys managed to dive into the hospital wing, landing with Ron lying on top of Draco, who's silvery eyes widened in horror.

"So, what did you think of that herbology quiz?"

Draco's eyes widened in shock again, "Er, excuse me?"

"I think I might have put too much soil into the pot. But, then I saw how much was in Hermione's and it made me think maybe it was too little-"

"Ron, get off me."

Ron only then seemed to take in their position, "Oh. How did you get under me?"

"Draco, Ron?" Harry's sleepy whisper reached the two boys right before a wrestling match began.

"Harry? YOU'RE ALIVE!"

There was a scuffle outside the door, Madame Pomfrey had obviously heard Ron's shout.

"Oh shite."

The two boys ran and dove under a bed, the one farthest from Harry's.

"Peeves!?" Madame Pomfrey burst through the door, Neville levitated behind her, ran head first into the closing doors.

"Oh, tsk tsk, sorry Longbottom."

Ron snorted in amusement, but Draco wisely clamped a hand over the loud boy's mouth.

"Peeves! Where are you? I know you're here, and if I find you've been in my underwear again, I'll go to the headmaster, again. Show yourself Peeves!"

Unfortunately, Peeves wasn't there to show himself, so Madame Pomfrey lay Neville down on a spare bed next to Harry and took off for the headmaster. Once the door had closed, Harry spoke into the darkness,

"Does anyone else have some mental images that they want to erase, or is that just me?"

There was a murmur of agreement, and the two boys under a bed crawled out and over to their other friends. Neville was still unconscious, but he was moaning lightly, and would probably wake up soon.

"So, Peeves has a thing for Pompom's lingerie…hmm."

"Underwear Ron, underwear, Madame Pomfrey does not wear lingerie."

Ron cast a knowing look at Draco,

"And, my pale faced friend, you know that for a fact do you. I always knew you had a thing for older woman, but jeez, that's taking it a little far don't you think? Harry, isn't there a word for this, it's like pedophilia, but opposite."

Harry thought for a minute, but his vocabulary obviously did not consist of a word that applied to Draco's apparent situation.

"..!"

"Okay Drakie Poo."

Draco cast Ron an infuriated glance.

"What did I tell you about the nicknames? My name is Draco, plain Draco, it is a fascinating name insinuating power and strength, and the fact that you twist it with horrible nicknames is shameful. You may call me Draco, not, Drakie, not drakie poo, not dracums, not pale face, not dray-dray, not dray, not, Drakamuffin, not sugarlips, and under no circumstances, are you ever to call me darling, sweetie, honey buns, cutie patootie, or," He ran a hand over his face, "Sexilicious bed buddy."

Ron sniggered as he remembered when he had called Draco that one morning at breakfast. The whole great hall had frozen, and Draco had looked at the red head in horror, while Harry and Neville sniggered into their eggs, Neville actually managed to snort eggs out his nose.

A loud groan from the bed next to them alerted them to Neville's consciousness.

"Neville! You're alive! Guess what! Pompom's wears lingerie, Draco has seen it!"

Neville promptly passed out again, only after giving Draco a worried look.